House, what are your opinions on this matter?

There are two questions in there and they have two very simple answers respectively:

1. Children ought not to neglect their parents given the sacrifices they made.

2. Parents ought not to make demands of their adult children.

da average Nigerian parent have da "entitlement" mentality that they deserve whatever they demand from their children (when they become adults). this is the reason why most Nigerian parents don't plan for their old age. they will only plan to be liabilities to their children at that stage.
you will hear them say: "i birthed u & trained u so it's ur duty to take care of me at old age". it is worse among the mothers who think they deserve all just because they carried u in their womb for 9 months .
am not saying they shouldn't be taken care of,
but they should also plan for that stage of their lives so that their children can have more focus on their nuclear families (which will likely be at its growing stage).
this is one thing I love about the westerners. they plan for themselves ahead.

children (especially guys) should also plan to take care of their parents. it is a proven fact that the Nigerian girl show more care for her aged parents than her brothers. this is unfair. we get carried away by hustles, buzzles & co. but when they die, we will spend huge amounts of money to bury them. that is selfishness.
a lot of aged persons would've remained alive if a quarter of da amount spent on their burial was given to them (at a particular time) while alive.
I've seen lots of guys living big while their parents lacked care. everyone only waits for Christmas. it is more like show off to me.
it's 365 days, & u are only there for 12 or 21(max).

everyone should buckle up

if you come here to debate or argue about children not take care of their parents, may your own child never take care of you, giving birth to children is not just to maintain the family lineage, it is a way of doing a long-term investment, so after devoting your time and energy training a child both in morale support, security, clothing, shelter and education, you feel as a parent you are not entitled to the child especially when you have exhausted your youth taking care of him, my dear parents deserves an accolade, e no easy.

anthonyuncle:
da average Nigerian parent have da "entitlement" mentality that they deserve whatever they demand from their children (when they become adults). this is the reason why most Nigerian parents don't plan for their old age. they will only plan to be liabilities to their children at that stage.
you will hear them say: "i birthed u & trained u so it's ur duty to take care of me at old age". it is worse among the mothers who think they deserve all just because they carried u in their womb for 9 months .
am not saying they shouldn't be taken care of,
but they should also plan for that stage of their lives so that their children can have more focus on their nuclear families (which will likely be at its growing stage).
this is one thing I love about the westerners. they plan for themselves ahead.

children (especially guys) should also plan to take care of their parents. it is a proven fact that the Nigerian girl show more care for her aged parents than her brothers. this is unfair. we get carried away by hustles, buzzles & co. but when they die, we will spend huge amounts of money to bury them. that is selfishness.
a lot of aged persons would've remained alive if a quarter of da amount spent on their burial was given to them (at a particular time) while alive.
I've seen lots of guys living big while their parents lacked care. everyone only waits for Christmas. it is more like show off to me.
it's 365 days, & u are only there for 12 or 21(max).

everyone should buckle up

Some valid points there... That entitlement mentality though.

Freestainworld:
if you come here to debate or argue about children not take care of their parents, may your own child never take care of you, giving birth to children is not just to maintain the family lineage, it is a way of doing a long-term investment, so after devoting your time and energy training a child both in morale support, security, clothing, shelter and education, you feel as a parent you are not entitled to the child especially when you have exhausted your youth taking care of him, my dear parents deserves an accolade, e no easy.

It has not come to insult please. This matter is important because most people, both old and young don't know how to go about it. Your contribution can go a long way in correcting some abnormalities.

anthonyuncle:
da average Nigerian parent have da "entitlement" mentality that they deserve whatever they demand from their children (when they become adults). this is the reason why most Nigerian parents don't plan for their old age. they will only plan to be liabilities to their children at that stage.
you will hear them say: "i birthed u & trained u so it's ur duty to take care of me at old age". it is worse among the mothers who think they deserve all just because they carried u in their womb for 9 months .
am not saying they shouldn't be taken care of,
but they should also plan for that stage of their lives so that their children can have more focus on their nuclear families (which will likely be at its growing stage).
this is one thing I love about the westerners. they plan for themselves ahead.

children (especially guys) should also plan to take care of their parents. it is a proven fact that the Nigerian girl show more care for her aged parents than her brothers. this is unfair. we get carried away by hustles, buzzles & co. but when they die, we will spend huge amounts of money to bury them. that is selfishness.
a lot of aged persons would've remained alive if a quarter of da amount spent on their burial was given to them (at a particular time) while alive.
I've seen lots of guys living big while their parents lacked care. everyone only waits for Christmas. it is more like show off to me.
it's 365 days, & u are only there for 12 or 21(max).

everyone should buckle up

You've made sense but how did you come to the fact that girls take care of their parents more?

Another facts I want all to understand here is that love conquers all...

Parents are meant to love their children and train them because they love them, and not what they stand to gain after training them.

Children should take care of their parent because they love them and for the care and support they had given them from childhood.

Both need each other. Without parents, there is no child

Richy4:
You should first of all ask what the African culture is all about....

If we gonna go by western culture then it's not every parent that see their kids through school over there... once the child clock 18, he/ she might request for a grant from the govt (student loan). The child will repay the loan after graduation.... Now that leaves the parent to continue saving the money they would have used to pay for the child tuition.. the money saved would be used to pay for a nursing home or a retirement village were the parent will be looked after during old age... so there will be no demand whatsoever from the parent..... And no parent will hold it against the child if they cannot spare a kobo on them..

Now you don't expect an African parent that used up all his fund( because their was no assistance from govt) in training a child not to at least ask for something in return at old age do you?

If we gonna copy the Europeans, check their system first... what works for them, and what cannot work in Africa.

I agree with you but, read this...
I have seen a parent that sponsored a particular child up to university level but, when the child could not meet up with his demands monthly due to economic issues in the country, the father now regretted in investing because of high expectations... It is the African mentality but is it the right mentality.

You will see that if the intension of investing in your kids is not to collect back, you will even gain more... But, if you hope to gain because you invested I them, you may be disappointed.

To your first question...
Yes. parents have the right to demand money from their children. In fact, the children don't need to wait for the parents to make demands before doing the needful. It is part of their responsibility to take care of their parents in their old age.

Then to your second question... I think I answered that already. Since they didn't neglect you but contributed greatly to making you the succesful person you are today, it' d be unfair to neglect them.

pozehnani:
To your first question...
Yes. parents have the right to demand money from their children. In fact, the children don't need to wait for the parents to make demands before doing the needful. It is part of their responsibility to take care of their parents in their old age.

Then to your second question... I think I answered that already. Since they didn't neglect you but contributed greatly to making you the succesful person you are today, it' d be unfair to neglect them.

You use the word "unfair" meaning on the part of the children, they are "suppose to" but not a "law" that binds the fact they must right?

Every reasonable person suppose to know what to do even if it is not your parents. How much have we appreciated those that has helped us in one way or the other...

Omokowa:


You use the word "unfair" meaning on the part of the children, they are "suppose to" but not a "law" that binds the fact they must right?

Every reasonable person suppose to know what to do even if it is not your parents. How much have we appreciated those that has helped us in one way or the other...

Yes unfair on the childrens part.

Karleb:


You've made sense but how did you come to the fact that girls take care of their parents more?

check ur extended family

No right to demand but if you take care of your children, they should morally take care of you. Except they have a stupid mother that prevents you from taking care of them. Once they are adults, they would understand and take care of the parent that truly lives them.

dprincedej:
No right to demand but if you take care of your children, they should morally take care of you. Except they have a stupid mother that prevents you from taking care of them. Once they are adults, they would understand and take care of the parent that truly lives them.

So unfortunate that some parents give birth to children only to take advantage of them. Imagine giving your daughter out for prostitution and, pressuring your sons to the extent that they have to rob just to satisfy their parents desires.

anthonyuncle:
da average Nigerian parent have da "entitlement" mentality that they deserve whatever they demand from their children (when they become adults). this is the reason why most Nigerian parents don't plan for their old age. they will only plan to be liabilities to their children at that stage.
you will hear them say: "i birthed u & trained u so it's ur duty to take care of me at old age". it is worse among the mothers who think they deserve all just because they carried u in their womb for 9 months .
am not saying they shouldn't be taken care of,
but they should also plan for that stage of their lives so that their children can have more focus on their nuclear families (which will likely be at its growing stage).
this is one thing I love about the westerners. they plan for themselves ahead.

children (especially guys) should also plan to take care of their parents. it is a proven fact that the Nigerian girl show more care for her aged parents than her brothers. this is unfair. we get carried away by hustles, buzzles & co. but when they die, we will spend huge amounts of money to bury them. that is selfishness.
a lot of aged persons would've remained alive if a quarter of da amount spent on their burial was given to them (at a particular time) while alive.
I've seen lots of guys living big while their parents lacked care. everyone only waits for Christmas. it is more like show off to me.
it's 365 days, & u are only there for 12 or 21(max).

everyone should buckle up

That entitlement mentality stems from the fact a lot of parents actually sacrifice all they have to train their kids.

A lot of parents didn't have enough to 'save' or 'plan the future' after training their kids so they naturally expect that kid to become their pension in old age which is setting the kid up for failure and parents for disappointment.

Today, parents realize the mistakes of parents of old so they plan their future in addition to caring for their kids today.

Lower birth rates and higher earning power also helps.

Y wl any reasonable child that received love and care throughout his growing up decides to neglect his aged parents?
If u train ur kids with love and not making it look like they're an asset u need to invest on, be rest assured they will never c u as a liability. I have seen a father, that before he could give out sch fees, he will first of all abuse d son, telling him if u like forget me tomorrow and I will curse u.

U don't even need to request before a reasonable child know ur needs if he's doing well for himself.
Abeg o, we won't burden you at all, right now we are doing all we can to offer you the best we can, may God crown our efforts over u guys.
please look after us if God bless us with old age. Old age come with physical weakness. Most times I don't think is about money or material things, old people need love too

bukatyne:


That entitlement mentality stems from the fact a lot of parents actually sacrifice all they have to train their kids.

A lot of parents didn't have enough to 'save' or 'plan the future' after training their kids so they naturally expect that kid to become their pension in old age which is setting the kid up for failure and parents for disappointment.

Today, parents realize the mistakes of parents of old so they plan their future in addition to caring for their kids today.

Lower birth rates and higher earning power also helps.

thank God u spoke about birth rates.

some parents (& even youths) don't plan before giving birth to kids. they have that perception that all u need do is give birth, and resources from "God knows where" will be available to train the child(ren).

if only birth rates can be controlled, this problem will be solved.

how many families have u seen that have one or two children and yet are very poor?

Oizee:
Y wl any reasonable child that received love and care throughout his growing up decides to neglect his aged parents?
If u train ur kids with love and not making it look like they're an asset u need to invest on, be rest assured they will never c u as a liability. I have seen a father, that before he could give out sch fees, he will first of all abuse d son, telling him if u like forget me tomorrow and I will curse u.

U don't even need to request before a reasonable child know ur needs if he's doing well for himself.
Abeg o, we won't burden you at all, right now we are doing all we can to offer you the best we can, may God crown our efforts over u guys.
please look after us if God bless us with old age. Old age come with physical weakness. Most times I don't think is about money or material things, old people need love too

i won't accept sacrifice as a ticket to entitlement.

(when it comes to children upbringing)the westerners sacrifice more than Africans.
u see parents drop their kids at school daily;
parents sacrifice their time to go see their kids perform or play games at school;
parents even sacrifice their choice (of career, relationship, decisions etc) for their kids.
if the parent(s) don't meet up to any of these, the children will express their anger.

how many persons here had their parents (who own cars) drive them to school daily?
how many persons here had their parents present at their schools annual end of the year party (tbh, da reason some mothers attend that function dz days is because, they pay huge amount of money for it & they wanna have a bite from their money)?
some Nigerian parents never attended their kids PTA even for once!
how many persons here were allowed their choice of career (and other decisions) by their parents?
just try to express ur dissatisfaction/anger to ur parents for not being there and u will receive beatings like da talking drum!

this entitlement mentality have gone deep into the Nigerian system.
parents feel entitled because they birthed da child and kids feel entitled to their parents wealth because they are their offsprings (without even been able to prove if they can manage and increase that wealth over time. this is one reason why african businesses don't survive after the founder's demise).

sacrifice isn't a ticket to entitlement.

anthonyuncle:


i won't accept sacrifice as a ticket to entitlement.

(when it comes to children upbringing)the westerners sacrifice more than Africans.
u see parents drop their kids at school daily;
parents sacrifice their time to go see their kids perform or play games at school;
parents even sacrifice their choice (of career, relationship, decisions etc) for their kids.
if the parent(s) don't meet up to any of these, the children will express their anger.

how many persons here had their parents (who own cars) drive them to school daily?
how many persons here had their parents present at their schools annual end of the year party (tbh, da reason some mothers attend that function dz days is because, they pay huge amount of money for it & they wanna have a bite from their money)?
some Nigerian parents never attended their kids PTA even for once!
how many persons here were allowed their choice of career (and other decisions) by their parents?
just try to express ur dissatisfaction/anger to ur parents for not being there and u will receive beatings like da talking drum!

this entitlement mentality have gone deep into the Nigerian system.
parents feel entitled because they birthed da child and kids feel entitled to their parents wealth because they are their offsprings (without even been able to prove if they can manage and increase that wealth over time. this is one reason why african businesses don't survive after the founder's demise).

sacrifice isn't a ticket to entitlement.

hmmmm, nice one

Well mostly in the African setting or any other clime all see is poverty.Poverty make u av this entitlement mentality.
For instance,most rich parent won't wait or expect their kids to take care of them wen their old cos its even the other way round, so will u tell me the otedola's will expect a monthly allowance frm dj cuppy or his other children cos he sacrificed for them

Children should be made to do things out of duty in the beginning.As they grow up, duty should be gradually replaced by love. Love is a better teacher than obligation.  Duty is mechanical and externally motivated by a sence of obligation . Love makes it easier. Love transform responsibility to joy. A sence of  duty warmed by a love for humanity creates the best result.

I have seen a girl  reject suitor so they can take care their aging parents. While the act is commendable,It should be done out of love and not out of society expectation so she doesn’t regret it taking care of aged parent should be done from the bottom of her heart and not as a debt she owes you.  

The factory worker who constantly looks at the clock for it to be five o click to drop his tools work out of duty and not out of love .  Such a man will have lots of regret when he finally retires. Christianity is one religion built out of love rather than a sence of duty. God love the world that he gave his son……He did not owe the world. No one would punnish him for non compliance.To  be a great teacher, begin by loving children. To be a great auto-mechanic, begin by loving automobile. Parents show love to your children. Children show love to parents
https://tobechispeaks./2015/03/11/apart-from-paying-your-school-fees-and-providing-shelter-what-other-impacts-did-your-father-had-in-your-life/

tobechi74:
Children should be made to do things out of duty in the beginning.As they grow up, duty should be gradually replaced by love. Love is a better teacher than obligation.  Duty is mechanical and externally motivated by a sence of obligation . Love makes it easier. Love transform responsibility to joy. A sence of  duty warmed by a love for humanity creates the best result.

I have seen a girl  reject suitor so they can take care their aging parents. While the act is commendable,It should be done out of love and not out of society expectation so she doesn’t regret it taking care of aged parent should be done from the bottom of her heart and not as a debt she owes you.  

The factory worker who constantly looks at the clock for it to be five o click to drop his tools work out of duty and not out of love .  Such a man will have lots of regret when he finally retires. Christianity is one religion built out of love rather than a sence of duty. God love the world that he gave his son……He did not owe the world. No one would punnish him for non compliance.To  be a great teacher, begin by loving children. To be a great auto-mechanic, begin by loving automobile. Parents show love to your children. Children show love to parents
https://tobechispeaks./2015/03/11/apart-from-paying-your-school-fees-and-providing-shelter-what-other-impacts-did-your-father-had-in-your-life/

Nicely written... Many reports about children not taking care of their aged parents could have been averted with the necessary knowledge.

In conclusion then?

See better take care of your parents who sacrificed alot for you to be a responsible adult.
Don't go and borrow western culture then come here looking for who will back you up.
If you feel you can never lack anything in the evenings of your life then think again because something might just happen and all ur gathered wealth will vanish then you start looking up to your children to buy bathing soap.

Better stop that reasoning because e no make sense at all.

ihec:
See better take care of your parents who sacrificed alot for you to be a responsible adult.
Don't go and borrow western culture then come here looking for who will back you up.
If you feel you can never lack anything in the evenings of your life then think again because something might just happen and all ur gathered wealth will vanish then you start looking up to your children to buy bathing soap.

Better stop that reasoning because e no make sense at all.

Yes, I am trying with my parents. I might not be able to repay them all they have done for me, but am happy helping them out of love. I love them and I wish I can do more for them. Whether they took me far or not, am indebted to make them happy.

It’s a parent’s responsibility to take care of the children. It’s not a Favour to them or a retirement plan. While taking care of your kids, also ensure to make your own retirement plan.

That being said, any child who neglects the parents is going against the commandments of God.

UjuJoan2:
It’s a parent’s responsibility to take care of the children. It’s not a Favour to them or a retirement plan. While taking care of your kids, also ensure to make your own retirement plan.

That being said, any child who neglects the parents is going against the commandments of God[b].

Am not against your point but, please can you back it with the scripture verse that said this "going against the commandment of God"

Omokowa:


Am not against your point but, please can you back it with the scripture verse that said this "going against the commandment of God"

This is The Law "Honour thy father and thy mother..."!

Omokowa:


Yes, I am trying with my parents. I might not be able to repay them all they have done for me, but am happy helping them out of love. I love them and I wish I can do more for them. Whether they took me far or not, am indebted to make them happy.

You are indebted to make them happy you are indebted to do good to them.

This is the Law- "Owe no man nothing but Love"

Dtruthspeaker:


You are indebted to make them happy you are indebted to do good to them.

This is the Law- "Owe no man nothing but Love"

Now you are talking. I had expected you to talk about love before now. So you see, children should not be indebted to do out of love. Likewise, it is parent's responsibility to cater for the ones they brought into this world.

Children should Honour their parents too for them to live long, for this is the commandment.

You see in life, everyone have a choice to make which comes with its own consequences whether positives or negatives. In the kingdom, there are principles to wealth just as there are blessings to Honour one's parents

Today, the point is we feel indebted to do because our parents have sacrificed but neglect the fact that caring for your parents grugeginly without loves does not attract blessings. My take though.