sad, heard a similar story just this morning and the guy is just about 23 or 24 the and has to marry the girl. Do you have all it takes to cater adequately for a child? Bythe way how old are you?

You would not want t asking your parents for diaper loans would you? These are questions we all need to ask ourselves, before taking any actions, can we face the consequences.

Sad you have to learn your lesson the hard way!! I guess next time you'd think before you leap.

Wish you the best

@topic
you 've made  right decision  by accepting to take responsibility of the child and marry your girl friend. but do u think your friend will leave after delivery and be looking for another husband? i dont think so, she has authomatically achieve her hidden  desire to marry u that why she allowed you  to impregnate  her afterall she know ur g/friend.

Also, has your girl friend  ready to become the 2nd wife? if yes, then u 've sign in for polygamous home(pls consider this).

i will not advice u to marry or not marry her but pregnancy SHOULD NOT be the CONDITION. i see that as lust but let the LOVE BE.

Both of you are liable to bear the consequences, so dont condemn yourself, she also was aware of the result.

Above all ask God for the way out, He knows d end from d begining and His mercy endures forever.

Cheers

Wow, thats so wonder-foollllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When i said in an earlier thread that someone cannot be in a serious relationship and still be good friend with the opposite sex with no strings attached, i was taken for a fool.
So we can see the result.
There's only one thing i will like every NAIRALANDERS to know, for one to say you truly love someone else, you must never do anything to hurt her feelings,because if you do then you don't love her/him.
For in this situation i don't believe in MISTAKES.
You're in a serious relationship for more than five years and still went to impregnate your so-called friend.That simply tells that you have been playing away-matches all this while but this one you lost gallantly.For you to have impregnated her(so-called friend), that means both of you must have been more than intimate.And anything intimate or more than intimate results to this.
We all lie in the cover that we can put the situation under control until the situation puts us under control.
HE THAT FIGHTS AND RUN AWAY LIVES TO FIGHT ANOTHER(he's not a coward).
So my fellow NLs if you're in a serious relationship run away from any other form of intimacy with the opposite-sex.if you don't want to jeopardize your future.

@ poster
there's no need to regret your action because when you're doing the deed you're not regreting the passion then, so you must not regret the consequences, in your next-life you'll be forced to be faithful or get being castrated.

@ jazzyphizzle,

i hope you realize that dating is different from friendship. that friend of yours whom you think is so great may not be so great as a life partner.

if you go ahead and marry her because she is pregnant, what happens when she isn't pregnant anymore? what if you let your girlfriend go, only to realise you are not the father of this child? my dear, dont let supposed 'friends' ruin your life. now what kind of friend will put you in this mess? and you claim she is a good person, are you really sure about that?

whoever post this topic your own done reach you be dat hehehehehehe happy father's day hehehehehee

@poster

I hope you have all gone for HIV test. It is risky fetching water from another man's borehole without protection

me am allways saying MAN and WOMAN no good to be friends some say I be lokal person, now e don happen. me I no undastand, u say one girl na ur friend and the oda one na ur  girlfriend abi?  dat babe wey be ur  girlfriend no be girl? ol boy u don KOLO BIG TIME.  just to tell us dat u get 2 girlfriends and 1 don get bele naim u de speak grammer? yeye fowl like u [ kolo mental]

why do you have to marry a girl because she is pregnant for you. Yes I have female friends that I dont sleep with and it never crossed my mind to sleep with them. They are just good friends and nothing more - I wont hang around a girl I will gbenshi.

Too bad you are in this predicament - next time put a sock on it!

Bros thats a fast one there but next time u apply some calculation, Anyway sha na wetin u chop na him hook u for throat so.

JazzyP
Dont lie you did it more than once! what kinda of friend will be hoping you leave your long term girlfriend without giving you something to lure you

do what you know is right,

Jazzy Phizzle

let me give u advice from a woman who has dated adn is currently dating a man that women lust after constantly.  When a woman loves u, tha tis the best gift u can ever have.   IF UR GIRLFREIND LOVES You LIKE You MENTIONED, DONT WORRY SHE WONT LEAVE You, BUT You MUST NOT MARRY THAT IDIOT You CALL A FREIND WHO PROBABLY GOT PREGNANT FOR SOMEONE ELSE.  THIS MIGH TBE A MEAN ADVICE BUT START TREATING HER LIKE TRASH, JUST TO LET HER KNOW THAT IF You MARRY HER UR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HER IS ONLY GOING TO KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE. LET HER KNOW THAT IF You MARRY HER You WILL CHEAT ON HER, NOT RESPECT HER, AND ACT LIKE You ARE STILL SINGLE, You WILL MAKE HER CRY EVERY NIGHT SO THAT SHE WILL REGRET EVER PUTTING You IN THIS SITUATION.  PLUS WHILE You ARE IN HER PRESENCE FLIRT WITH OTHER GIRLS, AND MAKE HER LOOK BAD.  ALSO TELL EVERYONE You CAN WHAT A SLUT SHE IS, OH BOY CLEARLY You ARE A NICE GUY BECAUSE IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, THAT GIRL WOULD HATE MY GUTS.

NOW ON A NICER NOTE, JUST TELL UR GIRLFREIND AND REFUSE TO MARRY YOUR FRIEND, I MEAN AFTER ALL MANY PEOPLE IN NIGERIA NOW ARE HAVING KIDS WITHOUT HUSBANDS, AT LEAST THE DUMB ONES ARE.  ADN IF THAT DOES NOT WORK, TELL HER FAMILY THAT You WILL MAKE HER LIFE MISERABLE, AND THAT MARRYING HER WONT SAVE FACE, EVERYONE WOULD KNOW THAT SHE SLEPT WITH You ADN GOT PREGNANT WAY BEFORE You TWO GOT MARRIED, SO SHE WILL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF EVERYONE THAT KNOWS HER.

OK FINAL ADVICE.    TELL HER TO Bleep OFF.  AND THAT THOUGH You APOLOGIZE FOR THE MISTAKE IN HER BELLY WHICH THE AUTHENTICITY IS NOT PURELY VALID.  You WOULD MARRY HER IF You WERE GIVEN A MILLION DOLLARS AND THAT You LOVE UR GIRLFRIEND, AND THAT IF FOR SOME REASON You END UP MARRYING HER, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE SECOND TO UR GIRLFRIEND, UR MISTRESSES, UR DOG, UR CAR, UR JOB, UR ONE NIGHT STANDS, AND UR SHIT.

@ post

what realy happend? did u forget to use ur condom or did it break

i feel u sha and no one prays to be in ur shoes anyhow.

but its not d end of d world

apply wisdom

Well, the thing is unless you are rady to get married to two women you better make a choice. Well, i suppose you have heard the whole 'you should have been more careful' speech and am sure you are wishing you could turn back the hands of time. How exactly do you feel about this friend of yours? and does your girlfriend know yet?You have to really start answering this questions cause the 'bun in the oven' isn't going to wait for you to decide- you have maybe just under five months to decide.

What you need to do is start making plans with your friend about what you need to do regarding the baby situation. You should also consider the fact that your girlfriend may leave you because she may never trust you again especially around your friend that is soon to be your baby mother-who is to say you won't still be sleeping with her after the baby is born. Even if you won't be marrying your friend, you are still goin to be in her life because of the baby and most ladies I know may have a problem with that especially in this circumstance.

You mentioned that you think your friend is up to something - hello, reality check! - this girl has loved you for a long time,you have the qualities she wants in her man and you probably just  and maybe your girlfriend has always been the obstacle that has been in her way,but now, she has the upper hand cause you foolishly cheated with her and got her pregnant - of course she is up to something and she obtained it Your parents are just trying to do what they feel is right. You shouldn't marry the girl because she is pregnant with the baby though otherwise you will have a miserable married life.

Good luck with whatever you are going to do and see how one moment of pleasure has completely changed you life so think before you act.

the person above me has a point, yeah your girlfriend might leave u emphasis on MIGHT.  

But check this out, u are a girl, and u are dating a boy, he says he loves u, then sleeps with his good female friend.  She gets pregnant for him, but yet he tells her to go to hell, that he made a mistake and wont leave u even for his baby mama.  Now if that is not love and committment i don't know what is.  look if your girlfriend is smart she wont leave, but of course she migh tneed to know what your plans for the future will be concerning marriage and all

OH and plus stop feeling bad for your stupid female friend after all she is the slowpoke who got pregnant.  stupid girls don't know that they should carry condom around if they are having sex.  girls can be such stupid, morornic assholes.  I MEAN FOR GOODNESS SAKE, of course men like to have sex without condoms, i mean by now we have already establish taht fact since the 1600 BC.  it's not like they are the ones getting pregnant, so they don't care whether they use condoms or not.  it is the woman's responsibility to make sure he has one or better carry it in your purse and stop making stupid faces when u get pregnant, like she wasnt the one that spread her likes kai. SO guys should stop feeling bad for girls that let themselves get pregnant.  If anything worry more about the STDs u might have contracted. IF SHE COULD HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH U SHE COULD HAVE DONE IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

My guy, I really pity you. If you really love your girl,you wouldn't have done what u did. You have to decide from what is on ground. You are not in control of the situation at hand now cuz your prick has taken control.

One way, is for you to open up to your girlfriend and let her know what had happened, maybe she will forgive you. She will definately dump u and be disappointed. But you maybe luck if she decides to hang on and accept that it was a mistake. In this case, you will have to accept to be the father of that kid. This simply implies that you are getting married to two(2) women and that is death on its own, but if your heart can carry it, go ahead.

Last option, is to leave you partner and marry your "friend" and accept things the way they come since you want to be a good father to your kid. Your partner will be disappointed and feel dejected. Its better sometimes to break an heart than living like a death man.

Safe journey!!!

DUDE


dont listen to these lame advices, if u marry that girl u will resent her and hate her everyday u wake up and see her face on ur pillow. u wont love her enough, and wont buy her beautiful things. Worse as ur kids grow up htey will notice that daddy does not care for mommy, adn they could grow to resent u too. Everyone makes mistakes, but u should never ever go into marriage becaue some chick got pregnant for u. Imagine if she was a one night stand, would u still marry her. O boy u are just caving because the families know each other. tell her welcome to the life of single mother hood, people before her in nigeria have done it and people after her will. Be a great father to the kid, buy the kids stuff, and bring them over to your house when it is ur scheduled time but dont marry the broad. U WILL REGRET IT.

That makes a lot of sense. Never marry because you "should". Marry because you want to, no matter what.

4 months down,5 to go Cant wait! Biko what color of Asebi re we using for the naming ceremony? and You must Do Owambe hence u don tell us and i ve already invited myself.
You want advice eh?Didnt u hear when 2face said u shld remember to use protection when u re doing what u want to.
_{even if he doesnt take his own advice.}*
He that brought ants infested firewood into his house indeed invited the lizard to a feast*
Use your tongue to count your teeth and i pray your girlfriend leaves u because u sure don't deserve her and u dnt love her. and seriously dnt marry her just cos she is pregnant wth ur child cos dat might even make u more miserable.

u know after going back and readin the begining of the thread adn all the replies, i have come to the conclusion taht u are a slowpoke.  @ poster.  talking about hte girl is a good girl, oh boy she bleeped u when she knew u were with a girlfreind, decided not to use a condom so that she would get pregnant. finally did get pregnant and refused to abort, and now is forcing u to marry her.  that girls is a devil in disguise, u don't know these nigerian women, please don't let her smiles and cries fool u, people cheat all the time but don't get pregnant, so y her.  THat girl is evil and once u two marry if u decide to change your mind, i mean after all (she is a nice person) *rolls eyes sarcastically*  her true colors will come out and then u will see what she is truly made off. 

pathetic, she slept with u when u had a girlfreind, that speaks poorly, really really poorly of her, adn she is a Nairaland user, well i hope she reads this, and it shames her.  That chick needs to be shamed into feeling guilty for what she did, that is the only reason y i'm judging her soo harshly.  I still think u should tell her to mess off. she is a thief

ANd i pray that the next time u stick your privates where it doesnt belong it gets bitten off   u derseve every pain, guilt and insults that is coming your way

If this could happen at a point you claimed you could die for her, what guarantee is there that she won't be spending the rest of her life with a cheat if she eventually marries you? She might agree to stay with you but catch her own fun behind your back too since her trust for you has been destroyed.

As for your 'friend',remember the sexual BOND you had with her so don't even think of treating her like a rag cos if she were, you wouldn't sleep with her rather treat her like the one who is carrying your baby cos if you decide to hurt her the baby hurts too: that sounds like you are heading towards polygamy doesn't it? not to worry, you are man enough to handle two or more ladies or are you not?

I do not believe it was your first time of having intimacy with 'friend'. Anytime, a thief is caught stealing turns out to be "the first time"

Upcoming Daddy,
The least you could do,to at least respect your girl friend u claim to love(because i don't believe u on this)was to cheat on her using a condom.
My Gosh at this age and time, sleeping with someone u don't intend to commit yourself to without a condom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh boy u are on your own o.

Did't mama tell you, if you play with fire you get burnt. No if no butts about it, if na only good friend why you no protect your erection. Am very glad to hear she is going to keep the baby, never ever ask a woman to abort God's child. I bet you are the only man who doesn't know how babies are made. Abortion is not a method of birth control. If ever there is a next time THINK HARD BEFORE YOU GET BETWEEN THE WOMAN'S LEGS. May she bore you a healthy child. Meanwhile go listen to Usher song, 'confessions', to cheer you up.

eeeeeeeeyyaaaaaaa,,sorryooooo.this is serious ooo.anyway,take heart it's one of those things that happen when u don't listen to what ur mama told u, but how come it was this ur friend that got pregnant.ol' boy u no try oo.why did u sleep with her now, anyhow shaa,take heart, but u don't have to marry her just take care of her and ur baby, papa bonboy,

marry both,

and continue to enjoy both fool.

what's this abt this condom bruhaha?one question if ur frnd hadn't gotten pregnant wud u have told heer u cheated on her?ur girlfrnd must b an angel 4 4giving u,cos naija baba go show u peper,stick by my advice marry ur frnd,what goes around comes around.

Congratulations!!!
I will send down baby food and pampers as soon as the baby pops out!

[center][size=17pt]This are reason why men are useless , they think through their di cks [/size] [/center] , Btw WHEN IS THE BABYSHOWER

Some men dear.Lets not generalize.There re still a few good men

Omo Eko:

[center][size=17pt]This are reason why men are useless , they think through their di cks [/size] [/center] , Btw WHEN IS THE BABYSHOWER

U blame them dats nature 4 u. that thing has a mind of its own

broda, sincere and candid advice (from experience), dont allow anybody to raoilroad you into marrying the girl, fine u've made a mistake, but u shld nt suffer forever cuz of just one misfire,i had a similar problem 5yrs back, and u know what, d baby was given birth to, i support d girl until she got a job and my daughter now lives with, unless u want to,dnt allow anybody to force you into marriage,take responsibility for the baby,in fact you have to support the mother financially and otherwise until she can start her life again but do not I REPEAT do not exchange vows with her unless you want to, and as par your girlfriend, if she loves you enough to forgive you, by the way have u had a heart to heart talk with her, continue your life together but if not, life goes on
But really u dense small o! in ds age when everybody knows abt birth control!! u no even fear for your life, if she get STD nko,

Alright, I'm done laughing,

Here is my advice, Boy you fuc.ked up, (i guess you already know this), You are in major shit (You should know this too). It's a shame she turned down your request for an abortion (which would have solved a whole lot of problems). So now we are left with the following options; 1. You could wait for her to have the baby, then run a DNA or paternal test on the kid to ascertain you are his daddy (if positive, then you assume the responsibility of a dad), 2. You could deny the kid outrightly (You wouldn't be the first), 3. If you really love the girl (the pregnant one), you could switch and marry her instead (for the sake of the kid), 4. You could runaway from home (and leave the world with yet another bastard), 5. You could raise the child as your own sharing visitation rights with the mother (which means your girlfriend/fiancee should be ready to accept a step-child, which is very rare), 6. She could give birth to the kid and give his ass up for adoption (which I do not support), 7. you could go on your knees and pray for a miscarriage (although I think it is already too late for that), 8. You could, emm, Bleep it! either ways you are screwed, Next time remember, (USE A CONDOM),

thats my advice, The ball is in your court.

wow esss.