I had to remove this post cuz instead of people to offer ideas to help me out they were all criticizing me. I could remember the story of the adulterian whom people wanted to stone but Jesus said to them, if you know you have not done what the woman did, cast the first stone and all dropped their stones and walked away and Jesus said to the woman go and sin no more.

It is well with my soul. I have asked God severally for his mercy and he has forgiven me. I have turned a new leaf. I have learnt my lessons.

These superficial factors you mentioned - tall, fair, state of origin etc are not what sustains a marriage so they will not have any reasonable effect on the marriage.

Whether you marry your 'choice' or not does not really impact on your satisfaction in marriage. Even if you marry your first choice, there will still be dissatisfaction in your marriage by the end of one year; in fact, probably less satisfaction than if you let your parents choose for you or if you marry anyhow.

Edit: Based on the addition highlighting the detail of your own case, those criteria you mentioned are not what sustains a marriage. In fact, marrying a woman that you do not idolize from the beginning may just be what will make your marriage work because she is a second choice and she knows it, so will be less likely to misbehave. But make sure that the child is yours and that she has a potentially humble and submissive character. But never marry because of outside influence. If you do marry her at last, make sure that the decision is purely yours.

K

You already got her pregnant so marry her. The only advice you need is her big stomach.


There is no perfect marriage. It will be a successful one, as long as you two are ready to work things out

Her character is the major concern. Do you guys understand each other? Is there enough communication? Don't ever make the mistake of using the pregnancy as a yardstick to marry her if she is not a responsible girl.
Many girls use pregnancy as a trap to hold a man down. Take care of her and the baby but never you use that pregnancy as an excuse. Besides, many of the girls you see in the town already have one or two children but will hide it.

For heaven's sake, how the heck much is a friggin condom?

Thanks layzie, RisenPhoenix and tpave. I appreciate your words of wisdom. God bless you people for me.

My broda!

Marry to your taste and satisfaction o.

Marry your spec and dream girl.

I see people telling you it does not matter, brooossss it matters, a lot!

Marry someone you care nothing for and when(if) you start noticing changes in her appearance, attitude etc, you will grow to hate her bitterly because those things you don't like will become super amplified. Although it doesn't happen every time because you may get to seriously love the girl you never liked but it's a 1 in 100 probability.

Marriage is supposed to be forever, so you better marry who your mind, spirit and body welcomes.

What is pregnancy? Omo no let anybody force you do wetin you no wan do. Na man you be.

If you like, listen to all these nl people telling you all those things you look out for don't matter, oomooooo it matters. They are not the ones marrying for you.

Na man you be, let your decision be yours and yours alone.

Akunwafor:
My broda!

Marry to your taste and satisfaction o.

Marry your spec and dream girl.

I see people telling you it does not matter, brooossss it matters, a lot!

Marry someone you care nothing for and when(if) you start noticing changes in her appearance, attitude etc, you will grow to hate her bitterly because those things you don't like will become super amplified. Although it doesn't happen every time because you may get to seriously love the girl you never liked but it's a 1 in 100 probability.

Marriage is supposed to be forever, so you better marry who your mind, spirit and body welcomes.

What is pregnancy? Omo no let anybody force you do wetin you no wan do. Na man you be.

If you like, listen to all these nl people telling you all those things you look out for don't matter, oomooooo it matters. They are not the ones marrying for you.

Na man you be, let your decision be yours and yours alone.

No be small thing. Are you talking from experience or you are assuming?

The OP is mad. He can fucck a short lady but cannot marry a short lady. He can fucck a dark lady but cannot marry a dark lady. Tall, fair lady kee you there. This miscreant will still call himself a Christian, a Christian that sleeps around without being married, is that one a Christian?

LawBreaker:


No be small thing. Are you talking from experience or you are assuming?

Experience mehn.

If he marries someone that has at least 80% of the things he likes even if it's not all, he'll have a happy life.

It's just like owning a car. If your dream car is a 2010 camry sport and someone forces you to buy one cherry qq car, you will hate and use that car anyhow....aand still go and collect your friend's camry when you want to go for a wedding(apply that analogy to a woman).

Akunwafor:


Experience mehn.

If he marries someone that has at least 80% of the things he likes even if it's not all, he'll have a happy life.

It's just like owning a car. If your dream car is a 2010 camry sport and someone forces you to buy one cherry qq car, you will hate and use that car anyhow....aand still go and collect your friend's camry when you want to go for a wedding(apply that analogy to a woman).

U have a point. But there r times those things we don't like, at some point in time we will like them, get used to them and forget abt d hates in them. Take for instance, I got a corolla car, I didn't like it initially but now am enjoying it. But the case of woman is lifetime, but a car one day you may choose to buy another one.

LawBreaker:
Married people in the house there is something I want to ask. I believe all of us have particular characteristics in a lady or man we wanted to marry but later didn't marry them because of one reason or the other and married another person that didn't meet our taste.

Let's take for instance, some guys or ladies wanted to marry a tall lady or man, but later settled for a short one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a fair lady or man but later settled for a black one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a lady or man from a particular state and later married from a different state.
Some guys didn't want to marry this lady, but because she got pregnant, they had to change their mind.

People that married this way did it have any effect on your marriage or something like that.

My own case: I impregnanted this girl. I don't want to marry her cuz she is not my taste.
Reasons : she is short, I want to marry a tall lady. She is black, I want to marry a fair lady. She is from abakiliki, I want to marry from anambra, I don't fancy distance marriage. I am having a double mind but the pressure from people is much to marry her. I am confused and I don't want to make mistake. I don't know if I will be faithful to her and treat her right. So I want to learn from people who were initially faced with such and later went against it and did it.

Please I need more input before I make my final decision. Please mod can you push to front page. This is very important to me and it will help me take a lifetime marriage decision.

It shows u both are on opposite direction. Don't marry her out of pressure or guilt. Make adequate provision for her and your child. Stay off sex or use protection until u ar ready to settle down.

Marriage goes beyond looks or complexion because there I no perfect person. It takes grace and selfless effort from both partners to make it work.

Good luck

LawBreaker:

But the case of woman is lifetime, but a car one day you may choose to buy another one.

Which is why you have to marry the one you like. You can't wake up tomorrow and say you want to buy another woman...well I guess you could lol.

If I may add to your list you don't want a woman that had a child before and a woman who cannot be faithful but you want to leave two pregnant ladies hanging. Only God knows how many wombs you have rendered useless with numerous abortions?

As it is now, your body have no space left without blemish, yet you dare to ask for a spotless woman. And your ilks here that have sworn never to have any thing to do with a single mother can still tell you not to settle for less when infact you have almost nothing to offer.

realtalk19:


It shows u both are on opposite direction. Don't marry her out of pressure or guilt. Make adequate provision for her and your child. Stay off sex or use protection until u ar ready to settle down.

Marriage goes beyond looks or complexion because there I no perfect person. It takes grace and selfless effort from both partners to make it work.

Good luck

And what happens to the mother? No be single mother she don turn to? Who will now marry her?

APCNig:
The OP is mad. He can fucck a short lady but cannot marry a short lady. He can fucck a dark lady but cannot marry a dark lady. Tall, fair lady kee you there. This miscreant will still call himself a Christian, a Christian that sleeps around without being married, is that one a Christian?

I love very light skin girls but I still Bleep black girls. Just for konji reasons. It’s not his fault

LawBreaker:
Married people in the house there is something I want to ask. I believe all of us have particular characteristics in a lady or man we wanted to marry but later didn't marry them because of one reason or the other and married another person that didn't meet our taste.

Let's take for instance, some guys or ladies wanted to marry a tall lady or man, but later settled for a short one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a fair lady or man but later settled for a black one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a lady or man from a particular state and later married from a different state.
Some guys didn't want to marry this lady, but because she got pregnant, they had to change their mind.

People that married this way did it have any effect on your marriage or something like that.

My own case: I impregnanted this girl. I don't want to marry her cuz she is not my taste.
Reasons : she is short, I want to marry a tall lady. She is black, I want to marry a fair lady. She is from abakiliki, I want to marry from anambra, I don't fancy distance marriage. I am having a double mind but the pressure from people is much to marry her. I am confused and I don't want to make mistake. I don't know if I will be faithful to her and treat her right. So I want to learn from people who were initially faced with such and later went against it and did it.

Please I need more input before I make my final decision. Please mod can you push to front page. This is very important to me and it will help me take a lifetime marriage decision.

Bia Op, if you know where you took your bathe, better go back there and collect your cloth. Why have unprotected sex with a lady you wouldn't ever want to marry? Wetin carry you go near her?

Since your fellow men are advising you not to marry her cause she's not your spec, better heed their advise before you'll go and make someone's child unhappy in marriage because of your irresponsible ways. Which is why, once that child is born, go and collect your child and raise he/she by yourself. Stay off women and marriage for the mean time until you are sure you can take responsibility for your actions when you make them.

Akunwafor:
My broda!

Marry to your taste and satisfaction o.

Marry your spec and dream girl.

I see people telling you it does not matter, brooossss it matters, a lot!

Marry someone you care nothing for and when(if) you start noticing changes in her appearance, attitude etc, you will grow to hate her bitterly because those things you don't like will become super amplified. Although it doesn't happen every time because you may get to seriously love the girl you never liked but it's a 1 in 100 probability.

Marriage is supposed to be forever, so you better marry who your mind, spirit and body welcomes.

What is pregnancy? Omo no let anybody force you do wetin you no wan do. Na man you be.

If you like, listen to all these nl people telling you all those things you look out for don't matter, oomooooo it matters. They are not the ones marrying for you.

Na man you be, let your decision be yours and yours alone.

As far as he takes complete responsibility of the child (raising the child himself), he can marry his spec but if marrying his spec means him turning a lady into a single mother while he enjoys his life, I'll just say it like this: let thunder not find him in this period.

wickyyolo:


I love very light skin girls but I still Bleep black girls. Just for konji reasons. It’s not his fault

you dont love them rather you lust after them and it is borne out of self hatred for ones dark skin after years of being exposed to light skin as the standard for beauty.

LawBreaker:
Married people in the house there is something I want to ask. I believe all of us have particular characteristics in a lady or man we wanted to marry but later didn't marry them because of one reason or the other and married another person that didn't meet our taste.

Let's take for instance, some guys or ladies wanted to marry a tall lady or man, but later settled for a short one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a fair lady or man but later settled for a black one.
Some guys or ladies wanted to marry a lady or man from a particular state and later married from a different state.
Some guys didn't want to marry this lady, but because she got pregnant, they had to change their mind.

People that married this way did it have any effect on your marriage or something like that.

My own case: I impregnanted this girl. I don't want to marry her cuz she is not my taste.
Reasons : she is short, I want to marry a tall lady. She is black, I want to marry a fair lady. She is from abakiliki, I want to marry from anambra, I don't fancy distance marriage. I am having a double mind but the pressure from people is much to marry her. I am confused and I don't want to make mistake. I don't know if I will be faithful to her and treat her right. So I want to learn from people who were initially faced with such and later went against it and did it.

Please I need more input before I make my final decision. Please mod can you push to front page. This is very important to me and it will help me take a lifetime marriage decision.

Why did you sleep with someone that was not your 'spec' in the first place?

After you don give am belle, smh. Rubbish.

Sixfeetbelle:


As far as he takes complete responsibility of the child (raising the child himself), he can marry his spec but if marrying his spec means him turning a lady into a single mother while he enjoys his life, I'll just say it like this: let thunder not find him in this period.

Sweetheart, do you see why I open some of the threads I do?

OP cannot marry dark geh however, he can sleep with one.

If the girl was told to close her legs or ensure that the guy is serious about her, some people would rant up and down.

Imagine a groom to be telling us that his pregnant bride to be is not his spec.

LewsTherin:
For heaven's sake, how the heck much is a friggin condom?

Heard it's very costly now


Another child born out of wedlock or resentment added to the world

jesmond3945:
you dont love them rather you lust after them and it is borne out of self hatred for ones dark skin after years of being exposed to light skin as the standard for beauty.

Light skin is not the standard of beauty. It’s just my fetish. My first girl was light skin , I have always been lucky having them.
Others like fat women, others like slim. Stop judging what you don’t understand.

Sixfeetbelle:


And what happens to the mother? No be single mother she don turn to? Who will now marry her?

Marrying her will not guarantee peace. Both parties take responsibility. The guy has to keep up his child support while the babe takes responsibility of taking care. She still has a chance of being a wife to someone else.

bukatyne:


Sweetheart, do you see why I open some of the threads I do?

OP cannot marry dark geh however, he can sleep with one.

If the girl was told to close her legs or ensure that the guy is serious about her, some people would rant up and down.

Imagine a groom to be telling us that his pregnant bride to be is not his spec.

I tire ooh. I see it now, especially with the double standards men are displaying on this forum. Anyway that wahala is for ladies who don't want to use their brain. But if f you must do it, do it with sense. That popular phrase 'money for hand, back for ground also extends to mean marriage certificate for hand, pikin for belle.

realtalk19:


Marrying her will not guarantee peace. Both parties take responsibility. The guy has to keep up his child support while the babe takes responsibility of taking care. She still has a chance of being a wife to someone else.

Only if she isn't saddled with a baby. Since he got her pregnant without considering her as a potential wife, he should take his baby with him when he dumps her for his preferred bride. I don't even want the lady to marry him cause he'd make her unhappy in that marriage

I dont care about the OP I just wish the lady can see all these things he typed so she can jejely remove herself.

She ll find a man that will love her irrespective of her looks and she ll also learn to be better disciplined next time.

This guy really needs to invest in a box of condoms

I mean, Jesus...if you don't have any control over who you sleep with, the least you could do is protect yourself dammit..