oldtimersince06:
I had to create a new account to post this.

So, my husband has beaten me 3 times prior to yesternight. I had said if it happens again, I'm going to leave. Last night, he punched me in my face severally and pushed me hard that I sprained my knee.
My concern are my kids. My older child loves his father so much, while the younger one loves me so much. The kids love each other. Do I take my younger child and leave this marriage and separate my kids, or do I leave them with their dad or do I take both of them and trust my older child will be fine without his father?

He has apologized severally this morning but I'm done. He is emotionally abusive on a good day. I can't count the no of times in a day he insults me. He threatens to Kill me and kill himself. My dad doesn't talk to him any more. Let me tell you why.

He didn't have a car at the time, and would go with mine. He was meant to pick the kids up, while I was also waiting for him to pick me up from work. At about 7:30 pm, I called him again asking for when he would get to the kids school and he told me he was busy(Busy here means busy drinking). The school kept calling me, the teachers need to go home. 8 pm, I picked an uber and went to pick them. My phone died and I couldn't charge it till I got home. As I turned my phone on, his call came in and I apologized, that I had picked them up but my phone went off. He said he was in the school and was looking for the kids. I kept on apologizing. He promised to deal with me on getting home. He then called my mum and was shouting at her on phone(he does this regularly). My dad stepped in. He tried to understand the issue. He told my dad, that I disrespected him and that if it was his subordinate in the office( He's in the para military) that disrespected him, they would kill the person and nobody would find the dead body. My dad then said, but she's your wife and not your subordinate. He shouted at my dad and dropped the call.

I go through a lot of emotional stress on a daily basis. I need to leave for my sanity. He's a great father.What do I do about my kids? Matured responses please.

crackhaus:
Dem don come again...

Just yesterday, one was getting questioned about why she would want to leave her child behind with the husband, today this one magically has two children and wants to know if it's okay to leave one behind while taking the other along.

Nonsense and independence...

Ishilove:
Dem never born the man that can do this ish to me. You pick up the phone and shout at my parents? Unthinkable.

oldtimersince06:
I had to create a new account to post this.

So, my husband has beaten me 3 times prior to yesternight. I had said if it happens again, I'm going to leave. Last night, he punched me in my face severally and pushed me hard that I sprained my knee.
My concern are my kids. My older child loves his father so much, while the younger one loves me so much. The kids love each other. Do I take my younger child and leave this marriage and separate my kids, or do I leave them with their dad or do I take both of them and trust my older child will be fine without his father?

He has apologized severally this morning but I'm done. He is emotionally abusive on a good day. I can't count the no of times in a day he insults me. He threatens to Kill me and kill himself. My dad doesn't talk to him any more. Let me tell you why.

He didn't have a car at the time, and would go with mine. He was meant to pick the kids up, while I was also waiting for him to pick me up from work. At about 7:30 pm, I called him again asking for when he would get to the kids school and he told me he was busy(Busy here means busy drinking). The school kept calling me, the teachers need to go home. 8 pm, I picked an uber and went to pick them. My phone died and I couldn't charge it till I got home. As I turned my phone on, his call came in and I apologized, that I had picked them up but my phone went off. He said he was in the school and was looking for the kids. I kept on apologizing. He promised to deal with me on getting home. He then called my mum and was shouting at her on phone(he does this regularly). My dad stepped in. He tried to understand the issue. He told my dad, that I disrespected him and that if it was his subordinate in the office( He's in the para military) that disrespected him, they would kill the person and nobody would find the dead body. My dad then said, but she's your wife and not your subordinate. He shouted at my dad and dropped the call.

I go through a lot of emotional stress on a daily basis. I need to leave for my sanity. He's a great father.What do I do about my kids? Matured responses please.

BigDick70inch:


But 6sta..
That man could not been so cunny to have hidden his abusive trait away from u right from your courtship/dating days..

Why didn't u flee??

Most Kids from broken homes are not always emotionally balanced..

BTW..how old r those kids??

Eketem:
If you leave the kids he can kill them and commit suicide just to get back at you.

Where do you live? If you live ? There is a lot of help legal and otherwise in for victims of abuse. There are very good laws

edoman2016:

When he is beating you in your home, can't you scream so that your landlord or other tenants in the compound bail you out?

Gloriagee:
Honestly, shouting on my parents is totally unacceptable.

oldtimersince06:


Hmmmm. he used to drink and smoke and I refused to date him when we were much younger. He came back with the whole, he's now born again. he doesn't drink and smoke any more. During our wedding reception, he disappeared for some minutes. When he came back, he had just finished smoking. He told me , his friends made him do it. And that's it. From that day onward, i've seen my reality. Initially, i kept calling his family, but they would tell me , I can't say I didn't know he used to drink and smoke heavily.

This reality changed my attitude early on. I'm definitely not the best wife.

oldtimersince06:


We've been married for 10 years. He's been threatening to kill me from the very first year. People are surprised we are still together. The threat only got worse this year and a bit scary this year when he told me he has done it in his mind. And he could kill me in my sleep one day.

djon78:




Don't say that
Most men like this can hide a lot of stuffs
And funny thing is that
Women fall easily for these kind of men

oldtimersince06:


Hmmmm. he used to drink and smoke and I refused to date him when we were much younger. He came back with the whole, he's now born again. he doesn't drink and smoke any more. [/b]During our wedding reception, he disappeared for some minutes. When he came back, he had just finished smoking.[b] He told me , his friends made him do it. And that's it. From that day onward, i've seen my reality. Initially, i kept calling his family, but they would tell me , I can't say I didn't know he used to drink and smoke heavily.

This reality changed my attitude early on. I'm definitely not the best wife.

BigDick70inch:



Djon...
I told u
She's one of those girls that believe nice guys r fools..
Not man enough..
While
The bad guys r the Alpha..
She was trying to tame a bad guy..as per super woman wey she see herself..till the whole bleeped her..
The signs are always there..

Arsenate:

You really know these women well. They always make dumb mistakes. Always picking the wrong options and when shitt hits the fan they come crying looking for sympathy. Makes more sense as to why women tend to always be unhappy. Bad choices. Bad choices. Bad choices.

Arsenate:

You really know these women well. They always make dumb mistakes. Always picking the wrong options and when shitt hits the fan they come crying looking for sympathy. Makes more sense as to why women tend to always be unhappy. Bad choices. Bad choices. Bad choices.

EVILFOREST:
Don't believe a WOMAN yet until you have heard from both SIDES....
Don't forget LADIES also cry while Lying.

BigDick70inch:


Yeah bro..
I thought she was gon deny that..
But 10k God she didn't..

she brought herself into this mess..

Come to think of it again bro..

How can her father just decide to ignore her with such a man laidat despite the beatings..

Definitely..this woman was obviously warned never marry to dat man right from the start..but she did..

I only pity the kids..

BigDick70inch:


But 6sta..
That man could not been so cunny to have hidden his abusive trait away from u right from your courtship/dating days..

Why didn't u flee??

Most Kids from broken homes are not always emotionally balanced..

BTW..how old r those kids??

oldtimersince06:


I'm in Lagos. I don't think he can do it. His mum will take the kids if I ever leave them.

oldtimersince06:



He didn't ignore me. I haven't even told him about this one. Haven't told anyone. Everyone including his family have advised me to run. In my head, I know I need to leave. Just don't know any other life.

Eketem:


You underestimate a narcissist.

In Lagos please go to the office of the public defender. Lagos is very strong on laws against domestic violence. This is their number 0708 060 1080.

They will guide you. If he is truly as abusive as you claim why will you be ready to gamble with your kids lives.

oldtimersince06:


I wish I saw them. Would never have put myself in this mess. I have a toddler and a preschooler.

oldtimersince06:


We've been married for 10 years. He's been threatening to kill me from the very first year. People are surprised we are still together. The threat only got worse this year and a bit scary this year when he told me he has done it in his mind. And he could kill me in my sleep one day.

BigDick70inch:


Check my latest comment bro..

BigDick70inch:


Better u don't even think of divorce..

Cos..while u r gone he will marry another woman..

Then your kids automatic become slaves or housemaids in their father's house..

BigDick70inch:


Better u don't even think of divorce..

Cos..while u r gone he will marry another woman..

Then your kids automatic become slaves or housemaids in their father's house..

oldtimersince06:
I had to create a new account to post this.

So, my husband has beaten me 3 times prior to yesternight. I had said if it happens again, I'm going to leave. Last night, he punched me in my face severally and pushed me hard that I sprained my knee.
My concern are my kids. My older child loves his father so much, while the younger one loves me so much. The kids love each other. Do I take my younger child and leave this marriage and separate my kids, or do I leave them with their dad or do I take both of them and trust my older child will be fine without his father?

He has apologized severally this morning but I'm done. He is emotionally abusive on a good day. I can't count the no of times in a day he insults me. He threatens to Kill me and kill himself. My dad doesn't talk to him any more. Let me tell you why.

He didn't have a car at the time, and would go with mine. He was meant to pick the kids up, while I was also waiting for him to pick me up from work. At about 7:30 pm, I called him again asking for when he would get to the kids school and he told me he was busy(Busy here means busy drinking). The school kept calling me, the teachers need to go home. 8 pm, I picked an uber and went to pick them. My phone died and I couldn't charge it till I got home. As I turned my phone on, his call came in and I apologized, that I had picked them up but my phone went off. He said he was in the school and was looking for the kids. I kept on apologizing. He promised to deal with me on getting home. He then called my mum and was shouting at her on phone(he does this regularly). My dad stepped in. He tried to understand the issue. He told my dad, that I disrespected him and that if it was his subordinate in the office( He's in the para military) that disrespected him, they would kill the person and nobody would find the dead body. My dad then said, but she's your wife and not your subordinate. He shouted at my dad and dropped the call.

I go through a lot of emotional stress on a daily basis. I need to leave for my sanity. He's a great father.What do I do about my kids? Matured responses please.

speechless,,,,,
Baffles me how a once loving couple or family will turn to a war zone or boxing ground. Were is the love that they both profess to each other
Please go with our kids, life has no duplicate

djon78:



Yeah I ve seen it
The signs were there
But they are always attracted to the things that will destroy them
Why?

Mindlog:


If separation and eventual divorce will be of the best interest to her and their kids, then that should be it.

The man should be free to remarry while she has custody of the 2 kids and that shouldn't stop the man to be actively involved in his children' lives while they co-parent.

The belief that once the man remarries, the kids would automatically live with him and their step-mother is false because the family court favours biological mothers unless the man can proof beyond reasonable doubt that the children would be at risk living with their biological mother.

djon78:



Yeah I ve seen it
The signs were there
But they are always attracted to the things that will destroy them
Why?