AshiraWealthy:


I saw it but if I may ask, what for?

Well nothing much but a private chat with you alone and not with all on this platform,now do the needful,ok?

eni4real:
They will visit and stay with you!!!
You can kick against your family members if you are not cool with them or paranoid against their characters and conducts. That is between you and your family members.. You know them better!!!

But you dare not tell your husband to prevent his people from staying... What is visiting without staying anyway??

Why must they stay? Is there a written rule that a couple must have family members living with them? Some of these extended families come for other missions apart from eating free food. Some come to sow seeds of discord between husband and wife, some come to monitor how you live and go and broadcast it to the rest of the family, some are there to sexually abuse your little children.

You'd think you're doing a noble thing by opening your home to family members whose real intentions are not known. Just pray it doesn't backfire horribly. Any visitation that extends beyond 2 weeks is intrusion period.

Waterview:
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

The only area I disagree is equality treatment.
All others mentioned you nailed it.

For most married woman: their kids come first, their parents, siblings before husband..

But they want a married man to put their wife first when you cant put him first..

A married man should also put his kids, mother, father, siblings, then wife in that order too.

Let us all be mad

I agree with you because this has to be agreed upon not totally restricting relations as some do.

Meanwhile in the aspect of giving newly couples some time to understudy each other,I think to me that should be done during courtship than after marriage to study each other lonely in a house. Because most of this decision of restricting or allowing relations should be settled before marriage not after.

Sorry in your case you have to breakdown as a result of the stress. Recently my Mum paid a visit and just left after my wife chose the best timing during children's holiday instead of combining the children's school preparations and her visits associated issue.
So I totally agree about the Timing whether staying or visiting instead of saying no one must visit or stay.

We stayed with them to become what we are today, so they have a mandated right to visit or stay with us.

Pearl05:
It's good that the newly married couple be let alone to know each other well and be free in their home without burden of relatives from either sides.

My brother who got married recently told mum that after the wedding she will go back to his station with them. To rest after the stress of running around. When it was mentioned to me, I said no way that she won't go yet at least let them stay together for the first 12-18 months alone before on their own to know each other well before she can talk of visiting.

I told her to rather come to my house and rest. She is here now with me and the newly married are on their own.

Sometimes , the man doesn't know the stress and pressure he put on the wife with relatives coming at the wrong time.

After I had my last baby, barely 2 months old hubby brought his mother to come and rest. This move was stressful for me because in addition to the baby that needs constant attention is elderly mum that had to be attended to. Though hubby helps out at times at a point I broke down and was admitted in the hospital.

So the timing of visit is very important.

As long as ur not staying permanently

Who the hell is that woman that will restrict my family from visiting me. Rubbish.

pocohantas:


Burn!!!

Walahi, na unfortunate people dey leave their house go dey disturb person o. Can you imagine Otedola going to Cuppy's matrimonial home.

This is poor people's problem.

You are just another proof women are low thinkers, you kept downsizing "relation" to father & mother maybe you should check d dictionary.
@ ur age by now you shuld av known as per parent it is so so rare to see parent go live with there married children,in most cases you can only see mothers in there son's or daughter house mayb after childbirth for nursing&support.
In most cases siblings are the culprits here, which is very normal as long as the stay is not permanent, even among d rich, siblings do go stay with there big bro or aunty ( local or int'l ).
Once again don't use ur woman brain to undermine family bond, both d rich & poor do it.

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

In as much as relatives are allowed to visit there must be set standards and limitations of such visits, that shouldn't be made to be a priority in marriage, let the visit be visit and not visiting to stay for a very long time because that is where the problem comes.

Women are low thinkers, very true.

So, where is the low thinker that birthed you?

Mr High thinker, stay in your house! Use your man brain to read and see the problem is STAYING not visiting.

Cuppy na person sister and I am sure she ain't about to be globetrotting to relatives houses. She is always snapping picture with her father Otedola. Same with the Indimi sisters.

Stay in your houses!

youwanbanme:

You are just another proof women are low thinkers, you kept downsizing "relation" to father & mother maybe you should check d dictionary.
@ ur age by now you shuld av known as per parent it is so so rare to see parent go live with there married children,in most cases you can only see mothers in there son's or daughter house mayb after childbirth for nursing&support.
In most cases siblings are the culprits here, which is very normal as long as the stay is not permanent, even among d rich, siblings do go stay with there big bro or aunty ( local or int'l ).
Once again don't use ur woman brain to undermine family bond, both d rich & poor do it.

So because we're married now our relations have become MONITORING SPIRITS. I believe one of the challenges is the feeling of Insecurity from the part of the woman. Because she wants to dictate what ever happens in her home whether husband likes it or not and as such she sees relations around as a threat.

There are ways to filter the bad eggs in the relations circle if found, than to say no one must visit or stay.

dominique:


Why must they stay? Is there a written rule that a couple must have family members living with them? Some of these extended families come for other missions apart from eating free food. Some come to sow seeds of discord between husband and wife, some come to monitor how you live and go and broadcast it to the rest of the family, some are there to sexually abuse your little children.

You'd think you're doing a noble thing by opening your home to family members whose real intentions are not known. Just pray it doesn't backfire horribly. Any visitation that extends beyond 2 weeks is intrusion period.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Including your siblings?

Yes! Including my siblings. My brother in-law actually stayed with us for months and it was OK by me. Some husband's relatives are animals, if you are one, I will frustrate u till you go back to your village. I personally have not gone to Intrude in anyones matrimonial home in my life and if you want to come and boss me in my home, I will fight you with psalms and bad attitude. I can tolerate reasonable husband's family,not unfortunate ones. Besides, everyone should have plans for his/her lives not come and turn liability for me in my house cos I also work my ass out to contribute evenly to that house! If you are coming for a visit, do and go when the ovation is loud as FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT

Ladycewhy:
shut up ,and I say shut up again. How you dolts in your clique always want to label people who don't follow your red pill nonsense irks me.I would rather live in peace with a simp than with an asshole like you ,just saying and by the way happy new year ,let's start from where we stopped last year ,by the way where are your brothers Martinez and the baby daddy hero of the red pill community

. Hmmm. Me shut up twice? No wahala. But why my comment vex you like this?.

WritePal:


Very true. If a man speaks well of and respects his family members to his wife in private, the wife will too.

But when as a man, you speak ill or poorly of your siblings & parents with her in the bedroom, she will dislike them and show it in the open by being intolerant and unfriendly.

It's all about THE HAND OF ESAU & THE VOICE OF JACOB.

End of Story.

You get the idea. Women are like children when they come into the life of a man.
They learn and adapt very fast. They are very smart too. They have their own characters and behaviors. But they usually put their behaviors on hold to study their husbands behaviors including how their husbands relate to their people.

After they have successfully captured their husbands behavior and understands how they relate with their parents and relations, they (wives) release their own characters and behaviors base on that of their husbands.

And they will release the behaviors that will suit their husbands behaviors.

If you observe carefully, you will see that there is no magic anywhere.

Women don't come out from no where to stop their in-laws access to their son house. Those women are only doing their husbands bidding.

The men are just hiding behind their wives.
The men are manifesting their desires to keep their families away through their wives so that their families will not know that they are the real culprit!

Many people will argue or deny this fact. But that is exactly how it happened and is happening today.

proclinician:
One thing i understand on this thread is that all the idiots here expressing disapproval are women and are saying that their siblings and relatives are free to visit the matrimonial home but the relatives of the husband, the man that owns the house and even the worthless woman are not welcomed.

This is ridiculous.

They both own the house. In fact, some wives are the ones that pays rent or contribute majorly to the house they built. If my sibling or husband's siblings inconvenience me in my own home, I will show you the way to your family house. I can't be a prisoner in my own house. I have accommodated husband's brother for months, I even still beg him to come visit a times even his cousin cos they are nice and reasonable, if you are not, I will frustrate you out, gbabe!

engrchykae:
good question,his type will train his wife's relatives while he will give excuses when his brother or sister demands for help

.. Don't mind them.

Adedayobusayo12:


They both own the house. In fact, some wives are the ones that pays rent or contribute majorly to the house they built. If my sibling or husband's siblings inconvenience me in my own home, I will show you the way to your family house. I can't be a prisoner in my own house. I have accommodated husband's brother for months, I even still beg him to come visit a times even his cousin cos they are nice and reasonable, if you are not, I will frustrate you out, gbabe!

Okay

Holyvet:
Well nothing much but a private chat with you alone and not with all on this platform,now do the needful,ok?

You sound more authoritative than polite. You know?
I will, when I wish.
I guess that makes two of us now.

eni4real:
Sometimes, we forget that we are Africans just because we want to practise modernization!!!

Family is everything!!!!

The wife must bend to the Family and not otherwise!!!

She will mature with time tho!!!

One innocent lady will fall into the hand of this bend down select man oooo. Family is everything, why leave them? Must you marry?is your wife not family? Even when you siblings are not acting right she should bend? Bend fire! You can only tell that to a lady looking up to you to feed. Unmarried ladies, watch before you marry. Some families are poor and jobless, once you marry into it, they will turn you to their office, monitor you, frustrate you, choke you etc. I have a stubborn younger brother, he has been asking to come pay me a visit I said no! I can't let you disturb my hubby. Some one uncultured, rude and lazy in-law can't come and dominate me in my home!

bigiyaro:
No! na you suppose raise him and who said you raising your kids is doing them a favour? of all the man's family, its the woman that is not his relation....smart men knows this fact, smart women knows this fact too hence they buy assets in their children's names, any just like the bible said, a wise woman builds up her home and a foolish woman tears down her home with her own hands.

This thinking is faulty. Once you get married, she doesn't become your relation, you become one...you are her and she is you. And what you can't do to yourself, you don't do to her.

Obviously, not many men especially on this forum understand the concept of marriage. It's a mystery to many. When you say "I do", you interchange your "I" with "we". It's not a selfish institution and its for the matured minds.

I am sure you won't look at your mum as an outsider that your dad just brought to have kids and he puts all his family needs above hers. No! That happy family you are seeing which includes your mum, didn't start with her being treated as an intruder.

And when a man is sick, incapacitated, etc, who do you think nurses him? His mum? Or his siblings will leave their houses to come and do that? That's when you will know that people can actually stay on their own and mind their business, because they will run from your house. My mum did this for 7 long years when my dad was critically ill. It's a good thing he treated her well the previous years before he fell ill or else...

Skmoda360:

You are still young, you will understand later.....a woman acting like a man is called?

I don't know?.

as long as they re compliant.

TruthHurts100:
I as the man don't want relatives coming in and out of my home. None of them will see my bedroom. None.

A real man you are. Not some kids writing jamb and contributing.

dominique:


Why must they stay? Is there a written rule that a couple must have family members living with them? Some of these extended families come for other missions apart from eating free food. Some come to sow seeds of discord between husband and wife, some come to monitor how you live and go and broadcast it to the rest of the family, some are there to sexually abuse your little children.

You'd think you're doing a noble thing by opening your home to family members whose real intentions are not known. Just pray it doesn't backfire horribly. Any visitation that extends beyond 2 weeks is intrusion period.

This is the case of evil relatives.
I don't subscribe to giving access to bad people in my home.

Zackattack:

I won't even be wicked enough to pray for my enemies to have someone like you as a wife.

my dear, I'm happily married with a child so focus on your own development first and when you're mature enough to divorce yourself from the apron of your family, go pick a wife. you think marriage na girlfriend & boyfriend matter? una eye go clear soon!!

YungJo207:



If your siblings first you get money then get married you went to his house and he tells you this your comment how would you feel?

Where was the person staying before?

Why would you want to move in with people that should be focusing on themselves those first years?

The first few years is key in a marriage. Couples fight a lot, they disagree because most times it's new for them and both of you have different backgrounds and do things differently. So that disagreements are bound to happen till you now try to meet halfway, adjust, etc.

At this time, you don't need a family member staying with you, taking sides, going to report one person to the other family members. They will start seeing that person in a bias way. But when you disagree and settle and handle your issues internally, nobody knows.

Visiting is fine but staying permanently is not advisable.

truthsayer009:


Ewo

I no want nonsense.

i get you sha, the rich do more of bullying.

It's just appalling knowing some men boys think like that.
They have no business getting marred then, rent a house or build one and stay with all your family members there.
ha ncha ndi umu nwoke!!!

pocohantas:


I don't hate them, I can't see what part of my post means hate. Did I wish them evil? Doesn't change the fact that it is common among the poor and average homes.

This is not the kind of topic the Indimi's and Buhari's will be talking about. If I were from a rich home, no amount of love will ever make me marry a struggling man. Their problems and mine are different, let's all face our type of problems.



Sis, it is poor troublesome peoples problem. Check all the stories and they have one thing in common, the relatives do not have anything doing where they are coming from or the financial gap between them is usually wide. Rich people are more of meddlesome, they like things going their way and standard. Hardly will you see an (mother) in-law with a hustle and space, come to leave permanently. I have never seen one!

If OP's relatives are all doing well with their own houses/apartments, I am sure the thought of them coming to STAY will never cross his mind.

pocohantas:

Any Naija man wey bring that nonsense mentality to my side, na me go give am the food wey go destroy im liver and kidney. Mad somebody

Ewo

Michellekabod2:

- Most ladies don't let their husbands mother visiting but they will want their own mothers visiting.
- They endure all excesses from their own family members but when its their husband own family they will nag over irrelevant things.
- I am not denying the fact that some in laws may be problematic,
- ...if a man can have his wife sibling live with them why should a lady have an issue with her husband sibling coming over?

Those are the highlights of what I picked from your post.
Fantastic take, really fantastic, especially that number 1. That's actually the main/real issue. Their relations will fill the house but they will never want to sight their husband's relations there. Demonic women. Female lucifers. Guess what? They are in my family!...here:
- First, an uncle's wife (thankfully, they've long divorced in 2005) - she was the person that brought witchcraft and satanism to my family, did so much havoc.
- And then one bastard satan/occult that so calls herself my sister. Started her evil works with in-laws - her parents-in-law dare not visit or even stop by to say hello. From there, she now entered her own family, satanic atrocities, including carrying out diabolic attacks on me. Well, y'all pray that you don't ever get to have satans, occults, diabolics, cultists, ritualists in your family. They don't know relations in their world.

I hope this is a vice versa case shar ooo
because I'm certain there's what we call equals right in marriage excluding the hidden fact that we all know that men are alpha in their home .
if the man can take such moves than he should at least be able to consider accomodating the wife relatives too (if neeed be).

AshiraWealthy:


You sound more authoritative than polite. You know?
I will, when I wish.
I guess that makes two of us now.

Oh am sorry,thats not what it is,not authoritative,not a command my dear,just a request;but please get in touch ASAP..once again am sorry my lady.