Please advise her!

My marriage is just two years old. I work as an accountant in a secondary school. Two months after we got married, my husband collected my ATM card. My salary is N52,000. Whenever my salary comes my husband withdraws the whole salary, takes 30,000 and give me 22,000. He will still insist I use the money to buy things for the house and also for transportation to work. After three months, I asked him what he does with the money he will tell me he adds it to his business (Tailoring materials). I complained to my mum and she told me not to worry because he is my husband. Some months later, I told him I needed to change my wardrobe and get some new shoes for work that I would need all the money for that month. He called me a stupid woman that I should manage the ones I have. When I refused he beat me with his belt.
I told my employer everything, then she told me to open another account that my salary will be divided into two, 32,000 in my old account and 20,000 in my new account. She said I should tell my husband that the school is downsizing and they are retaining me with the condition that my salary will be reduced by 20,000.
When I told him, he didnt even bother. When my next salary came, he collected 25,000, and gave me 7,000. I was mad and asked him how he expects me to go to work? Then I also questioned what his own money is used for. He beat me badly and kicked my stomach. I miscarried the baby I was carrying.
After I was discharged, he told me that if I ever question his authority again that he will disfigure me. This is someone I dated for 1 years 7 months with no form of violence. Though our church does not support visiting our intended husband alone so I didnt have the opportunity to study him the way I should.
My mother had an accident and I wanted sending her money, I asked my husband that I will need 15,000 when my salary is paid. He told me that I wont give my mother anything because his mother needs a deep freezer for her fish business. I just didnt say anything. I sent some of the money I have been saving in the other account to my mother.
A week later, his mum had an accident in a keke when she went to buy fish. He told me to take loan from my office so he can add to the one he has to treat his mum. I told him to use the one he has been saving from my salary and I won't do what he asked me. And he should remember what he told me when my mum had an accident.
Then two months into the lockdown he returned my ATM card because my salary was no longer coming. I told him to hold it that I won't collect it again. He went in to bring his belt to beat me, I used the curtains pipe on the floor of the sitting room and hit his neck.

He told everyone that I want to kill him. His people told me to apologize, I said over my dead body. On the open day of the lockdown, I got a car and packed my belongings and left him.
I told the woman I worked as a nanny in the house after my secondary school about everything. She sent me 450,000 to get an apartment. Which i have done and moved in.
My pastor said we should resolve the matter. For the first time in my life, I insulted my pastor and told him it shall not be well with him.
I have apologized to my pastor, but I won't go back to that devil of a husband.
Now my mum says if I dont go back to my husband that it will break her heart and she may die because my mum is diabetic and hypertensive, my father is late.
How should I convince my mum to understand that I can't go back to that beast

Source: Facebook page of Hope foundation Group Inc.

I stopped in the first paragraph.
1. this is 2020 not 1920, what's stopping your from renting your house? 2. what's stopping you from blocking your ATM.
this story is cooked up

I stopped in the first paragraph.
1. this is 2020 not 1920, what's stopping your from renting your house? 2. what's stopping you from blocking your ATM.
this story is cooked up

If this story is true then some ignoramus in form of men are busy ruining our reputation. Imagine what someone's sister is undergoing all in the name of marriage. Tufia!

U no hit am well...i can tolerate a man dat cheats on my sisters and daughters.but,raising those his filty hands on her.i rather turm my sis or daughter to a widow,than watch him kill her for me.cos he will marry again.

Men like that are exclusively fit for marriage with a lady like millenniumlady only

If na your mama dey marry the goat of a man come dey chop all that nonsense abuse from am, continue to dey ask how to convince your mama until your battered remains enter 6 feet below.

You did the right thing
You got your life to live don't put yourself into bondage

The only thing I'm not happy is begging pastor, some of them are in the name of "church" let both of you live together. They choose to close their eye on red flags in relationship

Sometimes most of these unbelievable things I read on nairaland keeps me wondering if they're real or just fiction



Since I joined nairaland I've totally given up on marriage
Me no go near that union at all

I stopped reading when she said, "two months later we got married."
What has been joined together, let no man put asunder.
Minding my own business. You chose him, then enjoy your choice.

If you are reading this, you will die young if you don't leave that toxic marriage. Not a curse but reality. It's not your mother's life anymore, it's yours. She may not understand your decision now, but she will soon. Hold your ground, do not go back for second wave of your suffering

Remember, she warned you

This Story (if true) represents the Problem faced in many marriages today i.e "God Complex" exhibited by Some Men today.

Marriage is meant to be a Partnership not a Master-Slave relationship.

That's what alot of People don't understand.

Back to the main issue... Leave his house because due to his violent and abusive tendencies, he may kill you one day...

So just be wise and be separated for a while so you don't get killed

Never you go back to the beast you called a husband. Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. Domestic violence.God abeg i need a man like my dad.

Lol
Saw this post on FB earlier today, i'm surprised how fast it got here. Anyway, my former advice still stands, it would be better if you live seperately for awhile but still be in touch with your husband and maybe kids, atleast for your mum's sake, but don't initiate a divorce. Hopefully, if your husband is wise, he will acknowledge his fault.

the man doesn't want you to grow, I have a wife, I have never asked her one day how much she makes or not,and I still provide for her, one day she asked me what kind of a man I am, it is wrong to manipulate someone no matter the relationship you have with the person, even the money he takes from you, he can't even give a reasonable answer to what he is doing with it, just stay away from the devil before he kills you and your mum who is claiming to be heartbroken will now be the one to bury you.

I doubt If you have told your mum everything you have written here, does she want him to kill you? you need to stay alive and take care of your mum, that is not marriage at all








https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7PLL1bMTb8

hyut..

To those who must marry by force or let the church or religion brain wash you into marriage this is the result.
1. You are not a baby.
Tell your mum everything and your reasons . A sane mother willl support your action. Stop hiding the truth from her. She deserves to know and should be able to help you.
2. N450 rent paid for you?how will you cope after the rent expires? Prepare for plan B rent cause can you afford it with your income? Dont expect ppl to continue paying your rent.
3. That man is a wicked man. He might have another family he is taking care of.
4. You have been a nanamu to him for too long.

I don't have much to say. I'm still young tho but I'll say this: "Women should stop staying in violent marriages just for the sake of MARRIAGE"

Demzlent:
Please advise her!

My marriage is just two years old. I work as an accountant in a secondary school. Two months after we got married, my husband collected my ATM card. My salary is N52,000. Whenever my salary comes my husband withdraws the whole salary, takes 30,000 and give me 22,000. He will still insist I use the money to buy things for the house and also for transportation to work. After three months, I asked him what he does with the money he will tell me he adds it to his business (Tailoring materials). I complained to my mum and she told me not to worry because he is my husband. Some months later, I told him I needed to change my wardrobe and get some new shoes for work that I would need all the money for that month. He called me a stupid woman that I should manage the ones I have. When I refused he beat me with his belt.
I told my employer everything, then she told me to open another account that my salary will be divided into two, 32,000 in my old account and 20,000 in my new account. She said I should tell my husband that the school is downsizing and they are retaining me with the condition that my salary will be reduced by 20,000.
When I told him, he didnt even bother. When my next salary came, he collected 25,000, and gave me 7,000. I was mad and asked him how he expects me to go to work? Then I also questioned what his own money is used for. He beat me badly and kicked my stomach. I miscarried the baby I was carrying.
After I was discharged, he told me that if I ever question his authority again that he will disfigure me. This is someone I dated for 1 years 7 months with no form of violence. Though our church does not support visiting our intended husband alone so I didnt have the opportunity to study him the way I should.
My mother had an accident and I wanted sending her money, I asked my husband that I will need 15,000 when my salary is paid. He told me that I wont give my mother anything because his mother needs a deep freezer for her fish business. I just didnt say anything. I sent some of the money I have been saving in the other account to my mother.
A week later, his mum had an accident in a keke when she went to buy fish. He told me to take loan from my office so he can add to the one he has to treat his mum. I told him to use the one he has been saving from my salary and I won't do what he asked me. And he should remember what he told me when my mum had an accident.
Then two months into the lockdown he returned my ATM card because my salary was no longer coming. I told him to hold it that I won't collect it again. He went in to bring his belt to beat me, I used the curtains pipe on the floor of the sitting room and hit his neck.

He told everyone that I want to kill him. His people told me to apologize, I said over my dead body. On the open day of the lockdown, I got a car and packed my belongings and left him.
I told the woman I worked as a nanny in the house after my secondary school about everything. She sent me 450,000 to get an apartment. Which i have done and moved in.
My pastor said we should resolve the matter. For the first time in my life, I insulted my pastor and told him it shall not be well with him.
I have apologized to my pastor, but I won't go back to that devil of a husband.
Now my mum says if I dont go back to my husband that it will break her heart and she may die because my mum is diabetic and hypertensive, my father is late.
How should I convince my mum to understand that I can't go back to that beast

Source: Facebook page of Hope foundation Group Inc.

I don't want to talk cause am not married. firstly this man is a damh beast, how will you collect your wife hard earn money with her sweat, divide the money not equally sef take the big part and give her the small part, but on what's ground?? but you self what your boss did was good atleast keep quiet and manage the 7 k add it up and leave him, and pray that God will deal with him .

one thing about all this broken marriages is that they don't seek the face of God before dey embark on a marriage journey so they face the làtter.

I pray God will help us

Demzlent:
Please advise her!

My marriage is just two years old. I work as an accountant in a secondary school. Two months after we got married, my husband collected my ATM card. My salary is N52,000. Whenever my salary comes my husband withdraws the whole salary, takes 30,000 and give me 22,000. He will still insist I use the money to buy things for the house and also for transportation to work. After three months, I asked him what he does with the money he will tell me he adds it to his business (Tailoring materials). I complained to my mum and she told me not to worry because he is my husband. Some months later, I told him I needed to change my wardrobe and get some new shoes for work that I would need all the money for that month. He called me a stupid woman that I should manage the ones I have. When I refused he beat me with his belt.
I told my employer everything, then she told me to open another account that my salary will be divided into two, 32,000 in my old account and 20,000 in my new account. She said I should tell my husband that the school is downsizing and they are retaining me with the condition that my salary will be reduced by 20,000.
When I told him, he didnt even bother. When my next salary came, he collected 25,000, and gave me 7,000. I was mad and asked him how he expects me to go to work? Then I also questioned what his own money is used for. He beat me badly and kicked my stomach. I miscarried the baby I was carrying.
After I was discharged, he told me that if I ever question his authority again that he will disfigure me. This is someone I dated for 1 years 7 months with no form of violence. Though our church does not support visiting our intended husband alone so I didnt have the opportunity to study him the way I should.
My mother had an accident and I wanted sending her money, I asked my husband that I will need 15,000 when my salary is paid. He told me that I wont give my mother anything because his mother needs a deep freezer for her fish business. I just didnt say anything. I sent some of the money I have been saving in the other account to my mother.
A week later, his mum had an accident in a keke when she went to buy fish. He told me to take loan from my office so he can add to the one he has to treat his mum. I told him to use the one he has been saving from my salary and I won't do what he asked me. And he should remember what he told me when my mum had an accident.
Then two months into the lockdown he returned my ATM card because my salary was no longer coming. I told him to hold it that I won't collect it again. He went in to bring his belt to beat me, I used the curtains pipe on the floor of the sitting room and hit his neck.

He told everyone that I want to kill him. His people told me to apologize, I said over my dead body. On the open day of the lockdown, I got a car and packed my belongings and left him.
I told the woman I worked as a nanny in the house after my secondary school about everything. She sent me 450,000 to get an apartment. Which i have done and moved in.
My pastor said we should resolve the matter. For the first time in my life, I insulted my pastor and told him it shall not be well with him.
I have apologized to my pastor, but I won't go back to that devil of a husband.
Now my mum says if I dont go back to my husband that it will break her heart and she may die because my mum is diabetic and hypertensive, my father is late.
How should I convince my mum to understand that I can't go back to that beast

Source: Facebook page of Hope foundation Group Inc.

I don't have much to say to you other than it was bad marriage that killed my mum.

jus too bad

Nawa o

U just wasted my.time.

I knew na rubbish story.

HornyTave:
I stopped in the first paragraph.

1. this is 2020 not 1920, what's stopping your from renting your house?
2. what's stopping you from blocking your ATM.

this story is cooked up

Why can't she just block the ATM.....

My bro na truth you talk ooo



I'm having a second thought about the story.....