Is there any part of Nigeria that pay dowry? I don't think so. What we pay is bride price.

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Omuneizzy6:

Hello Nairalanders, its been a while I was in a grieved and depressed mood, trying to gain back my self.

Let's go straight to the topic.
I will really love you guys to help with your good takes on this issue.

Please don't mind my poor grammar.

Sometimes last year, I was in a relationship with this young pretty girl and later she became pregnant for me. Which I had in mind that we will marry in the nearest future but, yet to settle her bride price.
Though, we really loved each other, I devoted 90% of my effort and time for her genuinely.

Even one of her brothers has met me in different occasions asking when I will see the family but I told him, due to my Assignment and duty location once I settle down I will do that unfailingly.

Let me cut the whole story short.

During her delivery period she passed on while giving birth. I wasn't expecting that though I was really mad. May her soul rest in peace

I asked the brother what will be the next move, he said is to take her home and bury her. within me (just like that?) I couldn't control my tears We took her home and buried her few hours later.

On the fourth day of the burial, my parents asked the brothers and sisters both the elders. so what next they said nothing, after the burial everyone can leave. That was their reply.

My parents was like what of the other side? They said see, we don't want to bother your son we know how they were before the girl died, they really loved each other... If we ask you to pay anything. There is no amount of money paid that will bring back our sister's life so forget, what you people need to do, just stay, observe some rites and traditions like to buy drinks take care of the families and friends.. Till after the normal 8days everyone leaves.

Although, had it been it's in some places the family might not take it likely with me..
I must marry their daughter first,buy wrapper, pay her dowry, pay for the death, I must also prove innocence.

Now the question is, What is the punishment given to a man who didn't pay her lady's dowry before she died in your Place?

In Addition to that, is there any spiritual implications attached to it if a man didn't pay a lady's dowry before she died... Because I'm just scared.

Mod. please I need many takes on this. It will help a brother.

nwakibe:
In my tribe, no big deal. You have two options. it's either you pay your Dead girlfriend's bride price and bury her in your own community or you allow your in-laws to bury her in their own community which you will not like, especially as you love her and she has a child with you.

100% fact

Amotolongbo:
Dowry is being paid by women, not men.

Bride Prize is being paid by men.

@Dear OP, sorry for the loss.
It depends on the tribe and cultural values and norms.

In some parts of Igbo land, the man has to settle all the bride prize and probably have a conjugal bliss with the corpse before they can allow the corpse being buried.

In major part of yoruba land where I come from, no much serious implication.

The major and utmost thing is that, try to know the in-depth of the cultural norms and values of the land which you are marrying from. Clear all the bills, settle everyone you are meant to settle before taking the bride or groom.
Every culture is meant to be observed and respected. If you find their culture so “barbaric”, don’t marry from there, it isn’t mandatory

Please and please be sure of what you know before posting. There is no part of igbo land where the man must have carnal knowledge of the corpse( if that's what you mean by conjugal bliss). It is a sacrilege. An abomination!
Kindly modify that point
Yes in some areas, the man may be compelled to bury the dead and conduct the burial rites.
It also happens in parts of delta state.

Amotolongbo:
Go and tell your mother to shut up for failing to teach you manner!
Children roaming nairaland with their diapers

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2016/02/22/man-marries-wifes-corpse-in-anambra/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.informationng.com/2018/04/young-nigerian-man-forced-to-marry-corpse-of-woman-he-impregnated-without-paying-her-bride-price.html/amp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dailypost.ng/2016/02/14/my-late-wifes-family-wants-me-to-marry-her-corpse-man-laments/

Any day you insult my mother, I will spend heavily to trace you. Go and Google Ecoterors here to know my antecedents.


That I'm watching things here and moving on don't mean that you can talk down on people anyhow.


Be warned

Ade3131:


Original Igbo man spotted there. They start off by talking down their direct audience. Raining insults and tongue-lashing the weak by flaunting their superior advantage ostentatiously.

Well-done onye nna. You're doing well. ooooin!


Modified.

You have a counter argument, bring it up in a subtle manner without causing harm to the personality of the person you're addressing....

Do I look like someone that has time for all these

timekeeper1:



Why insulting ur fellow igbo

I'm only trying to caution against giving the wrong information.

edochie12:
If this thing has happened in the east,my brother u will suffer,u will marry her in death,infact u will regret ever meeting the girl for the first time

This also happens in delta state. Isoko areas and some other places

edochie12:
If this thing has happened in the east,my brother u will suffer,u will marry her in death,infact u will regret ever meeting the girl for the first time

Mr man say your village not east

I'm from east it's not so in my village in IMO state

VillageHead:
My son, as a chieftain, I can categorically tell you that are so many implications traditionally and spiritually but let's simply talk as it relates to you now. As it stands now, you and the deceased lady proved beyond every reasonable doubt to your families that you love each other and were heading to the altar before the tragedy struck. You are lucky to have an understanding family ( the lady's family). Assist in giving her a decent burial and try to maintain a cordial relationship with her family even long after you've remarried. Should I remind you to take a proper care of the child, NO; I know you will fare well in that department.

May God be with you.

I love the way you presented this...
Very matured

Omuneizzy6:

Hello Nairalanders, its been a while I was in a grieved and depressed mood, trying to gain back my self.

Let's go straight to the topic.
I will really love you guys to help with your good takes on this issue.

Please don't mind my poor grammar.

Sometimes last year, I was in a relationship with this young pretty girl and later she became pregnant for me. Which I had in mind that we will marry in the nearest future but, yet to settle her bride price.
Though, we really loved each other, I devoted 90% of my effort and time for her genuinely.

Even one of her brothers has met me in different occasions asking when I will see the family but I told him, due to my Assignment and duty location once I settle down I will do that unfailingly.

Let me cut the whole story short.

During her delivery period she passed on while giving birth. I wasn't expecting that though I was really mad. May her soul rest in peace

I asked the brother what will be the next move, he said is to take her home and bury her. within me (just like that?) I couldn't control my tears We took her home and buried her few hours later.

On the fourth day of the burial, my parents asked the brothers and sisters both the elders. so what next they said nothing, after the burial everyone can leave. That was their reply.

My parents was like what of the other side? They said see, we don't want to bother your son we know how they were before the girl died, they really loved each other... If we ask you to pay anything. There is no amount of money paid that will bring back our sister's life so forget, what you people need to do, just stay, observe some rites and traditions like to buy drinks take care of the families and friends.. Till after the normal 8days everyone leaves.

Although, had it been it's in some places the family might not take it likely with me..
I must marry their daughter first,buy wrapper, pay her dowry, pay for the death, I must also prove innocence.

Now the question is, What is the punishment given to a man who didn't pay her lady's dowry before she died in your Place?

In Addition to that, is there any spiritual implications attached to it if a man didn't pay a lady's dowry before she died... Because I'm just scared.

Mod. please I need many takes on this. It will help a brother.

The best thing you will do for this family is to keep relating with them as though you are their InLaw the rest of your life...honestly they did what many people can't do

There is no different between having baby mama and you right now, cus she is not your wife, yours is abduction case

All this backward culture. As sorrowful as the event is, He didnt kill her. She died naturally during childbirth

And as long as he didnt rape her to conceive the child and the lady is above 18, he has done absolutely nothing wrong. Abi if it was the man that left the house and had a motor accident and died, will they frustrate the lady over his death simply cos they were not married?

My advise to anyone in this situation is to properly document the cause of death. I am not sure the family has any legal hold on you. Also ensure you have evidence that the lady wasnt kidnapped and she lived with you and got pregnant of her own free will....Everything else is secondary...just have a good lawyer

Chamber2000:
Shut up. No part of Igboland will ask for a conjugal bliss with the corpse.


You are rather expected to pay twice the amount for marriage rites so that others can learn lessons about the importance of doing proper marital rites with a lady instead of living together as unmarried couples

Thank you my brother. I didn't know you have already responded to her.
I pointed out the same thing.
Someone will not be sure of facts before rushing to press.

Women should stop collecting bride price. Nobody is buying you .

Just get married to a responsible man and be responsible too.

Omuneizzy6:

Hello Nairalanders, its been a while I was in a grieved and depressed mood, trying to gain back my self.

Let's go straight to the topic.
I will really love you guys to help with your good takes on this issue.

Please don't mind my poor grammar.

Sometimes last year, I was in a relationship with this young pretty girl and later she became pregnant for me. Which I had in mind that we will marry in the nearest future but, yet to settle her bride price.
Though, we really loved each other, I devoted 90% of my effort and time for her genuinely.

Even one of her brothers has met me in different occasions asking when I will see the family but I told him, due to my Assignment and duty location once I settle down I will do that unfailingly.

Let me cut the whole story short.

During her delivery period she passed on while giving birth. I wasn't expecting that though I was really mad. May her soul rest in peace

I asked the brother what will be the next move, he said is to take her home and bury her. within me (just like that?) I couldn't control my tears We took her home and buried her few hours later.

On the fourth day of the burial, my parents asked the brothers and sisters both the elders. so what next they said nothing, after the burial everyone can leave. That was their reply.

My parents was like what of the other side? They said see, we don't want to bother your son we know how they were before the girl died, they really loved each other... If we ask you to pay anything. There is no amount of money paid that will bring back our sister's life so forget, what you people need to do, just stay, observe some rites and traditions like to buy drinks take care of the families and friends.. Till after the normal 8days everyone leaves.

Although, had it been it's in some places the family might not take it likely with me..
I must marry their daughter first,buy wrapper, pay her dowry, pay for the death, I must also prove innocence.

Now the question is, What is the punishment given to a man who didn't pay her lady's dowry before she died in your Place?

In Addition to that, is there any spiritual implications attached to it if a man didn't pay a lady's dowry before she died... Because I'm just scared.

Mod. please I need many takes on this. It will help a brother.

You claimed you never had time to go and pay her bride price when she was alive, but you had time to impregnate her and when she finally died from the same pregnancy, suddenly you had time to take her corpse home for burial??

You are doing well sir, Weldon!

Chamber2000:
Any day you insult my mother, I will spend heavily to trace you. Go and Google Ecoterors here to know my antecedents.


That I'm watching things here and moving on don't mean that you can talk down on people anyhow.


Be warned

coputa:
if the woman is from isoko,the man should just run for his dear life,they don't hv conscience.they treat their inlaws like slaves.

I married an Urhobo woman.
Ain't their culture same with Isoko?

25tolife:
Wait let me call one elder for you.


cc: Daddytime

That guy na small boy. Just because him don carry woman for house come born one pikin no mean say he Sabi anything...

nams77:

Thank you my brother. I didn't know you have already responded to her.
I pointed out the same thing.
Someone will not be sure of facts before rushing to press.

I have explained to her but she was insulting my mother.


I really felt so angry in my spirit for that, the woman that I've been running around through hospital this period to keep her up and someone just comes to insult her?

Seriously Nairaland allows any Tom Dick and Harry to insult you.

Danniedpastor:




I married an Urhobo woman.
Ain't their culture same with Isoko?

No,they 're miles apart.urhobos 're hospitable n peace loving people.

Chamber2000:
I have explained to her but she was insulting my mother.


I really felt so angry in my spirit for that, the woman that I've been running around through hospital this period to keep her up and someone just comes to insult her?

Seriously Nairaland allows any Tom Dick and Harry to insult you.

Just ignore

Sorry for the loss. But when God commands us to do a certain thing even if look odd just go ahead and do it, it will bring you peace and save you from many calamity. This is a lesson for all to do the needful in all aspect of our lives in accordance with God's prescription as best as we can. Fornication is a horrible sin in the sight of God, if you must settle down don't be so wicked to steal someones daughter for keep since you wouldn't want that done to your daughter. If you are a lady don't play a fools script honour your father and mother by refraining from sexual immoralty or making yourself a baby mama for any man, that will be synonymous with you disregarding your parents and becareful your children too will spite you. All in all let's obey God's commandment and walk in his ways, if that Lady was unable to genuinely repent of her sin of fornication before passing away, definitely she's in hell right now and the OP who put her in such a state is no better except he too genuinely repent and amend his ways. A word is enough for the wise!

it depend on the family because some will insist that you will pay the bride price of their daughter(i.e paid die body bride price) while some will tell you go but it depend the way you treat their daughter when she is alive

sorry for the lost,it is well

tunjilana:
All this backward culture. As sorrowful as the event is, He didnt kill her. She died naturally during childbirth

And as long as he didnt rape her to conceive the child and the lady is above 18, he has done absolutely nothing wrong. Abi if it was the man that left the house and had a motor accident and died, will they frustrate the lady over his death simply cos they were not married?

My advise to anyone in this situation is to properly document the cause of death. I am not sure the family has any legal hold on you. Also ensure you have evidence that the lady wasnt kidnapped and she lived with you and got pregnant of her own free will....Everything else is secondary...just have a good lawyer

In your mind now, you are very intelligent o.

You better respect tradition is areas like this.
There are aspects of our cultures that shouldn't and cannot be abolished because they help us uphold high moral standard.

To be really honest with you Nairalanders, I haven't seen the solution to this brother's question.
Quote me if you've seen something reasonable to be taken as a solution

Sorry for your loss bro

IgboGirlsFucker:

That guy na small boy. Just because him don carry woman for house come born one pikin no mean say he Sabi anything...

At least he's not hopping from one girl to another.
And he is responsible for the welfare of his family.



You better appreciate married people because to be a family-man no be beans o

edochie12:
If this thing has happened in the east,my brother u will suffer,u will marry her in death,infact u will regret ever meeting the girl for the first time

But I'm wondering, what if he refuses to do what the elders say, wetin go happen?

paulolee:

sacarsm isnt meant 4 everyone..jus read n pass n stop mentioning me with foul words plss

You call that shit up there sarcasm?

People are doing mistakes,what they mean by marrying the dead body is that you will have to pay every marital rites before you be allowed to bury your wife,and at that junction the marital rites increases and if you don't do,they might invoke the dead ghost to start living with you,omo its terribly scary and horrible
Its advisable,no matter how little do something on any little before she stays together with you

Amotolongbo:


Dowry is being paid by women, not men.

Bride Prize is being paid by men.


In some parts of Igbo land, the man has to settle all the bride prize and probably have a wedding with the corpse before they can allow the corpse being buried.

@ bolded, cool.

@ last line, bizzare.

@ op, just respect their norms.
Sorry for your loss.