[b]Nairalanders,
i would want to hear your verdict on the scenario elaborated below.

I reside in a rented 3 bedroom apartment with my Mom and my younger sister who is in her late twenties.
I was away from home most part of early last year on study purpose and when i got back i saw my room occupied by my Mom's younger brother,his wife and 4 kids(a 1 month old baby included).
My mom told me that he had some housing problem and she couldn't say no to his request to come and stay till the house he supposed rented and hope to move to would be ready.
I accepted but told my mom i would want them to arrange the 3rd room we hitherto used for storage for them to move to giving them a month notice but instead my mom moved to the store and they moved into my mom's room,but my Brother's wife fumed at this(not to my hearing,but i overheard her complaining bitterly why they had to leave a room with separated bathroom and toilet to go share one with others).
My brother's wife suddenly became a menace to the rest of the house,doing as she like.
Placing things where they should not be kept,hardly responding to our greetings,accusing my mom and sister of taken from her soup whenever she was away.
After 7 month(Dec 2010),i told my mom that i have had it and i would want them to move to their own place by February 2011 which my uncle accepted in good faith.
Meanwhile,for the 7 months they were in my place it was my sister and mom that takes care of the kids when they get back from school till their mom comes back from work late in the night  except on Sundays when she stays home.
Last week,she accused my sister of regularly eating the meal she left for the young ones and leaving them to starve so i told her to simply take her kids with her to her shop whenever she is going out since she has the gut to accuse someone that has continually helped with the care of her kids.
3 days ago she left the kids at home and went to her shop and my mom called her to ask why she would leave the kids at home after she was told not to,but she abused her,calling her a wicked woman etc.
She did same thing yesterday and when i called her to know why she would forcefully leave the kids at home again without begging those she accused of eating their meal to take care of them,she responded foully.
So i called her husband and told my mom that i have it to my neck and i wanted them to leave the house since the initial tale was they would be staying for a month and now running into the 8th month.
She came back late last night and my mom refused to open the door for her but she broke down the glass entrance door.
The husband came back much later and seeing what she has done asked us not to be angry and to be given time to arrange but the anger in me made me tell them that i am scared to live under the same roof with his wife.
This morning they moved their stuff out into the open(still outside till now),the husband went out to work and the wife went to God knows where with the kids.
I feel so sad seeing the kids go because i have really come to become very fond of them.

In between,i never took a kobo from them all their stay

Was i wrong to have insisted they leave?[/b]

I guess this is one of those situations where people take a freaking mile whilst given a yard. I think you did the right thing, not sure about leaving their things outside though but then if they moved them outside themselves maybe you should leave them there

That's usually the case with some people, give them a yard and they'll take a mile. Honeslty, I'm not even as patient as you, if I were you they'll be long gone, one thing I'll never do is to allow some family members (especially extended family members) to live under the same roof with my family.
Just chill man you've done your best for them.

Thanks man for the frank input.

1st i must commend u 4 ur patience in taking dat crap 4 8mths. Not many people,myself included, wuld hv put up wit such a situation d way u did. Thank God u took d rite decision b4 tings deteriorated further.

you are a real man brother for putting up with such a person for 8 months, you really try ooooooo, what you have to do o called your Mom"s brother and have a talk with him and hope he understand reason behind hour action and if he do not, then go for him but you did the right thing bro

Ungrateful and impolite, that's what your uncle's wife is!
I think they left their things out in the open to get you and the rest of your family feeling guilty, so that you would get them back, please dont make that mistake, whatever is left between both the families will become worse, it is best your shut them out of your mind for sometime,

You did the right thing.
Was it not bad enough that they got a big favour and were inconveniencing everyone?
The least they could have done is show appreciation and be helpful.
As far as I am concerned you should have taken this step long ago.

Broke the door in? WHere did you get that Agbero from?

femmy2010:

[b]Nairalanders,
i would want to hear your verdict on the scenario elaborated below.

I reside in a rented 3 bedroom apartment with my Mom and my younger sister who is in her late twenties.
I was away from home most part of early last year on study purpose and when i got back i saw my room occupied by my My Mom's younger brother,his wife and 4 kids(a 1 month old baby included).
My mom told me that he had some housing problem and he couldn't say no to his request to come and stay till the house he supposed rented and hope to move to would be ready.
I accepted but told my mom i would want them to arrange the 3rd room we hitherto used for storage for them to move to giving them a month notice but instead my mom moved to the store and they moved into my mom's room,but my Brother's wife fumed at this(not to my hearing,but i over heard her complaining bitterly why they had to leave a room with separated bathroom and toilet to go share one with others).
My brother's wife suddenly became a menace to the rest of the house,doing as she like.
Placing things where they should be kept,hardly responding to our greetings,accusing my mom and sister of taken from her soup whenever she was away.
After 7 month(Dec 2010),i told my mom that i have had it and i would want them to move to their own place by February 2011 which my uncle accepted in good faith.
Meanwhile,for the 7 months they were in my place it was my sister and mom that takes care of the kids when they get back from school till their mom comes back from work late in the night  except on Sundays when she stays home.
Last week,she accused my sister of regularly eating the meal she left for the young ones and leaving them to starve so i told her to simply take her kids with her to her shop whenever she is going out since she has the heart to accuse someone that has continually helped with the care of her kids.
3 days ago she left the kids at home and went to her shop and my mom called her to ask why she should leave the kids at home after she was told not to but she abused her,calling her a wicked woman etc.
she did same thing yesterday and when i called her to know why she would forcefully leave the kids at home again without begging those she accused of eating their meal to take care of them,she responded foully.
So i called her husband and told my mom that i have it to my neck and i wanted them to leave the house since the initial tale was they would be staying for a month and now running into the 8th month.
She came back late last night and my mom refused to open the door for her but she broke down the glass entrance door.
The husband came back much later and seeing what she has done asked us not to be angry and to be given time to arrange but the anger in me made me tell them that i am scared to live under the same room with his wife.
This morning they moved their stuff out into the open(still outside now),the husband went out to work and the wife went to God knows where with the kids.
I feel so sad seeing the kids go because i have really come to become very fond of them.

Inbwn,i never took a kobo from them all their stay

Was i wrong to have insisted they leave?[/b]

Done is done but i must congratulate you . . .I cant possibly have been so patient and tolerant even If i were single.
You did the right thing,Please don't change your stance . . .they shld go to their own place,period.
Good fences makes good neighbors,break the wall,become too close and familiar u wud lose not just your wall but your neighbor too.
Now cos u want to help u have lost an uncle and your peace of mind.

Mehn, With this kind wife, your uncle is in hell. If you can rent a room apartment for them, for the sake of their kids, that'll be nice. But if you can't, no one will blame you for that. You've really tried for them. Don't weigh yourself down with guilt. We are not God but human. And I wonder who can tolerate such to that extent. She is just an ingrate!

Guy, you really tried,I can not put up with your Uncle's wife for 24hours.

You are not wrong; infact you wasted so much time. Also give your mom and sister quit notice; you need your space.

Hope this is not how she crushes her husband too. the man seems to be the very quiet type and that's why she is climbing everyone's head.
omo u try sha

@ Poster

You've tried jare . . . Besides if you don't throw them out, they'll NEVER leave so the earlier the better!

I'D feel bad to see my cousins and uncle outside, having nowhere to go. I wouldn't have the heart to kick them out. That said, You've really tried. The woman is one big trouble, she seems to be the only problem. Some people are just ungrateful.

What about getting them a 1 room apartment? Since the man and woman work, they should be able to foot the bill after the first month of the bills being paid by you
[Assumming finance is the reason they've been at your place for 8 months].

Like seriously, why do some Nigerians always flock around the only person that's rich in their respective family. I get really pissed hearing about people that struggle but yet still have the audacity to have more than 2 kids.

Anyhoo, you've been a gentle man with incredible patience. Going forward, you have to warn your mum about taking such decisions in your absence. It's always good to help but not to the extent that you going to allow it affect you.

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jay bee:

Like seriously, why do some Nigerians always flock around the only person that's rich in their respective family. I get really pissed hearing about people that struggle but yet still have the audacity to have more than 2 kids.

Anyhoo, you've been a gentle man with incredible patience. Going forward, you have to warn your mum about taking such decisions in your absence. It's always good to help but not to the extent that you going to allow it affect you.

And they never let up untill they 'eat' the person to poverty. Sad!

Ujujoan:

And they never let up untill they 'eat' the person to poverty. Sad!

Piranhas

chaircover:

How come you are the one doing the chasing and not your mum? In theroy its her house and she should have the last say on who lives or who doesnt live in her house; after all she didnt consult you before she put a roof over their heads; and you couldnt have been more than a phone call away so if she wanted your input, IMO she would have called you

So I may be wrong, but I get the impression that all this is happening against your mums wishes.

There are always two sides to every story & All I will say is that to please tread very carefully when it comes to family issues.

You may get your room back plus another heap of unwanted family problems.

Jeje ni eniyan se aye. A word is enough for the wise.

HMMMM oro agba. How far na?

jay bee:

Like seriously, why do some Nigerians always flock around the only person that's rich in their respective family. I get really pissed hearing about people that struggle but yet still have the audacity to have more than 2 kids.
Anyhoo, you've been a gentle man with incredible patience. Going forward, you have to warn your mum about taking such decisions in your absence. It's always good to help but not to the extent that you going to allow it affect you.

Beats me too. Not only do they flock around the only rich person in the family, they also won't leave until they have milked the Man Or Woman dry.

dayokanu:


HMMMM oro agba. How far na?

Someone's got a crush on madam CC

Ujujoan:

Someone's got a crush on madam CC

Are you Jealoushhh?

The older the wine the better. I dont have time for all these youngings jare

,,,

Dont mind Uju jare.

How far as per our discussion.

It is understandable as a woman having to move into a man's family house because it is one kain, but it is taking the piss for 6 people overstaying their welcome for 8 months, accusing your Sister who was being used as a free babysitter of stealing and maltreating her children, being an ingrate and not appreciating your Mum giving up her own room, then disrespecting your Mother on top of it, etc


There is no need to beat yourself up over this, it was only supposed to be a temporary move pending the time they'd be able to move into their own rented apartment. I would have agreed you helped them financially in getting a place of their own, but your Uncle has a job and the wife has a shop, and your Uncle married her, and decided to have plenty pickin, so they are his cross to bear, abeg wave them good riddance to bad rubbish and goodbye to rada rada joo, the effontery

Bros Femmy, hp ur biz's good. U av shown enof patience. In my opinion, even wthout any prompting, common sence should make ur onkl kno that its time he moved on. Had a similar case. Our ex tenants upon a 3mth premise stayed 4 ova 10 years wthout rent. Left last friday after much gidi gidi. Mum dey fear 2 let again. God save us from ungr8ful pple.

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