I need football thread on fp pls. Not interested in all this cow dung stories on fp. Bleeping, love and HIV Stories kee una dia.

merit1988:


and who says all ur negative outline exist in my marriage? Pls look b4 u leap

This is the problem with this thread..... someone asked for more details... critical details... and you choose to ignore them. You gave this guy the opportunity to assume what is wrong in the marriage. You can never get good advice if your problems can't be stated. Normally.... love comes before marriage. You are married but don't know love. How is this possible?... was it an arranged marriage?...did you enter the marriage because of pregnancy?... is there a big age difference?...you into Davido/Wizkid he into Fela? ... is he into games?...betting?..his boys? and see you like furniture?....a sister?....a daughter? ... does he take you out?... any effort to be romantic?...trim your nails?....bathe you?...shave you? Is a whole lot you been dead silent about.... but expect solutions. It is good you enteed the marriage as a virgin.... the minute you step out and ehmmm.... chop better firewood... it's over. More details...better advice.

Originalsly:


This is the problem with this thread..... someone asked for more details... critical details... and you choose to ignore them. You gave this guy the opportunity to assume what is wrong in the marriage. You can never get good advice if your problems can't be stated. Normally.... love comes before marriage. You are married but don't know love. How is this possible?... was it an arranged marriage?...did you enter the marriage because of pregnancy?... is there a big age difference?...you into Davido/Wizkid he into Fela? ... is he into games?...betting?..his boys? and see you like furniture?....a sister?....a daughter? ... does he take you out?... any effort to be romantic?...trim your nails?....bathe you?...shave you? Is a whole lot you been dead silent about.... but expect solutions. It is good you enteed the marriage as a virgin.... the minute you step out and ehmmm.... chop better firewood... it's over. More details...better advice.

good and valid questions uv asked ...but u don't expect me to go into full details on my marriage issues here ,when just the little info I wrote here has already made some people call me names...I have actually gotten some relevant ideas on how to go abt my marital problem...I appreciate ur comment sir

Submit yourself and stop watching Zeeworld.
It has ruin a lot of marriages.

merit1988:


good and valid questions uv asked ...but u don't expect me to go into full details on my marriage issues here ,when just the little info I wrote here has already made some people call me names...I have actually gotten some relevant ideas on how to go abt my marital problem...I appreciate ur comment sir

Never forget..... this is a public forum.... some people don't even read but commemt.... expect criticism....negativity... insults... irrelevance and ignorance.....ignore them.... the only good thing about such... is they can help you to grow tough skin.
Not saying you should say everything that is wrong... just more for us to work with.

safarigirl:
azzin, the matter tire me

NL is running out of topics, I will soon start writing relationship woes for them to move to FP.

Lol... Goodluck.

I dont know why guys are like that with virgins. The girl go just shock cuz she thought she would be treated nicely but the guy will just be insultive, reluctant to care, etc. Thats so odd considering how guys say they want virgins. Controlling or cold etc, is how the first acts . Then when that first guy becomes your husband.........well hang in there i believe he will change. Definately he will. Just stay loyal, whatever you do.

Merit1988

For your own sake, carefully sieve the advice you receive concerning your marriage.
If u feel you need someone to talk to, prayerfully meet a counselor.

Spell out what the issues are/what is making you feel less loved.
A happy marriage is what u both put into it.

Be wise about your decisions.

Lol strange prick dey hungry am ashana

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

I have seen this movie

I recommend you and your husband to read five languages of love by Chapman, maybe you will learn something from it...

My dear, I read your piece and understand perfectly how you're feeling. Love? If you understand what real love is and not the telemundo ones we crave for in our marriages we would put our mind to rest and enjoy our marriage. Love is giving your All, love is sacrificing your All, love is long suffering, love is courtesy, love does not seek it's ''own'' and much more. You're probably young and watching too much telemundo movies. You must have had a little feeling for him to agree to marry him in the first place. Why not go back to that? build on it, respect and do all to please and like him more. Be determined to enjoy your marriage if the man is not the violent or temperamental one. He will change when you develop a positive attitude and all those side issues will disappear. All the best dear.

There's already a poor foundation. Wish you could share more light on your courtship.

You are struggling with love how?

As in you don't like your husband or you regret getting married or you just want to start flirting around and playing away games?

What exactly is your wish?

Nonsense.

totosucker:
If you are a Christian,your duty is to submit to your husband and his duty is to love you. Don't you people buy surprise gifts for yourselves? This is one way you can use to ignite the fire of love in your relationship. Prepare his best meal for him. Be an obedient wife, Take a stroll together, See a movie together, Dress sexually for him at home and make love to him when he wants it and generously too. And in return your husband will shower you with lots of love.

funny! such love is artificial love! for love to germinate like a seed there must be chemistry which serve as room or land for the seed of love to germinate. from the OP the man in question got married for the sake of marriage in which most spouse are guilty of it. marriage is more than procreation or sex , many things are involve in it ,many consideration need to be taken before anything. when you are spectator you can pick out the fault of the players but when you involve yourself in the game you discover the game is more than what you watch as spectator. thanks.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

What's your definition of Love?
If you are real, you can be helped. It's not as difficult as you think.

We need to unlearn so many things in marriage.

nobody is perfect.

sweetilicious:
We need to unlearn so many things in marriage.

Like what?

In our part of the world , religion and society have made marriage become a bottomless pit from which couples should not get out. It's funny that some commentators here said,'once you are in, you are in...'.
In other climes, no marriage is not negotiable. One or both of the Couples can wake up one day and feel sick of being married and then go to court to dissolve the marriage and move on with their different lives.

But in society such as ours, we see people dying from marriage complications. What a disaster!

@Op, if you are no longer happy being married, head to court and move on with your life.

@Post
Nairaland is the wrong place to ask for marital advice. See a marriage counselor instead.

Y is that women are they only ones creating threads. What of their husbands?
I think they man might even be fed up with their nagging attitude, Yet they choice not to create any thread or publicise it.
Some women always lyk to play the victim card which they might be at fault

daddytime:
Hmm

Na you wear shoes oh...

No one here can give you any advice based on the very scanty info above.

Did you notice that...

It's appalling how people present very scanty detail and expect readers to construct useful advice for them.

It is common on this forum.
Are they naive or what.

I lump the OP together with those who jump in to give advice and wax philosophical without studying the post. They make a pot of soup with water and salt only.

mechanics:
It's well o, please don't get out o, you are in, if you get out God won't be happy with you, just pray then and you can talk to your pastor.

How would i start to explain to him without implicating myself na.. because na work i want work am b4 now e done dey form hooking.. I blv putting her in the friendzone is a better option than that.

GeneralShepherd:


The spark is absolute western rubbish. Spark of what exactly are you a transformer ?

Real marriages are built on substance not some flimsy spark. The spark is stupidest thing to build a marriage.

Love is the death of duty. Marriage is as a matter of fact duty first!

Hope you know spark wasn't the only thing I mentioned.... I mean, just reminding you. And please it's not western. I know we all want to be okuko igbo but stop giving these whites too much credit

comments more than post

killmods:

How would i start to explain to him without implicating myself na.. because na work i want work am b4 now e done dey form hooking.. I blv putting her in the friendzone is a better option than that.

hmmmm, remember a problem shared is half solved, tell him the truth.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

Love is commitment. Love is responsibility. Love is a choice to stand by a person no matter what. Love is sacrifice. Love is not always sweet. Neither is love always bitter. Love is the price and love is the prize.

If you have adhered to all these already then what you are complaining of is the lack of passionate affection. This problem is deeply rooted in the supernatural. Many have tried physical means of creating this yet it doesn't work. Many have advocated sex styles and sexual orientations yet it doesn't work... The natural affection mentioned by Paul in Romans 1:31 is one that God alone can plant in your marriage.

Avoid the temptation to resort to self-help. Beware of the counsel of some directing you towards harmful practices in the name of spicing up your marriage. Talk to God, in Jesus' name, first about it. Next talk to your husband about it. Next both of you, husband and wife, should together ask Jesus for help about the lack of natural affection lost between both of you. And keep being a loving spouse as described in the aforementioned.

generationz:


Why are you comparing women to tokunbo cars na?

can u imagine and the bible will never do DAT to a woman. Even Jesus did not say such about the the prostitute he met at the well side.

merit1988:
I hv been trying to play my role as a wife anyway.... thanks for u warm advices....I'm grateful..ur name though

Know your husband love language and tell him yours