this thread is stale

I think it's high time girls need to stop this bull shit, why should we be tying guys down with pregnancy, and bringing innocent children into this wicked world, if you want a guy to marry you, then make him fall in love with you and make up his mind on his own to marry you.

I believe it's girls that lack confidence in themselves that do horrible things like this and should never be considered as wives, marriages resulting from such actions don't last so men desist from it and use condoms if you can't hold yourselves.

AM SURE THE GIRL MUST HAVE INSISTED ON "NO CONDOM", GUESS WAS A STRATEGY AND IT WORKED.
GUY, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

This thread should be removed cos' it doesn't make any sense. Looking for the advice when the damage had been done already. campaign after election, My friend go ahead with planed marriage cos' is all your fault.

chai

hahahahaha
this guy is a real player
i like guys that score goal easily
brother u cant reject ur blood now, so go ahead and marry her for the sake
of the unborn babe okey, u done score one round

There are enough illegitimate children floating the streets. I understand that mistakes happen and people get carried away, but i suggest you step out of your comfort zone, because your 'big dreams' are going to change. Thinking otherwise is deceiving yourself and ensuring a lifetime of drama.

How exactly do you intend to be a good father? How do you explain to a child your reasons for your decision to have him/her born illegitimately? Call me old fashioned, but i admired our parents generations, they had the recipe for relationships, they made sense and lasted longer. I guess the difference with our generation is that they look for ways to dodge responsibility by ensuring their freedom isn't interfered with. I think i'll leave love aside (especially since love didn't stop you from cheating) and say you need to 'sit up'. Sit down and chat with the mother of your child, and see if marriage in the cards will work for the two of you, one person is not entitled to make the decision. The only way it will be thrown out is if both of you decide you don't want marriage, and then both of you can sit with your parents and apologize for your careless actions and show yourselves and your parents that you're taking responsibilty. I also think by doing it that way, you give your girlfriend a lil peace( afterall, the true worth of a man is his actions in adversity). When you make your bed, you lie on it, for better or worse! Goodluck!

ur girlfriend will never 4give u if u eventually marry her.

Congratulations!!!

Atleast you will bid farewell to bachelor hood,
settle down and stop cheating on your wife.
If you do, another woman will be pregnant for you.
Keep that stuff in between your legs in its place.

My advice: Marry her!

what do u mean u don't want 2 quit relationship with ur girl how are sure that ur girl is not cheating on u what is ur problem women are not trust worthy likewise men too.accept responsibilty and carry on with ur life coz life goes on with or without u.how are u so sure that ur girl is Gods desire girl for u.God sometimes uses foolish things to xplain important things.Cheer up are move on.I was in love with 2 women but now life goes on

just start buying baby things[b] baba bomboi[/b]

Hello all,

It's been over 2 years since I started this thread. Amazingly, I am still alive and well!

My son is doing well. Even though I am not married to his mother and it's no where near an ideal situation, we try to be civil and provide for him.

It's a stale thread, I agree. I just had to post something on it!

P.S. I've added another heir to the throne. She looks just like my girlfriend. Oops! Now wife.

what about ur girl friend

@dammiecool,

She is now my wife!

JazzyDizzle I would like to know how it is going because I find myself today in the exact same place as your ex-girlfriend now wife used to be. Except that in my case, this is the second “love child” that he’s had. The first one I was aware of going into the relationship.he is now talking of marriage and being a good father to his two children as well but is that really possible? The situation is also less than ideal with his 1rst babymama so why should I expect things to get better now that another little one has been added to the mix?

better

I hate chicks wey wan use belle tie person down

@olanna08

I must admit that it has not been easy. To be honest, there are days I just wanna end it all.

Of course, there comes the frustration of not being able to see my son whenever I want to. I am only allowed once in a week and this isnt guaranteed either. Also, there comes the times of extortion from baby momma.

Then on the other hand, drama from wife over trivial issues. Snide and hurtful remarks. Deliberate or maybe not-so-deliberate techniques to frustrate my duties as a father to my son.

So many set-backs that I just wanna give up sometimes. But I am committed to ensuring I succeed and hopefully I am learning how to deal with my situation on a daily basis.

To your situation: I find it uneasy that your boyfriend has 2 kids before settling with you. I really can't agree which would be considered worse; both kids being from the same woman, or from different women. Either way, I am not comfortable with it. I am in those shoes and would NEVER have another kid on the outside again! For him to do it twice, hmmmm,

If you're convinced that he is changed and would love you whole-heartedly even with his problems, plus you would not form a bad habit into the marriage, that will be enough to make him regret his proposing to you. Then I'd say go for it.

If you have strong doubts, please abort!

I understand the issues women face looking for a suitable partner but one should also thread carefully.

I wish you good luck!

@dammiecool

I just never thought she was that kind of person. I guess i must have got carried away. Now i know say them full everwhere o!

@poster

I have a solution for you. Just walk away. From your family,your girlfriend and your friend the baby momma. Try this today. A trial will confuse you

God u saved me

JazzyPhizzle thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. I needed a man point of vue of the issue. See I only found out about the second time at the vert last minute. By that time the families had gotten involved which makes it hard to back out. His family now knows but mine doesn’t…I can’t even find the words to start with. But they will not forgive me if I walk into this keeping them in the darkness. Whether he loves me wholeheartedly? Hard one to answer. Truth is he is a confused man! Who would not be? He had know both the girls for less than a month before he got them pregnant ( no comment) and feels that all women are conniving creatures which necessarily bears an impact on me and this relationship that’s proving quite heavy to lift off the ground. It is very hard to love someone only to see them enter into lifelong relationships with other women and you know there is nothing you can do about it…just swallow it and go on…please bear with your wife, this must be really hard for her and will always be. she loves you dearly to have stood on your side. I am sure you are being the best father that you can. Kids are always a blessing…

@dammiecool

Why do I have a feeling that you have narrowly escaped death at least once in your adult (or not-so-adult! ) life.

@olanna

Can I respond to you tomorrow?

Of course Jazzy!

@olanna08

I suggest you let someone in the family know. It may not be the best advice (some would ask that everyone know about his two babies before roping them all in) but once the news breaks (and it will!), they will be disappointed in you not letting them in on it. Remember that this union is about famlies and not just the two of you. Never mind what the oyinbo people will say.

If you decide to go on with the marriage, here are a few lines from me:

1. Please be patient and supportive of his responsibilities. As you have rightly mentioned, he is a bit confused and needs time to settle down. He needs all the support he can get. From you too!

2. Make a commitment to make the marriage work.

3. Earn your own income and invest wisely. Remember your children have siblings already and they will share part of his belongings. Supplement for your kids so that they will be comfortable after you guys are no longer around.

4. Do you think he could stray again? I'll reiterate that I am not comfortable with this arrangement. But who knows so be watchful of him without making this obvious. Would he cheat on you again?

I hope all turn out well for you.

Regards

Jazzy,
was away for a while but I am back now to say thank you for taking the time to answer and share some advice…
I still have not taken a final decision on the matter but it was truly helpful having a man’s point of vue on the matter.
I hope all is well with you and your family.

ooh,dat's pathetic, take responsibility,

@olanna08

Good to hear from you once again. Hope you had a good trip.

Times are tough but my family is fine and hanging in there.

I ve read a lot of immature responses but some are reasonable.I am presently in the same situation and the girl made me believe she was on contraceptives.She got pregnant and i realised that she carefully planned it.Sex is spontaneous and after some time of using condoms,u desire something more natural,especially if u know the girls hiv status.I took charge after my family got to know,and made everyone understand my that i wasn't going to marry a girl just because she got pregnant for me.

haaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssshhhhh.
this is what is called ( obe ti danu ) for yoruba. your soup do pour 4 ground
my Guy. it is a sorry case.
i understand.
the thing for don catch una for one place wey you no fit loose the opportunity.
ehn, na so.
my advice, no go marry non sense o
no go live the rest of your life in mysry

@ Poster!!!!That's your Problem, I dislike guys like you. I mean, why do guys/gurls can't be faithful to each other? I always wanna cry when I hear people cheating on each other, I just hate it.

Congratulobiaaa. My little advice 4 u is to marry her and forget about your gf nd focus on how to start your family life. Plz, don't 4get to invite nairalanders to come an CHOP rice on your naming ceremony. Who know's may be u and ur so called gf relationship is like TOO GOOD TO LEAVE AND TOO BAD TO STAY. Take a vacation with ur wife to be. Enjoy urself

Are a kid or u ar not tought biology n ur sec sch dat what u and ur friend did together wil one became pregenant?abi aridin ni e ni o doyin tan o waa pariwo aridin.na ur problem b dat one.my one b say how u con do ham. pls teach me but i asure u dat my own wil be diffrent.inform da my girl friend na 3 babys she go diliver