Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,193,417 members, 7,950,905 topics. Date: Tuesday, 17 September 2024 at 05:37 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ (1149 Views)
When You Told Her U Are Related To Dangote's Family (pics) / Chinese and Asian Jokes / Nigerian Jokes (2) (3) (4)
~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:17am On Mar 27, 2011 |
HIYA MATES! El ur Joke Sec mate is a sport inclined fanatic football to be precise, so just like i normally put on the humor part of me in the dailies, i would love to see us do the sporting jokes here and i promise it ought to be fun supposing we stick to these 3 rules : - Post only sport related jokes - Dont derail or throw insults at mates - Never quit posting the jokes! Lets get the train moving |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:22am On Mar 27, 2011 |
Heaven Vs Hell The Devil was constantly challenging St Peter to a game of soccer, but St Peter refused, until one day while walking around' heaven he discovered that quite a number of international footballers had entered the 'pearly gates'. "I think I'll arrange to play that soccer game," said St Peter to the Devil. "We have a great number of international soccer stars in heaven at the moment from which to select a winning team." "You'll lose, you'll lose!" taunted the Devil. "What makes you so sure we'll lose?" enquired St Peter. "Because," laughed the Devil, "we have all the referees down here." |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by yinkalink(f): 8:27am On Mar 27, 2011 |
Gud one. Al post mine soon. |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:31am On Mar 27, 2011 |
The Brave Act A man arrives at the gates of heaven, where St Peter greets him and says, "Before I can let you enter I must ask you what you have done in your life that was particularly good." The man racks his brains for a few minutes and then admits to St Peter that he hasn't done anything particularly good in his life. "Well," says St Peter, "have you done anything particularly brave in your life?" "Yes, I have," replies the man proudly. St Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. So the man explains, "I was refereeing this important match between Liverpool and Everton at Anfield. The score was nil- nil and there was only one more minute of play to go in the second half when I awarded a penalty against Liverpool at the Cop end." "Yes," responded St Peter, "I agree that was a real act of bravery. Can you perhaps tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replied, "about three minutes ago. |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:56am On Mar 27, 2011 |
The Inter-faith Match A group of Catholic priests were due to play a group of rabbis in an important inter-faith game. A few days before the match, disaster struck. The Catholic team's star player broke his ankle and the doctor said he wouldn't be able to play again for at least two months. "What are we going to do? moaned Father Durnford. "Well," said Father Thomas, "it so happens that Wayne Rooney is a good friend of mine. We could ask him to play for us." "But that wouldn't be ethical, now would it?" said Father Durnford. "No, but if we called him Father Rooney, no one need know," replied Father Thomas. Eventually Father Durnford agreed to let this devious plan go ahead but then, as luck would have it, he was suddenly called away on official Church business and was unable to watch the match. As soon as he could, he phoned Father Thomas for the result. "I'm afraid they beat us, five-one," said Father Thomas. "But how could that happen?" queried Father Durnford. "We had Father Rooney in our team." "Yes," said Father Thomas, "but they had Rabbi Messi and Rabbi C Ronaldo playing for them." |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 1:26pm On Mar 27, 2011 |
A man went off to a football match one Saturday afternoon, and while he was away his wife was 'visited by a 'friend' who just happened to be jogging past her house and was dressed in shorts and singlet. The wife was happily entertaining him on the sofa when suddenly they heard her husband coming through the front door. Quick as a flash, the visitor hid behind the large television set in the corner. The husband came in and said,'It's started to pour with rain so I thought I'd come home and watch the second half on telly.' He switched on the television and settled down to watch the game. After about twenty minutes the wife's visitor started to get severe cramp so, casting caution to the winds, he calmly got up from behind the set and walked out of the room. The husband turned to his wife and said, 'That's funny - I didn't see the ref send him off.' |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by EfemenaXY: 3:34pm On Mar 27, 2011 |
Oga make you try slow down 1st now I never read 'em finish and you just dey post one after another after another after another. . . |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 12:38pm On Mar 28, 2011 |
Erh. . .madame, does it mean u cant really copy and paste something here?? Abeg do what u're good at naa, what u tot moi! I will be glad to see them flow, Nwanyi Oma |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by dani1luv: 3:49pm On Mar 28, 2011 |
You TRY!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 11:56am On Mar 29, 2011 |
Ten mile run The local football team were having a dreadful season. They hadn't won a game for 12 weeks and the manager was at the end of his tether. "Look," suggested a friend one evening, "why don't you take the whole squad out for a ten mile run every day?" "What good will that do?" moaned the manager. "Well," replied his friend, "today's Sunday. By next Saturday they'll be 60 miles away and you won't have to worry about them." |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 1:11pm On Mar 29, 2011 |
Revenge Is Sweet After considerable effort and expense a First Division manager succeeded in obtaining' the services of Miodrag Krivokapic and Mixu Paatelainen of Dundee, Dariusz Wdowczwk of Celtic, Detzi Kruszynski of Wimbledon, and Steve Ogrizovic of Coventry. 'Are these boys any good?' asked a colleague. 'I couldn't care less,' said the manager. 'I just want to get my own back on some of these smart-alec TV sports commentators!' |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by jackpot(f): 5:41pm On Mar 29, 2011 |
El, now that's what i'm talkin about. Keep them flowin. . |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by shakara4u(m): 6:24pm On Mar 29, 2011 |
;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Osocan(m): 6:32am On Mar 30, 2011 |
El Guapo:No be small matter)))lol. |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 7:29am On Mar 30, 2011 |
A football player had dislocated his shoulder in a nasty challenge, and was still screaming in agony when they got him to hospital. "For Heaven's sake," said the doctor, "don't be such a baby, you're supposed to be a big, tough defender. There's a woman having a baby next door and she's not making anything like the noise that you are." "That's as may be," wailed the footballer, "but, in her case, nobody's trying to push anything back in." |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 5:57pm On Mar 30, 2011 |
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahazh |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:03am On Mar 31, 2011 |
A goalkeeper had had a particularly bad season and announced that he was retiring from professional football. In a television interview he was asked his reasons for quitting the game. 'Well, basically,' he said, 'it's a question of illness and fatigue.' 'Can you be more specific?' asked the interviewer. 'Well,' said the player, 'specifically the fans are sick and tired of me.' |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 8:09am On Mar 31, 2011 |
It was the last game of the season. Mathieson had been with he team from the start but he was such a slow and clumsy player that never once had he actually been allowed to play, but had spent all his time on the substitute bench. At this last match, however, there were so many fouls and injuries that every substitute but him had been sent on. With ten minutes to go, yet another player was carried off the field and the coach looked at the substitute bench, his eye finally alighting on Mathieson. Mathieson's face lit up. 'Are you going to send me on, coach?' he asked eagerly. 'No!' snapped the coach. 'Just get out of the way. I'm going to send in the bench!' |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by EfemenaXY: 12:37am On Apr 03, 2011 |
El Guapo: me? tish you sumtin? liar!! abeg free ma skirt jor! [/quote]I will be glad to see them flow, Nwanyi Oma [quote] back to sender jor! |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by Nobody: 1:10am On Apr 03, 2011 |
U don dey play hard to get now Wait til i get into ma Space launcher, u'ld surely be caught up with |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by EfemenaXY: 5:03pm On Apr 10, 2011 |
Lol!! |
Re: ~ Sport Related Jokes Here ~ by StudioCFR(m): 10:29pm On Apr 11, 2011 |
what is this? Mtchew thank u for wasting my time poster. Mtchew |
(1) (Reply)
Dont Disgrace Your Family! / Mimicking Bin / If Adam And Eve Didn't Disobey
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 32 |