Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,208,024 members, 8,001,130 topics. Date: Wednesday, 13 November 2024 at 01:59 AM

Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue (787 Views)

What's Your Honest Opinion About Beating Kids Like This ? / Please I Need People Advice Over This Issue / How Can I Handle This Issue With The Wife Of My Boss? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 10:56am On Dec 06, 2020
Good day Nairalanders,

I will be brief and please pardon my errors, we lost our Dad (at a ripe old age) in February this year and buried him (we hosted sympathisers the best way we could, a modest burial ceremony so to say) shortly before the pandemic, i am the only male and the second born among four females. We had a brief meeting in September and my elder sister suggested final burial should hold in February 2021, a year after my Dad's burial, they came up with 300,000 naira as contribution per head for this and i told them there and then that it was not the best financial decision to take, considering the effect of the pandemic on the economy as a whole to which some of us can attest to, i was badly affected, still on 40% of my monthly salary. Was even thinking we could all come together contribute some money, buy things and donate to charitable organisations (Churches, NGO's etc) in their memory (lost my mum 10 years ago) but going by my past experience my suggestions are most times not welcomed. For me It is not a wise decision to go borrowing because of this, they are hell bent on going ahead with their plans, one of us is even struggling to feed her family as i speak don"t know her plans though, but as for me, i intend making it a low key affair and make donations when i have the financial ability to do so. Your humble suggestions / opinions on my plan would be highly appreciated. Thank you.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by meetme01: 11:05am On Dec 06, 2020
My brother, I don't know which part of the country you come from and religion. I think, that should first be considered. Yorubas love party. They can go extra length to get to done no matter the cost implication.

I also think Igbos ensure their loved ones are buried according to tradition and proper rites are done.

Hausas and Muslims rarely go extraordinary when it comes to burial

That said, you can only advise and suggest, you cannot have a final say in this issue. You might be the only male child which in some culture is enough to make you the head but civilization and wealth has changed everything.

You can hustle and drop any substantial amount you can raise. Do not borrow for party. It's suicidal. Concerning your sis still struggling, tell her to do same and if she can't come up with anything, I believe you all understand her situation.

My submission.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 11:20am On Dec 06, 2020
meetme01:
My brother, I don't know which part of the country you come from and religion. I think, that should first be considered. Yorubas love party. They can go extra length to get to done no matter the cost implication.

I also think Igbos ensure their loved ones are buried according to tradition and proper rites are done.

Hausas and Muslims rarely go extraordinary when it comes to burial

That said, you can only advise and suggest, you cannot have a final say in this issue. You might be the only male child which in some culture is enough to make you the head but civilization and wealth has changed everything.

You can hustle and drop any substantial amount you can raise. Do not borrow for party. It's suicidal. Concerning your sis still struggling, tell her to do same and if she can't come up with anything, I believe you all understand her situation.

I am Yoruba by tribe, Bless you brother will think about it.

My submission.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 11:22am On Dec 06, 2020
meetme01:
My brother, I don't know which part of the country you come from and religion. I think, that should first be considered. Yorubas love party. They can go extra length to get to done no matter the cost implication.

I also think Igbos ensure their loved ones are buried according to tradition and proper rites are done.

Hausas and Muslims rarely go extraordinary when it comes to burial

That said, you can only advise and suggest, you cannot have a final say in this issue. You might be the only male child which in some culture is enough to make you the head but civilization and wealth has changed everything.

You can hustle and drop any substantial amount you can raise. Do not borrow for party. It's suicidal. Concerning your sis still struggling, tell her to do same and if she can't come up with anything, I believe you all understand her situation.

thanks btw i am Yoruba by tribe, i will think about it.

My submission.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 11:28am On Dec 06, 2020
meetme01:
My brother, I don't know which part of the country you come from and religion. I think, that should first be considered. Yorubas love party. They can go extra length to get to done no matter the cost implication.

I also think Igbos ensure their loved ones are buried according to tradition and proper rites are done.

Hausas and Muslims rarely go extraordinary when it comes to burial

That said, you can only advise and suggest, you cannot have a final say in this issue. You might be the only male child which in some culture is enough to make you the head but civilization and wealth has changed everything.

You can hustle and drop any substantial amount you can raise. Do not borrow for party. It's suicidal. Concerning your sis still struggling, tell her to do same and if she can't come up with anything, I believe you all understand her situation.

My submission.

Thanls, btw i am Yoruba by tribe, will think about this. Bless you.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by LordKO(m): 11:39am On Dec 06, 2020
The timeless secret of peace of mind is living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously. Of course, with peace of mind comes prosperity in all forms when backed with other catalysts.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Modupetemmy1(f): 12:32pm On Dec 06, 2020
I'll suggest you cut your coat according to the yards of materials you have and not according to your size i.e do only what you van afford, pls don't borrow.
should you fall into financial crisis can your sis rally round and raise 300k for you individually

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Exmilitant(m): 1:40pm On Dec 06, 2020
LordKO:
The timeless secret of peace of mind is living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously. Of course, with peace of mind comes prosperity in all forms when backed with other catalysts.
In simple terms if it pleases your majesty undecided

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by LadySarah: 1:55pm On Dec 06, 2020
Finally we are the ones complicating this lifeoo.
First burial. A year later, final burial.

In his memorial, you can do a Thanksgiving in church or visit an Orphanage or babies home. If your elder sister has do much, let her help your younger Sister.

The dead is deadoo
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Richy4(m): 2:33pm On Dec 06, 2020
Humans can really complicate/ compound issues for themselves... You guys have already buried your dad. what's this unnecessary money you want to spend? who are you guys trying to impress? was it your dad? sorry to say this but he can't see again based on what you guys were doing... was it your friend? or were you guys trying to show off to your immediate extended family that you guys have arrived?... they can see through your pockets already... why not save the money for rainy days...

Tell your siblings that the second burial cannot necessarily be in 2021... there's no time you call people to come and eat that they won't come... this second burial can even be in 4,5 or 6 years time... When you are buoyant, call people.. they will surly come. For now, u don't have... Tell them that you don't have.. but if they want to continue, they can go ahead you will give them moral support..... that you will still remember your dad in 5,6 or 10 years time.. you will kill cows and invite people on your own.. but for now they should excuse you. angry..

4 Likes

Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by lilyheaven: 2:58pm On Dec 06, 2020
Richy4:
Humans can really complicate/ compound issues for themselves... You guys have already buried your dad. what's this unnecessary money you want to spend? who are you guys trying to impress? was it your dad? sorry to say this but he can't see again based on what you guys were doing... was it your friend? or were you guys trying to show off to your immediate extended family that you guys have arrived?... they can see through your pockets already... why not save the money for rainy days...

Tell your siblings that the second burial cannot necessarily be in 2021... there's no time you call people to come and eat that they won't come... this second burial can even be in 4,5 or 6 years time... When you are buoyant, call people.. they will surly come. For now, u don't have... Tell them that you don't have.. but if they want to continue, they can go ahead you will give them moral support..... that you will still remember your dad in 5,6 or 10 years time.. you will kill cows and invite people on your own.. but for now they should excuse you. angry..
You have finished the talk
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Karleb(m): 4:16pm On Dec 06, 2020
Richy4:
Humans can really complicate/ compound issues for themselves... You guys have already buried your dad. what's this unnecessary money you want to spend? who are you guys trying to impress? was it your dad? sorry to say this but he can't see again based on what you guys were doing... was it your friend? or were you guys trying to show off to your immediate extended family that you guys have arrived?... they can see through your pockets already... why not save the money for rainy days...

Tell your siblings that the second burial cannot necessarily be in 2021... there's no time you call people to come and eat that they won't come... this second burial can even be in 4,5 or 6 years time... When you are buoyant, call people.. they will surly come. For now, u don't have... Tell them that you don't have.. but if they want to continue, they can go ahead you will give them moral support..... that you will still remember your dad in 5,6 or 10 years time.. you will kill cows and invite people on your own.. but for now they should excuse you. angry..

Let me just give you a mention since you have already commented my comment.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 5:06pm On Dec 06, 2020
undecided
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Teleprompter(f): 7:01pm On Dec 06, 2020
Some people like to have big parties thinking that they would recoup more no at than was spent. Your sister is ma aging to feed her family so then, how does she plan to finance the burial?
Maybe she has rich in-laws and thinks this is an opportunity to tax then.

This is not the time to go beyond one's means. Recession is here already. Worse than Inflation

Don't mind your sister's.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 8:20pm On Dec 06, 2020
Thank you all for your submissions, i really do appreciate. May God grant us the wisdom to do the right thing at the right time and when it matters the most. My parents, God bless their soul thought us to live our lives not to impress others, anything we have done in the past, i have always contributed my own quota, this is the first time we are having disagreement on such, a lot of underlying issues i wouldn't want to bore you with. I have school fees to pay in January amidst other bills, if i have 300,000 naira now, i will prefer to invest in a meaningful project, only God is my witness that i do not have.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by NoToPile: 8:30pm On Dec 06, 2020
sunnymighty:


Thanls, btw i am Yoruba by tribe, will think about this. Bless you.

I knew its my people immediately I saw final burial even before getting to this your post.

Whatever you do don't go borrowing and don't spend what will (or might attempt to) make you broke after the burial.

That's my principle for dealing with 'my people' in issues like this. Or you can go gangster on them let them do the spending and you show up as a guest na talk dem go talk, you bone your face.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by sunnymighty(m): 8:55pm On Dec 06, 2020
Note that the 300,000 naira does not cover the clothes we are putting on, that day, 45,000 naira for ladies and 10, 000 naira for men (Including my brother in laws) minus what the children are going to put on. Ankara for Aso-ebi is seperate.
Re: Please I Need Your Honest Opinion On This Issue by Richy4(m): 10:50am On Dec 07, 2020
Karleb:


Let me just give you a mention since you have already commented my comment.

smiley

(1) (Reply)

What Will You Do If You Catch Your Wife In Bed With Another Man! / Why Are Most Nigerian Relatives Living Abroad Stingy? / How I Was Maltreated And Deprived Of My Fatherly Love And Care By My Step Mother

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 45
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.