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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) (43205 Views)
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Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by jackpot(f): 11:47am On Mar 20, 2011 |
sledge406: |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 2:35pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
^^^ Na God go judge the person when dey do you this strong thing. Bring 2 fowl teeth, 1kg of pig hair, 5 lizard eggs, 27grains of salt or bring $1,798.00 USD and we'll have your voice restored. See as dem dey press your neck badly. . .I dey see am inside calabash of red paint. I just dey see your profile abi na location but yes na DUMB pesin I dey yab. Try make you dey smart. @Efemena. . .I nor do anything o. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 2:42pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
A Nigerian girl got married to a Chinese man & had a baby boy who eventually died. At the burial, her aunt came crying, saying "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Curious relatives took the aunt to a corner and asked her what she knew. She said loudly, I KNEW IT, CHINA PRODUCTS, THEY DON'T LAST! |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 8:10pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real b[i]itc[/i]h tonight, Dave." |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 8:54pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
^^ Sledge dey share im experience!!! Nice joke but I don see the last 2 b/4 fresh ones pls |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 11:28pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
Nor worry, you go see the fresh jokes after we don harvest finish. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 11:35pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
Lol! |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by jackpot(f): 11:50pm On Mar 20, 2011 |
Efemena_xy: |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 10:34am On Mar 21, 2011 |
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away and decided to test him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers." "That's correct", said the boss. Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels." "Correct!" The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!" The boss collapsed. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 10:42am On Mar 21, 2011 |
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by zenus(m): 11:33am On Mar 21, 2011 |
sledge406: lol |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 11:58am On Mar 21, 2011 |
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 3:08pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
well it kinda makes sense the Homo Sapiens are animals - aren't they? |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 3:40pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Nice jokes sledge keep it up Efe how have you been doing lately? |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 3:44pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
I'm fine my brother - you nko?? |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by Okijajuju1(m): 4:18pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Efe love mu o! My darling baby! The only love of my life, the only juju in shrine, the only charm in my life, the only spell in my mind, my sugar-banana and honey apple, Shey na so u dey do me, |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by shakara4u(m): 4:23pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Efe love mu o! make KDK catch u, Sledge u d one kipin this section alive, nyc jokes, got a date with this thread everyday |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by Okijajuju1(m): 4:41pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
shakara4u: i don suffer!! see as person dey threaten juju without fear or fright?! chai! these young generations, in my days, such things never happened, |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 5:24pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Okija_juju: Lol!! and I miss you too OJ now, e be like say Okere Juju need im offerings shakara4u: Allegation denied - I nor know dat name OJ - wetin u bring come for me from your travels? pls no Agege bread this time |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 5:37pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Okija the juju man, where you hide since abi na work make you hide your head dis one wen be say election time don reach again and I know say those your customers go don dey come for serious balming for your shrine. Abeg do well to release some list of people when don come pledge loyalty and pay royalty to the forces of Okija. How paroles na? For the new and young Efemena_xy:By Homo sapiens, you mean [b]WO[/b]men/[b]FE[/b]males abi? Efemena_xy:Human skulls and bone to take make better Afang soup @Bashy and Shakara. . .Una do well o for the thank me Nor worry, I go buy crate of pure water share for this thread soon. It is high time we all got refreshed. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 5:43pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
^^ Where your other half?? Madam Lysaa?? |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:01pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Under the bed! |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by shakara4u(m): 6:04pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
where the cartoon of Beer u make me cloz quick |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:14pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Position yourself for Mama Phillip shop dey drink for my head. I go join you soon! |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by shakara4u(m): 6:18pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
i done hear dat one b4 e dun happen to me, day been dey like nyt besides na new sells gal them bring,, she no know say u dey credit worthy here |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:26pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Na 2 nights ago dem bring her and her name na Lysaa. She like me well well but I nor send her infact, I go like run the babe for you since na your specs. Mention my name and tell am say I dey come in 20 minutes to join you. Nor let her madam catch you o. She nor dey wan hear say customer dey toast sales gals. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:59pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Federal Government of Nigeria woke up this morning looking for President Jonathan, only for men and women of the SSS to say he just left the country this morning wit D'banj & Don Jazzy. They went to see Rihana to hook Dame Patience Jonathan up with the remix of Umblerra! Death! |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 7:03pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
^^ Lol!! Nice one Sledge more pls |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 7:09pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Sledge dear, I too sogi for all that trash, i'm a custodian of divine varieties and can't indulge myself in civilian affairs U obviously like me lol. .its not ur fault. .its my blessing n curse to be loved by everyone, an inexplicable phenomenon u can't fathom. |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 7:19pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
Who dis one dey speak English for? You better comot for hia before I call on the MODS that you're derailing my thread with all these English. BTW, your varieties are truly divine and rare else how often do we see flat chested and flat yanshed ladies? |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 7:35pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
. .LOL rgdless, u love me. .admit it damn it! lol |
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 7:38pm On Mar 21, 2011 |
lysaa: Now come have a bear hug! |
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