I don't really understand the kind of children some of our parents are raising now. The kind of children some of us grew up to become. Most parents are busy doing one thing or the other that they don't really have time to groom their children the way they should be groomed. In this 21st Century, we have some parents who still stick to putting more concern to the training of the girl child leaving the boy child to get lost in the shadow of their agonies. Gender has divided more of our values. The difference in gender has done a lot in the upbringing of our children thereby leaving many things unattended in the lives of our girls and boys. But why do we have to go to this far?


I want to raise humans, not genders; not a Boy or a girl but humans without boundaries. People that understand their race and where they come from and why they are who they are. I want to raise children that can stand for what they are and not what the society want them to be. I want to raise children that can stand for themselves not minding whether they are boys or girls but stand to help each other grow in body, soul and spirit, mental, emotionally and Academically. The way things are these days, in 50 years to come we may end up having a divided human race. Women longing to go on their own, men longing to be on their own path. A world cupped with the fight to be equal. And equity is far from what the lips of those seeking for it could read. I want to raise children that would be in charge of their lives as humans.


However, there is no child that is bad or better than the other. So therefore, society should not place more value on one leaving the other to perish under his skin because of what the society has stereotyped. What the society says should not be a determining factor to punish a gender or abandon a gender to take care of itself. Patriarchy may tell us that men are the head of the family does not make them super men that feels no pains or hurts. Same with women, none should be seen as a weaker vessel. None should be denied the right to be himself or herself regardless of the gender.


We should in our ways try to train our children, biological or not, to be more interested in being humans, rather than being male or female. Rather than making them see difference in their genders. A girl should be able to earn the same salary with a boy. A girl should be able to get the same work a boy gets. A girl should be able to play with a boy without feeling guilty that she did that. A boy should be taught how to cover up his unclothedness also. The two; a boy and a girl should be held responsible whenever things go wrong in the family. An accusing finger should not be pointed towards one person in particular. Raise a boy the way you intend raising a girl although there might be little differences in their raising but the both should be taught morals in the same degree of understanding and acknowledgement. Encourage him/her to lift up others around him/her and never tear anyone down. Nurture empathy in your child.

Surely, the only thing I see around the world are humans, not genders, race, and beliefs, colours, religion or any a things that divide us as humans. There are no conformity to the principles of training a child the way he or she should grow. What we call our goat is what it definitely becomes to us and to those people around us even to the world. Perhaps, you have called that girl or that boy a goat that you can't handle because he is a boy or she is a girl, remember that is what the world would end up calling him or her. Emotional intelligence and empathy, or the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes and consider their feelings and thoughts, is one of the most fundamental traits in good people. Studies have shown that having a high emotional quotient -- that is, being able to understand one's own feelings and the feelings of others and having self-control and being able to control one's own emotions -- is an important component of success in life. To encourage empathy in your child, encourage your child to talk about her feelings and make sure that she knows that you care about them. When a conflict occurs with a friend, ask her to imagine how her friend might be feeling and show her ways of managing her emotions and work positively toward a resolution.


I understand that we all have to be human at some point in our lives and It is human to understand that one has to be responsible for something even not for anything his or her life and dreams. However, the possibilities of us learning to groom our children to understand themselves is key. It is very key to let them know what they stand for as a girl or a boy. Teach them what sex education is, teach them to say no to those things that will not favour or bring goodness to them. Show them the way to be human not gender. Teach them how men advances on little children and how women abuse little children too. Teach them the reason why a sex offender should be brought to book immediately. Teach them that whosoever that touches them anyhow should be reported. Meanwhile, don't forget to teach them that their body is their own and nobody's else.


A girl should understand what it means to be selfless and a boy should understand the same thing too. That is being humanity. However, don't forget that you are first a human before you became any other thing in life. And this you must make known to your children and not to only girl or to just the boy in the house. Teach them both how to be humans; a fearless human,a conscious human, and a conservative human being.


I don't want to raise Roberts as children. I don't want to raise discriminants as children. I don't want to divide humanity just like some of us have done. Therefore, in order not to fit into all these insignificant things like genders, races, and religious beliefs learn to tame your children from a tender age before they grow into lions and lionesses that you can't control anymore. Life is in phases as men are in sizes.




There should be a definition to what you are raising in the society. Don't just train a boy because he is a boy. Don't just train a girl because she is a girl. Teach the both genders the principles of coexistence. Don't abandon one for another. Teach them the morals and values and why they should live and exist together as one no matter what is at stake because injury to one gender is injury to all.
I wont fail to teach them the aspect of being human which includes and not limited to selflessness, empathy, making sacrifices, forgiving, giving and showing love to one another at every giving point. I won't teach them what to think or how to think. I will allow them the free will to explore from what they have within. I'll only stand as a guided guidance. I want to raise humans, not genders.




© John Chizoba Vincent
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