There is this friend of mine a guy who got out of a long term relationship so when he met/approached me, he was trying to holla. But as we got closer and hung out more as friends, he kept emphasizing on the fact, he was just dating, no relationship, he wants to take his time and all that. I told him that was fine with me because I was not even interested in a relationship yet so we got closer, you know friends.
Then one day, he asked me if I liked him, of course I laughed like it was a joke especially when everyday he would be emphasizing to me "we are just friends" which I fought with him on numerous occasions because I wasn't even doing anything with him to suggest other wise, we were just friends.
He later admitted to me, he has started to have feelings for me and is very attracted to me and even one day sent me a message "I love you".

I don't know what to do now because I love our friendship, closeness, maybe like him too but am i really ready for a relationship, I am not sure yet. Was just enjoying the way we were. What do I do in this case, in order not to lose him totally in this case?

He once told u dat n u accepted?
U 2 tell him na
frnds r 4eva

in this case the decision is your's dear
do you really feel you want to take that friendship you two both has to a relationship level?
because you said you weren't ready for nothing serious

maybe like him too but am i really ready for a relationship

you need to sit down and answer that question

Just ponder on what u really want,ur heart will guide u.

Well its up 2 u. Only u can tell wen u are ready.

It is said and have proven that, when you include sex (relationships) in a friendship it changes the whole friendship thing, and it will never get back to what it was. No one can tell you what to do or where your heart is leaning to most. Think it out carefully and make your decision.

I am very sure that when sex comes in the whole friendship thing would never be the same again.

Are you ready to give up the friendship?

Base on your speech your majesty,l smell u love the guy already by saying u don't want to lose him totally?.
l here suggest you give it a try with caution,b/c if l advice to stay clear,u ill not be happy baby,l'm l right?

y me:

in this case the decision is your's dear
do you really feel you want to take that friendship you two both has to a relationship level?
because you said you weren't ready for nothing serious

you need to sit down and answer that question

go through this

Shakespear said, "A boy&a girl can neva be friends 4eva".Lincoln said, "Friendship is d starting step 4 what we call luv".Wrdswrth said,"Proposing a boy or girl 4 friendship is nothing but indirectly saying, i like u".Jackie Chan said,"Luv is an everlasting friendship".Michael Jackson said,"If 1 can become ur best friend, then he/she can easily become ur life partner".
The ball is in ur court but dont base the relationship on sex.

Listen to your heart and follow what is telling you, remember great friendship from the start is a good foundation of deeper relationship.

gbengress1:

Shakespear said, "A boy&a girl can neva be friends 4eva".Lincoln said, "Friendship is d starting step 4 what we call luv".Wrdswrth said,"Proposing a boy or girl 4 friendship is nothing but indirectly saying, i like u".Jackie Chan said,"Luv is an everlasting friendship".Michael Jackson said,"If 1 can become your best friend, then he/she can easily become your life partner".
The ball is in your court but dont base the relationship on sex.

True talk . . .
one step at a time . . . a close friend of mine who asked me out for 2 years but i said no to preserve our friendship, now we are not even on talking terms because of a misunderstanding so this friendship you are trying to protect may not even be for the best or it may be, who knows?

Oh pathetic creature of nature.

Follow your heart with your eyes wide open and your brains switched on.

Do not let anyone use you, but appreciate and treasure you.

Just ponder on what u really want,your heart will guide u.

, and look beyond what you see!

@Poster
it doesnt matter what HE wants, if YOU are not ready or willing to have a relationship with him then say so and let HIM accept it or bounce.
if he has a problem with it then this friendship was not meant to be, et voila!

How long has your friend been broken up and how long have you two been "hanging" out together will play a big part in this.  Because if he is recently broken up, then more than likely you will become a rebound.  So you truly want to be extra careful with this.  It maybe possible that he do "love" you, but it could be only as a friend. 

He told you in the beginning that he is fresh out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything "serious" right now.  That don't necessarily mean that his feelings can't change too.  How do YOU feel about this guy in YOUR heart?  Are you comfortable leaving things as they way there are or do you want to try escalating this into a "relationship"? 

In my opinion, I would just go with the flow.  I'm not sure if you two had "relations" yet, but that will also cloud your judgement and his too!  If you two are intimate right now, I say you may want to chill on that until you figure out exactly what you want out this relationship.  I'm not saying yall can't go hang out and kick it in that sense. But the intimacy definitely needs to be placed on hold until you figure out what you want and if either of you want to keep things as they are as good FWB or turn it into a romance.

Lacrissa:

I love our friendship, closeness, maybe like him too but am i really ready for a relationship, I am not sure yet. Was just enjoying the way we were.

Start with that.

I think the OP already mentioned that they are not having a sexual relationship, I think?

I have to agree with what a lot of people are already saying, and suggest that you really think about it. I know you said that you are not sure, but it comes across to me like you are attracted to him. You mentioned that you are enjoying the closeness, but you really have to think if it is the closeness of just friends. Is your relationship strictly like the one you share with your other friends?

Are you guys dating already (wasn't sure about that part)? You have to ask yourself what exactly is holding you back from a relationship from this guy. Are you afraid of something? Have you had other bad experiences? If you are dating, and you enjoy his company and the time you are spending together it is only normal that it would escalate into a relationship.

One more thing that you need to think about is the implications of continuing, or discontinuing. Would you be able to handle the fact that he may pull away from you if you say no? Or would it bother you if he started seeing someone else? What exactly would change if you were in a relationship with him and would you be okay with that?

iice:

Did you break up with your guy?

Yeah i did.

y me:

in this case the decision is your's dear
do you really feel you want to take that friendship you two both has to a relationship level?
because you said you weren't ready for nothing serious

you need to sit down and answer that question

I'm even confused. i'm not ready for anything serious doesn't mean I would welcome one if it happened at the right time. Maybe I feel we are too close or is he ready and all that.

Carolece:

It is said and have proven that, when you include sex (relationships) in a friendship it changes the whole friendship thing, and it will never get back to what it was. No one can tell you what to do or where your heart is leaning to most. Think it out carefully and make your decision.

Osama10:

I am very sure that when sex comes in the whole friendship thing would never be the same again.

Are you ready to give up the friendship?

Yeah i know sex def changes everything. The most we have done is make out as in just a passionate kiss but we were both confused if we are ready and if it's the both of us. Right now I am still thinking are we already too close? We make jokes, tease each other and open up at the same time, he is a dateable guy.

PTBNaija:

I think the OP already mentioned that they are not having a sexual relationship, I think?

I have to agree with what a lot of people are already saying, and suggest that you really think about it. I know you said that you are not sure, but it comes across to me like you are attracted to him. You mentioned that you are enjoying the closeness, but you really have to think if it is the closeness of just friends. Is your relationship strictly like the one you share with your other friends?

Are you guys dating already (wasn't sure about that part)? You have to ask yourself what exactly is holding you back from a relationship from this guy. Are you afraid of something? Have you had other bad experiences? If you are dating, and you enjoy his company and the time you are spending together it is only normal that it would escalate into a relationship.

One more thing that you need to think about is the implications of continuing, or discontinuing. Would you be able to handle the fact that he may pull away from you if you say no? Or would it bother you if he started seeing someone else? What exactly would change if you were in a relationship with him and would you be okay with that?

When he met me and approached me, he was hollering. So it was more like we went on dates to know each other and he was falling but he was still healing from his relationship and said he wants nothing serious, that we would just be friends which I agreed because I wasn't ready. Though we did kiss on some occasions but that was about it. Now him telling me he does like me and is attracted made me confused. I just smiled and told him I didn't know he did. I would not want to lose him in anyway but how do I even go about it? maybe I am too comfortable the way we are.

livedit:

How long has your friend been broken up and how long have you two been "hanging" out together will play a big part in this.  Because if he is recently broken up, then more than likely you will become a rebound.  So you truly want to be extra careful with this.  It maybe possible that he do "love" you, but it could be only as a friend. 

He told you in the beginning that he is fresh out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything "serious" right now.  That don't necessarily mean that his feelings can't change too.  How do YOU feel about this guy in YOUR heart?  Are you comfortable leaving things as they way there are or do you want to try escalating this into a "relationship"? 

In my opinion, I would just go with the flow.  I'm not sure if you two had "relations" yet, but that will also cloud your judgement and his too!  If you two are intimate right now, I say you may want to chill on that until you figure out exactly what you want out this relationship.  I'm not saying yall can't go hang out and kick it in that sense. But the intimacy definitely needs to be placed on hold until you figure out what you want and if either of you want to keep things as they are as good FWB or turn it into a romance.

No we have not had sex yet. I do like him but I feel I have gotten too comfortable with the friendship part but at the same time, he is someone I could date. maybe i just wasn't expecting it especially when he has over emphasized on the being friends part.

mediatrix8:

Listen to your heart and follow what is telling you, remember great friendship from the start is a good foundation of deeper relationship.

Lol, I don't know what my heart is telling me. All I know is he is very good looking and above all, he treats me sooooo well!

MRbrownJAY:

@Poster
it doesnt matter what HE wants, if YOU are not ready or willing to have a relationship with him then say so and let HIM accept it or bounce.
if he has a problem with it then this friendship was not meant to be, et voila!

I didn't tell him anything, just smiled and we are still talking but have not brought it up again.

Is anything wrong if you take it a step higher now?

Odunnu:

Is anything wrong if you take it a step higher now?

Nothing wrong at all. Just confused.

He's everythn you want/desire in a man. Give it a chance. Go for it.

Maybe I feel we are already too close for comfort as in friends that tease each other and share almost everything so I don't know how the intimate part would be though we have made out (kissed) on few occasions.

My dear, go for him. There's a whole lot of rubbish out there that go by the gender 'male', if ths guy is a man in every letter,then you are good to go. Go for him

Love doctors everywhere
Infact, i'm quite impressed at the comments here.
Poster, you have a wealth of choices. Choose wid care!

Odunnu:

My dear, go for him. There's a whole lot of rubbish out there that go by the gender 'male', if ths guy is a man in every letter,then you are good to go. Go for him

I just told him how i felt too that i did like him. phew was so hard but I think we both have feelings but don't know the next step to take as we have been friends close friends and tease each other a lot.

Ijele-igbo:




Love doctors everywhere
Infact, i'm quite impressed at the comments here.
Poster, you have a wealth of choices. Choose wid care!

I have already told him how i feel about him too and guess would let nature take its course.

People/Nairalanders answer please,

I have already told him and I REALIZED i am falling more for him but I still have to play it cool. Remember in the beginning, he was the one emphasizing friends which was what I only wanted by the way before he started initiating making out and his feelings for me. Right now , we both are still playing it cool but like each other. He is in a way not mentioning it again, maybe I should keep my distance or what?

HELP ALL lol