[b]European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.[/b]As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Peas and lov to yu.

Let us all start speaking this simplified English

rotfmao,
dude u d bomb,at leats i can read german after strainin my eyes for hrs

cool 2/10

The purpose for inventing alphabets in the history of writing, was to record or represent the sounds of speech graphically for long distance and mass communication. So alphabets then are symbols of the vowels and consonants that make up speech and each letter is supposed to consistently represent a particular vowel or consonant as is the case with Latin, spanish, italian, Yoruba, Hausa or Igbo. But not so with English which derives most of its vocabulary by illogically respelling latin words and assigning pronunciations without following the one letter one sound principle.

For example in the latin saying: "Conlige suspectos semper habitos", The letters here carry the same sounds as in Yoruba, hausa or Igbo. But in the English translation: "round up the usual suspects", the letters don't correctly represent the appropriate speech sounds. Look at the words "usual" and "suspect", the letter u does not carry the same sound in both words, and why doesn't the word 'usual' have the consonant 'y' before it, if that speech sound is part of the word. It would be absurd for me to omit the letter 'y' from the word yoruba and still pronounce the sound 'y' in the word.

Look at these words respelled with reference to sound

about = abaut
sound = saund
English = Inglish
book = buk
school = skul
university = yunivesiti
home = hom
computer = kompiuta.
knowledge = nolej
understanding = ondastandin
bible = baibul
people = pipul

the above respellings are in compliance with the principles for inventing alphabets which is to record or represent speech sounds as radio does today realistically.

I think the english spelling system as a whole poses learning, creative imagination and communication difficulties, and we shouldn't have to wait around for the rest of the world to do something, before we recognize and solve a problem.