1- One idiot used ''GUNSHOTS'' as his ringing tone, His China phone rang in the bank today, over an hour we're still looking for the cashier and two security men������

2- And This Nepa will Bring Light when someone is sleeping. as if someone paid for (MTN) Night plan.......��‍♂️��‍♂️��‍♂️

May sense locate u people today

3- Nigerians will go to burial, they'll cry and still carry away food to their house.

Chai, this world is a set up

4- Some guys can deceive eeh.. They'll be like ''Baby i see my future kids in your eyes'' Well-done sir chairman of national population census, Hope you're seeing golden morn, pampers, school fees and other baby food on her forehead too?����

Am not feeling fine jare

5- Some people are blessed with wickedness, How can i beg you for salt and you are telling me that your mum has counted it���

6- I cried for 2hours when one girl told me she took 1st in her waec result..

Some people can lie ehn�����

7- Miss those people in primary school that use to say ''If i give you one dirty slap, you'll fly to America'', Come and slap me now oooo
��
8- A scientist wanted to develop a bra that stops women's breast from bouncing while running and also another bra that doesn't show nipples when wet.

but we guys don't panic... We killed the idiot immediately

9- Nigerian Girls love money, I'm telling you, You'll get angry and tell a girl "Go to hell" She will look at you and be like... "I don't have transport fare

10- Someone covered my eyes from my back and ask me to guess who he was , after guessing for 5 mins, i removed his hands and i saw a mad man......

Bros, come nd see temple run ...

11- When money is involved, Nigerian girls will be like , I love his mouth odour it's so matured 馃槀 馃槀 馃槀 *

12- I mistakenly step on a soldier's boot, when trying to board a taxi, the next thing I heard was " are u in ZAIN", something was telling me to reply "no am in MTN" . . No God forbid ooh, the devil won't get me dis January ending

13- The hardest thing to find this day is to see a girl without a boyfriend...

Everywhere is occupied

14- When you build a house let your wife decorate the ceiling, she has seen more ceiling designs than you.. Am i communicating?

15- If you want to be my friend, be my friend, If you want to be my enemy, be my enemy, Stop confusing the thunder that will strike you.

16- If yhu read all this post without liking or dropping any comment, I promise yhu, your phone will fall inside hot oil.

I mean d condemming one

17- Bathroom is for slim girls, Fat girls should go to car wash...

Ye who stone me?

18- My girlfriend travelled to London with my earpiece and charger !is it okay for me to tell someone i have properties in London?

19- Some people will hate you,just because you use water to bath

20- Teacher : morning class..

Class : it's not your period sir

21- I should seriously stop listening to random conversation in a taxi... Now i just followed someone home just to hear the rest of the story....

22- My Ex saw me at Shoprite and she said “so u are still alive”

I replied “No ooo....I just came to buy bread then i will return to my grave"......... Idiot

23- Dear ladies not all guys that follow you to the kitchen are actually romantic. My dear, they just want make sure that you don't put poison in their food

24- Girls do you remember that year, when you use sweater to make a baby in school ? That's when your stupidity started

Am beside my mom come nd beat me if u can

25- Guys do you remembered when you made cars with tin and slippers ? Then begged your mum to allow you park the motor in the room so your friends won't steal your jeep , do you remember ? That's when your stupidity started

u can beat me, if u can beat Broke Lesnar

26- I bought power bank for 20k at circle ... And I was very happy it was cheap until my phone started charging the power bank

Abeg which kind witchcraft be dis?

27- I bought Gucci soap for N2000 and Gucci sponge for N3500 and since morning I've been looking for where to bath for people to see me

28- Nobody knows short cuts more than a driver who doesn't have a drivers license

29- Teacher: Simply define Confusion

Me : CONFUSION is when you go kitchen to steal meat from the pot, and you forget whether the spoon was on top or inside the pot

30- When you mistakenly left your phone for bae then few minutes later you see her playing with knife ... my brother run for your life oooo

31- My brother no girl hates you on Facebook they are all good girls .. They just don't comment on your post because you don't sponsor competitions

32- Dear future hubby wherever u are, please if u are on Facebook freemode? kindly say Hi lemme subscribe for u I dnt want u 2 turn blind

33- People who hardly post on social media thinks they have a Masters Degree In maturity.

34- RIP President muhammad buhari

Before u start sharing it lemme tell u wat i mean

-> Remain- in- power President muhammad buhari

35- she broke up with me just because of dis

She said nobody knows tomorrow
And i said tomorrow is Tuesday and she blocked me�����
Love you more
#copied
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Thanks, you made me laugh.

Genius. soooo hilarious

Ejike07:
Genius. soooo hilarious

thanks

[quote author=McAchikolo post=91676374][/quote] you're welcom