We’ve been conditioned by society and our surroundings to care about everything. This causes us to be pulled in countless directions, and to lose focus on the things that truly matter.
I’ve been struggling with this whole my life and I still need constant reminders.
To stop giving a damn about irrelevant things means freeing up your mind, and allowing peace and tranquility to flourish in your life. We can’t expect ourselves to let all things go at once. Just take it day by day, moment by moment.
Whenever something forces itself upon your notice, ask yourself:
“Is this relevant?”
With this article, I aim to bring calmness, focus and simplicity in your life. But I have to warn you, I didn’t hold back.
Stop giving a damn about the following things.

1. *Endless Political Wars*
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” — Groucho Marx
Politics by itself will never improve your life, instead it will invoke
constant complaining instead of creating.
you giving away your power, tranquility, and control.
useless arguments with friends and family.
forcing you to take sides you don’t even want to be a part of.
obeying rules you had no say in, even though you think you did.

2. *Social Movements And Sexual Orientation*
I know I might get some heat from saying this, but I’m going to say it anyway.
Most of the social movements begin with a viable concept, but often turn into a destructive entity that causes feelings getting hurt, people becoming repressed, and mental wars being held.
I’m sorry to say, but I’m not a capitalist, racist, feminist, socialist, atheist, fascist, purist, fat-shamist, and whatever else “-ist” they keep coming up with these days.
I’m simply a man trying to help people with my writing without hurting others in the process. You are not obligated to follow the mob if you don’t share the same core values and beliefs. You don’t owe them your life.

3. *Your “Enemies”*
When someone insults you, question the competence of the insulter.
What are his values?
What does he focus on?
How does she spend most of her time and energy?
What sort of life is she living?
Would you completely trade places with this person?
If the answer is no, then why would you care what this person says?
When people complain about someone, criticize someone, or ridicule an individual, most often they are jealous of that person having something they don’t, but really want.
Through the eyes of a negative person, you can see yourself in a spectacular way. Every negative thing they think about you is the complete opposite, and it’s because they wish they had that very thing you possess.
Don’t let anger torment you. If you don’t feel harmed, you won’t be harmed. Instead, keep improving your skills and pushing the envelope. Keep increasing the distance between you and those frustrated people. Let them rot in their own weaknesses.

4. *What Other People Think, Say, And Do*
Know what matters to you and do the uncomfortable things that will make you grow in the direction you want to go. Ruthlessly say no to everything irrelevant.
Always right before you do something big, people will say that you can’t do it. Ignore them. Even if you go down, you will do so your terms.
It doesn’t matter what they say and do, only what you do. Do what’s right for you and the people you value.
Be selective in who you listen to. And even then, don’t follow advice blindly.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius
If you listen too much to other people, their opinion becomes your opinion, their fears become your fears, their habits become your habits, and their limits become your limits.
5. Idiotic Arguments About Sports, Music, And Films
You like what you like and you like who you like. Respect that everyone else has that same right.

6. *The Daily News*
Stop consuming endless amounts of information that doesn’t serve you, concern you, or motivate you.
The newsrooms need ratings, therefore they display mostly the ugly, shocking things of the world in order to hook you to their channel. The amount of time you spend watching the news should be reserved for better things. If you really want to be updated about world affairs, just wait until someone tells you on the streets. It’s what people mostly talk about anyway.

7. Permission And Approval
Waiting for permission literally means putting your life in someone else’s hands. Why would you ever do that? You give yourself permission, even if nobody approves. Approval means nothing. Stop putting your future on hold by letting external entities hold you back.
Be pro-active, take full responsibility, and pursue your personal legend.
Tom Kuegler wrote a great article about how to figure out what you want to do with your life.
It’s better to look back on life and say “Wow, I can’t believe I actually did that” instead of “I wished I just did that”.
Regret is a life killer. You alone are qualified to determine your potential. If I only did things I was “qualified” for, I’d be pushing a broomstick somewhere.

8. *The Past*
Photo by Hugo Jehanne on Unsplash
Whatever happened in school doesn’t matter anymore. That person who cheated on you doesn’t matter anymore. If you used to drink too much alcohol (like I did), it doesn’t matter anymore if you are now improving on that.
The past only survives in the memories of your mind. It has no physical existence in the present.
I know that some things are hard to let go. I respect this and I relate to it. Most of my teenage years I was severely bullied, and it left a mark on me for a long time.
At some point I said “enough!”.
The best way to let something go is to realize that, whatever happened, doesn’t have to control you anymore. Take the first step in the right direction, find wisdom that can guide you, and decide to take control. You can do it. Yes, you can.
“Your new life demands that your past life be brought to the altar for sacrifice.”

9. *Negative Relationships*
People that doubt, hurt and disrespect you aren’t worth your time and attention. Those who bring negative energy into your life will only make it harder for you to feel happy and get things done. Get rid of them, because holding on to the wrong relationships will make you more miserable than just about anything else.
Surround yourself with people who love you and bring out the best in you.
Don’t settle for mediocre relationships.
Find those who share your interests and who love the same things you love. There is no shortage of incredible humans in the world. Adopt an abundance mindset, and go find your tribe.
Ever since I started publishing on Medium, I have met some great people that I would like you to meet as well

I wrote a detailed article about the essential aspects of friendship, titled “The 7 Pillars Of True Friendship”
Also check out this amazing article by Tim Denning! He explains the things you have to be willing to do to become successful, even though your friends are not doing them as well.

10. *What The Majority Does*
You are not obligated to follow the herd if you don’t share the same core values and beliefs. You can be a meaningful specific instead of a wandering commonality.
Furthermore, other people aren’t going to live with the consequences of the choices you make. So why would you sacrifice your life for their definitions of things?
Anthony Moore tackled this perfectly in this article.
“Most people aren’t healthy, fit, fulfilled, happy, rested, focused, or excited about their life. This is why I almost never take advic from anyone.” — Anthony Moore
Must you value what others value, avoid what others avoid? How ridiculous! Screw what the majority thinks is “normal”. Stop trying to be someone you’re not just to “fit in”.
The indoctrinated pressure to conform is ultimately self-imposed
This is what the majority is doing. You tell me if you truly want to be a part of that.
Marrying and divorcing
Falling in debt for education and real estate
Settling with unfulfilling, mind killing jobs
Getting fatter and actually rationalizing it
Normalizing/celebrating the frequent consumption of any sort of drug
Postponing their happiness by saving all of their money in order to be able to do cool “stuff” when they are old — wasting their young years in the process
Voting for a president who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about them
Publicly destroying the beauty of the opposite sex through religion, misogyny and feminism
injecting steroids and botox in their bodies to look “hot”
Bullying, denigrating, fighting, lying, judging, hating, manipulating, killing
Bleep. That.
If your opinions and choices in life are solely based on the opinions of people who pretend to “know”, you frequently forget the fact that people don’t know, and the beauty that lies in it.
The people who get what they want out of life are the ones who remain steadfast in getting it. They are unapologetic for that desire.

11. *Temporary Fashion Trends And Diets*
Stay with the classics. Gentlemen, a quality dark-wash jeans, combined with a slim fit white/black tee, and a leather jacket will never go out of style. Combine that with stylish boots or clean sneakers. Top it all off with a classic style watch and a quality belt.
And for the ladies, we love it (at least I do) when you wear playful shoes, and a colorful dress (or top) under a leather jacket.
As for diets, just don’t do it. Diets are temporary. Rather focus on leading a simple, but healthy lifestyle. You know what to eat frequently, and what to treat yourself with sparingly. You know what is good for you, come on.
Eat these foods 80% of the time
Vegetables and leafy greens = Fibrous Carbohydrates
Meat and fish = Proteins
Oils, olives, nuts, avocados, coconuts = Healthy Fats
Drink 2l of water every day
Eat this for the remaining 20% of the time:
Whatever you want
Move your body
Calisthenics = Bodyweight training
Strength training = 30–45min on 3 days per week, or every weekday without going in the red zone. Consistent volume (frequency) is better than irregular intensity (pushing yourself TOO far so that you can’t train optimally in every work out).
High Intensity Interval Cardio = 10min (for maximum impact, do this before your first meal)
Swimming, kayaking, hiking, boxing, yoga, etc…
And for goodness sake, stop “bulking up” excessively if it’s not necessary for your health. Aim for lean, strong, and durable. Feed your body only with the calories it needs, which is your total daily energy expenditure. For most people, this is between 1800 calories (women) — 2400 calories (men).
Combine eating healthy with moderate training and voila!

12. *Being Good At Everything*
Trying to become good at everything is an endless, ineffective pursuit. Truly master 3–5 skills you absolutely love and compound them. That’s it. I learned this one from James Altucher.
Example 1: writing + public speaking + listening + coaching.
Example 2: music production + audio-engineering + teaching
Example 3: cooking + making videos + organizing workshops
Example 4: handiwork + photography + Selling
Be strong in a few things rather than average in many

13. *That Little Voice Inside Your Head (That Wants To Keep You Safe And Comfortable)*
— Which isn’t even yours! That voice you hear in the back of your head is someone from your past speaking to you. It’s the projection of someone else’s fear onto you. You are stronger. Live for bold experience, not numbing comfort. Counter that sucker with discipline.
“Discipline equals freedom” — Jocko Willink
And I would add this ->
Discipline equals tranquility. Tranquility equals composure. Composure equals resilience.
“Throw a rock up in the air; it gains nothing by going up and it loses nothing by going down. Be that rock, at all times.” — Marcus Aurelius


14. *Drama And Gossip*
Remove yourself from the situation. You don’t have to lower yourself to their level. You have better things to do. Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people’s nonsense, repeat these words:
“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
or
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”
End rant.
Afterthought
I really hope this helped you in any way. Please feel free to share your thoughts, and add some nuggets of wisdom.
Thank you for reading!

what about...

- what people think of you
- failure
- how successful others may be
- religion
- whats trending/fashionable at the moment
- perfection
- what you see on social media/yeyebrity do

Arrange your posts in a professional manner na.

Nice thoughts.

Thanks for sharing.

Why didn't this make fp.
And we consume a lot of rubbish every day on nairaland.
Fantastic write up.