Beatswim:
if the foundation be bad... What can the righteous do? Be wise bro

Oga...

That Joseph still went ahead to marry Mary despite the backlash she would have faced from the society means that 1+1not always 2.


There are different foundational problems in marriages today however, premarital pregnancy in my opinion, isn't one of them.


Lack of trust ..
Incompatibility
Bad financial habits
Abuse (emotional,verbal and physical)
Deceit

Amongst others are symptoms of a faulty marital foundation.

Premarital sex and pregnancy just ain't as serious as the ones up there.

chinchonglee:

Bros lemme ask u my own too.

How do men get married without a job
How did u finance ur wedding
How did u finance family expenses
How do u cope knwing fully well u av a big task to take care of and u dnt av moni
Which house did u live in Who paid the rent??

that was why i mentioned.. Seeking God's face before marriage.. The devil has seen my future and he knew i wont be employed for the first 5 years of my marriage so he must have prepared a lady for me too if not for God's direction on the choice of wife.. Now back to all Questions she financed everything secretly without letting even her family members know and she's very respectful.. Tolerant and still bends alittle with her kneels to give me food for the whole of my trial years... As per family expenses.. She footed 80 percent of every bills as my parents too were supportive plus i wasnt lazy too... I did few errands for people and they paid peanuts... Abd lastly as for the rents she paid them with school fees of our children cos shes a medical personel.. Just leme now ask u one last question too... Where on earth can u find such a woman without Gods direction?now she doesnt touch her salaries anymore

pappy2000:
i wish i am still single the truth is that i explained everything to her and i told her how much i earn now i am pay 45% loan on the car, should i cancel the wedding or i continue

Cancel it divorce is not easy ooo

pappy2000:
thanks everyone for your advice. I am not here to beg for money . I repeat i am not here to beg for money i just need your advice. The only thing u can do for me to support me now is if u are around kogi area this month end u can be my guest, thanks. that i just all i need , God bless u all. that is the only support i need. thanks I have only 12 people coming from Lagos to kogi while they are bringing 300 people its damn so crazy. when i told them that is much they say that is their tradition.

the reason i am writing this way is that I am writing from my heart. I am writing as i remember things

.
.
Haaaaaaaaa, You still decided to dig Ur grave Urself.
so, after all U read, u want to walk into death on ur own??
.
I feel no pity for U

kannymoore:


Oga...

That Joseph still went ahead to marry Mary despite the backlash she would have faced from the society means that 1+1not always 2.


There are different foundational problems in marriages today however, premarital pregnancy in my opinion, isn't one of them.


Lack of trust ..
Incompatibility
Bad financial habits
Abuse (emotional,verbal and physical)
Deceit

Amongst others are symptoms of a faulty marital foundation.

Premarital sex and pregnancy just ain't as serious as the ones up there.

your theories here are really juicy... And looks quite well to read.. Claps but sorry to tell that the Bible is not a science.. It standard doesn't change and the Bible dint trivialize the issue of pregnancy and premarital sex that u mentioned here.. Hebrews 13 vs 4 is clear and cant be twisted.. If the marriage is not honorable i. e let the bed be undefiled....am sorry the foundation will be faulty

Gokoyer0:
You are on point. Thanks for this masterpiece coming from a woman.

Thank God for the wisdom..
Thank you too �

I could only imagine how you fell right now Brother.
My opinion;

Since you're experiencing as much as this even before the so called fixed wedding, what will happen after the wedding may claim your precious life before you take step to divorce her.(God forbid) you shall live long

You must understand that the lady is not meant for you, you both are not designed to be couple.
After this understanding, next this is to run for your dear life.

Forget about her sister that seems to like you marry her, you will not live with the sister after wedding but your wife hmm!

Please cancel the wedding plan, don't waste your hard earn money on what is not giving you joy and peace of mind, if she decides to terminate the pregnancy, better for her let her be.
But if she will keep the pregnancy, good allow her to born the child and take care of your child. And let her remain your baby mama.

God will provide you your ordained wife.

Your peace of mind and life is more important than anything sir.

I submit.

I aint gonna yansh you

Rekhina:
leave 0kmn alone ! Na by force 2 chop preek

wots funny

MedicH:

Unclesamo:

.
.
Haaaaaaaaa, You still decided to dig Ur grave Urself.
so, after all U read, u want to walk into death on ur own??
.
I feel no pity for U

Have read all the comments here and most comments doesn't support the marriage, he should have said he just needed sympathy not advice cuz he already know what he is going to do, he will still come back here after the wedding and complain
Now to pappy, I know u won't take this advice but I had to tell to cuz if I don't I won't be able to sleep, from what I comprehend from your write up, u are 40, your girl is 34, u are earning 100+ and still doing Uber
I'm a girl bro and I would not ask my boyfriend what I know he doesn't have, and for those saying Maybe because she is pregnant, don't be deceive, I'm a nurse, pregnant women ask for varieties of food not phone
She is desperate for marriage and she knew u need baby, she was being nice b4 so u can marry now that she is pregnant she now has upper hand
Don't cry, I don't know how she can stand u crying but that's a very bad sign that she is A very bad person, sit here down and tell her u can't continue the wedding, tell her u are sorry and she can do whatever u want with the baby.... Return her money and what things turn around
Don't go into depression cuz once u cross that line u ain't ever coming back, take your mental health seriously, u can still have a beautiful family even if u are 50.

24kmagic:
Are we talking about Kogi state girl here or someone whose parents just live in Kogi?

Cos if that girl is from Kogi state, just back off! I'm yet to see one good girl from Kogi state and I've seen many. Only go ahead with this wedding if you're also from Kogi state, if not....

Kogi state? God forbid

How you people stereotype a set of people because of the few you have come across is beyond me. This is why Nigeria is where it is, there are only very few people who reason objectively.

Am not used to cursing here but I will do,May Korofo scatter all the people who always give destructive advice here.Two people were moving on smoothly not until things turn out dicey all you people could say is divorce. A good advice should be that guy man should take a little break and try not to be too emotional, but he should try to keep to his promise of marrying the lady,if after marrying and things doesn't turn out well he should endure and if after much endurance it doesn't still work out,to save his life and sanity he can now back out by then even heaven knows the guy has done his best and karma will take its toll on the lady sincerely.

Simpleete:
Am not used to cursing here but I will do,May Korofo scatter all the people who always give destructive advice here.Two people were moving on smoothly not until things turn out dicey all you people could say is divorce. A good advice should be that guy man should take a little break and try not to be too emotional, but he should try to keep to his promise of marrying the lady,if after marrying and things doesn't turn out well he should endure and if after much endurance it doesn't still work out,to save his life and sanity he can now back out by then even heaven knows the guy has done his best and karma will take its toll on the lady sincerely.

Even the born child will hear of the story and will not blame his dad.

Blackfriday:
Please how do one seek God's face in a marriage?..

Do God come down from heaven and give you the wife?

Not everyone will have a supportive wife like yours for 5 years without a job but want I don't understand is you asking him to quit now, even after they are legally married in the eyes of the LAW, so it's okay he leaves the lady while she's pregnant for him (4 months)...wow.

No life journey is easy, the young man has made some mistake already but he should have some balls and face his demons, that is what define successful men, you don't run at face of a any slight obstacle (you don't win that way), good things don't come easy, we all dream of so many beautiful things we want in life but Who says it's going to come like a fairly tale?.

You are married sir and I guess you have children now as well, so should understand how cranky so ladies can become when they are pregnant, coupled with a pressure of planning a marriage, baba... This man should be patient and pray to God for a better days... From his narrative the girls family have been nice to him, willing to support him and the lady herself have been good to him in the past, can't he give it his best instead of running away.... And the truth be told no woman will be happy a man who can't get things done, they don't leave with promises.

To be honest, your words are soothing! they are like oil to help wounds heal!

First time I'll read a post on NL in details, page to page!
Interesting saga. this young man is between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I was once in this boat, but a little different anyway. the only difference between the OP and I, was that he seems weak and emotional. Apparently, the 'bride to be' is taking full advantage of it all!

My strategy: boldy call the shots! declare what you want and stick to your guns. It's alreay too late to chicken out since the court marriage has been done. I just want the OP in control as the man. Tell her what you can afford and what you cant. She can cry you a river! be blunt even to the sister! Don't borrow a dime from the sister or whosoever, that'll sink you further into debt, remember you are already in one - the car loan. Without a steady stream of income, brace yourself for tougher times ahead! Work harder and explore avenues to earn more income. You'll stabilize with time, even though it might take a while.

For that your 'bride', you have a lot to do on that cry baby and drama queen, but you can deal with her by being firm. The match maker (bride sister) be warned, she's a third party - a trojan horse as far as I am concerned. She appears to be nice at the moment because she wants her sister married! After the ceremonies, she'll rudely tell you how she sponsored your borke ass for your wedding and how much of a slothful lazy lily-levered man you are. Thank her for her offer of help but have none of her further interference or financial contribution. The risks of contempt are extremely high!

DO NOT have a hand in spilling the blood of that baby, not even by being mute or playing the 'you can do whatever card', remember the baby is not only innocent, but your child as well!

Above all, pray! It works!

mark2sunny:
This is the time you need God's direction. Maybe God is passing a message to you. Go to a quiet place over the weekend and wait on God. Wait until He speaks to you or give you a leading. Go to a place where you can spend quality time without distraction for 24 hours and beyond. Take what you receive as you final decision.

I know someone who was lead to someone, but because he didn't see so much love and acceptance from this lady from the beginning, he asked God for another person. The second person arrived and it was all fun and sex. She took in and marriage happened in less than 4 months. His wife fought his siblings on the same day they wedded. He went broke and both of them started suffering. Her family couldn't even support. They termed the guy lazy and mean.

He's tried divorcing her but she'll always emotionally hold him down. They have 3 kids so it's even more difficult. She brings him problems every now and then. They don't have peace. Most importantly, she doesn't love God like him.

Good things most times don't seem like it from the beginning. Someone can be nice to you to get you. Most ladies who don't seem to fall at your feet from the get go a great women. They'll spend the rest of their lives proving that to you. Secondly, what gives us peace and blessings don't usually look attractive.

Getting a divorce isn't straight forward when kids are involved. Stop everything now. Better loose your job and disappear for a while than go through with it. You are not very young to be experimenting marriage. Save up the 200k and return it back to her. They can keep whatever they have bought and use it when she finds another man.

A stitch in time saves nine

Obedience is better than sacrifice

You can't give peace in the midst of war

You can't give peace if you lack peace

This is wisdom!!!!
What gives us peace and blessings doesn't look attractive!!

This is not *marriage* ordained by God however God's grace is giving you clear signs of His love so that you will not regret *too-much* for not *surrendering your life to Him* early in your life as a youth.
It is only a sister who *has a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ Crucified* that will tell you to *slow-down everything, pray and seek God's approval* before getting married to her sister.
*Post-pone* every marriage date, accept to take care of the child and the mother, give your life to *Jesus Christ*, grow your faith in Jesus then He will bring your wife and financial status to what He has designed it to be before the foundation of the world (Matthew 6:33, Ephesians 2:10).
Pre-marital sex comes with *soul-ties* (Genesis 34:1:7) hence you will *think you are in-love* or you do not want to hurt the other party by *separating from him/her* it takes *God's grace* hence pray for this grace including fasting using "It is finished/settled/destroyed" (John 19:30) so that the power of Jesus Christ Death on the Cross of Calvary will *break your life from this soul-tie* and you will begin to make decisions not based upon *emotions or monetary-gifts* but from a *pure spirit* standing on the *finished works of Jesus Christ Crucified on the Cross of Calvary*.
Save up and pay her sister back her money and her gifts, such things should not lead you into a marriage that God did not approve for you which will turn your remaining days on earth into a misery.
Great Grace Brethren!!!

Beatswim:
that was why i mentioned.. Seeking God's face before marriage.. The devil has seen my future and he knew i wont be employed for the first 5 years of my marriage so he must have prepared a lady for me too if not for God's direction on the choice of wife.. Now back to all Questions she financed everything secretly without letting even her family members know and she's very respectful.. Tolerant and still bends alittle with her kneels to give me food for the whole of my trial years... As per family expenses.. She footed 80 percent of every bills as my parents too were supportive plus i wasnt lazy too... I did few errands for people and they paid peanuts... Abd lastly as for the rents she paid them with school fees of our children cos shes a medical personel.. Just leme now ask u one last question too... Where on earth can u find such a woman without Gods direction?now she doesnt touch her salaries anymore

Choi!
See me dat promised mysef i wont get married until my earnings get to 300k monthly to avoid wife's embarrassment nd all dat issue..
Anyways u re very lucky as my routine wont make me see such girls, only slay mamas, idiots, empty heads and fish brains dat i normally meet.

Congrats bro say hi to dat queen of urs on my behalf, she is rare.

chinchonglee:

Choi!
See me dat promised mysef i wont get married until my earnings get to 300k monthly to avoid wife's embarrassment nd all dat issue..
Anyways u re very lucky as my routine wont make me see such girls, only slay mamas, idiots, empty heads and fish brains dat i normally meet.

Congrats bro say hi to dat queen of urs on my behalf, she is rare.

Life partner is a gift from the Lord to those who *fear him* no matter your type of job or routine, *surrender your whole being(spirit, soul and body) absolutely to the Holy Spirit*
And He will *lead you to His manifestations designed for your life alone*
Great Grace!!!

chinchonglee:

Choi!
See me dat promised mysef i wont get married until my earnings get to 300k monthly to avoid wife's embarrassment nd all dat issue..
Anyways u re very lucky as my routine wont make me see such girls, only slay mamas, idiots, empty heads and fish brains dat i normally meet.

Congrats bro say hi to dat queen of urs on my behalf, she is rare.

certainly very rare bro.. But its achievable..but the truth is if u make more than that amount in a month does it change your spouse attitude... I guess more reason u need to ask if Churchill... Femi branch and adeniyi Johnson make up to that in a month?

ochibuogwu5:

Life partner is a gift from the Lord to those who *fear him* no matter your type of job or routine, *surrender your whole being(spirit, soul and body) absolutely to the Holy Spirit*
And He will *lead you to His manifestations designed for your life alone*
Great Grace!!!

God bless u.. Your marriage won't collapse suddenly...i learnt from u..

Beatswim:
certainly very rare bro.. But its achievable..but the truth is if u make more than that amount in a month does it change your spouse attitude... I guess more reason u need to ask if Churchill... Femi branch and adeniyi Johnson make up to that in a month?

True.. but am actually a selfish person wen it comes to certain tins. How much anoda person is earning before he got married isn't my concern. My own concern is my self, how much i am earning.

chinchonglee:

True.. but am actually a selfish person wen it comes to certain tins. How much anoda person is earning before he got married isn't my concern. My own concern is my self, how much i am earning.

u are quite really funny its not bad thing to be hungry for more sucess.. Its certainly very good but it better if u seek the right one for u... I wish u well bro

Martinez39:
Indeed, they are all like that.

You already made the mistake of getting her pregnant, don't make the mistake of marrying her. The mistake of getting her pregnant is enough to handle, don't add more to the table.

I hope Mr. Love-struck Simp listens to your advice. He shouldn't he looks too weak to handle one.

Simpleete:



Oil dey your head,you sabi something

Lol...

Kampack:


To be honest, your words are soothing! they are like oil to help wounds heal!

First time I'll read a post on NL in details, page to page!
Interesting saga. this young man is between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I was once in this boat, but a little different anyway. the only difference between the OP and I, was that he seems weak and emotional. Apparently, the 'bride to be' is taking full advantage of it all!

My strategy: boldy call the shots! declare what you want and stick to your guns. It's alreay too late to chicken out since the court marriage has been done. I just want the OP in control as the man. Tell her what you can afford and what you cant. She can cry you a river! be blunt even to the sister! Don't borrow a dime from the sister or whosoever, that'll sink you further into debt, remember you are already in one - the car loan. Without a steady stream of income, brace yourself for tougher times ahead! Work harder and explore avenues to earn more income. You'll stabilize with time, even though it might take a while.

For that your 'bride', you have a lot to do on that cry baby and drama queen, but you can deal with her by being firm. The match maker (bride sister) be warned, she's a third party - a trojan horse as far as I am concerned. She appears to be nice at the moment because she wants her sister married! After the ceremonies, she'll rudely tell you how she sponsored your borke ass for your wedding and how much of a slothful lazy lily-levered man you are. Thank her for her offer of help but have none of her further interference or financial contribution. The risks of contempt are extremely high!

DO NOT have a hand in spilling the blood of that baby, not even by being mute or playing the 'you can do whatever card', remember the baby is not only innocent, but your child as well!

Above all, pray! It works!

Exactly my point sir. no one's life is perfect, we all experience pain and failures almost Everytime (even the rich, whose life seem perfect). He should cool down, find a solution to his problems by standing firm as a man in his decisions and salvage what is left of his life..... Believe me, he can come out of this stronger and a winner (running do not solve problems), it's difficult I know but he can do it.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Quit? A woman is becoming irrational because she's carrying a baby which comes with different hormones and you say he should quit? Kai

I don't think you read the story very well.
Read it again and again!.

Marriage for them wouldn't work at all.
Take it or leave it !!


Just a matter of TIME

Kampack:


To be honest, your words are soothing! they are like oil to help wounds heal!

First time I'll read a post on NL in details, page to page!
Interesting saga. this young man is between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I was once in this boat, but a little different anyway. the only difference between the OP and I, was that he seems weak and emotional. Apparently, the 'bride to be' is taking full advantage of it all!

My strategy: boldy call the shots! declare what you want and stick to your guns. It's alreay too late to chicken out since the court marriage has been done. I just want the OP in control as the man. Tell her what you can afford and what you cant. She can cry you a river! be blunt even to the sister! Don't borrow a dime from the sister or whosoever, that'll sink you further into debt, remember you are already in one - the car loan. Without a steady stream of income, brace yourself for tougher times ahead! Work harder and explore avenues to earn more income. You'll stabilize with time, even though it might take a while.

For that your 'bride', you have a lot to do on that cry baby and drama queen, but you can deal with her by being firm. The match maker (bride sister) be warned, she's a third party - a trojan horse as far as I am concerned. She appears to be nice at the moment because she wants her sister married! After the ceremonies, she'll rudely tell you how she sponsored your borke ass for your wedding and how much of a slothful lazy lily-levered man you are. Thank her for her offer of help but have none of her further interference or financial contribution. The risks of contempt are extremely high!

DO NOT have a hand in spilling the blood of that baby, not even by being mute or playing the 'you can do whatever card', remember the baby is not only innocent, but your child as well!

Above all, pray! It works!

Apt

Duru009:



I don't think you read the story very well.
Read it again and again!.

Marriage for them wouldn't work at all.
Take it or leave it !!


Just a matter of TIME

Well, I can't say. The op is even making a mistake taking money from the bride's sister. Haba. Let's have dignity abeg

Ideenigeria:
The vendor posting this service is a scammer...
I sent him money for data ad has since blocked me...
Please beware.

Thanks. Was even considering to patronize him

Beatswim:
your theories here are really juicy... And looks quite well to read.. Claps but sorry to tell that the Bible is not a science.. It standard doesn't change and the Bible dint trivialize the issue of pregnancy and premarital sex that u mentioned here.. Hebrews 13 vs 4 is clear and cant be twisted.. If the marriage is not honorable i. e let the bed be undefiled....am sorry the foundation will be faulty

Oga...

Rahab was a hoe!

By all intents and purposes, she isn't supposed to be one of the only three women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.
But hey.. she's there.

Ditto Ruth... Who isn't an Israelite.. she's from Moab.. an unholy people. A people God himself abhorred his people from marrying.. yet surprise-surprise... She's also mentioned as one of Jesus's human ancestors.

These two people I mentioned both married Israelites. And if by going be your "holiness"
doctrine, had VERY faulty foundations yet God approved their marriages and even ALLOWED them become ancestors of our Lord Jesus Christ.

And yet, you still think virginity is a prime factor in holy matrimony?!

Omo.. you're still sitting on a long thing.

djon78:



This is wisdom!!!!
What gives us peace and blessings doesn't look attractive!!

Thot I was the only one dat captured it

ladyGKilaBCrueD:
I aint gonna yansh you

yanch me ,are u a man ?