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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man - Family (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (53127 Views)

As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? / My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by luluosas(m): 10:27am On Sep 14, 2019
He was her boyfriend please, not a husband, talk less of being a pastor. Cheers.
My condolences please
Midas01:
Stop saying nonsense. There are actual facts that show that more men than women ditch their partners due to life threatening medical conditions.

My aunt just passed away due to a stroke about 4 days ago. Her husband who was a pastor left her when she fell ill.

If you doubt this I will pull up facts for you.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 10:28am On Sep 14, 2019
Duggedised12:
will she be able to bear children with one kidney? Cos i have seen some comments on that.

And like you said, its nit by force and no one should be guilty shames into doing anything.Kidney failure just doesn't come out of nowhere,if it is established that he knew about his condition and kept it a secret until it degenerated to this point ,then she should walk away.

And also ,she doesn't need any tangible excuse to refuse to give her kidney,its hers ,and she has the right to give or not. The choice is hers ,she doesn't need to explain to anyone her reason. I personally will not give a man i have no child for my kidney and that is that. Certain things need logic not emotions.
She will bear kids. If she doesn't want to give, it's her choice. The problem I have is people trying to make excuses for her and sweeping the fact that she doesn't love her husband under the carpet.

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Adinije(f): 10:37am On Sep 14, 2019
tayoccu:


Like you can just take a kidney from anybody...
Let them take it from anybody then, why threatening her if it was that easy.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:37am On Sep 14, 2019
Imagine after donating your kidney to the negroe, he now treats you like sh1t with infidelity and brutality.

That thing dey pain eh...

Who knows if he is already an infidel and a brute.


I don't blame her o...
she has no kids for him yet.

This one pass me.

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Funkyswagzz(m): 10:38am On Sep 14, 2019
There's nothing like love there.. it's obvious
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by d33types: 10:39am On Sep 14, 2019
marvelous000:

cheers to what? your cognitive mediocrity or your dearth of ability to deduce my comment, innocent of verbosity.

sincerely, I've ineffably tried to circumvent the urge to sound rhetorical , and it is by this triumph that I tell you that I've got infinitesimal tolerance for dilettantes, neither am i cut out to babysit people with lexical bankruptcy, nor will i pander to their inglorious whim.

now, shove your opinion up your rectum, and let me not hear anymore twaddle about grammar again. as you can see; I was having a civil discuss with pocohantas, before you came to conflagrate my countenance with otiose inanity


I give up. Even Patrick Obahiagbon made more sense.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by pocohantas(f): 10:41am On Sep 14, 2019
marvelous000:

cheers to what? your cognitive mediocrity or your dearth of ability to deduce my comment, innocent of verbosity.

sincerely, I've ineffably tried to circumvent the urge to sound rhetorical , and it is by this triumph that I tell you that I've got infinitesimal tolerance for dilettantes, neither am i cut out to babysit people with lexical bankruptcy, nor will i pander to their inglorious whim.

now, shove your opinion up your rectum, and let me not hear anymore twaddle about grammar again. as you can see; I was having a civil discuss with pocohantas, before you came to conflagrate my countenance with otiose inanity

Hmmm....

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by lookingfly: 10:42am On Sep 14, 2019
Questions your sister should ask her self is, what if she is in the man's position? What if after divorcing the man she finds herself in the man's position(which we don't pray for), what would she do if she marries another man after divorcing this man and the new man still comes down with similar ailment, is she going to still divorce the new man?.......trying times like this in marriages is when someone will know the true intents your spouse and family members have towards you. If your sister truly loves her husband, she will sacrifice for him at this dark times of he's life because divorcing him at this stage will only speed up he's death from the hearth break of the divorce.

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by humblemikel(f): 10:46am On Sep 14, 2019
If I love my husband enough
I will sacrifice my kidney for him to continue living
What's life without someone that means the world to you.
God bless your children accordingly
If you tell young people to stop excessive drinking and smoking they feel they have arrived

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by akiOYIBO: 10:48am On Sep 14, 2019
gidob:
What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point
My dear, I wonder ooo
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by BIXYBABE: 10:49am On Sep 14, 2019
His immediate family members should do dat, sum men used 2 say its their family members they luv. Why is his family member telling d wife 2 donate? She dey no get kidney ni.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:51am On Sep 14, 2019
Love has always been comatose but this generation just pulled the plug and buried her. Now there's really no hope anymore embarassed
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Rajiokazaki(m): 11:01am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
...... I seriously don't get the "biologically match with the husband".. from elementary biology,, a better match would be the guy's family....... .or is your cousin a cousin to her husband? ?? ...really...
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Saintmary(f): 11:05am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Did your cousin know her husband had kidney problems before she married him?
Did the husband know he had kidney problems before marriage and kept it from the wife?
Based on deception, the wife can request for divorce, or even annulment!
I am not a lawyer though
From the way I see it, I think your cousin should pick race, if she is not pregnant, all the better for her.
The husband's family asking for such a sacrifice from a two month bride that cannot sacrifice for their own son and brother is a useless family and worthless in laws (pardon my harsh words)

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by banji1(m): 11:11am On Sep 14, 2019
So, she suddenly forgot her vows?! Shameful

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by betterpikinn: 11:13am On Sep 14, 2019
truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.



I think you need a doctor asap.

This is serious....
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Duggedised12(f): 11:16am On Sep 14, 2019
Martinez39:
She will bear kids. If she doesn't want to give, it's her choice. The problem I have is people trying to make excuses for her and sweeping the fact that she doesn't love her husband under the carpet.
oga,using love as a yardstick is part of the guilt shaming we are talking about. I can personally sacrifice anything ,but not my organ, so to each his own o, God will not send anyone to hell for that.

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by ikorodureporta: 11:26am On Sep 14, 2019
Kidney failure is a countdown to d end, ' cos afta d transplant, how long does it last?
Instead of putting d wif @ a risk too with only one, if they can't get a seller, then how wl they manage d post operation era??
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 11:34am On Sep 14, 2019
Duggedised12:
oga,using love as a yardstick is part of the guilt shaming we are talking about. I can personally sacrifice anything ,but not my organ, so to each his own o, God will not send anyone to hell for that.
This is not guilt shaming. I am just stating facts and no one is forcing her. Fact is if she loves her husband, she would give her kidney. There is no love without sacrifice. There is no excuse as her tissue is compatible with her husband's and a human can live on one kidney with no problems. She doesn't love her husband and she does not want to give. If the genders were reversed, I would say the same thing. Let's be upfront and stop fooling ourselves with excuses. THE WOMAN DOES NOT LOVE HER HUSBAND. This fact can only be taken as guilt shaming by females who cannot love a man except when it suits them.

3 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by PapaAdanna: 11:36am On Sep 14, 2019
I don't care what anyone thinks in this matter

If what u described here is how it happened, Ur cousin and the family are very selfish and devilish

So if it were the other way round now, would they ask her to file for divorce


Chaii inside life!
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 11:39am On Sep 14, 2019
ikorodureporta:
Kidney failure is a countdown to d end, ' cos afta d transplant, how long does it last?
Instead of putting d wif @ a risk too with only one, if they can't get a seller, then how wl they manage d post operation era??
A human can live on one kidney for up to hundred years.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Oselu28(f): 11:39am On Sep 14, 2019
what happened to for better for worse? what if she was d one in his condition?
but what do I know
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by pharmagba: 11:39am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
This should not be made compulsory for the lady, the way the family are going about is wrong . A wife or husband or anybody should not be forced to donate an organ.
I seen a lot especially in kidney donation in this part of the world, especially in Nigeria and I must come out to tell us the truth , "there is no free donor". Maybe there are few excemptions but most of the donor have been settled at the backyard and come forward to say they are willing donor, the doctors and family members all know about this but they all turn blind eye to it" see no evil, hear no evil"
Tell your husband to find a donor

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by uzoexcel(m): 11:42am On Sep 14, 2019
i will use something i got from John Grisham's book, 'A time to kill.
For those advocating for the woman to leave this man,i would suggest this. Close your eyes and then Imagine this scenario but with the other way round. i.e The woman needing a kidney.would you suggest that the Man divorce her?
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by tot(f): 11:46am On Sep 14, 2019
pocohantas:
OJB of blessed memory collected kidney from his first wife and went on to marry extra wives. Couples gat no chill now.

Though I am surprised at the speed she wants to use in leaving. If it weren't kidney failure, there would have been some other challenge that would make her disappear in record time.

So, irrespective of the current situation- I believe she is a fair-weather wife. She wanted the marriage, never was it him.

That's not true. OJB already had 3 wives (each of which had 2-3 children for him) before he developed kidney issues.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 11:50am On Sep 14, 2019
tot:


That's not true. OJB already had 3 wives (each of which had 2-3 children for him) before he developed kidney issues.

Poor woman. So, he was using her kidney to service the other wives?

What of that "small" one he was said to have married or impregnated? The one they said was his music student or whatever
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by TemmyT002(m): 11:56am On Sep 14, 2019
Obviously the man has married the 'wrongest' woman if there is such a word.
May God never let us marry people who will 'japa' during life and death situations.
Na selfish world e dey leave in and all of us are hypocrites.
Sighs.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 11:58am On Sep 14, 2019
mahvie:

How do i go about getting the court order? Does it cost anything.
I don't think it will attract any significant cost. About the process, it shouldn't be so difficult to obtain although I don't have the detail.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by marvelous000: 11:59am On Sep 14, 2019
pocohantas:

Hmmm....
you say!cheesygrin

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by teeghurl(f): 12:00pm On Sep 14, 2019
gidob:

What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point
smiley
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by teeghurl(f): 12:02pm On Sep 14, 2019
truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.



Oshisco undecided
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by smartoliver(m): 12:16pm On Sep 14, 2019
gidob:

What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point
I was basically confused.

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