You dodged a bullet... Marriage is overrated

sylve11:


Watch as they will soon come and attack you here for saying the truth.

Only the ignorant or those who do not want me to spill the truth will attack me. I know there are other tribes but these two, happened to people close.

phemmyfour:
Dictionary? You must be a joke.

Are you for real?

Tell me how Dowry is a Yoruba word and how it follows the rules and guidelines of creating words in Yoruba language, “isunki ati aranmo” and “Oro ayalo”.

Davido should try and pay Chioma's bride price. Nobody is praying for any bad thing to happen, but it is the right thing to do.

My ppl are not tradition custodians, so if a lady's bride price is not paid and she dies during child birth, the village will just go and take their daughter and bury. She and the child still belongs to her father's family.

This is not the case in other igbo communities that uphold tradition. They will so mess the guy up. They will first of all accuse him of kidnapping and killing their daughter. They will accuse you of every. The emotional trauma and torture no be here. The case may be be in police ooo. Na you go dey beg . Then the community will invite you to come and tell them what happened to their daughter. After several forth and back visit with your ppl, some will give you traditional marriage list that is almost double of what it is supposed to be. When you are done with that, then you do the burial proper. You will be so lucky if you escape with just burial list instead of doing both traditional marriage and burial. This is done to serve as lesson to others

Amotolongbo:
Dowry is being paid by women, not men.

Bride Prize is being paid by men.

@Dear OP, sorry for the loss.
It depends on the tribe and cultural values and norms.

In some parts of Igbo land, the man has to settle all the bride prize and probably have a wedding with the corpse before they can allow the corpse being buried.

In major part of yoruba land where I come from, no much serious implication.

The major and utmost thing is that, try to know the in-depth of the cultural norms and values of the land which you are marrying from. Clear all the bills, settle everyone you are meant to settle before taking the bride or groom.
Every culture is meant to be observed and respected. If you find their culture so “barbaric”, don’t marry from there, it isn’t mandatory

marry the corpse ke? what manner of fuckery is that??

Both of you weren't married in the first place...

Omuneizzy6:

Hello Nairalanders, its been a while I was in a grieved and depressed mood, trying to gain back my self.

Let's go straight to the topic.
I will really love you guys to help with your good takes on this issue.

Please don't mind my poor grammar.

Sometimes last year, I was in a relationship with this young pretty girl and later she became pregnant for me. Which I had in mind that we will marry in the nearest future but, yet to settle her bride price.
Though, we really loved each other, I devoted 90% of my effort and time for her genuinely.

Even one of her brothers has met me in different occasions asking when I will see the family but I told him, due to my Assignment and duty location once I settle down I will do that unfailingly.

Let me cut the whole story short.

During her delivery period she passed on while giving birth. I wasn't expecting that though I was really mad. May her soul rest in peace

I asked the brother what will be the next move, he said is to take her home and bury her. within me (just like that?) I couldn't control my tears We took her home and buried her few hours later.

On the fourth day of the burial, my parents asked the brothers and sisters both the elders. so what next they said nothing, after the burial everyone can leave. That was their reply.

My parents was like what of the other side? They said see, we don't want to bother your son we know how they were before the girl died, they really loved each other... If we ask you to pay anything. There is no amount of money paid that will bring back our sister's life so forget, what you people need to do, just stay, observe some rites and traditions like to buy drinks take care of the families and friends.. Till after the normal 8days everyone leaves.

Although, had it been it's in some places the family might not take it likely with me..
I must marry their daughter first,buy wrapper, pay her dowry, pay for the death, I must also prove innocence.

Now the question is, What is the punishment given to a man who didn't pay her lady's dowry before she died in your Place?

In Addition to that, is there any spiritual implications attached to it if a man didn't pay a lady's dowry before she died... Because I'm just scared.

Mod. please I need many takes on this. It will help a brother.

I didn't know that you can get married on credit ooo

I quite vividly remember when my Uncle's wife died in 2013. Surprisingly to me, they were never married yet she had three kids for him. He was well do to. I just wonder why he never paid her bride price. Sadly, the family held her(body) for months before they finally agreed to collect 1.2million. This happened in Ikot Ekpene, Akwa Ibom. I remember my father showing me messages filled with insults from our in-laws. Guess poverty was the major cause of the attitude they showed towards us. Anyways, before you marry; know the kind family you are marrying from or into. May her soul rest in perfect peace, it has been 7years.

The family of your late fiancee are kind and civilize people

Some igbo families demand dowries for their late daughters who had the type of relationship you painted in your post

Lock him in jail till arsenal wins the champions league

This matter must get to elders table

Olodo Nairaland, men don't pay dowry!!

Amotolongbo:
Go and tell your mother to shut up for failing to teach you manner!
Children roaming nairaland with their diapers

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2016/02/22/man-marries-wifes-corpse-in-anambra/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.informationng.com/2018/04/young-nigerian-man-forced-to-marry-corpse-of-woman-he-impregnated-without-paying-her-bride-price.html/amp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dailypost.ng/2016/02/14/my-late-wifes-family-wants-me-to-marry-her-corpse-man-laments/

Madam I read the first link, I didn’t see anywhere the man was forced to sleep with the dead wife.
Yes it rue that in Igbo culture if you cohabit with a lady you’re not married to, you must perform the marital rites before you can bury her. But this one you added must sleep with the corpse na you know where you get that one from o.

1: u go marry the deadbody

2: u go come do the burial,cos na ur wife.

Pigidiottts can be so barbaric!

There comes a time when Culture and Tradition becomes outdated by the times we live in. In the past perhaps it had significant moral and economic value. Poor, stagnant Illiterates in the village see this as an opportunity to make money. ever wondered why this does not happen to people living in the village rather it applies to outsiders.

But listen to them for your safety oooh.. all it takes is N50 juju and village-people will wreck your life

2buffagain:
I would advise you not to allow ignorant village people make you do something you do not understand.

If Jesus says "let the dead bury the dead", who do you think he would say should marry the dead?

Why are you contemplating the idea of becoming one with the dead?

Even marriage is a matter of till death do us part. No body marries anybody into afterlife.

Tell whoever brings that occultic mess to you to shut up and get out. There is not a damn thing they can do.

Greave your dearly departed and move on with your life in the land of the living in FREEDOM. Abi is their demonic culture putting food on your table?

I can already tell that this is some eastern-igbotic sounding mess. I have not even read up to where someone reveals the tribe. Na Dem be Dem.

You were making sense until you had to bring your stupid tribalism in.

Omuneizzy6:
I lost the both

So sorry bro.....it is always well.

Too bad....
But why did he not start something, even though he had a little money.
Take heart...

edochie12:
If this thing has happened in the east,my brother u will suffer,u will marry her in death,infact u will regret ever meeting the girl for the first time

Stop typing what u know nothing about
I had a similar experience in umuahia 2015 and nothing happend.
I still talk with all her siblings and even father till now.

What if this happens incase of a yoruba lady. Wat traditional rites will be done.

IgboGirlsFucker:

That guy na small boy. Just because him don carry woman for house come born one pikin no mean say he Sabi anything...

ok

In my place you will have to go n see her family n pay her dowry before she can be buried. Since you said you two were good to each other, that means you treated her well, that means they won't charge you too much.

After the burial as well, they will separate you two. You are free to remarry after mourning her.

Kfed4ril:


You were making sense until you had to bring your stupid tribalism in.

Is it igbo or not?
Truth is truth.

If a part of your culture is bad and predatory, say it is bad and let the devil be ashamed.
Igbo people would rather support necrophilia than to go without collecting that wedding list. Na how they go chop x2 from the matter be their only concern, not that the woman has died.

I am not your problem. Go and reform your greedy, demonic culture!

mamatwiny:
Davido should try and pay Chioma's bride price. Nobody is praying for any bad thing to happen, but it is the right thing to do.

My ppl are not tradition custodians, so if a lady's bride price is not paid and she dies during child birth, the village will just go and take their daughter and bury. She and the child still belongs to her father's family.

This is not the case in other igbo communities that uphold tradition. They will so mess the guy up. They will first of all accuse him of kidnapping and killing their daughter. They will accuse you of every. The emotional trauma and torture no be here. The case may be be in police ooo. Na you go dey beg . Then the community will invite you to come and tell them what happened to their daughter. After several forth and back visit with your ppl, some will give you traditional marriage list that is almost double of what it is supposed to be. When you are done with that, then you do the burial proper. You will be so lucky if you escape with just burial list instead of doing both traditional marriage and burial. This is done to serve as lesson to others

It is who has their time that will be following them to do all that one.
Ofcourse, them go add marriage list to burial matter too.
To chop on top that girl head na wetin dey hungry some of those people, not really the loss of the girl itself.
Sha sha, they must still look for a way to chop that wedding list and every every all together. Eastern igbotics
I respect igbo people who value pragmatism and stand up against some of the excesses of their culture. That is the only way reform of these things will eventually be possible.

There is not a damn thing police can do. They will show me where it is my fault in constitutional law that because someone I like died, I must be forced to do stupid things. The girl was an adult of age and made her choice to be happy.

I repeat, it is only weak, culture-enslaved fools that will allow anybody bring nonsense to his doorstep talkn bout "come and meet us in our village".
I owe no freaking villager any damn explanation of anything, especially when I am not even the one that killed the woman.

Amotolongbo:
Go and tell your mother to shut up for failing to teach you manner!
Children roaming nairaland with their diapers

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2016/02/22/man-marries-wifes-corpse-in-anambra/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.informationng.com/2018/04/young-nigerian-man-forced-to-marry-corpse-of-woman-he-impregnated-without-paying-her-bride-price.html/amp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/dailypost.ng/2016/02/14/my-late-wifes-family-wants-me-to-marry-her-corpse-man-laments/

It happened in my village a few years back... The man was only required to pay the Marriage rites and some other additional money which i feel is a kinda punishment for not doing so while the lady was alive.... That was all.... She left behind 5 kids.....

I'm from IMO State....

Amotolongbo:
Dowry is being paid by women, not men.

Bride Prize is being paid by men.

@Dear OP, sorry for the loss.
It depends on the tribe and cultural values and norms.

In some parts of Igbo land, the man has to settle all the bride prize and probably have a wedding with the corpse before they can allow the corpse being buried.

[size=18pt]In major part of yoruba land where I come from, no much serious implication.[/size]

The major and utmost thing is that, try to know the in-depth of the cultural norms and values of the land which you are marrying from. Clear all the bills, settle everyone you are meant to settle before taking the bride or groom.
Every culture is meant to be observed and respected. If you find their culture so “barbaric”, don’t marry from there, it isn’t mandatory

That is because yoruba are an educated and pragmatic people.

Igbo culturists would rather dishonor the girl's memory by squawking over how to get money from people and eat on top of her corpse (even by supporting necrophilia), instead of all family and friends (boyfriend included) simply coming together to mourn the passing of their beloved.

There is a time for money money money and there is a time to honor the human memory of someone in unity.
Igbo culturists don't get that. Their greed cannot be sated or put on pause for anything.

I only respect igbo people who do like the girl's family in this story who actively go against the backward elements of their tradition if it makes no sense, unlike the majority who act like slaves to it. If I marry into an igbo family, it would have to be that type.

2buffagain:


That is because yoruba are an educated and pragmatic people.

Igbo people would rather dishonor the girl's memory by squawking over how to get money from people and eat on top of her corpse (even by supporting necrophilia), instead of all family and friends (boyfriend included) simply coming together to mourn the passing of their beloved.

There is a time for money money money and there is a time to honor the human memory of someone in unity.
Igbo people don't get that.

HUFF HUFF HUFF

nothing you are free bro all you need to do is to take care of the girl's burial ground that all and move on

sylve11:



Okay. It's good you didn't insult him as others would have done.

Not my nature sir

Chamber2000:
Shut up. No part of Igboland will ask for a conjugal bliss with the corpse.


You are rather expected to pay twice the amount for marriage rites so that others can learn lessons about the importance of doing proper marital rites with a lady instead of living together as unmarried couples

Oga I sabi too much.

Didn't you see probably in his comment?