Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Mynd44: 12:11pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Governor Ortom approached a sensitive issue like intimate partner violence with a demeanour of normalization.
On Saturday, December 5, 2020, Ifeanyinwa Angbo, a Medical Doctor and wife of Channels TV reporter, Pius Angbo took to Twitter to narrate her ordeal via a now viral video. Her husband of six years, with whom she has four kids had consistently assaulted her.
She said, “Hello people, my name is Ifeanyi Angbo. I’m a doctor and I’ve been married to Pius Angbo of Channels Television for six years. And for six years, I’ve not known peace. It’s been from one girl to a different one. I simply had a child from a caesarean part nearly 4 weeks in the past.
“I advise him to spend wisely and not spend on women so recklessly since we have four children and they have to be trained. I’m calling him out. He works with Channels TV. He is from Benue State.
“I thought I got married to a fellow human being. Though I saw a paper where he wrote a prayer request… Even before getting married, I stumbled on the paper where he wrote that “thank God for saving him from hatred and abuse of women.” Obviously, he’s still on.”
Mrs. Angbo went ahead to narrate an episode of where her husband sat on her pregnant stomach and beat her.
After the video went viral on social media, Channels Television responded on Twitter that, “Channels Television does not condone violence against women or anyone in general. The domestic violence matter reported against one of our reporters is being investigated and appropriate action will be taken.”
The aftermath On Monday, December 7, news broke that Benue State Governor, Samuel Ortom had invited the couple for a tete-a-tete, during which he supposedly ‘settled’ a case of domestic violence.
Apparently, he feels saving a marriage is more important than the life of a Medical Doctor with four children in a country that constantly experiences brain drain in its medical sector. He also seemed to assume that a promise of ‘I’ll never beat my wife again’ is sufficient to prevent further abuse from Angbo.
Ortom said, “We have resolved all issues. This family is barely six years with four kids. Angbo himself has distinguished himself in journalism and the wife is a medical doctor with Benue State government at the teaching hospital. We felt for a young couple of six years, they must be encouraged instead of trying to separate them.
“Some of us are not also innocent. As young couple, we underwent some of these challenges in our marriage life and that is why when I had the unfortunate incident, I have to call the two of them with some of my cabinet members to assist me so that we can mediate and thank God we have done the mediation as older personalities who are more experienced in marriage like myself.
"I’m over 40 years of marriage life so I have the capacity and I have children, I have grandchildren. I would like these younger ones too to grow. As far as I am concerned, I will not live forever and it is important to mentor younger people to also grow. The work I am doing today as a father, tomorrow they will follow my footsteps to do for other younger generation.”
Ortom: The Nigerian parent syndrome Governor Ortom suffers from the ‘Nigerian parent syndrome.’
Nigerian parents would happily watch their daughters trapped in a worthless, loveless marriage instead of encouraging a divorce. Society is hard enough for women and for years, a lot of women have bought into the idea of staying in abusive marriages.
What Governor Ortom has successfully sent out is a tacit message to abusive men that it’s okay to abuse your partner, if you can apologize before an ‘older Nigerian’ after the fact. Governor Ortom is not only ignorant, he is insensitive. He is a dire representation of the patriarchal decay in the Nigerian society.
He is a microcosm of the chasm in the Nigerian thought pattern that relates to the predicament of women. It also looks like Governor Ortom is more concerned with preserving the interests of a journalist than protect a woman.
The problem While Natural Law principles might obtain in other areas of the law as regards offences, the John Austin-led principle of Positivism must always obtain in cases of domestic violence. Anybody who is ‘man enough’ to abuse his partner must be man enough to take the punishment attached to it.
No abuser of women should ever be freed after consistent or even simple instances of domestic violence because abuse is habitual for abusive men. Science has proven that abusive men are built that way either unresolved issues as regards women or because they feel a need to overcompensate for their masculinity.
As revealed by his wife, Angbo previously confessed to hating and abusing women, yet he is still here. There is an established pattern to his behaviour. If a man can beat a new mother who gave birth via caesarean section to that extent, then he should be jailed.
Some instances of science have also linked instances of consistent domestic violence to subtle hints of mental illness because the average human being isn’t naturally disposed to dishing out deadly blows on women.
Let’s forget science for a minute, abuse of women is intrinsically linked to age-old principles of patriarchy that see women as subservient to men.
For years, this idea has put women in severely disadvantaged positions. The fact is, people like Angbo don’t stop their cases of consistent abuse because they say they will. Abuse is part of them and it’s how they exert their masculinity. What Governor Ortom has done is potentially put a woman back into a marriage that could kill her.
He has also guilt-tripped and virtue-signaled Mrs. Ortom back into the trappings of a marriage that could end at the cost of her life. It’s also quite amazing that Ortom said, “...Some of us are not also innocent. As young couple, we underwent some of these challenges in our marriage life…”
It looks like Governor Ortom thinks that abuse is something people outgrow.
On popular forum, Quora, Kate Bekei responded to a question as regards domestic abuse in 2018 thus: "Having been married to an abuser, I can tell you that their actions are deliberate and thought out, and that they will never change, ever."
In 2018, BMC Women’s Health reported that, “Previous studies from Nigeria have shown the prevalence of intimate partner violence range from 31 to 61% for psychological/emotional violence, 20 to 31% for sexual violence, and 7 to 31% for physical violence.”
Intimate partner violence is not something to be chalked up to youthful exuberance. It is willful violence on a fellow human being of another gender, who is not as physically strong. Governor Ortom approached a sensitive issue like intimate partner violence with a demeanour of normalization.
Everyday, Nigerian families sit down on stools of elderliness while drinking non-premium liquor and eating kolanut to settle instances of domestic violence.
Still, Nigerian women die at the hands of abusive partners and husbands everyday. You only have to visit the Metro news sections on Pulse Nigeria and Punch Nigeria to see that.
When women are not dead, they go through life with the subconscious effects of decades of psychological and physical abuse from their so-called partners and even random men on the street.
The effect of this is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes women normalize the abuse and pass it down to younger women, creating a cycle of generational problems.
An April 2018 research paper by Ruth Abiola Adimula and Ignatius Nnamdi Ijere projects that, “Women in a patriarchal society like Nigeria, are treated with gender subordination which subjects them to experiencing indelible traumas. Trauma, however, is today regarded as one of the leading causes of death.
“As such, its theorist put to light its various sources as: intimate partner violence, natural disasters, loss of loved one, sexual assault or any physical or mental wound, rape, female genital mutilation and witness of violence.
“All in all, women in Nigeria are exposed to the risk of getting traumatized through situations like; domestic violence, limited social or religious sanctions, lack of social support and most importantly, cultural norms.”
In a research article on patterns of stress, social support and mental health among Nigerian women, David A. Oluwole venerated on the issue of trauma faced by Nigerian women as, "The effort to have and maintain a balanced mental health by the Nigerian women is thwarted by the presence of stress resulting from traumatic and rapid changes of life events.”
You cannot gloss over domestic violence and you simply can’t guilt-trip a woman into staying in an abusive environment. Governor Ortom used marriage as a reason to pressure a woman into staying in an abusive relationship. If she dies, her blood is on his hands.
In that Quora response, Kate Bekei also wrote that, "To believe that [an abuser] will [change], will only set you up to be their physical and emotional punching bag for life, and you will lose any semblance of self esteem, confidence, joy and happiness from your life."
Some people might argue that the woman is an adult who can make her own decisions, but women have been adults for years. When you have been trained to protect your children with marriage, it’s very hard to detach from that mindset. Society also shames women divorcees with terribly coined cultural tags.
Society should encourage women to leave abusive relationships, not stay in them on any ground. What Pius Angbo needs is help and punishment, not the comfort of marriage to an innocent woman as his punching bag.
*Pulse Editor's Opinion is the viewpoint of an Editor at Pulse. It does not represent the opinion of the Organisation Pulse https://www.pulse.ng/news/local/governor-ortom-and-his-shameful-normalization-of-domestic-violence-pulse-editors/qrmdj0d 11 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by AFvckingAlpha(m): 12:23pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
The fvck
Niggarr!!
100% CAP
OP be tripping mehn! You think man is fundamentally just at your own peril. Everybody just be looking out for themselves.
Ortom did what he did, he did the right thing.
I'm no fan of a wife-beater, hell ya I think gender-based violence is something we gotta uproot as it is getting way outta hand.
But man aint just.
I said what I said. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Kutuumba: 12:23pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Interesting |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Kriss216: 12:23pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
I still don’t know why Nairaland ladies are crying more than Mrs Ifeanyinwa Angbo,
There’s no perfect marriage, that’s my own. 42 Likes 2 Shares |
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by osuofia2(m): 12:23pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Would people rather prefer the collapse of the marriage? human are naturally insatiable especially Nigerians. To the best of my knowledge Governor Orthom has played his part by intervening in the crisis. God is a against divorce. Matthew 19:6. ''Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Nobody: 12:24pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Would Gov Ortom reconcile his daughter with a wife beating husband? I doubt. The way we romanticise evil. We forgive polithiefcians, silence rape victims and victims of domestic violence. We respect and defend sexual predators in our religious institutions... The list is endless. The Nigerian society is a dysfunctional one. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) 29 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by evansjeff(m): 12:24pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by HerMajestyCares(f): 12:25pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
THe So Called journalist is HEARTLESS,
He SATS ON THE PREGNANT WIFE AND BEATS HER,
I shouted and my heart Skipped when I read the part the she said ,
THE WICKED MAN SAT ON HER STOMACH AFTER UNDERGOING OPERATION he did not care if the stomach opens or if the woman dies,
SOME PEOPLE ARE DEVIL.
As for the governor, I Don't think He Asked the woman her own side of the story before resolving the issue.
I like it when issues are resolved within couples but not the one with serious beating and everyday violence. Even After resolving the issue I pity the woman to live under the same roof with the man, I hope we don't hear a twist of stories in years to come. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by ichidodo: 12:25pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Stupid dumb feminist writer... 22 Likes |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by emperorshaokahn(m): 12:25pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
he did the right thing.feminist can drink snipper for all i care. 22 Likes |
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Homextras: 12:25pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Sad endorsement |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by islamicpenis: 12:26pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
As a born again alhaji , pastor and practicing imam of 30 years all I can say is that ortom did well by settling the marriage violence in a chrislamic way 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by nauto: 12:26pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
He did well. 3 Likes |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by inoki247: 12:26pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
I know say them go soon come for iz head 1 Like |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by GeneralPula: 12:26pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Some misguided folks & feminist are not happy with the fact that they settled it.. 27 Likes |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by MRosario(m): 12:27pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
. |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by AssoJnr: 12:27pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
The wife has chosen to forgive her husband and move forward, not like she was under duress by the governor or sort. Why are you pained? 25 Likes |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Dpharisee: 12:27pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
I thought we have moved on from this husband and wife fight. How can this opening of wounds lead to reconciliation, Ortom did what an elder is supposed to do, he even got the man to apologize publicly to his wife and we are yet to hear about any repeat of the incident.
Can we allow the couple to heal instead of all these holier than thou writeups.
If Ortom had advised the woman to leave her marriage this same writer would have called him Home Breaker. 11 Likes |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Jammy2012(m): 12:27pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Weyrey dey disguise... Maybe the man too is fond of beating his wife. How on earth will a sane man sit on a pregnant woman and still administer punches. Sometimes, our search for wealth and independence has made us neglect what it feels like to be good. We think money makes our characters beautiful... Though even a man that knows himself, and is sure of his behaviour. Can surprise himself of what he can do. Do introspections. drop the habit of "this is the way i am wired". You are capable of rewiring. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by ATEAMS: 12:28pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Nawao |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by RealDesign30(m): 12:29pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Nawa o |
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Enudapan: 12:30pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Nah eh! No qualms This is so unsophisticated |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Omezif(m): 12:30pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Supporting a demostic violence is terrible. By the way, It's only inmature in brain man or woman could cause violence in their home. A sensible husband and wife who understand themselves hardle fight. 1 Like |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by MrStylish(m): 12:30pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Aabboobbii I just hate politics Everything is a joke with them politician |
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Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by Yemighty2(m): 12:33pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Nawa oooooo
Earn 50% of your money every 6days check my signature for more info |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by OBTMOS(m): 12:33pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Ortom don suffer |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by money121(m): 12:34pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
Ok |
Re: Governor Ortom And His Shameful Normalization Of Domestic Violence by emmyN(m): 12:34pm On Dec 11, 2020 |
I didn't read ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) 1 Like |