We have been together for almost two years now. In the course of our relationship she has proven to be very virtuous, faithful and true to the relationship. Though i met her while she was in her final year in school and i was working, she encouraged me not to sit in my comfort zone.

With her prompting and sheer grit, i sought for and got a study leave to proceed for my masters at the University which was quite expensive. Though i sponsored myself with my savings and goodwill, she supported me through and through in her own way. Not only this, she never wavered all through this time and practically committed all of her to me and my cause., my dreams and aspirations.

In the course of all of this, i introduced her to my mom who welcomed her at first. It however became another issue when i told my mom i intend marrying her immediately after my programme. Few days after informing her, she called me and told me i should forget it that the lady is not my wife. She based her decision on some "prayers" she had and spiritual inquiries she made which she has refused to give me details. I have tried all i could including pleading with her all to no avail.

Personally, i am a christian and i believe in the efficacy of prayers so i told her whatever she was told could be taken care of with prayers but she was and still is resolute!

At a point owing to some misdemeanors on my lady's path ( not infidelity) and the constant pressure from home to look elsewhere,i almost got involved with a colleague but i soon called it off since i want to remain true to my promises to my fiancee. I in fact told this my colleague my reasons.

Now, i am done with my programme and i really want to settle down. I have come to love this lady in spite of our mutual failings and misunderstandings. I am convinced she is a great lady (okay, she has her little woman's attitude) and seriously complement me.

I have made this known to my mom and she once again has bluntly refused. I love my mom and i really would want her to love this young lady like her own daughter. She even went to the extent of sending the lady a text to leave me alone and never look forward to her as a mother in law,

My fiancee to the best of my knowledge wants my family and said she will do all in her capacity to make peace, i really don't want to lose her,

Please help here,

realy? To fall in love with your fiancee? You ok? LOL.

@ poster

You said you are a christian, then you should know that the only two people that need to love your wife is you and God. Your mother is NOT your God. Only God can choose the best woman for you.

That being said, sometimes what we WANT might not be what we NEED! A good relationship does not always translate to a good marriage. Your fiancee might be a wonderful person but not for you! Your destinies might not lie with each other.

That's why you need to go down on your knees and ask God what he thinks. Good luck!

LouisThoru:

realy? To fall in love with your fiancee? You ok? LOL.

I am okay, thanks, maybe i should have said "accept" right? Thanks, but i am okay, once again thank you.

Ujujoan:

@ poster

You said you are a christian, then you should know that the only two people that need to love your wife is you and God. Your mother is NOT your God. Only God can choose the best woman for you.

That being said, sometimes what we WANT might not be what we NEED! A good relationship does not always translate to a good marriage. Your fiancee might be a wonderful person but not for you! Your destinies might not lie with each other.

That's why you need to go down on your knees and ask God what he thinks. Good luck!

Ujujoan

Thats deep, I appreciate

@shegzy
Segun it is right , well , speaking from a non religious/non spiritual angle , I think you guys know what you want and I believe you guys should do what best suits you. If you guys are comfortable with one another then move on to the next step regardless of whatever vision/revelation/dream your mum saw

really should your mum be the only one praying to God about your wife as much as i discourage disobedience to parents when it comes to marriage.I have also seen parents mislead their kids.Is your mum the only one with access to God.pls get on your knees and pray hard for revelation.open your eyes and ears God hardly shouts,

@ Poster,

Me think u should try ur best to retrieve those details from ur mum. i will prefer to start from there

e-Shegz:


In the course of all of this, i introduced her to my mom who welcomed her at first. It however became another issue when i told my mom i intend marrying her immediately after my programme. Few days after informing her, she called me and told me i should forget it that the lady is not my wife. She based her decision on some "prayers" she had and spiritual inquiries she made which she has refused to give me details.

sometimes, its good to take such ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' seriously.

why not insist that she tells you what was revealed to her

funkybaby:

sometimes, its good to take such ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' seriously.

why not insist that she tells you what was revealed to her

Yes, You must INSIST! She shouldn't keep such 'SERIOUS' revelations from you!

Hmmm, ure one of these nwa mama's type, abi?

[b]FOR NOW, IF YOU LOVE THIS LADY AND WANTS HER, I HAVE AN ADVISE FOR YOU. FIRST DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR MOM. THIS IS SPIRITUAL. WHO KNOWS THE KIND OF END TIME PROPHET SHE MET. LISTEN TAKE YOUR LADY AND GO TO THE SCOAN (SYNAGOGUE OF ALL NATIONS) IF YOU REALY WANT GOD TO CEMENT THIS RELATIONSHIP. THEY WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH AND GET YOUR MOTHER OVER THEMSELVES. THERE ARE LOTS OF FAKE PROPHETS OUT THERE. SINCE YOUR MOM REFUSED TO TELL YOU, DO NOT PREASURE HER. TAKE THE STEPS I AM TELLING YOU. PROPHET T.B JOSHUA WILL NOT ASK YOU TO WORSHIP WITHE THEM. YOU CAN GO THERE AND STILL COME BACK TO WORSHIP IN YOUR OWN CHURCH.

YOU CAN CHECK PEOPLE WHO HAS MYTV AND CHECK EMMANUEL TV, OR YOU CAN BUY THE MYTV CABLE AND WATCH THE MAN OF GOD. THE CHURCH IS NOT MY CHURCH, BUT I HAVE SEEN WHAT GOD IS USING HIM TO DO. YOU CAN SEE PEOPLE WHO WERE CALLED ALL SORTS OR NAMES ONLY FOR GOD TO REVEAL THE TRUTH. TAKE BOLD STEPS BECOUSE FROM YOUR WRITE UP, THAT LADY IS YOUR WIFE 'COS HER ENCOURAGEMENT  TO HAVE YOU SEEK FOR BRIGHTER FUTURE CAN ONLY BE DONE BY SOMEONE WHO TRUELY LOVES YOU. DO NOT THROW HER OUT BECAUSE GOD WILL ASK YOU QUESTIONS AND NOTE, THAT YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT BE SLEEPING WITH YOU AND ANY WOMAN YOU MARRIES IN THE FUTURE. ONLY YOU WILL CARRY YOUR CROSS. DEVIL WILL NOT ALLOW 2 GOOD PEOPLE TO COME TOGETHER. I BELEIVE BOTH OF YOU WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. SO DO WHAT I HAVE ASKED YOU. ONLY THE FACE OF GOD WILL SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP[/b]

Whateva it is that a pastor or whoever told ur mum could happen only on one condition.If you want it to happen!From my little experience I have discovered that what those "pastors" say most times could be true BUT, it has to mix with FAITH(Negative or Positive) for it to manifest.

Having said all that, If that is the only reason your mum does not want you to marry your fiancee (cos I belive Parents opinion on any issue shouldn't be totally disregarded); Then, all u need do is to have Positive faith to nullify whatever negative thing that might have been said.Trust me, it works.I wish you the best.

Imagine If Wright brothers seriously believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these, Airplanes would not have been buit
Imagine if Neil Armstrong seriously believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these; Man would not have landed on the moon
Imagine if our founding fathers believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these, Nigeria would not have become.

I love my parents, but sometimes, they dont get it right. I'm always arguing with my mom on need to go and see a doctor even when she's not sick, she feels that it's OK to go months without seeing a doctor. She will drink holy water before Panadol. I would not believe her if she told me that she got a revelation in dreams that she would be OK without seeing a doctor.

when i read stuff like this, i'm grateful for my parents. Wow!

My brother, if you find love in your fiancee, please move on regardless of what anybody says. Let me tell you the truth. your mom has lived her life and you have yours to live too. Your mom just probably want you to marry a dummy whom she can bully whenever she comes visiting. Of course you are going to live with your wife and not your mom neither is your wife going to live with your mom.
Having said this, am not again parents interfaring with there children's marriage plans but there is a limit to everything. A man should know when to draw the line by knowing the advice to take and the one to reject.
Lastly, why is it that it is only mothers that's always generating issues like this in marriage? -because they still want be in control of the man and is family life ever after marriage. this is jealousy. Please let them leave the women to their husbands because it their choice.

@ poster,aint u man enuf, Go on ur knees n ask 4 gods directives, Naa wetin u take ur mouth ask god,naa dos tin em dey du, All dis prophetic words suumtime,i no tu dey bliv dem, Ow can a man of god b speakin in different voice,dis go talk,anoda one go talk anoda tin, Sumtimez i dey wonda say,ow mani god we get? I rmemba wen my elda broda wan marry,mumzy talk say she go pray,one pastor said dey r gud,anoda 3 pastors said dey aint gud 4 each oda.

Now thks 2 baba god,dey got married n dere relationship is blessed wiv 3kids,gud job n a beautiful home, La8r mumzy no fit talk. 2 me sha,dnt disrespect mumzy oooo,she no's beta dan u du. Al u nid du as a man,is go on ur knees,n ask 4 gods intervention.

what revelations did she get? what's the point of bringing it up if she refuses to tell you about it.

bawomolo:

what revelations did she get? what's the point of bringing it up if she refuses to tell you about it.

Exactly! Makes no sense.

adconline:

Imagine If Wright brothers seriously believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these, Airplanes would not have been buit
Imagine if Neil Armstrong seriously believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these; Man would not have landed on the moon
Imagine if our founding fathers believed in ''prayers'' and ''revelations'' like these, Nigeria would not have become

@poster, you should really find a way to get the so-called revelation out of her. Or tell her you'll go ahead with the marriage if she doesn't tell you 'cause really, it makes no sense to tell someone not to do something without explaining why. That method is only used with kids - "Because I said so!". You're obviously not a kid and should not be treated like one.

Lastly, one thing I'll always say about marriage and parents' opinion is to ask yourself one question: are you the one who'll spend the rest of your life with that person or will your parents? YOU! So, if you feel the person is right for you, that's all that really matters(yea, it's not that simple) although it's nice to have parents' acceptance but if not, it's still your marriage, they've lived theirs so whatever problems you encounter in the marriage is your OWN burden not your parents'.

Make her pregnant, your mum will have no choice but to accept her,mothers love their grand kids alot

Young man,your mum has lived her life & now you need to live yours.She can't live hers & live yours for you.I say proceed with the marriage plans!Whatever your mum has dreamt can still be countered by the same prayers.Or are prayers her exclusive preserve?
Tell your mum you're going ahead with the marriage irrespective of who's ox is gored (albeit politely).Keep insisting o,never back down.There's no such thing as the 'perfect woman'.If you leave this one for another,you might remain unhappy for the rest of your life.I'd hate to say i told you so.

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andromida:

really should your mum be the only one praying to God about your wife as much as i discourage disobedience to parents when it comes to marriage.I have also seen parents mislead their kids.Is your mum the only one with access to God.pls get on your knees and pray hard for revelation.open your eyes and ears God hardly shouts,

spot on.

@poster, as a believer, none of us knows what the next 20 years would be like except God. Its good to know that you have seen qualities that you admire in her. However, since your praying mama doesn't seem to like the idea from her 'spiritual finds', then you should get on your knees and talk to your God whom you have direct access to.

When parents differ from their childrens as rgds marriage partners, whether honestly or selfishly, it simply points to the need for prayers as well as slowing down the pace. No rush. If anyone loves you they can wait.

Can I pray with you?

"Father, behold your child who needs your assistance. He needs your direction and wisdom as regards his choice of a partner and the reservations of his mum. Father, You have seen the end from the beginning and you know what's best for both of them. Please show them the way they should go in Jesus' name. Amen"

Best of favour.

I want you to know that parents see more than we do. I dont knw what the lady might have done wrong to make ur mother to say that she had a revelation that she is not right for you.
U r a prophet urself.Go to God inprayers and He will surely direct you.If u have ur pastor as well, go to him, dont give him te gist.Just tell him to pray for u concerning a girl u intend to maary.Dont give him the clue of whatever ur mum has said.Confirm from like 2-3 pastor and the girl shld try to pray as well.
I have a friend that her mother didnt want her to marry ds Ibo boy so she came wit the idea of "prophet said no way" but the girl married this guy despite the warning.
Today they are happpy with their 2 kids and the mum comes to spend quality time with them.
You can beg ur mmother to tell u whatever she has seen.But if she doesnt have anything to see it simply means she doesnt just like the girl.SIMPLE

Pray about it and get her pregnant , the case will be closed

Whether we like it or not, our parents have important roles to play in our marriage, atimes they might be unreasonable but its not for us to decide. i'm sure your mum told you the exact reason she doesnt think you two are compartible but maybe you dont wanna share here, tis alright. Rememeber the adage that says, "what the elders see while lying down, the young ones would not see even if they climb to the top of a mountain". Have a family meeting with your mother and an elder in your family and if she insists, bro, dont make your mother your enemy,

My candid advice to you my brother is for you to go on your knees and ask God for a sign to confirm if you can live together with this woman and if that sign is given positively, you can then go ahead with marriage rites but remember to convice your mother.

I am impressed with previous posts encouraging you to pray to God.Remember, you are the first prophet of your life. However, do not ignore danger signals:

Are you sure u are not simply being grateful to this lady for pivoting ur career path and for 'being there'? Some special friends do so and may not necessarily fit into our 'life-time' destiny of marriage.

Are you sure you are not being oversentimental about your mother's opinion? Don't miss the best,be firm when necessary,u can't make your mom like her,love grows with time. If your spouse loves u,she will respect your mom; if your mom truly loves you,she will accept what makes u happy and rather pray for you.

My only sister is about getting maried and there were negative prophetic revelations about her fiance.The entire family is praying for her and also encouraging her. With good communication some of the issues are being addressed between the two love birds and all we can do is stand aloof,pray and prepare for their forthcoming wedding that will no doubt lead to a BLISSFUL marriage.

Only prayer can answer your doubts.I also just whispered a word of prayer on your behalf now.You won't miss your life-partner by God's grace.

who are we to say who is right for who,  parents get it wrong too you know, you dont need to waste ur time trying to pry anything out of ur mom, counter whatever it is with prayer .
GO FORTH AND BE HAPPY I BEG, HAPPY MARRIED LIFE IN ADVANCE!!!

I love my parents but dude, no one would have dared stand in my way when i wanted to get married o! I think issues such as (your) maturity come into play here. Depending on how old you are, why will your mom want to dictate to you who you should and should not marry? Besides, did you only just 'move out of the house' that she feels that she still has a hold over you? How close are you to your mom? Are you one of those types who cannot make a decision without consulting her? Look bro, it gets to a stage where a guy severs the umbilical cord he has with his mother (especially the mother). OK another scenario - even if your mom accepts the girl now, what stops her from coming into your matrimonial home to dictate what your wife should do and should not do - eventually making life difficult for her?

E get as you go present the girl to your parents that they will know that you are not joking o!

As much as i believe in prayers and their efficacy, i dont buy that stuff that someone else should receive a revelation of MY OWN LIFE. If God wants to talk to me, He will talk to me. Gone are the days where he sends one prophet to tell someone else about a judgement on his life.

@ Poster,

Sometime last year, I was in your shoes. My mum went to pray about my partner then and she came with negative reports. Before then, I had a dream that I didn't bother to seek meaning to because I was in love and because I reasoned that my dreams hardly come true. To cut the story short, my mum's stance prevailed after several family meetings and personal prayers that I did with some of my friends who are prayer warriors. My mum was right! But before I yielded to her stance, we didn't talk to each other for months. It was that bad.

Today, I am glad that I listened to her advice. I am in a new relationship that will lead to marriage in a few weeks from now and guess what? My mum is all for it. She loves my new fiancee like her own daughter and the irony of it again is that she is not from my tribe and we'll be travelling miles for the wedding. Something my family will never do before. When I met this new lady, everything, I mean everything fell into place. I am experiencing the difference between this and the former. This is my own story.

My advice: In my own case, your mum must tell you what the issues are (if she really mean well for you) like my mum told me in clear terms. Then, go to God in prayers. Get some fervent brothers/pastors to pray with you. You will find out if your mum's reasons are genuine or not. Now let me warn you, do not be tempted to assume that you can pray through the unpleasant reports (if thats what it turns out to be). My brother, learn from the story of King Saul in the Bible. It is best to obey than offer sacrifices or pray about situations that you can avoid.

Please do not disregard your mum's advice. Get her to speak in plain terms and pray on your own.

Good luck!

@poster

Take revelations seriously, i once wanted to kill myself when my mum said i cant marry my ex-g/f on grounds of not the best for me, the lady was the best thing i had ever seen,read about and experienced all my life. I was adamant and infact i almost eloped with her to another state and secretly marry her but THANK GOD i listened. But here are the steps you must take :

1. [/b]If you're spiritual and u know God speaks to you, then pray and fast and lets see what God would reveal himself, if you're not that spiritual, locate very strong CAC or Mountain of fire churches where you can inquire from. Take 4 churches at random and take your case to God there. Since God is one and if these churches worship the true God, the revelations in each of them would be the same.

[b]2. Tell your mum, you're even tired of the lady and you're so confused now cos you find it so hard to know where to start from or even imagine yourself toasting another lady when you're not even sure she'll turn out to be the one God chooses for you, hence ask her if she can help, ask her if she know any lady that can fill in the shoes of your fiancee. If she obliges and recommend a lady to you, then she has her secret motive of match-making you. But if she doesn't have anyone at all but insists that she'll join you in prayer for you to find another lady,then she might be right with her claims.

3. [/b]If your revelations in the churches says she's not yours, then stylishly insist your fiancee visits 2 true churches of her choice to ascertain if you're meant for each other.Tell her you need her to do this cos you want to finally decide on taking a crucial step towards the marriage.I'm sure it would be revealed to her also that you're not meant for each other.Then she would not feel cheated or keep any malice if you back off.

Then ask God to direct your next step.

[b]GOOD LUCK my brother.

We have been together for almost two years now. In the course of our relationship she has proven to be very virtuous, faithful and true to the relationship. Though i met her while she was in her final year in school and i was working, she encouraged me not to sit in my comfort zone.

With her prompting and sheer grit, i sought for and got a study leave to proceed for my masters at the University which was quite expensive. Though i sponsored myself with my savings and goodwill, she supported me through and through in her own way. Not only this, she never wavered all through this time and practically committed all of her to me and my cause., my dreams and aspirations.

In the course of all of this, i introduced her to my mom who welcomed her at first. It however became another issue when i told my mom i intend marrying her immediately after my programme. Few days after informing her, she called me and told me i should forget it that the lady is not my wife. She based her decision on some "prayers" she had and spiritual inquiries she made which she has refused to give me details. I have tried all i could including pleading with her all to no avail.

Personally, i am a christian and i believe in the efficacy of prayers so i told her whatever she was told could be taken care of with prayers but she was and still is resolute!

At a point owing to some misdemeanors on my lady's path ( not infidelity) and the constant pressure from home to look elsewhere,i almost got involved with a colleague but i soon called it off since i want to remain true to my promises to my fiancee. I in fact told this my colleague my reasons.

Now, i am done with my programme and i really want to settle down. I have come to love this lady in spite of our mutual failings and misunderstandings. I am convinced she is a great lady (okay, she has her little woman's attitude) and seriously complement me.

I have made this known to my mom and she once again has bluntly refused. I love my mom and i really would want her to love this young lady like her own daughter. She even went to the extent of sending the lady a text to leave me alone and never look forward to her as a mother in law,

My fiancee  to the best of my knowledge wants my family and said she will do all in her capacity to make peace, i really don't want to lose her,

Please help here,

frankly your mum has proved to be smarter than you. truth is, she doesn't like the girl. she just gave it a nod abinitio thinking its one of those guys things but when she saw things were different she re strategized.
she knows you are religious and she is scoping you with what you believe in. she already has a candidate she wants you to marry.

try this, tell her you have broken up with the girl and don't mention any word of her to your Mom, then tell her you cant find any other person that she should help i can bet that in less than a week she must call you to meet someone.

this religious cage is really setting us back.
what a lot of people don't know is that our mothers are still human beings and they feel whatever every human being feels. I have a friend back in the days that his Mom tells him she loves him more than their Dad being an only child, yes, seriously. there is no place her mom doesn't take him to, salon,women fellowship just name it.
Everybody likes him because he is very funny and generous. so on his 18th birthday the Mum bought him a car, so the car became his biggest treasure, then in college, only a few people have ride so the guy no dey take the ride play.
conversely, he stays less at home and has many friends the mum became worried and gave all of us visiting time table. her only fear was loosing her baby handbag that makes her happy.
She knew she cant sway him with food or anything so what she does is just to comeback in the afternoon and tell my man that armed robbers snatched someone's car in town. My man will just park for a month and so the lies continued and the Mum became happy. funny enough the woman will tell him it is a blue cressida to match his spec.lol
The guy is married twice now and still single. the last i saw him i didn't want to ask what happened cos i already know that no reasonable woman will condone his mum's excesses.

Do you ever wonder why pastors like chris okotie still have church members after seeing vision where he is sleeping in Aso rock as painted by his God? is it not the same Kwashiokor eye he is using to see vision for his church members? Is he now saying that as a professional man of God, he cant even interpret visions.
Your fiance has built a world around you so in all fairness go ahead and marry her. i am not saying you owe anybody but even the bible you believe in tells you that she has sown in your life so do not let your Mum's paranoia take away her Harvest.
your Mum simply didn't go into detail because there is none, whatever she says eventually is a fabricated fallacy. Guy woman

FOUR THINGS THAT WILL DESTROY NIGERIA

Religion
Tribalism
culture
corruption.

Whether we like it or not, our parents have important roles to play in our marriage, atimes they might be unreasonable but its not for us to decide. i'm sure your mum told you the exact reason she doesn't think you two are compartible but maybe you dont wanna share here, tis alright. Rememeber the adage that says, "what the elders see while lying down, the young ones would not see even if they climb to the top of a mountain". Have a family meeting with your mother and an elder in your family and if she insists, bro, dont make your mother your enemy,

They don't see shi*t.

A Good mother will bring you up to make good choices and once you make those choices,they embrace it and remain proud of you. She doesn't need to see your end of semester result because she ensures that you study hard at home, she doesn't need to babysit you rather she brings you up to do things for yourself.
I guess you forgot the adage that says that a person that tours knows more than the person with gray hair.

If your mother has spent 72yrs of her life in the village, go and ask her for investment advise make she tell you to plant plantain,cultivate coco yam harvest in the Rainy season from a professional point of view.

BTW, the women our men address as bad wives, don't they turn out to be mothers?