Very well, thank thee.

(Oya, cat don bite my tongue)

How cat take enter your mouth?

I swallow rat and the cat pursue the rat enter my mouth

I go use am do toothpick sha

Kai, your mouth big o - e come dey accommodating on top. How you dey manage feed yaself and the animals?

Dem dey feed on the worms inside my belle.

A princess meets a talking frog.

Princess: Do I kiss you to make you a handsome prince?
Frog: That was my grandfather's time. I need a b[i]lo[/i]w job babe.

sledge406:

Dem dey feed on the worms inside my belle.

You don dey think like worm eater.

you get worms for your belle? I fit send rat to you and cat go follow next.

I no get worms for belle, besides my body is not animal-friendly.

A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing BRA while a boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

Malik called a wrong phone number today. He asked, 'Is Mandy there?'

The woman says 'Yes' and he said, 'May I speak to her please?'

She said, 'No, she can't right now, she is only 2 months old.' He then said, 'Alright, I'll wait.'

I no fit shout!

Woman finds her hubby in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams, "you promised you wouldn't cheat again!" Husband says, "can't you see I've cut down?!"

A lady visited her doctor again,
Dr. said: You look more sick & exhausted than before. Are you having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT!? I thought you said 3 MALES a day?

An 11yr old boy was accused of r[i]ap[/i]e in court. His 'lady lawyer' holds his d[i]ic[/i]k saying, "my lord, please look at this, can this r[i]ap[/i]e?" The boy whispers, "Aunty please don't shake it much, otherwise we will lose the case."

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: Who is scared of a mouse?

Just saw one aboki wrapping his fone with a hankie, out of curiosity, I asked him what he was doing and he was like, "walahi, I wan call my broda e dey hole me moni so I wan hide my number make e no know say na me because if he see my number he no go pick the call".

1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:- Are you sleeping?
A: No! I'm training to die?

2. When it's pouring rain and someone notices you going out, they ask: - Are you going out in this rain?
A: No, in the next one.

3. Your friend calls your home phone:- Where are you?
A: At the bus stop!

4. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:- Did you just have a bath?
A: No, I fell in the toilet bowl!

5. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:- Going up?
A: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me.

6. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:- Are those flowers?
A: No baby! They're Carrots.

7. You're on the queue to buy tickets at the cinema, a friend saw you & asked:- What are you doing here?
A: I'm here to pay my school fees.

8. A friend sees you crying & asks:- Are you crying?
A: No, it's just raining in my eye.

9. Your mum sees you going to school in your uniform & asks:- Are you going to school darling?
A. No mum, I am going to a night club.

Phil was at the bar one night and complained about having a headache.

"I've got a beautiful cure for a headache", said his mate Trev. "Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet bl[i]owj[/i]ob. Never fails!"

A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah" said Phil, "Worked great! Your house is nice, too!"

Got pulled over for speeding. The cop said "I've been waiting all day for people like you" I said "Well, I came as quick as I could."

^^ Lol!!

Nice! Very nice jokes

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Nice!

I think I'll rest here till the rest of the Jokes section revitalizes itself

oya more jokes pls Sledge

Easy tigeress.

At your service.

nice jokes all the way.

Three nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat. Not an unusual habit on a hot day. So about a half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped over pews clear across the huge chapel.

They ask who it is. "The blind man," a voice replies.

The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is blind. He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice t[i]it[/i]s! Where do you want me to install these blinds?"

Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven.

Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's p[i]en[/i]is," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.

Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's p[i]en[/i]is," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.

Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"

Lol!! 

just wondering - how what did they all die from anyway (seeing as dem 4 don reach gates of heaven)?

Waoh!
Good jokes!

1.) Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”

3.) Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

4.) Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one b[i]asta[/i]rd in there.”

5.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who
used to live across the hall from me back in school) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: “Want to Dance?”
Woman: “No, thank you.”
Man: “Don’t thank me, thank God somebody asked you.”

6.) Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

7.) Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “Female impersonator.”

8.) And here’s one including the correct snappy return
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized, screw off!”

9.) A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60’s approach
her in a club with the line,”Where have you been all my life?” She took one glance at him and said, “For the first half
of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.”

10.) A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation.
We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, “What are you looking at?”
My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, “He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken.”