simplexity:

Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Are you a husband and father or A HELPLESS VICTIM?

Well it's obvious you don't love your kids, or maybe they aren't even yours. Who knows?

Why would someone take your kids and then you even need people to tell you what to do?

Martinez39s:
Shut up.

only truth could make you these speechless neva seen you like these.

OP only you and God knows what works for your family. Seek legal advice incase things goes haywire and dont forget to pray. Many ppl here are results of broken relationships and they use one to generalize on the female gender.

Fool

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

you're a poocee, a big giant poocee. And you're a disgrace to the penis you carry.



You de beg woman? If you were my son I'd strangle you

Ohemababy:


Sorry how do you mean a man's kids?
Are they not her kids also.
Police for what? I dont really understand.

To arrest his kids mom for what crime exactly?

is there any threat to the kids' lives at home? if NO, she is not in any position to take the kids away without the approval of their father. If she must leave, it shd be her alone not with the kids

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

You're depressed cos a woman left you??

Op you no get family? Which is her family this her family that, you where are your own family

Don't let anybody give you high blood pressure..

Find a cool lounge and drink two bottle evening time after work andbgo home and sleep...

If hunger knack am she go call you and bring the kids..

Avoid see finish and don't have reason to shakaye..they want to turn you to their puppet..

When we tell them look before they leap they will shout love. Product of single parent as a wife? Hmmmmmm...ask Churchill.

this is NOT marriage nor a wife abeg. You saw the signs since. Next pls!!!!

Haywhymido:
is there any threat to the kids' lives at home? if NO, she is not in any position to take the kids away without the approval of their father. If she must leave, it shd be her alone not with the kids

Really. If the kids are just 2years old and a one month old she should leave them with the father?

Iamundisputed:


Bros... A Nigerian woman will never leave her husband's house just because of mere suspicion, especially not when the mother is around. I am just saying this is his own version and there is more to the story...

Expert on women matters. Just read what a mature man has ended up writing. Always defending women just to appear good. If she was the one who wrote this, u wouldn't have approached the is this way.

First:
Rush to the police station and report the case. This is almost a situation of kidnap.

Second:
Tell all family members on both sides. Your family and her family

Third:
Relax and wait. A bottle of beer would relax you a bit

My Thinking:
Your mother in law seems to want her daughter (your wife) to marry someone else who is perhaps richer. So any little mistake, she will blow it out of proportion so as to quickly disolve your marriage and get her daughter to marry someone else.

Your Mistake:
You should not have allowed your mother in law stay in your home especially since you already knew the kind of person she is.

But Wait Ooooooo
How do these kind of families exist sef. They look like a very forgive me but a useless family.

Way Forward:
Start cutting the excesses of your wife and limit her communication with her family who seem very useless. Never allow your mother in law into your house going forward. You have to defend your family at all cost especialy your children. Winterfell must not fall to the white walkers

Righteousness89:
Make a police Report!
Also inform Family elders...

After that Calm down and use this time to seek GOD'S Face on your family....

Something is wrong somewhere!

I Believe the Greatest solution is the one that GOD gives..

Use this period to knock on Heaven gate for your Family Matters..

Personal Times as these produce results!

I Pray For you that GOD Almighty have Mercy on your Home and restore the Love and Joy that in your Home in JESUS Name.... Amen

This seem to be the best advice

If na me. I swear I don Marry finish. I no my type of person. My girl friends know me. I don't take back by vomit

BiggyB242:
God knows I won't get married to any woman I can't control. This is what you get when you a pet woman too much.

Na only u get sense for dis place. Shoe get size. Beauty no de sustain marriage.

zedegit:
If this is true, then you don't have a marriage. Your wife has seen you finish.

larryking540:

you are very right bro ,I have a family friend who was raised by a single mother , trust me ,this lady is money ok but doesn't contribute a dime to the hux ,every day na fight and quarrel ,last last the husband couldn't take it anymore ,he went to the father in-law for help ,the only advice the father in-law could give is just divorce her ,the man said ,my daughter was not raised by me she was raised by her single mother ,who has same attitude like her ,,,,

and I have come to noticed ,most girls raised by single mother don't date long ,in fact they don't believe in long courting ,if you meet them today ,u visit their mother in 2 months time ,na the mama go day say no time ,make una quick marry o,hope say u no go leave my daughter oo,,,bro when a mother tells you dat ,there is something fishy ,

Exactly...


The one I said is our family friend, ones thought of killing her son in-law so she can take possession of the 3 sons the daughter had for the guy...smh evil single mothers do.

She said it plain. My dad had to rebuke her and almost ban her from visiting us.

Another set of ladies to avoid is those whose mothers are inclined to superstition and fetish believes.. some are home wreckers in addition to the extremely religious parents.

They always want to be incharge of their children's marital homes.

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Here's the most sensible advice I have seen on Nairaland concerning Marriage/Family matters. Welldone

Righteousness89:
Make a police Report!
Also inform Family elders...

After that Calm down and use this time to seek GOD'S Face on your family....

Something is wrong somewhere!

I Believe the Greatest solution is the one that GOD gives..

Use this period to knock on Heaven gate for your Family Matters..

Personal Times as these produce results!

I Pray For you that GOD Almighty have Mercy on your Home and restore the Love and Joy that in your Home in JESUS Name.... Amen

Stephenomozzy:


I was gonna reply you constructively, then I read your signature. Ah! Of course.

---

Do you realize that OP and the wife actually truly loved each other before they agreed to get married? Don't you think he should attempt to restore her sanity with maturity on his own part instead of forming hard man and ruining his married because of "anger"? Some of you forming Red Pill. You think you can reason with a woman who is being unreasonable when you are also unreasonable?

Crab ko Crayfish ni

The marriage is ruined already, the fact that the wife decides to talk to a third party (the mother) instead of the husband is a pointer and she needs to realize that it is a red flag and you don't do that by forming love.

jornwhite:
only truth could make you these speechless neva seen you like these.

Lol. Don't flatter yourself. I didn't just have the strength to argue.

Dangrace01:


My brothers don't allow love blind una eye. You can't be from a functional family and marry someone from a dysfunctional family

Things change, my brother. may we never learn lessons with our bad experience. it's easier to say when one has not experienced it. Just know dt marriage is a black market. in many cases, u may not know what happens next.

NoToPile:



What if the 'such' that happened during to the mother was extreme domestic violence and she had to leave will you expect her daughter to condone such so as to know where her loyalty lies

I have seen someone that left a marriage because her husbands people wanted her to carry a sacrifice, they did not see anybody in their family to carry its the wife, wife now said if I must carry I must inform my family members, they didn't agree that's how kasala burst and wifey packed her things and child and ran away. she never remarried.

Would I advise her to stay i dont think so under such circumstances.

Someone will now say he won't marry the girl because the mother is a single mother

Its very easy to judge we don't know what led to what .

People will never address the main issue, its the mother's single hood they are blaming.

I get your point of view ,but we have to listen to them first before we draw conclusion ,like me ,I always ask every girl am dating about their parents if they are still together how does your mother treat your father ,that part I wouldn't know untill I visit their home and spend a few long hours with them ,even reach how they treat their pet at home ,I am very very observant when it comes to relationship ,I am not perfect o,but I day extremely careful .

yes there are extreme cases of violence ,which it's understandable ,no matter how we portray Western life ,the lady is sometimes give a little slap on the face ,when she misbehave ,it is when it involves breaking of bottle ,or going too extreme on the correction phase ,it'sokay of the lady leaves the hux ,
I have a friend who left the husband house Bec the husband slapped her , Sense day that one abi,same way she will definitely advise the daughter of man slap u ,pack comot from e house ,

Obynolee:




The marriage is ruined already, the fact that the wife decides to talk to a third party (the mother) instead of the husband is a pointer and she needs to realize that it is a red flag and you don't do that by forming love.

exactly completely ruined ,if op knw ,he should just start looking for a new wife , because of the wife come hux another fight go start again

marry Another wife please.

wany:

Cry me a river ,1. Your story has no bearing,in the op case is the wife rich and the bread winner. 2. You have only heard from the op have you heard from the wife.why take sides. You didn't cheat but admitted you cheated right who does such.I beg put your emotions in check biko.

I understand that you will like to support the wife, as a fellow lady, but two wrongs does not make a right.
If the man cheated, it's left for the couple to sit down and talk to each other in order to get over their problems and move on with their lives, not for a third party to barge into the relationship and add petrol to an already existing fire and thereby make things worse.
Also, marriage as an institution can be quite a mystery, don't be surprised if after a year of separation from her husband, the man's wife will now come to herself and start blaming her mother for advising her to leave her marriage, so that's why I advised against external influence on the marriage, rather the couple should be left to sort out their issues by themselves.

larryking540:

I get your point of view ,but we have to listen to them first before we draw conclusion ,like me ,I always ask every girl am dating about their parents if they are still together how does your mother treat your father ,that part I wouldn't know untill I visit their home and spend a few long hours with them ,even reach how they treat their pet at home ,I am very very observant when it comes to relationship ,I am not perfect o,but I day extremely careful .

yes there are extreme cases of violence ,which it's understandable ,no matter how we portray Western life , the lady is sometimes give a little slap on the face ,when she misbehave ,it is when it involves breaking of bottle ,or going too extreme on the correction phase ,it'sokay of the lady leaves the hux
I have a friend who left the husband house Bec the husband slapped her , Sense day that one abi,same way she will definitely advise the daughter of man slap u ,pack comot from e house ,

You believe a lady should be given a slap on the face for correction


Have a nice day abeg.

Obynolee:




The marriage is ruined already, the fact that the wife decides to talk to a third party (the mother) instead of the husband is a pointer and she needs to realize that it is a red flag and you don't do that by forming love.

Marriages don't end just because one of the people talks to a third party (People will usually talk to others for different reasons, miscommunication/misunderstands, among others.

Marriages don't end just because a wife complains to her mother

It's not forming love; It's being matured and making efforts to clarify issues. If after all your effort she is still bent on staying away. Then you're justified in whatever action you choose to take

mandate12:


As few as the likes attached to ur comment, this is a very strong point u have raised. U, my friend are smart!

That's the truth, I wouldn't let that happened. I shake my head when I see guys do foolish things just to please a girl, trust ladies they will take full advantage of the situation and when they get used to it, it can't be changed anymore.