MrBrownJay1:


FIXED

Hahaha. How many divorced happy people have you met? I was once divorced so I can say it didn’t solve anything!

AntiBrutus:


If only women held them to certain standard, the world will be a better place.

But no, women are concerned with avoiding divorce.

Lol. Replying as an ex divorced lady, I know what is better for me!

Things like this should be avoided by not allowing relatives to stay longer when they come visiting to avoid stories that touch the heart, I just hope her husband will tell the truth.

Omojudy:
As painful as this will sound, I will ask the girl what she wants to do, clearly giving her the right over her own body. She is my relative not his and I will support her while watching my husband prayerfully without a quarrel.
If she does keep the pregnancy, I will request her to give us custody of the child and voila we have another child.
Whatever she decides, I will stand by it. Anything other than him and her continuing their affair.
Yes, I will also have the baby’s DNA tested when born if we have to accept the liability.
Life is not that hard, it’s betraying and hurtful but we will always take the right decisions putting emotions aside.

It take persin wey strong to do this..

.

Omojudy:

Hahaha. How many divorced happy people have you met? I was once divorced so I can say it didn’t solve anything!

Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage (with a decent caring loving husband), you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

calgaryFriend:
This issue if not properly handled can scatter your family, I am sorry you are having to deal with such a terrible thing.
I'd suggest you try and establish the truth first.

I wouldn't conclude that your husband is guilty until I have established the truth cos if you wrongly assume he is guilty and he is not, you would be doing yourself another great damage by wrongly levelling such a terrible accusation against your husband.

I'd say you should be scheming on how to establish what the truth is.

I wish you Gods direction in this trying and challenging time.

If it's established that the husband lied about the girl being fine after taking her to the hospital, that should be an indicator that the man is responsible for the girls pregnancy. Is as simple as that.

calgaryFriend:


This does not sound like a wise thing to do, how will she call the whole village on her husband based on an accusation that has not been verified.
And even if she eventually verifies it she does not have to expose her dirty laundry in the open, she has a marriage to keep nonetheless.

When tree falls on tree you remove the uppermost one first.

The first thing she needs to do is to use wisdom to establish if her husband is the one responsible or not.

Have you though about the damage your suggestion would make if her husband is been wrongly accused ?
Or do you think it is not possible that the husband may be wrongly accused ?

This is not the time to betray emotions , this is the time to use wisdom.

Good one not the other person given wrong advice.

What if your husband is actually innocent?

How will you be able to look at him when the truth vindicates him?

@OP. Please be careful. Don't follow the mob. Use your head. Try to get his side of the story and follow your heart thereafter.

Disgusting spits

AgreatMan:


Agneseze

If you follow this advice, you will crumble your marriage with your own hands. It doesn't mean it is a faulty advise, you just need to determine if you want to settle this or your want to throw blames.

D first person to blame is the OP. You brought a matured female into your own home because u couldn't take your of your home yourself.

A man and a woman are wired differently. Firstly, a man is attracted by what they see n u brought him something to see. Secondly, a man might vow never to touch a woman, but if the woman touches him...then... Since she wasn't raped, she could have initiated it.

Your husband did it but you cannot allow this ruin your marriage. You must also not allow him lose face. That child is yours but you must ensure it never happens again, n your ability to ensure this doesn't happen depends on d level of influence you have on him.

loveymom:


The fact your husband is denying it is nauseating

Please call a family meeting and invite both your niece and her family, your family and your husband's family. So that the both parties will face themselves and you will find out the truth.

Without the truth you won't be able to know how to handle this matter.

You want a woman to call a family meeting, inviting both her parents and in-laws? Anyways, traditions differ.
The family meeting will call itself. The pregnancy cannot be hidden. People will ask questions and more revelation will definitely come.
So madam OP, maintain your cool though its difficult, but you just have to and wash as the season drama unveils.
You sanity, your health and that of you children should be your primary concern now. This too will passed.

MrBrownJay1:


Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage, you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

I for don divorce my present hubby now and ten more if Na so. But I am wiser and gratefully he got wiser and we patched and are so much happier!

MrBrownJay1:


Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage, you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

I for don divorce my present hubby now and ten more (that’s if if Na so. But I am wiser and gratefully he got wiser and we patched and are so much happier!

MrBrownJay1:


Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage, you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

I for don divorce my present hubby now and ten more (that’s if i got that many more offers)if Na so. But I am wiser and gratefully he got wiser and we patched and are so much happier!

MrCEO69:

It take persin wey strong to do this..

Life has toughened me!

MrBrownJay1:


May I ask: what happened to the Hegoat?

still alive.

alphaNomega:


That must have been a traumatic sight

The man sef no try, what happened to hotels?

am still traumatized till now.

Omojudy:

I for don divorce my present hubby now and ten more (that’s if i got that many more offers)if Na so. But I am wiser and gratefully he got wiser and we patched and are so much happier!

So you advocate reconciliation much more than other options in handling marital crisis right?

Agneseze:


But I am worried , because my husband is respectable man and is well known. I don’t know what to believe. What should I do please

No he is not. Respectable don't do irresponsibility no matter what..

Omojudy:
As painful as this will sound, I will ask the girl what she wants to do, clearly giving her the right over her own body. She is my relative not his and I will support her while watching my husband prayerfully without a quarrel.
If she does keep the pregnancy, I will request her to give us custody of the child and voila we have another child.
Whatever she decides, I will stand by it. Anything other than him and her continuing their affair.
Yes, I will also have the baby’s DNA tested when born if we have to accept the liability.
Life is not that hard, it’s betraying and hurtful but we will always take the right decisions putting emotions aside.

Is that a husband or a marriage to keep?
But it's easy to say because you're not the one wearing the shoes.

MrBrownJay1:


Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage (with a decent caring loving husband), you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

Na Naija woman you type this one for.
The Stockholm Syndrome is real here...

MrBrownJay1:


Divorce is certainly better than staying in a miserable union... and as much as you wouldn't be as happy as someone in a loving marriage (with a decent caring loving husband), you certainly would be happier than staying married to a disrespectful, unfaithful, dishonest deceitful husband.

Your view, while appropriate, is a tad too theoretical. There are extenuating circumstances that may make the notion of putting up with an unfaithful husband a bit bearable than being divorced especially if he has other good attributes that the wife likes, especially in Africa. These include:

-If the wife does not have much leverage and the husband is rich and powerful
-If the issue is a one-off, where the husband is not a serial womanizer
-Polygamy as an acceptable culture in these parts
-The societal stigma of being without a husband for the wife
-Considerations over raising children in a broken home

So, until all the facts and circumstances are carefully considered, you cannot just recommend divorce for all cases of infidelity. Even Hilary Clinton did not divorce Bill, which would be wrong going by your logic. At the end of the day, it depends on the victim and how much she can put up with, things that can make deflect the emotional trauma, if the husband is remorseful etc.

cococandy:
Disgusting spits

She is a married woman, are you willing to share your husband with her once she divorce her husband? Stop thinking like a single lady.

And stop spitting around, are you pregnant again?

mrsfavour:
honestly sister,mine happened last month , my house girl was about removing her panties while my hubby was on erection waiting for her I just caught them. I sent the girl away that same minute. And I faced my husband , called his mother and elder sister. They came ,all ashamed, pleading. Some men are he goats I swear

Sorry to hear about this.

Foodforthought:

It won't be bad if you reason with your brain and not your hormones. Instead of addressing the main issue of what to do about the situation or how to manage the pregnancy as well as the marriage... you are more concerned about berating the man.

The man berated himself by sleeping with the wife's niece.

ctleurocollege:


My advice to you is to stop your uncontrollable deek from leading you to defile your own daughter before it happens. If your wife pursues every female from you, it means she knows your deek doesn't have control. Hence I gave you my advice, to avoid future mishaps.

Hmmm see engrish ur mumu is like zeeworld, extraordinary everyday

Come to think of it, if he wasn't responsible, why did he opt to take her to the hospital and afterwards your niece left the house without you asking her to leave.

ThierryJay:


Your view, while appropriate, is a tad too theoretical. There are extenuating circumstances that may make the notion of putting up with an unfaithful husband a bit bearable than being divorced especially if he has other good attributes that the wife likes, especially in Africa. These include:

-If the wife does not have much leverage and the husband is rich and powerful
-If the issue is a one-off, where the husband is not a serial womanizer
-Polygamy as an acceptable culture in these parts
-The societal stigma of being without a husband for the wife
-Considerations over raising children in a broken home

So, until all the facts and circumstances are carefully considered, you cannot just recommend divorce for all cases of infidelity. Even Hilary Clinton did not divorce Bill, which would be wrong going by your logic. At the end of the day, it depends on the victim and how much she can put up with, things that can make deflect the emotional trauma, if the husband is remorseful etc.

Bro just because so many women stay in these miserable marriages for the wrong reasons (money etc) doesn't make it right. Sadly, in Nigeria many women would prefer to stay married to a donkey/demon than divorce him and be looked down upon by society. I actually don't blame these women, I blame the Nigerian society.

Btw...We all know why Hillary didn't divorce Bill, it has all to do with her political ambitions.

MrBrownJay1:


Bro just because so many women stay in these miserable marriages for the wrong reasons (money etc) doesn't make it right. Sadly, in Nigeria many women would prefer to stay married to a donkey/demon than divorce him and be looked down upon by society. I actually don't blame these women, I blame the Nigerian society.

Btw...We all know why Hillary didn't divorce Bill, it has all to do with her political ambitions.

It may have been because of political ambitions, but that still falls under some sort of leverage which I previously highlighted. My point is that you cannot put all cases of infidelity in the same bucket, and therefore recommend divorce as the panacea to all. That will be myopic. I think we can all agree that it's a no-brainer that infidelity is not right, so that's not in dispute.

The issue is the way to address it is on a case-by-case basis. And this is mostly dependent on the victims themselves and preferably with a counsellor, so that they make the best choice for themselves. This could be through divorce, forgiveness, separation, etc. You cannot change the perspective of the Nigerian society. Hence you should look out for what's best for you.

ThierryJay:


It may have been because of political ambitions, but that still falls under some sort of leverage which I previously highlighted. My point is that you cannot put all cases of infidelity in the same bucket, and therefore recommend divorce as the panacea to all. That will be myopic. I think we can all agree that it's a no-brainer that infidelity is not right, so that's not in dispute.

The issue is the way to address it is on a case-by-case basis. And this is mostly dependent on the victims themselves and preferably with a counsellor, so that they make the best choice for themselves. This could be through divorce, forgiveness, separation, etc. You cannot change the perspective of the Nigerian society. Hence you should look out for what's best for you.

I strongly beg to differ.... people enter marriage union while expecting to be faithful to one another. The minute husband/wife cheats, the contract/union is void IMHO. Only desperate people stay in these miserable union, and the reason why partner cheated is IRRELEVANT.

The simple fact that such cheating issues can have DEADLY consequences (to partner/children etc), only a very desperate person would stay with a cheating partner.

But as I always say: to each their own misery.

calgaryFriend:

This is the problem with the youths in that country, full of activity but no intelligence.

You took your time to criticise my input but failed to provide an alternative.

I raised very cogent points which you failed to address in anyway.

How does calling the 2 family solve the problem, were you there to know that the man is the owner of the pregnancy ?

The effrontery with which ignorant people write rubbish on this platform is mindboggling.

Desist from childish rants/tantrums, Your Statements are fatuous.