apocalypse:

@ sisi_kill
It is you who doesn't get it , it is all about sexxx. When I was under my parents roof I respected them and I never brought a girl home , yes I never had sex with a girl in my parents house knowing the kind of mum I have.
If you call her agarasha ( love-peddler ) cos she sleeps over or cos we have intimacy , what will you say about a girl who doesn't stay over at her boyfriends but has sex 4 , 5 or maybe 6 times a week. Please go back and reread my posts clearly and you'll see we don't abuse it. If you ever have intimacy with your boyfriend or had sex with your husband before marriage then you have no right to call her what you called her cos you are not just one but a hypocrite as well. I do not buy the no sex before marriage law and I'm not one to lie about it.

Once again, you miss the point. I am not getting on your case because you are sleeping with your girlfriend before marriage. Quite frankly I don't care for all that religious crapola, I'm talking about your girlfriend remaining in the house after your mother arrived. Going without the sex for the couple of days your mom was visiting for isn't gonna kill her. It is about RESPECT and her totally disregard of it is what is called AGARASHA behavior.

No matter how you slice and dice it. . .she is NOT your wife, She is just a girlfriend.

@ OP,

So if your momsie didnt chase her, You would have been humping her while your mom is in the other room hearing those noises? You get liver o.

dayokanu:

@ OP,

So if your momsie didnt chase her, You would have been humping her while your mom is in the other room hearing those noises? You get liver o.

I wonder ooo,
Whatever happened to respecting d elders?
It is called 'iso anya' in ibo

Sorry but though strictness is good how you apply it matters too.In my street where i grew up i have seen two families where the severe stictness of the parents have made the children all who are older than me not to communicate with the parents again.In one of the families the dad died and 4 of his 6 boys refused to come for his burial.

oh wow, lots of bad blood in that family

This shitt happened to me when i was 17+, hae to get my own apartment, after i did popsi and momsi cam visiting and continued the embarrassment, i stood up for what i wanted and they were forced to accept the relationship and the girl and she cooks for them when they come, insort she was living with me permanently lol, But the sad news was that the girl was a perfect cheat, slept with cousin, was sleeping around, We dated for close to 5 years.

Let me cut the bullshitt, my advise is oga, stand up for what you want, with time they will have no other option but to accept the girl and the relationship. Are you mature enough for marriage bro?

Tell mama to shut the hell up it's your life!

Take care.

Codec.

^^did you say 17?

let me assume some of you are lying sha.

Sisi_Kill:

Once again, you miss the point. I am not getting on your case because you are sleeping with your girlfriend before marriage. Quite frankly I don't care for all that religious crapola, i'm talking about your girlfriend remaining in the house after your mother arrived. Going without the sex for the couple of days your mom was visiting for isn't gonna kill her. It is about RESPECT and her totally disregard of it is what is called AGARASHA behavior.

No matter how you slice and dice it. . .she is NOT your wife, She is just a girlfriend.

[b][/b]
my thoughts exactly! What was she still doing in the house after your mum arrived?? And what did she expect? Warm hugs and hearty chit chats from mumsie? Either she's so young she's silly or she doesn't come from a proper home. U on the other hand should grow up and stop whinning about your mum cos she did the right thing. Bear in mind that the people that would be saying otherwise probably don't even live in Nigeria

I cant imagine my mother walking my brother's girlfriend out of his apartment. Damn! It will not be good. I mean for her. And by her I mean my mom, lol.

YOUR MUM HAS NO RIGHT TO SEND YOUR GIRL PACKING EXCEPT YOU ARE UNDER 18
IF YOU ARE OVER 18 AND CAN TAKE CARE OF A GIRL FRIEND, YOU ARE A MAN
MUM HAS NO RIGHT AT ALL TO PUSH THEIR OLD GENERATION CONCEPT ON US AT DUE AGE

SHE IS TRYING TO BABYSIT YOU COS SHE THINKS YOU ARENT MAN ENOUGH

IS IT COMPULSORY TO FFUCCK ONLY WHEN YOU MARRY ?

WHEN DID IT BECOME COMPULSORY TO MARRY SEF

LET YOUR MUM KNOW SOON ENOUGH THAT YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH TO KEEP RELATIONSHIPS

IT DOESNT MATTER HOW MANY DAYS YOU GIRL STAYS WITH YOU.

I guess yall culture is almost the same as mines. But, dude, u gotta be a man and grow a spine! You cant let your moms stay chasing away all your galfriends!

I remember my mom and sister used to try to get involved in me and  daughter's mom's life but I checked them quick! Considering both of us completed college relatively early and had a baby soon after. . . . sheesh! Oh, did I also mention that we eloped?  Aint no stopping me kid!

But that was the woman I loved, and thats who I wanted to be with and neither mom dukes nor super-man was gonna stop me!l

If u love your woman dont let nobody dissuade u, u heard? U aint planning to marry your moms, r u?

Dude, everyone can understand where you mom is coming from, but she was a bit out of line. She should have told you she was uncomfortable with the arrangement, and let you take action instead of chasing the girl out. In a lot of cases, parents won't let you have your freedom unless you demand it.

I suggest you have a talk with her and tell her you will prefer for her to have a conversation with you and let you take care of things instead of going to your house to do as she wishes. You are a man now and you can handle things yourself. You need to make a stand now otherwise there is no guarantee that she won't interfere in your marriage on other issues,

apocalypse:

@ Bawss1
Exactly my point , she doesn't live with me and she comes around like once in two months. She still stays with her parents and the only time we have together are times when she's about to school or when she comes back from school. [size=16pt]Fine her parents don't know she spends time with me[/size] but we need to spend time together as a couple.

Which kain yeye point Be warned, this ain't a case of "she is scared of what your Mum could do in future", the girl is being sneaky and crafty and is actually making you choose her unwittlingly over your Mum

[size=18pt] You both respect her own parent enough to hide the fact from them that she sleeps over at your place, yet you are giving her free rein to rub it all over your own Mother's face, shame on you She even had the audacity and the nerve to tell your Mum she had been there since Tuesday, arrant nonsense, insult upon insugar, nonsense and jagbajantis Why do I feel like giving you a knock on your head [/size]

Dude, learn to do your home work! No disrespect to your Mom but you most put her in her place. What she did was wrong, that girl is your girlfriend, somebody's sister and daughter and deserves some respect. Show your mother the boundary or get the hell out of the relationship for the interest of the girl. Blame yourself for the embarrassment.

I have been reading all d posts. Didn't want 2comment,but, i guess i should. First and foremost, people saying a girl shouldn't sleep over at her bf's place are jxt jokers. The boy is 33 and d girl is 24 for God's sake. They are nt kids. Both families are aware and aprove of d relatnship. Ok, in a long distant relationshp,wat do u do? Travel all d way from Abuja to Lag and come bak same day? How do u run d relationshp? Jxt over d phone till u get married? Na wa 4all these 'holier than thou' people sef. And poster, pls y was ur mum paying u a surprise visit? Now she got d surprise she wantd and she is takng it out on d poor girl. Another mistake u made was allowing both of dem sleep in d same house. Ur gf shuld have left till ur mum goes bak. My one cent.

@bettymafy
I'm totally with you on this and we share the same view(s).
I think my mum , altho with good intentions , stepped out of line.
All those castigating the poor girl have done worse or would do worse than her or me.
I should have handled my business better and told the girl to leave when mum arrived but
this is first time such would happen and I didn't expect my mum to act as such. I thought she would respect my own privacy in my own house.
No I can not stop my mum from coming over but I can plan for future occurence

Man, you r lucky the girl's folks did not take you to the police for kidnapping their daughter.

You want to turn someones daughter in a love-peddlers before you marry her? What is she doing in your place for a whole week? Thats what i keep saying all these girls who call themselves students are not actually studying, but going after men, which decent girl will be spending 3 to 7 days with a man that has not married her or even done engagement with her?

When will girls learns that as soon as a man enjoyed them regularly he loses taste in them and goes for another woman? Ladies hold yourselves together till after marriage stop giving this nation a bad name making it hard for serious and innocent ladies to find a husband

Your mum did the right thing abi no be so?

Not a big deal. I support your mum by 80%. However, ur mum should have discussed the issue with u and the two of u together with the girl could have reached some sort of resolution in order to have caused the girl any humiliation.

apocalypse:

@bettymafy
I'm totally with you on this and we share the same view(s).
I think my mum , altho with good intentions , stepped out of line.
All those castigating the poor girl have done worse or would do worse than her or me.
I should have handled my business better and told the girl to leave when mum arrived but
this is first time such would happen and I didn't expect my mum to act as such. I thought she would respect my own privacy in my own house.
No I can not stop my mum from coming over but I can plan for future occurence

Nobody is saying ur mum shuld nt visit u. Why shouldn't she? All am saying is give her a reason why she should inform u b4 coming, so as 2avoid wat jxt happend. Talk 2ur mum. Tell her u did nt like wat she did. She should have talkd 2u first,so dat u can handle d business. Dat way nobody wil b hurt. It is high ur mum knew where 2draw d line. U're a full grow man. If she is nt com4table with sometins u do, she should tell u, nt taking such a drastic action. Learn 2b a man. Put everybody in their places. And as 4ur girl, jxt apologize on ur mum's behalf. Let her knw ur mum did it out of luv 4both of u. Try 2bring back peace between she&ur mum.

Good for your mom. @OP your girl should have known to pack her things the second your mum pitched up. Yes we are of a new generation with much influence from the west, however most of us will agree that our african parents will not approve of such. Its one thing to know of such things as a parent but I am sure they dont want to see it.

I wonder which bed she slept in the night/s your mom was around. Out of respect for your mom she should have just left. Its only a matter of principle.

I also have a problem with the fact that she is now trying to put you on guilt trip about how she doesnt think she can carry on with things after the whole experiance.

Your mom was just asking you guys to do things the right way and she had no obligation to be nice about it.

Oh! I should mention, tell your mom to inform you in advance before she comes to your place next time. This is th eonly issue you have control over and entitled to in this matter, simple.

apocalypse:

@bettymafy
I'm totally with you on this and we share the same view(s).
I think my mum , altho with good intentions , stepped out of line.
All those castigating the poor girl have done worse or would do worse than her or me.
I should have handled my business better and told the girl to leave when mum arrived but
this is first time such would happen and I didn't expect my mum to act as such. I thought she would respect my own privacy in my own house.
No I can not stop my mum from coming over but I can plan for future occurence

Wait.
I dont know if u are intentionally dragging this issue 
Your mum came thursday night,she did not complain,she ignored u and the girl and turned a blind eye.
Friday morning,common guy,if that your babe was sensible,she need not be told to pick her things and clear out first.
Mama waited for sometime,this babe was still parading the flat in shorts.As a mother,a pastor for that matter,your mum called the girl(thinking and assuming the girl has some wisdom in her head) as a wud be DIL,gave her a good lecture and ofcourse with Bible quotations abt fornication and keeping the marriage bed undefiled and your babe saw that as an insult 
Did your mum throw away the girls stuff ?How does having a mother to daughter talk translate to throwing out things 
Your girl get issues ooh.
If it were to be her OWN mum that came to that flat and met her there,had that lecture with her wud she be harping on it like this?
Your mum i guess did not bother discussing this with u cos she believed there was no problem,she assumed her little tete-a-tete with her future  DIL was taken in good faith.
Your babe is on a guilt trip although its safe to conclude she get correction issues,haba.

na wa o. different people with different views, thank God for my own mother in law, she likes having me around and complains that i dont come to sleep over as often as i should though we are already engaged to be married in 6months, but before our engagement sef, she go think say i no wan do chores thats why i dont come over. but my mum is just like apocalypses mum, she once asked my younger brothers GF who only came to visit during the day that does her mum know she comes to see my bro in his house? what a question, na hotel dem suppose dey see, when she knew i spend weekends at my fiances place omo, she almost placed a curse on me o.

ifyalways:

Wait.
I dont know if u are intentionally dragging this issue 
Your mum came thursday night,she did not complain,she ignored u and the girl and turned a blind eye.
Friday morning,common guy,if that your babe was sensible,she need not be told to pick her things and clear out first.
Mama waited for sometime,this babe was still parading the flat in shorts.As a mother,a pastor for that matter,your mum called the girl(thinking and assuming the girl has some wisdom in her head) as a wud be DIL,gave her a good lecture and ofcourse with Bible quotations abt fornication and keeping the marriage bed undefiled and your babe saw that as an insult 
Did your mum throw away the girls stuff ?How does having a mother to daughter talk translate to throwing out things 
Your girl get issues ooh.
If it were to be her OWN mum that came to that flat and met her there,had that lecture with her wud she be harping on it like this?
Your mum i guess did not bother discussing this with u cos she believed there was no problem,she assumed her little tete-a-tete with her future  DIL was taken in good faith.
Your babe is on a guilt trip although its safe to conclude she get correction issues,haba.

U dont get it, do u? D mum did nt have a 'mum 2 daughter' talk with her. Mama practically 'chased' her out of d house. She drove her away. How is dat hard 2understand? And pls, wat stoppd d mum from discusing d issue wit her son b4 her went 2work. Abeg, if u see no gud, talk, make God no vex.

bettymafy:

U dont get it, do u? D mum did nt have a 'mum 2 daughter' talk with her. Mama practically 'chased' her out of d house. She drove her away. How is dat hard 2understand? And pls, wat stoppd d mum from discusing d issue wit her son b4 her went 2work. Abeg, if u see no gud, talk, make God no vex.

Bollocks!
Please read this:

I was surprised to receive a call from my girl Friday noon @ work that my mum told her to leave the house with her things & n[b]ot come stay over until we are legally married.[/b]

There's no doubt mama's ACTION was wrong but poster should be able to extract the MESSAGE from her action.
I strongly doubt the fact that mama did not have a conversation with her. Infact, a part of me thinks the girl in question was probably too comfortable at home with mama around.

Threadstarter . . . .
make you bone matter. bone to bone
If i hear say you rake for mumsy or give her time table (especially now wey you never marry) me and you go duke am out.

The thing now is she now has doubts about the whole thing & she won't step into my place again cos of the humiliation she received.

With comments like the above, that girl is trying to mark her territory (which is not a problem) but not when mama is involved.

@ ifyalways
Reread my posts very well , my mum practically drove her out and not in the nicest of ways. My girl isn't miffed at being told to go home but at her domineering attitude. I also think she's seeing me , as someone pointed out , as a mommas boy. I hope you see what she's getting at. My girl only called me to inform me that she had left the house because mom was not happy she was staying over but not to confront her. I got to hear about what happened in detail from my next door neighbour ( if my next door neighbour got wind of it , imagine what would have transpired ). My mum can be mean when correcting people , I just wouldn't want to go into detail of all she said and did on a public forum. Imagine if my mum can pull my ears in public at my age for a minor offence , what she'd do or say to her. Is it so hard to comprehend without going into detail.

It really depends on Mum's intentions. She could be right u know.
Seek mum's intentions, I want to believe she is trying to protect her female wards.

@ omo ibo
I'd never tell my mum not to come over.
If she wasn't humiliated I wouldn't say so. For a girl to vow not to come to her guys place until, shows how much she was hurt. My mum can be very mean which has made us ( me and my brother ) somewhat meek and mild.
I'd like to point out tho that she can be very caring as well.

[color=#770077][/color]

@Apocalypses,

1) It is very wrong of ur gf to have stayed the night with your Mom in the same house (I WOULDN'T DO DAT AS A SINGLE LADY), at least, if ur gf is not wise enough, you as a 33year-old, well-brought up man should

2) Thank goodness, u realised your folly soon enough, your previous posts showed u had already begun to resent your Mom

3) If you still think your Mom had no right, considering your "grown status", I will suggest you also ask her to stop praying for you because you are old enough to start praying for yourself (OR HAVE U NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOUR MOM'S PRAYERS HAVE ACTUALLY BROUGH YOU THIS FAR IN LIFE?)

@all, pls u don't have to render oral assistance to a grown man, HE DOESN'T NEED IT, AFTERALL HE'S GROWN!!!

apocalypse:

@ ifyalways
Reread my posts very well , my mum practically drove her out and not in the nicest of ways. My girl isn't miffed at being told to go home but at her domineering attitude. I also think she's seeing me , as someone pointed out , as a mommas boy. I hope you see what she's getting at. My girl only called me to inform me that she had left the house because mom was not happy she was staying over but not to confront her. I got to hear about what happened in detail from my next door neighbour ( if my next door neighbour got wind of it , imagine what would have transpired ). My mum can be mean when correcting people , I just wouldn't want to go into detail of all she said and did on a public forum. Imagine if my mum can pull my ears in public at my age for a minor offence , what she'd do or say to her. Is it so hard to comprehend without going into detail.

^^^^^I personaly heared you the first time. Your girl should have left from the onset. Even better, you should have asked her to leave since you are the one who understands your mother too well. This you could have avoided. For starters you didnt even tell us why your mother pitched up in the first place and how long she inteded to stay. This tells us you didnt know much about your mom sudden visit to make any judgements still. So a logical thing to do was to send the girl home and then have a discussion with your mother about what brings her to your place without prior notice and how she needs to respect your privacy in the future, simple.

@Poster

Did your gf tell her parents what transpired btw your mum and herself? If she hasn't then tell her to keep shush.She has no right accusing your mum of chasing her out especially whenher mum knows nothing about it.

Why is she not telling her mum she spends a couple of days with you? what is she scared of?Will she spend the night in that house if her mum got wind of the whole thing and barged into your apartment?

Abegii make i hiaa word. Nansense. Why haven't you even married her? 33 yrs is not a young age.

Infact do me a favour: tel your mum to stop coming to your house and to mind her business, tell your gf to chase your mum away when next she visits. Simple

Abeg lets move on to another thread