Egocent:

There is no need to be tribalistic about this issue, statitics have shown that Ibo men are prone to domestic violence. I am Ibo and do not dispute this fact at all.

One thing we must understand is that living abroad is not easy, especially for the woman, usually, you do not have any help and you have to do everything yourself, and if you work and your spouse is one of those egocentric men who believe, that he should just sit down watching TV while you return from work and serve his dinner and clean up after him then you are in big trouble.

After serving his meal, you do the dishes, bath the kids put them to bed, you are totally exhausted and at night the man wants you to open your legs for him, like he is doing you a favour, You dont want s, e, x, you just want to sleep cos you are tired, when you complain about him helping out in the house, all you hear is ranting about how He married you and payed your bride price and how you are his property.

When your salary comes in, he demands to know what you spend the money on, and if possible dictates what you use it for. after all, you are his wife(slave).

You have your dreams but he will use mind games on you, and make you relinguish your dreams for the sake of the family. It is very pitiful, He  expects you to worship him ,daily bowing your head to the ground to him for saving you from the life of poverty and bringing you abroad but he forgets that he married a white woman to get that paper he    holds on to so dearly, If the white woman laid the same claim on him for abandoning her after getting the papers, would he not be gunned down too?

After succumbing to this abuse for a period, one day, the woman is going to get really tired and would want to walk away cos she is actually getting nothing from the relationship.

We need to stop all this, Traditional Ibo men must step up and realise that marriage does not mean slavery, Times have changed.

This is becoming common unfortunately as in the states
(by way of MEDIA Nigerian men are viewed as "wife killers";
again that too is unfortunate as we all know i not to be true.
I hope the wife recovers and he gets what is coming to him.

seyibrown:

If she was indeed 'treating him like s/h-i.t after bringing her abroad and paying her nursing school fees', was shooting to kill her the best way to get out of the situation? He could have left the house, left the country or just resigned to fate! Why attempt to murder his partner?

Egocent:

There is no need to be tribalistic about this issue, statitics have shown that Ibo men are prone to domestic violence. I am Ibo and do not dispute this fact at all.

One thing we must understand is that living abroad is not easy, especially for the woman, usually, you do not have any help and you have to do everything yourself, and if you work and your spouse is one of those egocentric men who believe, that he should just sit down watching TV while you return from work and serve his dinner and clean up after him then you are in big trouble.

After serving his meal, you do the dishes, bath the kids put them to bed, you are totally exhausted and at night the man wants you to open your legs for him, like he is doing you a favour, You dont want s, e, x,  you just want to sleep cos you are tired, when you complain about him helping out in the house, all you hear is ranting about how He married you and payed your bride price and how you are his property.

When your salary comes in, he demands to know what you spend the money on, and if possible dictates what you use it for. after all, you are his wife(slave).

You have your dreams but he will use mind games on you, and make you relinguish your dreams for the sake of the family. It is very pitiful, He  expects you to worship him ,daily bowing your head to the ground to him for saving you from the life of poverty and bringing you abroad but he forgets that he married a white woman to get that paper he    holds on to so dearly, If the white woman laid the same claim on him for abandoning her after getting the papers, would he not be gunned down too?

After succumbing to this abuse for a period, one day, the woman is going to get really tired and would want to walk away cos she is actually getting nothing from the relationship.

We need to stop all this, Traditional Ibo men must step up and realise that marriage does not mean slavery, Times have changed.

Iranoladun: From UK to USA to North America lots of Naija marriages hits the rocks while some resulted into violence even death! Why? From personal perspectives & observations from family & friends it all boils down to the differences in 'white man's culture' and Naija's culture.

Ivynwa hit the nail on the head with her analysis.

Why I know most of the wives get easily carried away by their new found freedom and money it takes a lot of wisdom and tolerant from the man to keep the wife in check thereby keeping his 'head' and the marriage.

In the western world brothers, it is a woman's world. You don't expect the same wife you married in Naija (& probably lived with before bringing her over) to work for 16 to 18hours in a day & still continue to play the SOLITARY roles of Cook, Housekeeper, Cleaner, laundry-woman, sexual partner while you return from work (same number of hours or less) but was only watching the latest game on Premier League! Its a question of time before such wife drives you to the wall and test your thresh-hold of pain
& sanity!
Talking about the finance control & the associated problem especially where the woman earns same or more is another thread on its own.


This has nothing to do with a particular tribe but more to do with our cultural orientation which is at variance with the western world. If you are in Rome learn to behave like Romans or get out of Rome!