Ujujoan:

Please . . . .  I see a lot of baby momma dramas around me here in Nigeria. I can't even begin to count!

I'm glad you brought 'responsibility' up . . . . . .  Responsibility is NOT sacrifice!

Can you hazard a gues why despite the whole marriage alimony and divorce settlement, oyinbo men still prefer to walk out on their wives as compared to here where a man can marry as many wives as he pleases but yet remains to that one woman?

I'm not a rocket scientist but I can say that men, being the selfish animals they are, will always choose what's best for them!

Selfish?
Who eats the best meats in the kitchen before serving the tired men chaff = women.
Who wants you to take them shopping for expensive outfit and jewelery till you die broke = women.
Who tries to pamper the kid still the poor little things start to detest their dads = women.
Who wants you to take them on foreign trips so they can solidify their papers =women.
What other definition of selfish do you want?

Ujujoan:

Please . . . .  I see a lot of baby momma dramas around me here in Nigeria. I can't even begin to count!

I'm glad you brought 'responsibility' up . . . . . .  Responsibility is NOT sacrifice!

Can you hazard a gues why despite the whole marriage alimony and divorce settlement, oyinbo men still prefer to walk out on their wives as compared to here where a man can marry as many wives as he pleases but yet remains to that one woman?

I'm not a rocket scientist but I can say that men, being the selfish animals they are, will always choose what's best for them!

Selfish?
Who eats the best meats in the kitchen before serving the tired men chaff = women.
Who wants you to take them shopping for expensive outfit and jewelery till you die broke = women.
Who tries to pamper the kid still the poor little things start to detest their dads = women.
Who wants you to take them on foreign trips so they can solidify their papers =women.
What other definition of selfish do you want?

Responsibility is a sacrifice one makes for his own good. In marriage its a different ball game entirely. the sacrifice is for someone else's benefit. One would expect you guys to know the difference.

besides the last time I checked nobody is forcing anyone into anything

Ujujoan:

I'm glad you brought 'responsibility' up . . . . . . Responsibility is NOT sacrifice!

Ujujoan:

Responsibility is a sacrifice one makes for his own good.

Do you see the contradictions?

Ujujoan:

Responsibility is a sacrifice one makes for his own good. In marriage its a different ball game entirely. the sacrifice is for someone else's benefit. One would expect you guys to know the difference.

besides the last time I checked nobody is forcing anyone into anything

Ujujoan:

Responsibility is a sacrifice one makes for his own good. In marriage its a different ball game entirely. the sacrifice is for someone else's benefit. One would expect you guys to know the difference.

besides the last time I checked nobody is forcing anyone into anything

There you go again, the ladies actually force their ways into mens lives by playing seductive games and exposing so much bare flesh that the helpless men take notice and walk into traps!
Men need riot for a bill supporting banning of marriage. Except the lady will be submissive.

Obviously Dayo, I must have taken for granted the assumption that you can reason contextually. We are talking about sacrifice in a marriage afteral. One would thought you would at least put that into consideration. `one' is sooooo wrong!

dayokanu:

Of course who wont rather part with money than continue to live in Hell? Lemme ask you if they ask you to live with a horrible girlfriend or pay for the person to get an apartment of her own and out of your life what would you do?

This was a question you sidestepped rather prefer to do this

Ujujoan:

Obviously Dayo, I must have taken for granted the assumption that you can reason contextually. We are talking about sacrifice in a marriage afteral. One would thought you would at least put that into consideration. `one' is sooooo wrong!

Is that not typical?

dayo don't twist it ooo, i'm watching you fa

OP, they both do but i think women sacrifice more.

Even if I wasn't typing from my fone which make it very difficult to respond, I would still ignore irrelevant questions. Are we talking about troublesome gfs here or a mans family? would you treat a troublesome gf the same way you'll treat your wife and the mother of ur kids.

You wondered why oyinbo men abandon their wives and our husbands stay with us, I told u dat men will always choose wats best for dem and you are talking about troublesome gfs. Mcheeeew.

without a doubt - women

It is a no brainer-Mother,Women,Wife! If you found good one nah heaven soshe

Ujujoan:

Even if I wasn't typing from my fone which make it very difficult to respond, I would still ignore irrelevant questions. Are we talking about troublesome gfs here or a mans family? would you treat a troublesome gf the same way you'll treat your wife and the mother of your kids.

You wondered why oyinbo men abandon their wives and our husbands stay with us, I told u dat men will always choose wats best for dem and you are talking about troublesome gfs. Mcheeeew.

aha!!! they just want the ''clap for us for staying for 20years''
God bless you African woman, who pass you? Nobody

Thanks oyb. it takes a real man to acknowledge his weakness. Take note Daya . . . (and dat mad man Harakiri).

Ujujoan:

Even if I wasn't typing from my fone which make it very difficult to respond, I would still ignore irrelevant questions. Are we talking about troublesome gfs here or a mans family? would you treat a troublesome gf the same way you'll treat your wife and the mother of your kids.

You wondered why oyinbo men abandon their wives and our husbands stay with us, I told u dat men will always choose wats best for dem and you are talking about troublesome gfs. Mcheeeew.

Point is Any human would rather part with some money than stay with a troublesome person whether family, spouse or friend

Naija men still stand by in this unsavoury relationship as a sacrifice to the family and  children to give them a home and rounded development even when its easier to just hop out of the home and move on like men of other cultures do

DK, i thot the question is who sacrifices more? Clearly both parties make sacrifices but women generally make more in a marriage.

dayokanu:

Point is Any human would rather part with some money than stay with a troublesome person whether family, spouse or friend

Naija men still stand by in this unsavoury relationship as a sacrifice to the family and  children to give them a home and rounded development even when its easier to just hop out of the home and move on like men of other cultures do

Since when? They stay because it's in their interest to do so abeg.

naijababe:

DK, i thot the question is who sacrifices more? Clearly both parties make sacrifices but women generally make more in a marriage.

Obciously the man sacrifices more. What does a woman sacrifice BTW?

naijababe:

Since when? They stay because it's in their interest to do so abeg.

And what interest would this be that the naija men derive and foreigners that walk away dont?

armyofone:

dayo don't twist it ooo, i'm watching you fa

OP, they both do but i think women sacrifice more.

Are you still watching me? Ki zo ki rungomeni mana

Ujujoan:

Thanks oyb. it takes a real man to acknowledge his weakness. Take note Daya . . . (and dat mad man Harakiri).

Yh rite!!! but does it take a real woman to acknoledge theirs, women would never agree they are wrong they would always want to win an arguement

The woman, clearly. God bless them. Men have their own role of course. And also do sacrifice nearly as much as women.

50/50. There should have been a "Both" option.

Dirac:

Yh rite!!! but does it take a real woman to acknoledge theirs, women would never agree they are wrong they would always want to win an arguement

Are you surprised in anyway? Either brandish the "Real man" tag or simply cuss you out when they are asked to make their points

Check any thread, and lets know the first to either play the Realman/real woman card, Start referring to fathers/mothers or simply just abuse you

dayokanu:

Obciously the man sacrifices more. What does a woman sacrifice BTW?


And what interest would this be that the naija men derive and foreigners that walk away dont?

While I conceed that this is not true in all relationships, i don't know many men that will tolerate emotional, mental and even physical abuse but alot of women do to keep the family unit together, most men will just abandon the mother ship and go set up a new nest.

Even in Western nations, a lot of women give up successful careers once they start a family (that's a lot to give up) and if that's not sacrifice, i dont know what is?

As i said i before, i don't believe that men do not sacrifice anything, women just generally sacrifice more IMO

Dayo if I 'cuss' you eh, your body go tell you na. I'm just being my usual blunt wself!

Nigerian men don't "sacrifice" by sticking by their family instead of walking out when the woman frustrates and disrespects them.

For a Nigerian father, it's really all about their kids, which they are obligated to provide for and help raise if they want to be able to show their face around their relatives, friends, etc,  This is just something that's understood in most Nigerian cultures without it needing to be said. A Nigerian man sticking by his family has nothing to do with the woman. If there is no child in the relationship, the marriage will dissolve immediately after serious arguments/conflicts. I've seen it happen with Nigerians here in America and have no doubt the same obtains back in Nigeria.


@ some posters in this thread, if you actually think any man has anything to gain from marriage other than steady sex and/or offspring, you are either utterly clueless about men or a delusional romantic.




However, women (usually) sacrifice more by stunting their careers for marriage, in my opinion.

M.O.T.H.E.R IYA NI WURA PROUD TO BE ONE.

PhysicsMHD:


However, women (usually) sacrifice more by stunting their careers for marriage, in my opinion.

I dont call that a sacrifice, because getting married is most ladies desire, very few would consider a career instead of marriage. Ask most girls what their goals are, it's usually having a rich dude to come marry them off

Sacrifice is doing something with little benefit to yourself

Dirac:

I dont call that a sacrifice, because getting married is most ladies desire, very few would consider a career instead of marriage. Ask most girls what their goals are, it's usually having a rich dude to come marry them off

See, it's this kinda thinking that attracts only shallow and empty headed women to some men

PhysicsMHD:





However, women (usually) sacrifice more by stunting their careers for marriage, in my opinion.

This is the part that always baffles me. How many women would choose their careers over raising THEIR OWN KIDS? This kind of talk would be strange to mothers decades ago but today (no thanks to feminism), a woman believes she is entitled to certain privileges because she gave birth TO HER OWN KIDS! Sometimes i wonder if people listen to themselves when they utter this kind of statements.

Marriage is all about the interest of WOMEN! A man has little or NOTHING to gain from marriage. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING marriage "offers" a man that he can't get WITHOUT the marriage. Who craves for commitment during a relationship? Women! Who pushes for marriage? Women! Who wants to have the big white wedding? Women! Who wants to have kids asap? Women! And yet after the man has succumbed to all this manipulation, he's still expected to be "grateful" to his woman for bearing HER OWN KIDS! Una dey listen to una selfs sometimes?

Theblessed:

[size=16pt]But hey, you Ms Questioner - from which planet are you coming from when you go about asking this kind of question.  Do you need a microscope to find out which of the parents would go out of their ways for their children?  THE NAME IS MOTHER - glad Mothers Day is upon us once again, to remind you of the answer that - mum is the word!

Dads are ok, but they are more selfish with their own needs (e.g Business dealings, alcohol, chasing other women etc) to nurturing and make such sacrifices for their children. Go ask people all over the world and see what they'd tell you.

You, yourself knows the answer so, don't ask! [/size]

Like you said, men are so "selfish" with their own needs that they spend all their time in BUSINESS DEALINGS (that put bread on the table,educated you,put clothes on your back and a roof over your head. . .ingrate ), ALCOHOL (the only consolation he has after a hard week's work but you would prefer he dies of stroke and worries than allow him a few hours to cool off) and CHASING OTHER WOMEN (when his wife has deprived him of sex so much that cobwebs are growing beneath his testicles).

Women are so so so shallow minded that it makes me wonder if the "evolution machine" developed faults when creating females! ! !