PrimadonnaO:
Kindly clarify your main points @OP, because it would seem you're speaking from both sides of your mouth.

Did you say your mum mistreated her maids, too?

The girl in the initial story, yes she obviously lacked tact for refusing to clean the house when she was asked. But if we have to be objective here, would it have been so hard for them to treat her like a guest on the first day?

If her refusal to clean on day one was what set the tone for her maltreatment, then her aunt who's a pastor's wife is such an unforgiving person

The children of the house will always have more privileges than the non-biological children, but it doesn't have to spell ill treatment for those kids

So yes, even if kids aren't your biological children, an inability to love them and treat them with kindness and consideration is wickedness. It's not a natural phenomenon that should be sucked up.

franchasng:
Cc: Tripitaka


First you are right, the poster of that first thread is a stubborn girl, maybe due to one-sided parenting for blatantly refusing to do the first task given to her by her host Aunt. I agree with that.


But then, that cannot take away the fact that the Aunt is not a good person, just like majority of married Nigerian women when it comes to maltreating maids, helps, visiting in-laws, etc.


So I still stand my ground that majority of Nigerian women are bad towards maids, house helps, domestic staffs, in-laws and those below them economically and financially. There is nothing to argue about that.


Only very few married ladies are exception and if you go figure out, such ladies probably grew up in midst of guys or their husband have been fighting them about the issue.

Tripitaka:


Maybe, the aunt is a mischievous person, we do not know as there is no evidence pointing to that.

For Nigerian women being bad, I honestly do not know but I was surprised that a host of females here were sympathizing with the girl. But You know that there is always a difference between our online and offline persona.

Hmmmm...OP had some good points here and there but majority were words in the dark...you never had such experience, simple. You know what they say about being more knowledgeable about the comforts of shoes if well tried?

The aunty had kids in the house but still managed to have a maggot filled kitchen, yet she took it upon herself to teach the new entrant how to clean. That's the basis of everything else, why didnt she teach her own kids this before the new girl arrived?

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...OP had some good points here and there but majority were words in the dark...you never had such experience, simple. You know what they say about being more knowledgeable about the comforts of shoes if well tried? Yeah...

The aunty had kids in the house but still managed to have a maggot filled kitchen, yet she took it upon herself to teach the new entrant how to clean...think about her "wokeness"! That's the basis of everything else, why didnt she teach her own kids this before the new girl arrived? By the way, new girl isn't a maid, she is her niece. And her reaction is very understandable albeit rude.

Anyways, I'm not going to dwell on the girl's rudeness or her expectations. All I know is I grew up in a family that could hold their own, had to spent 90 specifically days with an aunt so as to concentrate on passing an exam, aunty turned me and my sister to maids while having her own kids in the house....simple. Her kids stopped sweeping, mopping the floor, cooking, laying her beds and washing her cloths...those became our chores. Remember we were cousins of those kids in the same age group, imagine how unfairly treated we must have felt we were sweating it out while they watched TV! Please!

On a bright note, we learnt a lot from that encounter...we learnt the importance of treating others fairly, we learnt not to dwell on unnecessary extended family relationships, we learnt to do those chores better and learnt that Christianity is in fact a personal relationship with God, not a clearance for participants good behaviour. Our own aunty too was an elder in the church .

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...OP had some good points here and there but majority were words in the dark...you never had such experience, simple. You know what they say about being more knowledgeable about the comforts of shoes if well tried? Yeah...

The aunty had kids in the house but still managed to have a maggot filled kitchen, yet she took it upon herself to teach the new entrant how to clean...think about her "wokeness"! That's the basis of everything else, why didnt she teach her own kids this before the new girl arrived? By the way, new girl isn't a maid, she is her niece. And her reaction is very understandable albeit rude.

Anyways, I'm not going to dwell on the girl's rudeness or her expectations. All I know is I grew up in a family that could hold their own, had to spent 90 specifically days with an aunt so as to concentrate on passing an exam, aunty turned me and my sister to maids while having her own kids in the house....simple. Her kids stopped sweeping, mopping the floor, cooking, laying her beds and washing her cloths...those became our chores. Remember we were cousins of those kids in the same age group, imagine how unfairly treated we must have felt we were sweating it out while they watched TV! Please!

On a bright note, we learnt a lot from that encounter...we learnt the importance of treating others fairly, we learnt not to dwell on unnecessary extended family relationships, we learnt to do those chores better and learnt that Christianity is in fact a personal relationship with God, not a clearance for participants good behaviour. Our own aunty too was an elder in the church .

Asquare84:
i have once stayed with my aunt in Abuja, i will be the one to wash cars, clean the house and weed grasses, and fetch water. still yet my aunt will showed me how evil human being can be once you step your feet in their house ( she is my mother your sister), she will insult me to my root and till date some of those insult open my eyes to a lot things about my maternal people, but yet her husband that is not even related to me will always take me like his own blood. woman are wicked and evil

franchasng:
I said it here that every Nigerian adult have a dark tale story to tell about one or two wicked Aunt or sister-in-law that treated them like slave when they went for holiday or to live with them, that's if we can be honest to ourselves.


I myself being the last of the family decided to spend my after waec holiday in an elder brother's house in another city, this decision turned out horrible for me.

This lady (my own brothers wife oh) who even knew I didn't came to live with them or came from poverty, and even knowing how precious I was to my mother and how I was pampered at home like an egg decided to turn me, fragile me oh to a camel now working round the clock without eating


Honestly married Nigerian ladies are wicked I swear lolz

Sometimes I keep wondering if some evil spirit do jump in and possess Nigerian ladies once they marry, especially when they marry a financially stable man, maybe oh cos the same ladies commenting and reading these threads will still log out to start maltreating their house maids, helps, in-laws and poor visitors to their homes for no justifiable reason. Abeg ladies make una change...we the men making the money aren't complaining of people finishing the money, watching people feed from our pocket gives us joy and energy to work harder, stop maltreating poor people around you, stop maltreating your domestic workers and visiting in-laws, these things have negative impact on your husband's income and life span cos as you maltreat these poor kids and poor people, they cry silently and curse you/your family which can bring ill fortune your way by bringing hard luck to your hubby or even causing strange deaths, be careful Nigerian ladies, be careful!! Treat your maids, in-laws and poor people with love, they are humans like your children!!

I will go out to buy one thing or the other like 100 times in a day, even when we lived in a duplex in a very serene estate oh.


What gave me some succour then was that I was not alone lol


From the frequent errands she sends me everyday, I got to meet and knew other depressed, dejected and helpless teenagers like me that also came for holiday in either their brother's house or uncle's house or came mainly as house maids, and we will be sharing and discussing our miseries, and when I listen to some other's story, it seemed like mine was a bit better even though I was dying already

There was no phone then, only land lines and my family house had none where I could call home to tell my mom to come and rescue me before she meets my corpse


I begged to go back to my parents, but I spent a whole 9 months in that house of horror, but it was like eternity....despite the beautiful house and cars, I felt like I was in hell fire


All these experiences and more made me to promise myself never to watch anybody around me maltreat a maid or house help or any less privilege person before my own eyes, and reason I told my wife she must not have any maid and if she ever does in future for any reason, she must be ready to treat them like our own kids if not, I will send them back to their parents cos I can't condone it

sndk1:



Stop stereotyping host relatives as evil, it is not good, whatever firsthand experience you had elsewhere notwithstanding. in fact, you probably acted like the girl, which is reason why your own host returned your bad manner in multiple folds. and, the fact that you or anyone will believe the "maggot filled kitchen" statement and other subsequent nonsense allegations from a girl who blatantly refused to obey first simple instruction from her host showed that you are not a wise person. the host did not order her to go and kill anyone, she's just mannerless, entitled and lazy girl.

About the host's children, probably, they had more busy stressful day on the said day than to girl, so questioning why the auntie chose not to send her children on the errand does not make sense.

On a general note, first impression, if there's a need for it, on a situation like that is incumbent on someone in the girl's position not her host.

People should stop expecting royal treatment after exhibiting commoners' behavior.

Tripitaka:
Yesterday I read a post on FP about a girl who went to live with the aunt because things were difficult at home.
https://www.nairaland.com/5730436/living-aunt-pastors-wife-hell

It was a very interesting thread and while perusing the thread and seeing all the people especially women sympathizing with the lady, I couldn't help but keep wondering if all the tales we read on the internet about women and madams meting out inhumane treatments to their househelps were all fictitious or if these women and their accomplices are not on nairaland.

On the post in question, the girl made it clear that when she came in, the whole house was a mess and her aunt asked her to clean to which she vehemently refused, in her own words " I told her I can't do them". Now I ask, if that OP had gone to visit her grandparents and she was told to clean the house, would she have declined? If she met her own father's house a mess, would she decline cleaning It? I doubt. The fact that the aunt has a grownup daughter is inconsequential here after all the OP wasn't the one cleaning the house prior to her visit. What if the OP was not asked to clean the house, same house that will shelter her for a long time, would it not be a wise move to clean the house without being told? Again, the fact that she just came, is inconsequential.

She probably went there with the mindset of "I know I'll be maltreated, but I won't tolerate shìt, so I have to show them straightaway that I'm no pushover".

We are also ignoring the little manner of manner of approach and first impressions. You could ruin a beautiful prospect from the beginning. It would have been a masterstroke for the OP to clean that house out of her own volition or do it humbly when she was told or simply asked for the cleaning to be deferred till the next day. This singular act would have set the pace for a more conducive stay, but no she already had the mindset that she would not get "mummy and daddy treatment". In all honesty, I thought the OP to be rude and entitled. I could be wrong, but that's what I thought.

Now, my mom is a teacher, the old school type with over 25yrs experience and it would be an understatement to call her strict. My mom could starve you for a whole day if you threw away food, she does not tolerate the slightest of nonsenses. Growing up, we had househelps and my mom treated them same way. On the outside, you would think she handles them differently, but no. At a point, my dad stopped bringing maids, as he said it's better for my mom to tackle us in a particular way than another person's child.

On the internet, we all claim to be humanitarians, human rights activists, crime fighters, child right activists and all that, but most importantly, we are all human being open to all sorts of vices and tendencies. I make bold to say that no one would treat their help same way they treat their own children. It doesn't mean they are mistreating the help, it just means that there are certain privileges open to their kids which the help may not enjoy. Your kids attend a 200k per term school, the help attends a 100k per term school. All are good schools, but ...

I had a neighbour who was childless for 11 yrs, eventually they had to adopt a 2yr old child. The child was their crown, the wife could take a bullet for her. After some years, they had their own child. That moment, the wife remembered that the other kid was adopted. Then everything changed.

My point, do not go to someone's house and expect to be treated like their own child or family. Why? Because you're not their child or family. There are so many privileges you may not enjoy. It is what it is. This fact means that you have to put in the extra yards and also understand that the children of your host may get away with certain things, but you can't.

There is no justification for mistreating someone, absolutely none, so anyone who wants to argue must stay on course.

LordKO
Sisisioge
Dominique
Franchasng
Safarigirl
Mizwisdom

SweetCunt97:
But why welcome a visitor with dirty house and stinking maggoty sink? No welcome nothing, just to ask her to go clean the house.

sndk1:



Stop stereotyping host relatives as evil, it is not good, whatever firsthand experience you had elsewhere notwithstanding. in fact, you probably acted like the girl, which is reason why your own host returned your bad manner in multiple folds. and, the fact that you or anyone will believe the "maggot filled kitchen" statement and other subsequent nonsense allegations from a girl who blatantly refused to obey first simple instruction from her host showed that you are not a wise person. the host did not order her to go and kill anyone, she's just a mannerless, entitled and lazy girl.

About the host's children, probably, they had more busy stressful day on the said day than the girl, so questioning why the auntie chose not to send her children on the errand does not make sense.

On a general note, first impression, if there's a need for it, on a situation like that is incumbent on someone in the girl's position not her host.

People should stop expecting royal treatment after exhibiting commoners' behavior.

grafixdon:
Op, well said.

That girl is very stubborn, your aunty asked you to clean the house, you have the gut to say no. Someone who is going to feed you, clothe you and provide most of your needs.

I'll never take any relatives who doesn't assist or pay me back in anyway, you can't be eating my foods without being useful to me.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...OP had some good points here and there but majority were words in the dark...you never had such experience, simple. You know what they say about being more knowledgeable about the comforts of shoes if well tried? Yeah...

The aunty had kids in the house but still managed to have a maggot filled kitchen, yet she took it upon herself to teach the new entrant how to clean...think about her "wokeness"! That's the basis of everything else, why didnt she teach her own kids this before the new girl arrived? By the way, new girl isn't a maid, she is her niece. And her reaction is very understandable albeit rude.

Anyways, I'm not going to dwell on the girl's rudeness or her expectations. All I know is I grew up in a family that could hold their own, had to spent 90 specifically days with an aunt so as to concentrate on passing an exam, aunty turned me and my sister to maids while having her own kids in the house....simple. Her kids stopped sweeping, mopping the floor, cooking, laying her beds and washing her cloths...those became our chores. Remember we were cousins of those kids in the same age group, imagine how unfairly treated we must have felt we were sweating it out while they watched TV! Please!

On a bright note, we learnt a lot from that encounter...we learnt the importance of treating others fairly, we learnt not to dwell on unnecessary extended family relationships, we learnt to do those chores better and learnt that Christianity is in fact a personal relationship with God, not a clearance for participants good behaviour. Our own aunty too was an elder in the church .

SweetCunt97:
Just imagine! Stop normalizing abuse ooo. Child of the sibling you grew up and played with came visiting and the first thing u do is ask d person to clean ur dirty house? U no offer am water or anything o... Abeg u must b a wicked person. U for talk say na househelps u want na.

SweetCunt97:
Just imagine! Stop normalizing abuse ooo. Child of the sibling you grew up and played with came visiting and the first thing u do is ask d person to clean ur dirty house? U no offer am water or anything o... Abeg u must b a wicked person. U for talk say na househelps u want na.

safarigirl:
The host kids had more stressful day than someone that traveled? More stressful tthan someone who had to leave her father's house to stay with virtual strangers?

What Kind of evil person are you? You and the three people that liked this nonsense are sadists and masochist's. You have a history of abuse in your family

I'm so pissed off by this nonsense. If there was Child Protective Services in Nigeria, most of you would never be allowed to have kids.

Nobody is passing any narrative, but for you to endorse this kind of behavior, you must be an evil relative as well.

May God not allow us to die and leave our kids behind with people like you.

And as for the OP, the next time you want to start such a vile thread that supports child abuse and domestic abuse, don't you EVER tag me in it. I could have gone my whole life without reading the rubbish you lot are writing here. Nonsense.

grafixdon:


I'm very wicked, I know. But stop being emotional. Put yourself in her sister's shoes, you have a sister inlaw who does absolutely nothing than to seat and watch Telemundo, no help whatsoever, just to wake up and eat your food, how would u feel? I'm sure you'll never take that shit.