The Effects of Growing Up Without a Dad
1. More Likely to be Aggressive
2. More Likely to Be Depressed
3. More Likely to Have Low Self-Esteem
4. More Likely to Do Poorly in Schools
5. More Likely to Be Incarcerated and to Commit Suicide
6. More Likely to Use Drugs
1. More Likely Likely to Be Aggressive
Psychological studies show that children growing up without fathers are more likely to be aggressive and quick to anger. I've always had a copious amount of anger—not just loud anger, but quiet anger, as well. For me personally, quiet anger is more insidious and volatile. Silent anger doesn't have a proper release valve, it just builds up like a growing monster, maturing right along with you. I've spent nearly all my life containing myself because I know it isn't particularly productive or acceptable to be outwardly angry.
Anger makes you think and act with stupidity, and that's just a bad way to release energy. Additionally, I have a greater chance of passing on my aggression to my children. Now I am forced to consider this if I ever decide to have a family. Do I really want to have children that are aggressive and prone to anger? Would I be doing the planet a favor by just letting it end with me? We all want to think or believe that we are in full control of our actions and goals—but are we really?


owlcitation

Did You Know?
Girls are are twice as likely to experience obesity and four times more likely to get pregnant as a teenager when their father isn’t present.

Debunking Myths on Fatherlessness
The fatherless label is often simplified. Lots of variables and scenarios come into play when statistics are compiled. A feeling of helplessness can overwhelm us if we automatically react to every stat that we see. It is our duty to protect our own overall well-being from outdated or misleading studies by doing our due diligence. It is important to keep in mind that there are plenty of factors a statistic may not account for before we succumb to a victim mentality. With that being said there are many misconceptions associated with the issue of fatherless households:
1. Children in Fatherless Homes Have Fared Poorly Over the Past Three Decades
A collaborative report from different federal agencies have found that many indicators of a child’s well-being have increased while others have decreased. Youth are less likely to smoke, die, or be victimized while they have made fewer strides with variables that predict economic prosperity.
2. Research on Single Mother Households Proves That Fatherlessness Harms Children
Children’s perceptions of the relationship they have with both parents has a more direct influence on they psychological well-being than having then does physical presence (or absence) of their father.
3. Children Fare Worse in Fatherless Homes
On average, the differences in well-being between children from intact family homes and those from divorced homes tend to be small on average. The stress levels and psychological states of the parents are more powerful influences than income and if two parents are in the home.

How to Cope With Growing up Without a Father
There are many constructive ways to deal with the pain of growing up in a fatherless household. The measures are not always easy, but anyone committed to their own well-being can conquer the odds up against them. Dr. Mark Borg Jr. also had this to say on coping, "[i]t is important to express feelings rather than act them out. Self-sufficiency in relationships is a way of acting out old, unprocessed feelings about growing up fatherless or, growing up in a family where it felt like the care was not adequate. The problem is that it is so unsafe to grow up with inadequate care (whether fatherless or not) that most people push this out of their awareness and it does get acted out behaviorally (rather than processed consciously). The way to deal with this (adverse affect) is to--one relationship at a time--find and or create safe relationships to allow oneself to express the emotions and needs unmet in childhood."
Other effective measures of dealing with fatherlessness include:
Counseling and support groups are effective means for learning about ourselves and our own needs. These mediums assist us in interpreting the past in order to help us to perceive our future as brighter.
Identifying role models and mentoring programs in the community that display moral ethics and ambition to influence children that grew up in fatherless households in a positive way.
Acknowledging your anger and hurt feelings. It is never a good idea to rage quietly while putting up a front to the world. Be honest with yourself. Communicate your feelings from the heart rather than just expressing them. The key is to allow yourself the chance for growth.
Forgiving anyone who has caused us harm takes a lot of grit. Doing it for closure can provide a much needed release and can potentially heal old wounds.
Important Lessons My Father Taught Me
Through his absence, my father taught me that life isn't fair. There are no guarantees that we will attain anything, achieve anything, or be loved by anyone. No matter what predispositions we are born with, or what psychological effects may be associated with our childhood experiences, we are the ultimate forgers of our destiny. I have to believe I can overcome the disadvantages of growing up without a father. I have to believe that I can still determine my future.

My dad died in a car accident when My mom was just 18 already two little girls one 2 and 1 , and me two weeks in moms tummy, well I am 55 now, and I concure , life has been very hard for me, nothing has ever been easy or went smooth, nothing, my greates accomplishments are my children the one part of my life I feel like I did something right. even now though I still feel like I am letting my family down , oh I am a hard worker and own my own business , I have worked hard and also bought a home, but I have never been able to accumulate more or give more to my family , my son had too pay for his complete education, I had no money, I feel inadequate in many ways , I am struggling with life, I just seem to screw up everything I try to do, my marriage is fairly solid right now although my wife left me for a better life a few years back and we got back together because we truly do love each other, but it all plays a role in a life that has been messed up because there was no father in the picture, everyday of my life is a huge battle between good and evil and that keeps me on this side .



owlcitation........

ERA
2 days ago
My father died when I was 8 , although he' d never been a real "father ", since he was half -incapacitated due to a serious accident and health problems .
My mother was a semiliterate, life - beaten woman who did her best to raise me, and I ' m grateful I had at least that . But, I can say that growing up as a boy without a fatherly figure was really hard, and caused some issues that I ' d only become aware of as an adult .
I never had a manly figure to teach me the "manly stuff ", like sports, girls , sex . I know some mothers do that , but mine just didn ' t.
My mother did what she could , but she' d had a terrible upbringing with a violent father and a negligent mother, so she didn ' t know exactly how to be a supportive parent . She rarely asked me about school , my thoughts and feelings, or anything at all. She knew so little about me that sometimes I felt like a stranger in my own home.
As an adult, I think that what really impacted me wasn ' t just the fatherless upbringing , but also the fatc that my mother wasn ' t really a supportive parent . She loved me and worked hard to keep me alive ( although we had a very humble life, with just the very basics ) , but as for preparing me for life , she did a very poor job , which was expected because of her terrible upbringing , with a violent father and careless mother.
My older brother and sister didn ' t turn out too well either . My brother has depression, anger issues and has become an alcoholic, and left his family to " be happy" , which is living like a teenager in his mother' s house , making terrible choices for girlfriends and wasting money like there' s no tomorrow . His older son had a son with his girlfriend, and now they live together , and sometimes we hear stories of his violence agaisnt her ( he broke her arm a while ago ). My brother' s younger son is an alcoholic- in-training : he' s only 17 and drinks pretty much every night , specially on the weekends. My sister also has depression, has huge anger issues and believes that the only good people in the world are her husband , her daughter, her son and herself . Her daughter is a copy of her, with the addition that she is also quite dishonest : my mother received some late retirement money, and my sister ' s daughter became responsible for it , since my mother isn' t "very bright"; in the end , she robbed almost all of my mother' s money. I ' m responsible for it now. She' s also robbed from every single place she' s worked at . My sister ' s son also got a girl pregnant, and they had a beautiful daughter, but he' s been having affairs ever since they got married.
Great family , right? That' s why I think that people like my mother, and consequently my siblings and I , shouldn ' t have children , because there' s a chance that they' ll turn out as bad as their parents , or even worse.
I like to think that I ' m the "white sheep" of my family , since I ' m an honest , hard working man with no addictions .
Anyway , I don' t want to have children . My wife believes I ' d make a good father, since I ' d know what not to do , but I disagree. I ' m a little too selfish for that , and I ' ve never had any role models to look up to. So , there' s a huge chance that I ' d close the vicious circle, and I don' t want that . The world needs good , honest , supportive people, not people like me. One is more than enough .

My dad passed away when I was a year old . And I grew up with my mother and a brother. My mom taught and raised me to be strong and independent . She never bought me toys and I never asked for it . When I was a kid, I never once questioned my dad ' s absence and somehow feel okay with it . However, as I grow older, I realized that as a daughter and growing up without a father figure does affected my emotional health and personality .
I know my mom tried her best to raise me and my brother all by herself but sometimes, she just make it worse like how she keep lowering my self- esteem with thoughts that she might help to boost my self- confidence when in fact, I became more timid and afraid to speak out my feelings. I was good at running away from my problems and just keep it to myself, I learnt that from her. Me and my mom, we' re not used to hug and kisses , it ' s awkward for us . Thus , I feel like I always lack of affection and human touch .
And to think that , if I had a father , I ' d be dad ' s princess and he would probably be there for me when I need a hug or a shoulder to cry. Someone I can trust and depend on . Someone who would constantly told me that I ' m beautiful and value my worth .
I ' m 24 years old this year , and at this age I feel like I need him the most in my life.




owlcitation

My mom raised me, my sister , and my brother by herself. I am 28 years old and just realized I may hate my father. I blame him for how I turned out . I am black so the fact that he was not there made me part of the statistic. I am very awkward and dealt with depression most of my life . Because of how I was raised, I have so much respect for women that it ' s harmful. I do not plan on getting married cause I know a woman could easily use me. I can' t tell women ' No ' . I wouldn ' t say I ' m afraid of them but intimidated sounds right. For years I told myself I don' t like my father not realizing it was actually hate .
I will never find happiness until I can forgive him . I mean, where do I start?

It hurt a lot reading this. Every effect on this list has happened to me in shockingly grave detail . From bottling up rage for years to developing a dependency on marijuana then getting incarcerated for the first time at age 12 .

don’t know how to feel. I grew up with my dad but he never spent any time with me or never decided to teach me anything or learn how to act like a man . I doubt all the choices I make because I don’t know if I ’m making the right ones . I don’t know what it ’s like to see a man make decisions and have that alpha role model . My dad was a gambler and that ’s all he ever did . I want to be confident as a man ! I want to know what I ’m doing! Why do I feel this way

Hi All,
I am 25 years old now. I don' t even remember when my father left me. I have faced too all the problems that we discuss here . I run my family now consisting of my mother and grandmother . I want to share the good and bad things about fatherlessness also my accomplishments.
Bad Things:
1 . I can' t share things about my father to my friends
2 . My friends glorify their fathers . That makes me feel ashamed for not having father.
3 . Everyone who knew my situation use to keep on pointing to the fatherlessness all the time . Their advices hurt me
4 . Whenever I fail day to day , even for small things , I think its because i am fatherless
5 . Thinking and crying why we deserve this. I understand everyone have their own problems . Yet , this negative energy tend to take me over .
6 . When someone bullies me emotionally or physically, a part of my mind curses me that i deserve it for being fatherless.
7 . On seeing parents showing their love towards their children , it hurts
8 . Zealous on even small kids who have fathers.
9 . Self abusing all the time in form of self- talk
10. I can ' t make close friendship with anyone as they would come to know all these and I dread it .
Good things :
1 . My mother became more responsible and resilient
2 . She made me resilient too .
3 . After seeing my mother' s sacrifice and never give up on me attitude , I got the responsibility
4 . This responsibility saved me from drug usage
5 . Learnt to control my needs financially . No interest in dress, bike or cars anything
6 . Fatherlessness acted as a driving force of my life. There is no way to retreat from anything. I had to be successful.
My Accomplishments :
1 . I secured very good marks and made my mother and grandmother proud.
2 . I got graduation in engineering . My mother and grandmother are proud of me being an Engineer.
3 . I landed up in a good job with awesome salary. No more financial problems in life.
My Suggestion:
I shared almost everything I could . After reading my accomplishments, isn' t it feel good ? Yes, but it is undeniable that the path was never easy for anyone including me. It was rough, painful ,filled with tears and shame.
We have got to manage it . I believe that all fatherless kids should find their resilience . This is something mostly uncommon in kids with their fathers . We are independent to some extent. We know the worst side of life. I always think about my mother. At least we have a hope on our future and can get married to a girl . What about our mother ? We are her only hope. Think about it and work on your success . No excuses should be given. It its painful cry, never think of quitting.


owlcatation

My dad died when i was 5 ....Honestly i never really felt his Absence since he was always workin and Barely ever around when he was Alive....so Virtually everything i learnt about becoming a man came from my Elder brothers....it took a long time For me to realise the Vacumn left behind, and to speak the truth life without a father was very tough and it's not something i would want any child to go through......the experience affected me both positively and Negetively in a lot of ways one of which is due to how difficult life got i became matured/responsible Faster than my peers which in turn robbed me of the fun, Joys and freedom associated with childhood.

I know people who were never affected by it though, sure, they missed his presence but they turned out good thanks to their mothers.

That said, every child needs the pair around.

mumumugu:
Did You Know?
Girls are are twice as likely to experience obesity and four times more likely to get pregnant as a teenager when their father isn’t present.

Story but hey, it's backed by "research", so, who am I to counter this?

Not all who grew up without their fathers exhibit this character... and not all who exhibit these characters grew up without their fathers. My point- I can't link these attributes to the above. Each individual to his/her own attribute.

@ op, if this was your story then you are only looking for excuses for your dissatisfaction with life.

People go through struggles at every stage of their lives, this could be due to myriad of factors but to solely blame it on one's father's absence is (forgive my harsh words) not responsible.

I lost my father about 22 years ago when I was just a teenager and needed all the mentoring I could get.

Do I miss him? Yes.

Do I think life could have been easier? Definitely

But it made me know early that life is not a joke and I had to buckle up and face it squarely and mature up quickly.

God gave me father figures who filled the Gap and I He helped me at crossroads where a father's word could come in handy.

Now i can say I turned out okay and I cannot be said to fare behind those whose Father are alive.

I know it's not by my physical effort but all I am saying is stop crying over what you cannot change. Man up and you will begin to see life from a different perspective.

yemisolar:
@ op, if this was your story then you are only looking for excuses for your dissatisfaction with life.

People go through struggles at every stage of their lives, this could be due to myriad of factors but to solely blame it on one's father's absence is (forgive my harsh words) not responsible.

I lost my father about 22 years ago when I was just a teenager and needed all the mentoring I could get.

Do I miss him? Yes.

Do I think life could have been easier? Definitely

But it made me know early that life is not a joke and I had to buckle up and face it squarely and mature up quickly.

God gave me father figures who filled the Gap and I He helped me at crossroads where a father's word could come in handy.

Now i can say I turned out okay and I cannot be said to fare behind those whose Father are alive.

I know it's not by my physical effort but all I am saying is stop crying over what you cannot change. Man up and you will begin to see life from a different perspective.

best response
I concur 100%

respect!

No father is better than a horrible father . Vice versa

Are we talking about the Fathers who rape their kids or which type of Fathers? you need to be specific

whatchusayin

yemisolar:
@ op, if this was your story then you are only looking for excuses for your dissatisfaction with life.

People go through struggles at every stage of their lives, this could be due to myriad of factors but to solely blame it on one's father's absence is (forgive my harsh words) not responsible.

I lost my father about 22 years ago when I was just a teenager and needed all the mentoring I could get.

Do I miss him? Yes.

Do I think life could have been easier? Definitely

But it made me know early that life is not a joke and I had to buckle up and face it squarely and mature up quickly.

God gave me father figures who filled the Gap and I He helped me at crossroads where a father's word could come in handy.

Now i can say I turned out okay and I cannot be said to fare behind those whose Father are alive.

I know it's not by my physical effort but all I am saying is stop crying over what you cannot change. Man up and you will begin to see life from a different perspective.

Various stories from various readers https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/Psychological-Effects-On-Men-Growing-Up-Without-A-Father

czarina:
Story but hey, it's backed by "research", so, who am I to counter this?

Research not done in Nigeria so may not be applicable