| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by missrosey: 1:13pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
I guess you're afraid that if you left, you'd be single for life... You know what to do babe... Just do it. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by nnaeyes6: 1:30pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
The knock part of it got me rolling on the floor.
Anyway,
That's ur part of the story dear.
When he tell us his we can then comment.
But for the mean time. Go and Marry and leave married men alone |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by dochenaj: 1:31pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
If this story is true considering it stinks of falsehood then you have no idea on what love is. If someone loves you. They will be blind to your faults and shortcomings. This guy is clearly not. He is just a jealous and clingy fellow, and that's all. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by whirlwind7(m): 1:56pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
I didn't feel like giving any advice because I believe you have already gotten tons of it already. But then, being a male and married, I felt I should just drop this single line and move on: If you marry that dude, you'll surely end up miserable, or much worse.Men don't change their temperament after marriage. No ma'am. Doesn't happen. Won't happen. Save yourself and flee. The state you reside in itself is a huge ocean with thousands of eligible males. Dump this one and free yourself. There are much better suitors all around you. 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Diavolo: 2:26pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
The red flags are staring you in the face. He is not gling to change but even get worse after marriage. If I were you, I will run as fast as my two legs can carry me 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by hadduni(f): 2:27pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Hizzy:
Oya chat sexually with your Colleague don't delete the chat, let your husband see it
he will buy Venza for you mean I think you have issues comprehending write_ups. The op never chatted any body sexual. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Honeypraise(f): 2:44pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
In my own view this man doesn't love and trust you,because where there is love,there is peace. You deserve the best and you have said it earlier that your dream differs then I believe should know the type of man that you need in fulfilling your dream,so decide on your own don't allow people's opinion or advice to put you in a lifetime regret and sorrow because they are not the one facing the beating and abused. God will guide you. 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by kaponeski(m): 2:46pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Funny thing is, you know the truth and it's still not setting you free... Leave Him!!! Love isn't bondage. 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Leonel55(m): 2:49pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Generally, when it comes to issues of whether to break off or continue with a relationship I personally don't like to get involved but the obvious red flags that are all over the relationship you described cannot be ignored
The purpose of courtship or dating before marriage is in order for the individuals involved to get to know each other before committing to a lifetime journey together.
The question you should ask yourself is this: can I live with or bear the kind of actions and reactions that I'm experiencing with this person for the rest of my life? If your answer is no, then it doesn't matter how much he claims to, or you believe that he loves you to a fault, do yourself the favour that only you can do for yourself: find a way to gently and amicably break it off with him. Genuine love is not dominating, possessive or aggressive
You see, people who are possessive in relationships like the man you described are wired that way by their own family experiences, damaged upbringing and flawed understanding of marriage. The capacity for change in such persons is almost non existent. It can only get worse. If at a time when he's expected to be at his best behaviour in your relationship with him, he is this aggressive, possessive, emotionally violent and is unable to contain his outbursts, jealousy and insecurity, what makes you think he'll start making the effort to change for good after marriage?
Marriage does not take away such bad traits, on the contrary, it gives them a conducive environment to blossom and get bolder. A man who cannot control his temper is not fit for marriage
The obvious conclusion here is that you're, with your two eyes wide open, walking at the shores of dangerous waters filled with sharks of all sizes. Continuing into marriage would be like you choosing to swim in it.
If at this stage before marriage he's "sniffing(sic) (or choking) life out of you, the experience in marriage can only be worse because then he would have "legitimate claim of ownership" over you. The "legitimate claim of ownership" is in parenthesis to emphasize the way the mind of such persons work
What you're tolerating is an unhealthy relationship and it would be unwise to allow it progress to marriage. Those asking you to be patient are either stupid, wicked, or both.
Every young woman looking to have a peaceful marriage should have the courage to break off early from a man who shows traits of possessiveness, uncontrolled temper, and all such garbage, before it starts moving towards marriage and it becomes difficult, and let the man know that you're breaking off because you can't live with or have a relationship with a man that has such traits
My advice: break of your relationship with him but do it in a way that there won't be animosity between you two at the end so that, going by his aggressive and possessive nature, there will be no retaliatory actions from him towards you.
If you do choose to break it off, do keep guard afterwards for your well being because such individuals don't take break ups easily
My advice to break it off is just what it is: an advice. The final decision is yours to make - follow or discard
I can go on and on but I believe I've made my point.
A word is enough for the wise!
I pray you find the courage, wisdom and strength to call it quits with him. I also pray you'll sooner than later find a man who will truly love you without all the baggages of a violent marriage
God bless! |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 2:54pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
hadduni:
I think you have issues comprehending write_ups. The op never chatted any body sexual. You're just siding your fellow girl She said that her fiance want through her phone and saw her Facebook and what's app chat with one of her colleague that's always funny Lol Na you no comprehend, go through that thread again By the way are you married? no vex oh |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by ebullient19(f): 3:05pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
I pray that all these advice will not be in vain. I guess that guy is rich that is why he is doing shits. please flee from such relationships.
I have decreed in my heart that any man that raises his hand on me will not see the light of day 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by alexmakaay(m): 3:11pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
okirewaju:
If I were you, I'll take off the current footwear I'm putting on and flee
A man that has verbal diarrhea is a turn off plus a woman beater and still insecure 
They will keep edging you until you fall into that pit. There is a difference between Wedding Ceremony and the Marriage itself.
You deserve so much better. Don't settle for less 1124 plus me liked this simple advice. @op, this shows the quality and undiluted nature of the advice. ..but I feel you have a low self esteem or should I say inferiority complex from all that you wrote here. 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Chaose: 3:30pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Please do not marry this man. He won't change, he will only get worse in marriage. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Barristter07: 3:32pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
Is the Highlighted what you want to live with for your entire Life ? Domestic violence is staring at you . Don't be a victim, it has killed many women 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gloniks: 3:39pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
@Op hmm if only you know the hell fire of a marriage you are about to stick your head into.................. you will run and Never look back Your family and mother telling you to still hold on maybe because you are off the age of marriage and they are somehow desperate But my advice is that you break up with him right now, even if he's rich trust me you won't enjoy his wealth in sound health Just like what's happening between my mom and dad even though dad has never beaten mom , he's not the jealous type and he is very responsible but there's a whole lot of emotional and verbal abuse and me their daughter is soooooo affected emotionally and they don't even know and my personality tops it up because I am an indoor person who doesn't make friends easily so I suck a lot of things in......so my dear I understand how you feel but Please no sentiment your man is on the way and not this one He's telling you already right before marriage not to work and you will be at his Mercy for your livelihood you don't have to offend him before he picks quarrel because he is insecure and the he will withdraw your monthly allowance, there won't be food e.t.c O feel so sorry like I should cry for you because you don't know how frustrating it can be because recently things excalated between mom and dad and dad said mummy should cater for her self she was broke and didn't have any work then and she would go hungry ........... she's catering well for herself now she was just broke then that's why I advocate for women building their lives and being financially independent note  my dad is a lovely man that cater for us just doesn't see Mom as part of his wife anymore and all these signs you mentioned are there but my dad has never beaten mom before love him for that) but please leave immediately, when you start feeling the heat of that marriage which you have started feeling now your family won't be there so take the bull by the horn #sorry for my long epistle just want to drive down my point 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by queenitee(f): 3:48pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
supremenews:
Is it possible to sharply write your email/phone number here? Then cancel/edit it later?
 Oyelamioyebisi@gmail.com |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gloniks: 3:49pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
gloniks:
@Op hmm if only you know the hell fire of a marriage you are about to stick your head into.................. you will run and Never look back
Your family and mother telling you to still hold on maybe because you are off the age of marriage and they are somehow desperate
But my advice is that you break up with him right now, even if he's rich trust me you won't enjoy his wealth in sound health
Just like what's happening between my mom and dad even though dad has never beaten mom , he's not the jealous type and he is very responsible but there's a whole lot of emotional and verbal abuse and me their daughter is soooooo affected emotionally and they don't even know and my personality tops it up because I am an indoor person who doesn't make friends easily so I suck a lot of things in......so my dear I understand how you feel but Please no sentiment your man is on the way and not this one
He's telling you already right before marriage not to work and you will be at his Mercy for your livelihood you don't have to offend him before he picks quarrel because he is insecure and the he will withdraw your monthly allowance, there won't be food e.t.c O feel so sorry like I should cry for you because you don't know how frustrating it can be because recently things excalated between mom and dad and dad said mummy should cater for her self she was broke and didn't have any work then and she would go hungry ........... she's catering well for herself now she was just broke then that's why I advocate for women building their lives and being financially independent
notemy dad is a lovely man that cater for us just doesn't see Mom as part of his wife anymore and all these signs you mentioned are there but my dad has never beaten mom before love him for that)
but please leave immediately, when you start feeling the heat of that marriage which you have started feeling now your family won't be there so take the bull by the horn
#sorry for my long epistle just want to drive down my point and please you should know what's best for you, people around you talked to you before starting the relationship, they talked to you before continuing the relationship.... for all I can see here they are just tossing you around.... you knew it was a wrong venture right from the beginning but they keep pushing you into it...... please stand your ground o...... fine your family's advice is good but please be able to discern they are humans too and can be wrong you should be able to know when to listen to their advice or not please you are responsible for your life ( this one said, that one said) please stop all these "they said" things an do what you are supposed to 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Hwy95: 3:49pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
The Good Lord has Shown You this man's Hand.
A Psychopath and you are still confused.
Pursuant to your written statement, a Liar, Beater, Violent Temper, ETC
My advice, : Should you foolishly decide to stay. Plan how you want your Funeral and how you want to be remembered.
Sadly a Parent will eventually Bury their Daughter. And he will move on to some one else
....PS . He will say you fell down, there was an armed robbery attack, you ran away, etc.
When it happens, MAy God have Pity on Your Soul 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by supremenews: 3:58pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
queenitee:
Oyelamioyebisi@gmail.com Copied. Thanks. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by charleoj(m): 4:00pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
My dear, run for your dear life. You don't want to died sadly. You will thank me later. 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by queenitee(f): 4:08pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
|
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by peacefulhome(f): 4:11pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
I don't like replying to thing as this . Because you will only talked and talk, still they will still end up marrying him or her.
@ op, pls do whatever your heart tells you to do. But if you were my sister having such issues . I will advice her to leave her shoes and run alway. Someone that has the order City to insult your sister, you think such fellow will value you as a person?
End that tonic relationship Now!!!! Before it becomes too late. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by hadduni(f): 4:17pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Hizzy:
You're just siding your fellow girl
She said that her fiance want through her phone and saw her Facebook and what's app chat with one of her colleague that's always funny
Lol Na you no comprehend, go through that thread again
By the way are you married? no vex oh It's lady mister! There is no going back and forth since you find it difficult to understand. You've added a point of view quite different from what the op wrote. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by bugativeron: 4:41pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
I know you want to marry him no matter what we say. But remember this, people don't change, they only cover up who they are until they have full dominance over you. Dear, you will cry your eyes out when he will start dealing with you after marriage. Regards and see you then, pls use this same username then so that we can remind you. dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
|
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 4:49pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
hadduni:
It's lady mister!
There is no going back and forth since you find it difficult to understand. You've added a point of view quite different from what the op wrote. Lady, girl or woman. No going back because you lied |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by bugativeron: 4:50pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
And you believe that. So you want to be used as scape goat for those other women to thank God they were not in ur shoes. He is saying all that to lower ur self esteem. dannyla:
The funny thing is there are women lining up to date him o. So he feels he's doing me a favour / I'm the lucky one |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by dam4sam: 5:55pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
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| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by hadduni(f): 6:00pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
Hizzy:
Lady, girl or woman.
No going back because you lied I didn't lie. I don't have time unnecessary banter. |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by greenalwaz: 6:08pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
|
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by peacefulhome(f): 6:18pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
[quote author=dannyla post=84965384]
Hmmmm,
She once told me she will die a sad woman if I do. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do.
I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either.
My sister, if any terrible thing happen to you after marrying that beasts , your mum will still be sad. Beside to hell with the best if he take to social media to announce to the world that you are no longer a Virgin.
You were R' , so it was never your fault. Pls stop giving excuse for this beast to keep torturing you. You are beautiful and wonderfully made.
Write this down, this guy will never allow you to earn your own money immediately after your wedding. He would do every thing possible to cage you, both financial and otherwise . If you think am lieing, get marry to him and see
Sister, make use of your head fast
Peace. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by supremenews: 6:20pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
queenitee:
You are welcome Kindly reply to my email |
| Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by babico: 6:22pm On Dec 17, 2019 |
some people will say listen to your heart , but i will say remove the dark shade you are wearing and see things for yourself because all those people telling you to remain with him will not live with 2 of you and please what you meet in a man can NEVER CHANGE, NO matter how you try when you are married and i will not advice that you as a woman should leave her business because a man, then you just want to be a door mat for him.
please now that you can sit and recount all he is doing that is giving you sleepless nights, please sit also and recount all the happiness you have had with him and compare it to the future because when you are in, it will be a very long road to walk back.
Please run if you love yourself. |
