I just don't get why fathers are just too difficult. I'm not happy, just typing this with grief. This evening something just happened which made my dad say some things that hurt me.

He always get this feeling that my mom always side me and at any opportunity say bad things about me and also include my mom in it.

So I'm in my final year, will be 20 in some months and also a first class student, this made me not to do a lot of things at home( I go to school from home) because I focus on my book most of the times while also learning some skills online.

My dad always see me as lazy and not doing anything which is not true cause obviously he is not home up until evening.

And, he always find a way to blame my mom for this, saying she is spoiling me which i completely disagree with.

And when he insults me he says things like
I am reading for myself and not think
I am reading for anybody and am thinking "really". I think this is majorly because of the bond I have with my mom and I don't know how to deal with this. This is my final year so I giving my best to get the result I want and I don't want want anything to affect me.

I just can't wait for me to finish NYSC so I can start planning to leave.

Just needed a place to vent, abeg no insults.

Only a man will understand a fellow man

Your dad is acting the way he is acting because he doesn't want you to waste by so doing, he wants the best from you

But he has to use other crude measures to get it out from you

Do t let that take you down, be bold and strong with your rate of success and achieve good results which will make him keep. Silent over any other staments he will have in you

Don't take his words to heart, you may end up hating him

Just make goid results and he will understand that it wasn't what he was thinking

Someday u will know why.

donbachi:
Someday u will know why.

I understand you sir but I think the pressure should be after graduation not now.

frozen70:
Only a man will understand a fellow man

Your dad is acting the way he is acting because he doesn't want you to waste by so doing, he wants the best from you

But he has to use other crude measures to get it out from you

Do t let that take you down, be bold and strong with your rate of success and achieve good results which will make him keep. Silent over any other staments he will have in you

Don't take his words to heart, you may end up hating him

Just make goid results and he will understand that it wasn't what he was thinking

Thanks ma'am

African mentality + upbringing.

A mans life is complex. Don't be surprised that in the future your own kid will see your behavior as weird.

- what exactly is he complaining about?
- if what he complains about hasnt been done, isnt he right to think the way he does?

the reality with AFRICAN fathers is that, just because they may not say it when you do positive things, doesnt mean they are difficult...it just means they rather be quiet when you do good, and only voice their concern when you dont do good... and if mama knows about it but says nothing then she will be seen as part of it. i guess it aint easy slaving at work all day long doing your part for the wellbeing of the family, and coming home seeing that others at home havent done theirs.

Bookworm001:
I just don't get why fathers are just too difficult. I'm not happy, just typing this with grief. This evening something just happened which made my dad say some things that hurt me.

He always get this feeling that my mom always side me and at any opportunity say bad things about me and also include my mom in it.

So I'm in my final year, will be 20 in some months and also a first class student, this made me not to do a lot of things at home( I go to school from home) because I focus on my book most of the times while also learning some skills online.

My dad always see me as lazy and not doing anything which is not true cause obviously he is not home up until evening.

And, he always find a way to blame my mom for this, saying she is spoiling me which i completely disagree with.

And when he insults me he says things like
I am reading for myself and not think
I am reading for anybody and am thinking "really". I think this is majorly because of the bond I have with my mom and I don't know how to deal with this. This is my final year so I giving my best to get the result I want and I don't want want anything to affect me.

I just can't wait for me to finish NYSC so I can start planning to leave.

Just needed a place to vent, abeg no insults.

your dad really said the truth, say you become successful in future who do you think your gratitude will go to (Definitely your mom)? He comes home late in the evening no time for himself all to put you through school and food in your mouth. Be grateful

when you become a father the cycle continues,

Some people are just difficult to deal with. The fact that he is your dad would not change that.

Just endure till you'll leave the house.

I keep telling people, if tomorrow I marry a wife and she's giving me trouble. I'd just pack my load that can fill two school bags and disappear.

Bookworm001:
I just don't get why fathers are just too difficult. I'm not happy, just typing this with grief. This evening something just happened which made my dad say some things that hurt me.

He always get this feeling that my mom always side me and at any opportunity say bad things about me and also include my mom in it.

So I'm in my final year, will be 20 in some months and also a first class student, this made me not to do a lot of things at home( I go to school from home) because I focus on my book most of the times while also learning some skills online.

My dad always see me as lazy and not doing anything which is not true cause obviously he is not home up until evening.

And, he always find a way to blame my mom for this, saying she is spoiling me which i completely disagree with.

And when he insults me he says things like
I am reading for myself and not think
I am reading for anybody and am thinking "really". I think this is majorly because of the bond I have with my mom and I don't know how to deal with this. This is my final year so I giving my best to get the result I want and I don't want want anything to affect me.

I just can't wait for me to finish NYSC so I can start planning to leave.

Just needed a place to vent, abeg no insults.

This doesn't really help with your topic but I wanted to ask. As a first class student how do you study? I'm in 100lv and I wanna do my best.

My dad use to be like that. I thought he hated me.

Now he's dead and I have become main man. I wish he was alive.

Someday you will understand.

God bless.

fathers are there to instill manners in us, things mother wouldnt do, coz of their weakling affection towards us

CapedBaldy:


This doesn't really help with your topic but I wanted to ask. As a first class student how do you study? I'm in 100lv and I wanna do my best.

Nothing special, first discover yourself; are you a day reader or a night reader?( For me
I am a day reader, I find it difficult reading at night) This helps you know how you use your time.

Make sure you try to cover at least 90% of the course outline thoroughly.

Always get past questions to know how the exam will look like. This is very important as it will determine how you read the course.

If your course involves calculations, practice a lot of questions outside what you have been thought in class.

Finally, the God factor. Read as if it all depends on you and pray as if it all depends on God. It is not all up to you just as it is not all up to God.

I hope this helps.

Karleb:
Some people are just difficult to deal with. The fact that he is your dad would not change that.

Just endure till you'll leave the house.

I keep telling people, if tomorrow I marry a wife and she's giving me trouble. I'd just pack my load that can fill two school bags and disappear.

Yeah you are right about some people just being difficult.
OP should just take it as his/her cross and carry it till eternity, because even if you leave the house tbe father will still find ways to find trouble.
Accept the man for who he is and pray for tolerance.
If you are complaining here what do you think your mum will be bearing that she is not telling you.

Bookworm001:


Nothing special, first discover yourself; are you a day reader or a night reader?( For me
I am a day reader, I find it difficult reading at night) This helps you know how you use your time.

Make sure you try to cover at least 90% of the course outline thoroughly.

Always get past questions to know how the exam will look like. This is very important as it will determine how you read the course.

If your course involves calculations, practice a lot of questions outside what you have been thought in class.

Finally, the God factor. Read as if it all depends on you and pray as if it all depends on God. It is not all up to you just as it is not all up to God.

I hope this helps.

Thanks a lot. This is very helpful.