Princek12:

Being Ibo has to a lot do with many things. Can you explain the fact that a substantial majority of this cases are perpetrated by Ibo men? That is a  fact. It may be coincidental or may be traceable to Ibo culture. But the facts are indisputable.

exactly just as we have to start looking into why yoruba people kill their mother , its really bad

@ bashr4 which Yoruba killed their mother? To be honest, lots of not so good stories I've heard about Nigerian men from women in the US have been about Igbo men. Don't really know why and I'm not trying to bash anyone. Is there a reason? After hearing a few stories from these women, I started asking what their mens names were, and  You guessed it.

Controlling nature etc. Unfortunately we all (Nigerian men) get stereotyped

alphabet43:

@ bashr4 which Yoruba killed their mother? To be honest, lots of not so good stories I've heard about Nigerian men from women in the US have been about Igbo men. Don't really know why and I'm not trying to bash anyone. Is there a reason? After hearing a few stories from these women, I started asking what their mens names were, and  You guessed it.

Controlling nature etc. Unfortunately we all (Nigerian men) get stereotyped

of course you woudnt know cause your only intrested in igbo news ,i bet u also dont know of the yoruba man one that killed both the wife and child with basebsall bat in the same u.s you live , when you stop playin tribal card then you will se all that.

@ bashr post the link and dispute my tribal card, lol. Facts are facts. I won't even begin to mention the God complex my Igbo friends have towards women. It's in you guys culture and it's factual. I've had to get involved multiple times myself. I really was trying to be nice and for your information, I have more unflattering facts that I'm not even disclosing because my intention is not bashing

its there in the crime(nigerian girl kills mother) section so am not even goin to argue with you, besides you have your internet , search and you will find .

look at you describing a tribe over 25 million from wat you know about ur pherhaps juvenile friends , if be it then yorubas are promiscous to a fault cus that how my yoruba friends behave.

if you think you have information you will be suprised by what i have myself so bring it on lets know who will go home with shame at the end of the day . nice gbakwa oku

alphabet43:

@ bashr post the link and dispute my tribal card. Facts are facts. I won't even begin to mention the God complex my Igbo friends have towards women. It's in you guys culture and it's factual. I've had to get involved multiple times myself. I was trying to be nice and for your information, I have more facts that I'm not even disclosing

Jeez I didn't know Nigerians were this tribalistic. What I deduce from this thread is that, Ibo men are more inclined to kill their wives. Yoruba men more inclined to kill their mothers, what of Hausa men? Let me guess, House men are more inclined to rule the country while Ibo, Yoruba are killing their mothers and wives. Seem like we got this all figured out, no wander we still in the stone ages. United we stand and conquer, divided we fall and die. I guess we chose the later.

@ bash now you're sounding stupid. Saying 'Yoruba men are promiscuous' is like saying 'human beings eat food'. Promiscuity has no demographic. Educate yourself my brother and lets better ourselves. It's called constructive criticism, not bashing. I'm not here to make you or Igbos look bad. Lets just be factual and better ourselves where we can. God bless you. ONE NIGERIA!!!

alphabet43:

@ bash now you're sounding silly. Saying 'Yoruba men are promiscuous' is like saying 'human beings eat food'. Promiscuity has no demographic. Educate yourself my brother and lets better ourselves. It's called constructive criticism, not bashing. I'm not here to make you or Igbos look bad. Lets just be factual and better ourselves where we can. God bless you. ONE NIGERIA!!!

easy oo

abeg make una sto fight for nairaland all tribes have bad people , haba

hilli666:

Jeez I didn't know Nigerians were this tribalistic. What I deduce from this thread is that, Ibo men are more inclined to kill their wives. Yoruba men more inclined to kill their mothers, what of Hausa men? Let me guess, House men are more inclined to rule the country while Ibo, Yoruba are killing their mothers and wives. Seem like we got this all figured out, no wander we still in the stone ages. United we stand and conquer, divided we fall and die. I guess we chose the later.

it baffles me oo am more concerned about the high rate of crime especially killing and not the tribes but nairaland is something else ,if these are the leaders of tomorrow then the world is finished , they even bring it to youtube to wash thier dirty pants in front of the whole world

alphabet43:

@ bash now you're sounding silly. Saying 'Yoruba men are promiscuous' is like saying 'human beings eat food'. Promiscuity has no demographic. Educate yourself my brother and lets better ourselves. It's called constructive criticism, not bashing. I'm not here to make you or Igbos look bad. Lets just be factual and better ourselves where we can. God bless you. ONE NIGERIA!!!

you are the silly one ,did you read before postin , you typed that its in igbo culture for men to kill thier women and feel like God, if judging by that then its in yoruba culture to kill your mother and be promiscuos. you should be more concerned about hundres slaughtered daily, raped including children in the north and nobody is doing anything about it maybe igbo people and thier culture should be blamed too

@ bash Thats too silly for me to respond to. You and everyone know that. I didn't say it's Igbo culture to kill their women but feel they should be in total control of their women which 'can' lead to violence etc

if found guilty he should be hanged

alphabet43:

@ bash Thats too silly for me to respond to. You and everyone know that. I didn't say it's Igbo culture to kill their women but feel they should be in total control of their women which 'can' lead to violence etc

thats not true we are not dominating even the bride price people rumour about that its high are all rumours there is no such culture in igboland that suggest men be in total control.the man is a lunatic and have been arrested before.

Na wa for some men, their pride too much. I know very well the wife took him there, because of her education. And this is how he pays her back. Even thoug she was bad 2 him, hes supposd to use a better means

i think the reason why women nurses have so much marital wahala in yankee is because of stress, not because they earn more. women of other professions who earn more than their hubbies don't seem to have such problems. nurses sometimes work more than 60 hrs a week. by the time she gets home, she's exhausted. therefore no punny for the husband. that's where wahala starts.

She must have driven him up the effing wall for so long.
(and probably even cheated with some "refined and learned" docs)

The freedom available in the west is almost unsuitable for africans because they get here and the women just
become terrible.
Here, if you have a dispute with your wife, she gets the fuxcking house!
Honestly dont know how i'll react if someone thats supposed to be your soul mate changes drastically out here.

bashr4:


exactly just as we have to start looking into why yoruba people kill their mother , its really bad

please post a link to a story saying that a Yoruba man killed her mother.

Rather than derail this argument into a tribal argument, we should thoroughly trash out this issue.
Its a common trend affecting our demographic-- I imagine a most of NL users are in the 20-35 year age range, and a large fraction live abroad.

Why is this becoming more and more popular? How can we avoid this?
I imagine its not always the case that complete strangers get married.

I'm more curious about cases where the spouses are somewhat familiar with each other, and their relationship degenerates into this type.

Awaiting your contributions.

alphabet43:

@ bashr post the link and dispute my tribal card, lol. Facts are facts. I[b] won't even begin to mention the God complex my Igbo friends have towards women. It's in you guys culture and it's factual.[/b] I've had to get involved multiple times myself. I really was trying to be nice and for your information, I have more unflattering facts that I'm not even disclosing because my intention is not bashing

What complex are you talking about?
You have Igbo friends now means Igbo men have complex towards women.
You dnt really know what you talking about.

@ Henry

alphabet43:

@ Henry

Actually most igbo men I know here in Nigeria are always strict , commanding and beats their wives so it wont be a surprise to see them transfer the act and carry it out beyond borders , have you heard that adage about " taking the man out of the ghetto and not taking the ghetto out of him ?" Lots of igbo men are wife beaters I've seen/heard lots of experience .

quote by titsqueeze
1. man brings wife to US
2. man pays for wife to study nursing
3. wife graduates and start earning more $$$$$ than man
4. wife treats man like piece of sh'it
5. man endures untill point break
6. man fears he is beginning to lose his manhood
7. backed against the wall man decides to fights back
8. with weapon of choice (knife, rope, gun, fist) man launches counter attack
9. strikes a fatal blow on wife
10. wife dead

Sweetheart you have some points here but how about we look at it from the real angle??
1. man brings wife to US
Man marries wife with some unhealthy concepts and mentality like the belief that now he has got (a near servant/slave/children breeder/cook/housekeeper/cleaner/sexual-urge-satisfier- whose satisfaction-does-not-count/keep-your-mouth-shut/money-maker) all rolled into a wife and on he brings her to the US.
2. man pays for wife to study nursing
Some men with the mentality mentioned above goes on to invest in his money making machine in readiness for it to begin to spin money. Poor unsuspecting wife struggles through all those roles/positions she found herself in and graduates thru nursing school and Hussy heaves a sigh of relief "Yes I did it, now let the money spinning begin!
3. wife graduates and start earning more $$$$$ than man
At this stage wify may be nursing some kids, housekeeping,working in the hospital,up and about 16/17 hours a day and when pay day comes may not even have control of the account where her pay is stashed away for hussy to spend on his many projects in Nigeria, cars, enjoyment etc
4. wife treats man like piece of sh'it
Wify begins to feel being used/enslaved, anger, depression,unhappiness begins to accumulate until it explodes some day and unhappiness/quarrel/antagonism begins to rear its head in the home.
5. man endures untill point break
Man begins to question himself how dare this woman (that must not talk when he talks, that must obey every words of his whether good or bad, must be under his control) is beginning to tear eye and want out of his control.
6. man fears he is beginning to lose his manhood
Man becomes a victim of his unhealthy mentality and allows the suppressing norms he believes much in to depress him and make him feel ashamed and at loss
7. backed against the wall man decides to fights back
Man while grabbing at straws as he falls in deeper and deeper into his "self-incarcerated" prison of norms and unhealthy beliefs------
8. with weapon of choice (knife, rope, gun, fist) man launches counter attack
Makes for weapons to defend himself from himself(and unfortunately from the society that lent him these norms that is fast ruining him)
9. strikes a fatal blow on wife
The poor woman who cares for the children, is the cook/housekeeper/money maker(all things rolled into one) becomes a victim of some norms and beliefs that if they were not imbibed in by her husband in the first place would not have destroyed their lives.
10. wife dead
Yet the statistics of women who are losing their lives at the hands of men (who believe that a woman should be used out for all she is worth) is increased by one again.

Come on people, when are we going to begin the shedding of the unhealthy norms and beliefs that our society is riddled with. Underlying all these deaths are men whose mentalities are not allowing their ego rest when a woman begins to earn more than them or even refuses to yield her earnings for his use.
Now we know that some of those norms are indeed dangerous to believe in and imbibe.

sweetguy10:

Actually most igbo men I know here in Nigeria are always strict , commanding and beats their wives so it wont be a surprise to see them transfer the act and carry it out beyond borders , have you heard that adage about " taking the man out of the ghetto and not taking the ghetto out of him ?" Lots of igbo men are wife beaters I've seen/heard lots of experience .

what of the yoruba men that beat their wife what excuses do you have for them , also AA men , european men asian men etc what excuses do you have for them , i for one have not met an igbo man that beats his wife , my brothers dont my dad never did or any of my friends or neighbours so stop talking trash .

A marriage should be of two people that love and respect themselves not two (master and slave) with one of them of the  thinking that the other must be subservient. We women already know and have it in us to respect and love our men, we don't need to have it fed down our throat and get treated like slaves/machines/products that were bought in the market of marriage. Some Nigerian men(no specific tribe intended) are overdoing it really.

@ Bash: and there you have it. Ivynwa sounds like an Igbo woman to me. Maybe if you listen to your women and stop being so defensive you will hear something. That's exactly what this issue is about.

alphabet43:

@ Bash: and there you have it. Ivynwa sounds like an Igbo woman to me. Maybe if you listen to your women and stop being so defensive you will hear something. That's exactly what this issue is about.

whether she is igbo or not is not my concern people should stop playin tribal or racial card if we are goin to progress, am still waiting for her reply it could be useful how men of different tribes or races treat their women cus they seem to be 2 igbo tribes from nigeria and like i said if you read the original thread the man is a lunatic who attempted shooting a customer before this final event

Bashr,
I detest the tribal bashings, we mustn't talk down on ourselves and I refuse to talk down on my Igbo people. It's in all lands, all people, all races. The only thing that differs are the degrees which is what I meant when I said that "Some Nigerian men are really overdoing it"
Loosen up Bashr, don't let nobody get to you. I understand your loyalty to your people, yet you mustn't let that get to you Ojare. We are all just talking. Cheers!

alphabet43:

@ Bash: and there you have it. Ivynwa sounds like an Igbo woman to me. Maybe if you listen to your women and stop being so defensive you will hear something. That's exactly what this issue is about.

What exactly are you saying?
Why didn't you react/speak up when things are done by other ethnic group?
You want to prove Igbo men are violent to their wives or what.
No ethnic group is more violent than the other.

The story is always similar, men going to Nigeria to marry and bring ungrateful wife who marry him just to get a visa to America, use him to get training as a Nurse, once she starts working, her mother in  Nigeria start pressuring her for the $$ and encouage her to divorce him. Some crazy men become frustrated and snap instead of walking away.

Nigerian men, get good and advance education and a real job. When u are ready to marry, do not go to Nigeria to find a wife (unless u want to keep her in Nigeria or relocate to nigeria), it does not work, u will have better chance of a happy married life if u marry a good educated white woman here. most Nigeria women (there are exceptionallly few good Nigerian women) want to be single mothers producing multiple children by multiple fathers for money.

So blame the system, if this people were in Nigeria, I bet that they all will be happily married and the women will be alive today

The freedom and protection for women in that society is too much. The society is tilted precariously against men in favour of women. African women are at high risk of losing their heads at such freedom.