Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Eileene(f): 4:50pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
WarriFirstSon:
Like a typical young lady, they don't think far. Superficial as well. Read the original story, you'll see that the young man said the girl uses the phone to read because she can't afford to buy textbooks. Let me write it for you, SHE USES SOFT COPIES. So, you saying he should buy her the phone automatically means "smartphones". Ode! WarriFirstSon:
Get out and get a job. Stop living off a man, you leech. You won't go far if you think this way. All successful women in life are independent. Learn. If trolling me will make you sleep better at night. Even I can't deny you that now can I. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Irore: 4:51pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. In as much as sex is not mentioned in your post, my advice is that you should not be weary in well doing. Open up to her;effective communication without referring to her parents who like you described are low income earners. Continue to support her not because of marriage tomorrow hoping too that it won't get into her head that you are paying for sleeping with her. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by MetalJigsaw(m): 4:53pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
CaveAdullam: As a man, putting a woman above your goals is one of the most dangerous simping mistake.
MBBS ko, Doctor fa.......better be ready when she finally shit you like a poo after graduation. be simping there. Guy you deserve more figures into your bank account. I can't believe there are still full grown "matured" men that put their brains under their shoes and give their balls to a woman. What does She offer him in return? nothing but her body 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by mamaafrik(m): 4:55pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
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Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Nobody: 4:57pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
CaveAdullam: As a man, putting a woman above your goals is one of the most dangerous simping mistake.
MBBS ko, Doctor fa.......better be ready when she finally shit you like a poo after graduation.
Be simping there. that's exactly what I'm scared of, make this babe non leave this guy after she is done with schooling because she will opt for a richer guy since her parents will now be dependent on her she wouldn't need a struggling guy except you are well to do by then. Female doctors are hot cake your competitors will increase. You better get married to her before she goes for houseman ship oo. Forget those quotes if she leaves after all this sacrifices you will be bitter with any woman that comes your way for the rest of your life, better use your HQ. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by MurderX: 5:11pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Dont leave that girl oh, you better marry her now before it is too late. A girl from a poor home to be studying Medicine shows she is hardworking. I'll advice you to do introduction and traditional with her and place her on a salary as a staff of your company. She has potentials, just invest in her potentials. 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Nobody: 5:16pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Eileene:
If trolling me will make you sleep better at night. Even I can't deny you that now can I. Evasive tactics. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by pmoye(m): 5:19pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
In Segalinks voice, it will end in premium tears...for you bro. I think it is either pride, or arrogance, or folly, or arrogantly proud folly that would force a broke man to be behaving like Dangote. Dude, you are broke and you haven't found anyone to tell you. Before you met that babe she had somehow been surviving. And now you somehow believe that without you she would not survive. She is an MBBS student, and will one day become a medical doctor inshallah... She is not going to marry you the laundry man. She is soon going to start thinking she is too good and sophisticated for you. You can bank on that. The Bible says God provides seed for the sower and bread for food, and your confusion lies in your using the seed provided you at this phase of your life as bread for another person's mouth. Two broke people cannot help each other, they will instead eat each other to death... If you are wise you are going to close your eyes and walk away. Poor man no dey allow him head swell... Your head don too dey swell, and soon that your name dem go change am from Victory to Brooklyn landlord. LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
She has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated. . 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Nobody: 5:22pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
oga oo i am sure that girl and her mom are just using u and eating ur money make bini babe no show u pepper u better be smart 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Elsiedaniels(f): 5:25pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. Receive sense na |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by nkemdi89(f): 5:31pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
VicM6: lolz, you re right thou.... i remember one mad guy that needed help from me badly that he has to place a call 6am to me... he promised me some cash after the help but reversed was the case..... hahahaha, human beings.... Well, i pity OP bcus with the way he wrote that write-up, Op is in mess. If he feels that he is being used , let him just stop. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Temitopemo6e6(m): 5:32pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Bbbwings:
I'm not igbo but I know the last statement means he is seriously mad and he ha no one to tell him you are wrong |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by deepwater(f): 5:36pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
I want to respectfully keep our intimacy life out of this bro, but just know that I'm her 1st definition of a true love. Most of what you typed, are positive words and i thank you. I've never stopped encouraging her. She has the potential to be a life partner (trust me, I have had experiences to know this) but the financial burden is the negative in all these. baba na wash 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Strangebuttrue(m): 5:39pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. Do not abandon the girl ,buy don't kill yourself too. But her a phone she can make and receive calls with. Android is not a must now, tell her you are not that financially buoyant now |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by PattyMike(m): 5:42pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
U started so u must finish it. Ask God to help u financially so u can keep helping her. Also know if she is taking advantage or she genuinely wants a future. Make sure you have plans to settle down with her and ensure that she has the same plans. This gals are sneaky. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Finchmgh: 5:47pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Yes I understand your stance, however I'm old enough to date and I would love to settle down in a few years. Since you are old enough to date and settle down, then why are you complaining of the financial burden on you? |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Exodora: 5:51pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Yea bro, God can speak through strangers, that's why I shared this burden here. It actually made me restless last night cos i feel like i may give up, if things continue like this. I have a long way to go In life and age isn't really on my side. Thanks. Even married people have their ups and downs but some of them won't let you know. Everybody undergoes this experience be it married or otherwise just learn to handle chanllenges more especially in this lockdown period . |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Exodora: 5:54pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
CaveAdullam: As a man, putting a woman above your goals is one of the most dangerous simping mistake.
MBBS ko, Doctor fa.......better be ready when she finally shit you like a poo after graduation.
Be simping there. You guys should stop discouraging people .Not everybody shit their long time friend especially does that shared something deep with. 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Wigetsolar: 5:55pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
This life no balance. See octopus with appendages. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by frozen70(f): 5:57pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. Hmmm My concern is, if you do all this for this woman, will she finally be your wife or you will leave her to go and look for her man or you don't mind losing her Because to me, you have not stand well yet you are backing an able body She doesn't look like a woman who is ready to struggle to support you Just follow your mind 3 Likes |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Climax4: 5:57pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Did she not have any savings from the monthly salary you pay her at least she should provide part of the money then you help to argument it and get another phone for her in other to reedem your promise. You should avoid doing all things for her you should set a boundary dude. Good luck |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by lonzo(m): 5:58pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
How much be the phone.... pm me ... Bro abeg listen whatever decision you'll make from here onward stick with it... I cant say it'll end good or bad... I understand your pain.. I've been there sadly she passed on before I could get to marry her.. that pain still hurts bro. 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Exodora: 5:58pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Thanks bro.. I did/have been doing those things for her, like I'd do for any of my 2 sisters. I expected nothing, knowing that she came from a struggling family, if i had gotten a steady job, trust me, I'd never complain, nor will I have ever brought up this topic. It's just that the burden is just weighing heavily on me, especially due to this year and all of its drama. I guess she is no child , why not sit down her down and talk one on one without being harsh. Try and explain to her in a way you think she will digest your words well. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Goldenfinger: 6:03pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Lol @yahoo.. scamming of any type is a never and no no for me. All the rest of your advises, I'll take. Thanks. .We tank GOD |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Exodora: 6:03pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Bottompot: Bro, this issue is not black and white. It requires wisdom and direction from God. If I were in your shoes, I will push her to start up something for herself no matter how small, cos I'm also a medical student and still doing little things that give me money. You can contact me let's talk this is my no 08170381042 whatsapp Ochii ! contact you on what exactly Mr adviser. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Kennydoc(m): 6:05pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Why would you think that it's a story? Look my profile, I've been on Nairaland since 2010. Go through my previous posts. This is why i suggested that only matured minds should rub minds with me. She was in 200L in 2017 and in 2020, she is waiting to start 400L. I hear you. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by phemmyfour: 6:05pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. Displeasing yourself to please her is a wrong way to go about life. Let her know you cannot handle ALL her financial obligations |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Exodora: 6:06pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Men be complaining about women since 2000bc as if some women don't take care of them . Majority of women takes care of our men without bringing it online but they buy you a pen the next thing your name is threading online.New generation of Men! |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by sleekman(m): 6:14pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton: Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.
I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.
While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.
Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.
The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.
Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.
NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.
Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please. Oga you need to be smart. First off, do you love her? If you do then find out if she loves you too. If she does then get married. You don't need plenty money to marry. Marry that beautiful ass uve got and protect your investment. Pop up the question and watch her reaction as you do. Love should be the basis of all you do. Marriage and her bearing your kids will surely protect your interests. When she commits then you too are required to commit unreservedly. You aren't one hence your fear. If you were one in spirit then you would not entertain such fears. If you had the money then you could take a gamble or perhaps just sow unreservedly into someones life. |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by NaijaNile: 6:34pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
Dude, do you see her as someone you can marry? A life partner? Does she possess the attributes you are looking for in a wife? Mother of your children? Do your goals align? If so, what you call a financial burden is not too much of a sacrifice for someone you love. She seems to me like a lady with potentials - studious, hardworking (not beans to pass 2 MBBS exams), from a humble family who sweat it out to make ends meet. She is finding ways to progress her studies (ebooks instead of physical costly medical books). If you ask me you might have a rough diamond there.
You need to strike a balance about the finances. Sit her down and let her know you need to grow the business, and to do that you need funds. So while you support her basic needs, she needs to forego/reduce the monthly salary you give her for some time to enable you stabilise. On your part you also need to sacrifice - not that you'd be visiting joints to drink while she's washing your customer's clothes for free. I sense that she will agree as your description of her does not depict an unreasonable person.
About the phone, you can get her a low cost smart phone - since she uses it for her studies.
I feel it within me that you will not regret the support you render to her.
Finally, pray. Make you no go use wife do girlfriend.
My 2 Cents. 1 Like |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by MovingShadow: 6:39pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
LordNicvuitton:
Why would you think that it's a story? Look my profile, I've been on Nairaland since 2010. Go through my previous posts. This is why i suggested that only matured minds should rub minds with me. u claimed u v been on nairaland since 2010 and u still writing this kind of epistle on this kinda story. welldone sir!. just continue spending more till u go bankrupt. if posible she dump u for another person, dont cry just take a bottle of sniper, lay ur bed, set ur pillow and rest... |
Re: The Lady In My Life, My Burden. by Coolcalmcollect(m): 6:46pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
there's a reason I don't date broke girls .. ... we told you guys but you wouldn't listen, you will wanna form I'm a man. get the fuq out my front Mr man 2 Likes |