UjuJoan2:


Maybe she didn't tell him because she knew he will stop her.

Let me paint this scenario for you. She grew up abandoned by her father as a child and the mother raised she a d her siblings single handedly. Sacrificed every comfort to make sure they all succed. She remembered how her mother would come pick them up as kids and they would trek long distances to get home, come rain or shine. Her father had the means but chose to abaondon them for her mother to suffer and raise them alone. As a child she pledged to herself to make sure her mother enjoys all the privileges she sacrificed to raise them. . . .

So tell me, if you were here, who would get the car, your mother or your husband? Bear in mind that the mother is advancing in age and may not live for much longer. Won't it be wise to take every opportunity to make her happy before life snatches her away?

Marriage doesn't mean you lose yourself or neglect your family.

In any case the man did not contribute to the car so what is the big deal?

Please attach is a similar scenerio, what is your take on this.

So many shameless and lazy men these days.
Let him mount on his wife's back So, she can carry him to his work place if he can't man up to save from his salary to get a car for his family.
I'm very sure she's even the one providing for the family. Your friend is an envious, lazy and jealous man.

UjuJoan2:


Why are men of these days so lazy and dependent on women? I just dont get it.

So if his wife buys him a car he will drive it happily? What about pride? Chivalry? What about self dignity?

That aside, do you know the bond between the lady and her mother? So because he gave her a ring, he thinks he is now more important than her own mother? What has he done to earn such privilege?

Lazy men everywhere looking to live off their wives. If your friend cannot keep trekking let him buy himself a car, simple!

but if reverse was the case were the man bought a car for his mum, you'd be here ranting senselessly.
I don't know why God removed brain from you ladies.

Dande55:
So many shameless and lazy men these days.
Let him mount on his wife's back So, she can carry him to his work place.
I'm very sure she's even the one providing for the family. Your friend is an envious, lazy and jealous man.

Oga cool down and read now

So many fake stories biko. This is a variation of earlier twitter stories.

Wat a wicked and jealous hubby, I presume. Was his grouse the fact that she didn't tell him or that she would earn more than him?

Lamanii22:





True what she did's wrong... It's like the case of my neighbour whose wife lied that she was going to visit her parents in her state(south south). Not knowing that she went there to accept a job offer... At Exxon Mobil... Or so... The man was so furious, he didn't want to accept his wife back o, he was narrating his ordeal to me although he was drunk... me I didn't see anything wrong there cause I felt she wanted to make their lives better.... She worked there for like a year sha, she had to resign to save her marriage....


We shouldn't just make decisions on our own... Let your SO give his/her opinion....

Sylverly:
And you are fully aware about the stress he passes through each morning, as highlighted. Definitely, won't let him take such decision of divorcing. Well, will try though

-You don't know the stress her mother also goes through commuting.
-You don't know if she made a promise to buy her mother a car a long time ago even before she met her husband.
-You don't know the dynamics between the mother and child, husband and wife unless you're the husband yourself.
-You really know little about your friend's wife and the circumstances around her family. Perhaps her mother may have ever sold her car in the past to pay the tuition of the lady in question.
-You really don't know
-You're just a third party in this matter so you cannot claim to know so much

It's a different thing if she was pregnant or with little children that you may justify her needing a car for herself, but she's not at the minute. Her husband is young and fit and can still undergo the stress of commuting. Her mother is older and less fit, may even have health issues she battles with and her daughter knows she won't be there forever.

rexington:
Please attach is a similar scenerio, what is your take on this.

Pls create another thread for that, so it can have wider views and input.

It's not reason for a divorce.
Perhaps it's the pregnancy hormones talking in this case.
If the worst comes to the worst, you can use your husband's car if needed.
Who knows if the husband is planning a car for the wife once she gives birth, and bought one for the mum first to save his wife from family wahala? His mother may also feel one kind that he bought his wife a car first, but now if he buys his wife a better car than even his mum's own tomorrow, nobody will talk.

However, in the case of the OP, even the wife doesnt have a car for herself, yet she decided to buy one for her mother first. There is a reason she did this, so you people should allow her free her conscience.

rexington:
Please attach is a similar scenerio, what is your take on this.

Is the lady's husband pregnant? Is his calf swollen and his stomach the size of an elephant? Is he breeding, not just his bur THEIR child? How is it that you can't see that the two scenarios are completely different.

That he bought his mother a car is not even the problem here. He is driving a car himself and is letting his pregnant wife jump buses. That's where I have a problem.

Is it that you guys dont get the fact that a man ought to provide and cater for his wife? She is breeding his children for goodness sakes, shouldn't her comfort come first, before even his own?

In thia scenario the lady doesn't work yet and doesn't need a car. So the man is right to buy one for the mother first. But when the children start coming, he needs yo step up and buy a car for his wife to take them to school.

eyinjuege:


-You don't know the stress her mother also goes through commuting.
-You don't know if she made a promise to buy her mother a car a long time ago even before she met her husband.
-You don't know the dynamics between the mother and child, husband and wife unless you're the husband yourself.
-You really know little about your friend's wife and the circumstances around her family. Perhaps her mother may have ever sold her car in the past to pay the tuition of the lady in question.
-You really don't know
-You're just a third party in this matter so you cannot claim to know so much

It's a different thing if she was pregnant or with little children that you may justify her needing a car for herself, but she's not at the minute. Her husband is young and fit and can still undergo the stress of commuting. Her mother is older and less fit, may even have health issues she battles with and her daughter knows she won't be there forever.

Men are just too selfish, they've always been. Their focus is on themselves and their comfort alone.

Now the tables are turning, women are beginning to earn money for themselves and solve their needs in the way men would never do. Thank God for that.

Wait o....is he mad that she didn't tell him she was using her own money to gift her own mother a car or mad that she gifted her mother a car instead of gifting him? Wow! So confusing!


You see why a lot of women are complaining about the wahala men bring into their lives? So many half baked men nowadays. Your friend isn't angry about being kept in the dark about the gift but rather that she didn't "buy" him a car! It is well!

sisisioge:
Wait o....is he mad that she didn't tell him she was using her own money to gift her own mother a car or mad that she gifted her mother a car instead of gifting him? Wow! So confusing!


You see why a lot of women are complaining about the wahala men bring into their lives? Some many half baked men nowadays. Your friend isn't angry about being kept in the dark about the gift but rather that she didn't "buy" him a car! It is well!

From the way he described how he struggles to go to work, it means he expected the wife to buy him the car and not her mum. Imagine the nerve!!!

@ OP Please tell him to divorce her, I'm sure he is adding nothing to her life to begin with. He needs to let her go before he drags her down with him

decatalyst:


I do not believe she did. At least it wasn't referenced in the write up. We have heard and read countless stories of how some women are the landlord of the house their husband pay rent for. Do not "assume" she did, because these views are premise on the need for her to have informed her husband. Two has become one!

But you really don't know, the poster didn't say it. You are assuming, just like I am.

Untill you fully understand the dynamics behind her decision it is unfair to judge her.

But y’all claim women bring nothing to marriages.
Why was your friend waiting on his wife’s money?
He should buy the car himself.

The ones that have wives who contribute financially and in other ways. The ones have moms that did the same come to NL and froth rabidly at the mouth against women’s contributions to the homes.

I wish more of your wives and girlfriend would do their own thing since y’all will deny their contributions to score internet points anyway.

On a normal day, I’d say I don’t support what she did.
But most of you don’t deserve it.

Lamanii22:





True what she did's wrong... It's like the case of my neighbour whose wife lied that she was going to visit her parents in her state(south south). Not knowing that she went there to accept a job offer... At Exxon Mobil... Or so... The man was so furious, he didn't want to accept his wife back o, he was narrating his ordeal to me although he was drunk .. me I didn't see anything wrong there cause I felt she wanted to make their lives better....

This woman’s entire life has been limited by the man she married. Pitiable

She worked there for like a year sha, she had to resign to save her marriage....


We shouldn't just make decisions on our own... Let your SO give his/her opinion....

she what?!!!
Oh lord.

This woman had no one in her life who loves her enough to advice her appropriately? So does the drunk husband have a better job to provide for her like her Exxon mobile pay would have provided for her?

cococandy:
This woman’s entire life has been limited by the man she married. Pitiable

she what?!!!
Oh lord.

This woman had no one in her life who loves her enough to advice her appropriately? So does the drunk husband have a better job to provide for her like her Exxon mobile pay would have provided for her?

@bold, that's unfortunately the case in many African marriages
All those men do is pull women down and retard_ their progress because of ego and entitlement

Her mum is almost retiring which means she should be between 55-65 years old, someone that should be resting, she went to buy a car for her.. let's assume if something happens to the mother, the brothers will take over the car
Do the know if the husband was annoyed was because they have unfinished project they haven't completed!!!

UjuJoan2:


Is the lady's husband pregnant? Is his calf swollen and his stomach the size of an elephant? Is he breeding, not just his bur THEIR child? How is it that you can't see that the two scenarios are completely different.

That he bought his mother a car is not even the problem here. He is driving a car himself and is letting his pregnant wife jump buses. That's where I have a problem.

Is it that you guys dont get the fact that a man ought to provide and cater for his wife? She is breeding his children for goodness sakes, shouldn't her comfort come first, before even his own?

In thia scenario the lady doesn't work yet and doesn't need a car. So the man is right to buy one for the mother first. But when the children start coming, he needs yo step up and buy a car for his wife to take them to school.

@bold, if you tell them that they are selfish and entitled they will get angry but that is exactly how they are. Expecting a woman to suffer pregnancy and childbirth for children that will answer another person's name and belong to another person's heritage but they still dont think they should provide for their wives.

kcowen:
Her mum is almost retiring which means she should be between 55-65 years old, someone that should be resting, she went to buy a car for her.. let's assume if something happens to the mother, the brothers will take over the car
Do the know if the husband was annoyed was because they have unfinished project they haven't completed!!!

But if a woman comes here to complain that her husband refused to go to market and cook food inside the kitchen for herself and the children you men will start shouting that she is disrespectful.
If a woman expects her husband to stay at home everyday taking care of their children while she goes out to visit friends you will say it's the wife's duty to take care of kids.
If she sits down to relax during weekends and tell her husband to clean the dirty house and wash clothes because it's his duty you people will swear for her.
If she comes back from work and expects her husband to enter kitchen and serve her food while she watches television nairaland men will crash nairaland servers with their insults.

At the same time the same men feel that a woman is under obligation to provide for them and buy things for them.

The woman would have informed her husband now the man would start saving money for his own car and leave the up keep of the house for the woman and also buy his mum a car too

Should every issue that happen in the family solution be about divorce? This is an issue a simple dialogue would resolve.

The only concern here is that she didn't tell her husband which she would apologize and move on except she uses joint savings for the purchase and she can even use it up until the point of her own contribution. As the husband, you can even exaggerate your manliness by blowing out of proportion to make her see wrong in what she did then apologize. Move on...

For your mother-in-law to even call you to appreciate you means your wife in her childish behaviour did not forget to exclude your from taking credit of the whole gift giving which further shows either she is a good woman or the mother-in-law is a better person.

If you want to divorce, quickly go ahead then spend another few years to find a woman that you can averagely deal with each other, gather up money to do the right thing by her and her family (which you could have used to buy your own car), then pray that she does not exhibit another worse behaviour so you don't divorce again.

UjuJoan2:


Why are men of these days so lazy and dependent on women? I just dont get it.

So if his wife buys him a car he will drive it happily? What about pride? Chivalry? What about self dignity?

That aside, do you know the bond between the lady and her mother? So because he gave her a ring, he thinks he is now more important than her own mother? What has he done to earn such privilege?

Lazy men everywhere looking to live off their wives. If your friend cannot keep trekking let him buy himself a car, simple!

Not that I support the man for his position on the subject, but I wonder what would be your reply if the reverse was the case

I mean, how many of you ladies would stomach the idea of your husbands buying a car for his mom when you the wife has none

Lamanii22:





True what she did's wrong... It's like the case of my neighbour whose wife lied that she was going to visit her parents in her state(south south). Not knowing that she went there to accept a job offer... At Exxon Mobil... Or so... The man was so furious, he didn't want to accept his wife back o, he was narrating his ordeal to me although he was drunk... me I didn't see anything wrong there cause I felt she wanted to make their lives better.... She worked there for like a year sha, she had to resign to save her marriage....


We shouldn't just make decisions on our own... Let your SO give his/her opinion....

Correct!

Sixfeetbelle:
Your friend is overexaggerating and should calm down. If there was no incentive to put resources together, her buying her mom a car from her own personal account should be no issue. Otherwise, the wife did badly.

But if he wants a divorce, he should go ahead. Immature people shouldn't be married anyways.

If this happened conversely would you support the man??

So I must take permission from my husband before buying things for my mum with my hard earn money? Not his money o. Then why am I a daughter?

MSEdLAW:




If this happened conversely would you support the man??

First of, I'm not supporting any spouse here. And like I said earlier, as far the money wasn't taken from their joint savings, a spouse getting angry about it is pointless. If he likes, he should buy a car for his mom from his own personal savings. No one will give a bleep.

Sylverly:
And you are fully aware about the stress he passes through each morning, as highlighted. Definitely, won't let him take such decision of divorcing. Well, will try though

Did the couple discuss about getting a car? They should have each contributed to the car purchase.

Why d man no talk say him need car?

Poor husband still treeking when ur wife can afford to give a car gift to the mother.

The man should double his hustle rather than acting like a baby.

U married a wife richer than u and u will have alot coming ur way in the future if u don't up your financial game

It is very hard for a rich woman to respect her poor husband, that is why she threw that massive disrespect at you knowing u cant do shi.t

Finally, 95% of men/women love their mother more than their spouses it's just normal esp for marriages below 15 yrs

decatalyst:


I get the scenario you painted. You are merely appealing to emotion!

But trust me, it wouldn't have been wrong or become a topic of debate if she bought it before marriage (during courtship) or as a single woman. Imagine it is the mama calling the husband to inform him.

She is married for crying out loud! The husband deserves to be briefed, if two has truly became one!

If she brought it up, he kicked against and she still went ahead with it, would your argument be different?

Sixfeetbelle:



If she brought it up, he kicked against and she still went ahead with it, would your argument be different?

Yes.

That simply validates the notion that the man is selfish and utterly think only of himself. It would mean that he doesn't value the or support the dream of her woman.

decatalyst:


Yes.

That simply validates the notion that the man is selfish and utterly think only of himself. It would mean that he doesn't value the or support the dream of her woman.

Explains why she didn't tell him. Case closed. Cause I know if that man went to his village and spent 50k on his siblings and cousins, hardly will he tell his wife, as would most men, but women pretend like it doesn't matter and they don't care. He should pretend too.