Obedience
/əˈbiːdɪəns/
noun
compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.
"children were to show their parents obedience"

Submission
/səbˈmɪʃ(ə)n/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
"they were forced into submission"


I read somewhere, where a writer attempted to differentiate the two concepts. I can't remember the exact source of this argument. But if I recall correctly, the attempt to differentiate the two was hinged on "capacity" and "ability".

He argued that most women are obedient and not necessarily submissive. The "obedient" ones are forced to "obey" their men by a lack of "capacity" and "ability" to do as they "will".

My take

A woman is only truly submissive when she has the capacity and ability to do something else, but still "choses" to bend to the "will" of her man.

Notice the key words.

Obedience.
Submission.
Ability.
Capacity.
Will.
Choice.

A truly submissive woman chooses to go along with the will of her husband even when she has the capacity and ability to do something else. She chooses to desire that which pleases and alligns with the desires of her man.

An obedient woman has no choice but to be obey her husband because she does not have the capacity to do other wise.

The typical African woman before today did not have the capacity and ability to reason in a certain way. She was "obedient" and not "submissive", strictly speaking.

She did not have any input in the rules and covenants that governed society. She was not economically empowered. She hardly had a choice or voice when it comes to making key life choices like when and whom to marry. She was not allowed to enjoy sex and was not allowed to speak up about her sexuality. She lost her identity once she got married.

Key question remains, was she happy about all the above? Losing her identity? Not enjoying sex? Not having inputs in the ways of her society? Was she happy about her economic status?

Today's woman is in a transition phase. Still struggling with the values of the past, while embracing the new teachings of the day. The numbers are doing a see-saw, tipping one way, then the other. The women are hovering between liberal thinking to conservativeness. While more and more women have become economically empowered, educated, and sexually liberated, the conflict within the ever conservative African society brews beneath the surface.The blame can be narrowed down in main to women, who as mothers, teach their sons to retain the old ways, while at the same time insisting on liberating their daughters.

The result is that the sons are not ready for the kind of women they grow to meet, and the women are not ready for the kind of men they grow to meet.

In the past, obedience worked because of lack of education and lack of economic power of the women. Today, we are in a transition phase as many women have been educated though many refuse to be liberated mentally, sexually and economically. This refusal is a conflict avoidance mechanism adopted by many to fit into the conservative society they find themselves.

The woman of the future will be educated and liberated, having the capacity to generate her income and ideas, and to make choices on her sexuality. If she makes a "choice" to be with you as a man, it is most likely out of other factors and not economic reasons since she she can provide for herself. This will come me as a shock to the ill-prepared.

We need to prepare our men for this future. We need our mothers to give their sons the right foundation to cope with the woman of the future. The men, as fathers, need to accept the reality of the world to come, and foster an enabling environment. They need to man up as well as up the game, so their sons can have heroes and good examples to copy from.

The future is knocking.



Ability
/əˈbɪlɪti/
Learn to pronounce
noun
1.
possession of the means or skill to do something.
"the manager had lost his ability to motivate the players"
Similar:
capacity
capability
potential
potentiality
power
faculty
aptness
facility
propensity
wherewithal
means
preparedness
Opposite:
inability
incapacity
2.
talent, skill, or proficiency in a particular area.
"a man of exceptional ability"


capacity noun (ABILITY)

[ S ]
someone's ability to do a particular thing:
She has a great capacity for hard work.
[ + to infinitive ] It seems to be beyond his capacity to follow simple instructions.
Do you think it's within his capacity to do the job without making a mess of it?



Capability
/keɪpəˈbɪlɪti/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the power or ability to do something.
"he had an intuitive capability of bringing the best out in people"
Similar:
ability
capacity
power
potential
potentiality
competence
proficiency
accomplishment
adeptness
aptitude
aptness
faculty
experience
skill
skilfulness
talent
flair
cleverness
intelligence
gift
strong point
forte
knack
know-how
Opposite:
inability
incompetence
the extent of someone's or something's ability.
plural noun: capabilities
"the job is beyond my capabilities"
a facility on a computer for performing a specified task.
"a graphics capability"

What a Nigerian Christian woman needs is godly wisdom.

Lack of it is too obvious.

Here's how a woman explained this submission issue. I can't remember her name, but I remember she's a business exec. I tuned the TV and encountered the programme where she was being interviewed.

She said,
For a woman of her calibre who can take care of herself and travel anywhere in the world whenever she wants, she will explain what submissiveness means from her perspective.

1. I don't have enough money, so I meet my husband and tell him I wish to go on a vacation in Venice. He turns down my request and insists a vacation is not important at the moment.
I really need the break but still I accept and don't bring it up any further - this is obedience, not submissiveness.

2. I already have more than enough money from my business accounts enough to treat myself to a vacation. I meet my husband and tell him I wish to go on a vacation in Venice. He refuses and insists a vacation is not important at the moment.
I really need the break and knowing I won't be able to convince him, I accept his decision and pipe low until next summer - this is submissiveness.


The summary was that a woman is said to be submissive ONLY when she defers to her husband's authority despite the facts showing she could very well live, survive, and treat herself to a great life completely without his financial effort.
Every other situation is just women being obedient because they have no other choice.

crackkhaus:
Here's how a woman explained this submission issue. I can't remember her name, but I remember she's a business exec. I tuned the TV and encountered the programme where she was being interviewed.

She said,
For a woman of her calibre who can take care of herself and travel anywhere in the world whenever she wants, she will explain what submissiveness means from her perspective.

1. I don't have enough money, so I meet my husband and tell him I wish to go on a vacation in Venice. He turns down my request and insists a vacation is not important at the moment.
I really need the break but still I accept and don't bring it up any further - this is obedience, not submissiveness.

2. I already have more than enough money from my business accounts enough to treat myself to a vacation. I meet my husband and tell him I wish to go on a vacation in Venice. He refuses and insists a vacation is not important at the moment.
I really need the break and knowing I won't be able to convince him, I accept his decision and pipe low until next summer - this is submissiveness.


The summary was that a woman is said to be submissive ONLY when she defers to her husband's authority despite the facts showing she could very well live, survive, and treat herself to a great life completely without his financial effort.
Every other situation is just women being obedient because they have no other choice.

Would it then be right to say that this is the fundamental reason why women of old were deprived economically?

Or were they just wired to be dependent?

Taking a cue from the Bible to juxtapose with your position, can it be said then that the women of the Bible days were economically independent? Why were they asked to be submissive and not obedient to their husbands?

Just trying to expand the scope of discussion.

zomoears:


1. Would it then be right to say that this is the fundamental reason why women of old were deprived economically?

2. Or were they just wired to be dependent?

3. Taking a cue from the Bible to juxtapose with your position, can it be said then that the women of the Bible days were economically independent? Why were they asked to be submissive and not obedient to their husbands?

Just trying to expand the scope of discussion.

1. & 2. Yes, you could be right to say it is the reason why women of old were deprived economically, and you could also say they were wired to be dependent.
And the simple explanation to both situations above, is that they did not know any better.

3. The moment you bring the bible into it, it moves the discussion from an economic standpoint into a strictly religious one.
The bible admonishes submissiveness in all things regardless the financial standing of a man - his only requirement to earn submission is his love for his wife.

Unfortunately and fortunately, whichever way your bias leans, the average modern woman is not a religious woman - that she goes to church every Sunday does not mean she embodies the total essence of spirituality.
What we have now in the world are women who gauge the value of a man by how much he is able to take care of them and provide for them, it's not gauged solely on the love he provides...even though for different women, one can come before the other.