Iamafinegirl:

I kept saying no....
But he didn’t give up
Met his boss to talk to me
My friends etc
He was kind of my friend too at the same time just that we weren’t dating and he used to b there for me
He wld help me go buy fuel in my gen in my house
Readily buy me pizza 10pm at night if I said I felt like eating pizza
Go to market together
Sometimes I cook n he eat etc like Dt
He was wooing me then anyways... so those things weren’t a problem then apparently

In the long run, Nice Guys are not really nice at all.

He was the typical nice guy, Simping for you and when you finally accepted him after 1 and half years (WTF!!!) he's ended up showing his real self and discarding his toga of niceness.

Komu1048:
Sister stop deceiving yourself, you guys are not lovers but you are squatting with him. When you squat with someone you guys won’t fuxk, u won’t pay house rent but others responsibility will be shared equally. Let him have a taste of you n and I will bet he will start taking care of you the way he is suppose to

Sex doesn’t change a person. It won’t change me neither would it change him

i926:


Do you even know the kind of struggle he is facing while trying to cope with whatever bullsh!t, she ain't telling us here?

hmmm, Anyway, We Av Not Heard His Side Of His Story 4 Us To Know Who Is At Fault.

Komu1048:



Babies always quick to insult

Sorry, Sir, if you felt insulted

Where, pray tell, may I tender my apologies?

Priam:


In the long run, Nice Guys are not really nice at all.

He was the typical nice guy, Simping for you and when you finally accepted him after 1 and half years (WTF!!!) he's ended up showing his real self and discarding his toga of niceness.

To think he told me he wld offer me perfect love,
Love unconditional....he always used the word “purest form of love”.
Wat I would be loosing if I didn’t accept him and hid proposal...how women fail to accept good men as blessing from God and don’t get to see it and later go to marry someone evil....how he would take so good care of me.
Men and speech ehn...
Oh boy if I remember the sweet talk, I dey weak.
Men r scam

Babe abeg u don overtry,dere r relationship were d gal does not contribute a dime but everywhere will be so sweet.He does not luv u

Iamafinegirl:


The house I was staying is kukuma still there.
Nobody pursue me
I still have the key to the house and visit it from time to time.
I don’t evn have issues helping out and I do. I can split a rent or even pay the whole rent because I understand my hubby is completely spent our on school fees or something else. He shouldn’t borrow. but wen little items start getting counted, like dstv, Apple etc (things u wld do with or without me) or it becomes a thing of offense...I get so scared. I even started thinking at a point that this is the right thing or way. Share cost of the Apple, 400 naira wheat etc. should I say loneliness caused it ? It’s a boring state

But u hit the nail on the head!!!

Both of you are not mature enough for marriage. Also, you don’t love him and he does not love you. You are just tolerating each other, am sorry to break it for you, it wouldn’t last.

If you love someone, the number of times he or she eats will not influence your proportion of contributions towards the up keep of the house, as long as you can avoid it.

He does not trust you that, you are pulling your weight financially, hence he is asking to see receipts. Despite the fact that, you don’t ask to see receipts, you don’t trust him to be pulling his weight financially either, no marriage last in the atmosphere of lack of love.

Since, you still have access to your previous place, it would be better you move back. Both of you should give yourselves some space and breathing room to determine if this is the kind of banta you want to live through for the rest of your live.

Iamafinegirl:

Sex doesn’t change a person. It won’t change me neither would it change him

My dear, sex does! In fact, the primary reason for most divorce is sex. See, the issue is you shouldn't have think of going there to spend a year before you kno him better, going there to spend weekend once in a while is ok. U said he buys pizza and many more when u re not staying with him, then while would buying you apples bring trouble? The sex stuff is the issue, if u re not ready to give him, returns to ur house and visit him on weekends and stop demanding from him for time being to cool the tension. Then observe closely and make ur conclusion from his behavior.

linearity:
Both of you are not mature enough for marriage. Also, you don’t love him and he does not love you. You are just tolerating each other, am sorry to break it for you, it wouldn’t last.

If you love someone, the number of times he or she eats will not influence your proportion of contributions towards the up keep of the house, as long as you can avoid it.

He does not trust you that, you are pulling your weight financially, hence he is asking to see receipts. Despite the fact that, you don’t ask to see receipts, you don’t trust him to be pulling his weight financially either, no marriage last in the atmosphere of lack of love.

Since, you still have access to your previous place, it would be better you move back. Both of you should give yourselves some space and breathing room to determine if this is the kind of banta you want to live through for the rest of your live.

deep!!!!

Validfacts:

My dear, sex does! In fact, the primary reason for most divorce is sex. See, the issue is you shouldn't have think of going there to spend a year before you kno him better, going there to spend weekend once in a while is ok. U said he buys pizza and many more when u re not staying with him, then while would buying you apples bring trouble? The sex stuff is the issue, if u re not ready to give him, returns to ur house and visit him on weekends and stop demanding from him for time being to cool the tension. Then observe closely and make ur conclusion from his behavior.

Nice advise... worth trying but the him I know would sit up once I have left due to subconscious fear of loosing me and he would be back to himself after I am back (marriage).
But ofcourse it’s definitely d proper thing to do....to get out.....thanks much

linearity:
Both of you are not mature enough for marriage. Also, you don’t love him and he does not love you. You are just tolerating each other, am sorry to break it for you, it wouldn’t last.

If you love someone, the number of times he or she eats will not influence your proportion of contributions towards the up keep of the house, as long as you can avoid it.

He does not trust you that, you are pulling your weight financially, hence he is asking to see receipts. Despite the fact that, you don’t ask to see receipts, you don’t trust him to be pulling his weight financially either, no marriage last in the atmosphere of lack of love.

Since, you still have access to your previous place, it would be better you move back. Both of you should give yourselves some space and breathing room to determine if this is the kind of banta you want to live through for the rest of your live.

I am not saying I am perfect I am sure I have my own...
But then I just don’t feel forcing and fighting your wife to contribute to 300 naira sugar is d proper way.
I did even rather you collect half rent for me and spare me sharing 300 naira sugar, 100 naira maggi, 200 naira coke etc
It’s disgusting.
Dude can’t even remember wen last he took me out Cus of this micromanaging of money���.
What led me here to stay with him too was loneliness
I was lonely
I had no friends
Lock down came
I was getting depressed having no one to talk to and all...my mental health was getting affected.
I couldn’t travel home either as I wasn’t permitted to do that.

.

Iamafinegirl:

Nice advise... worth trying but the him I know would sit up once I have left due to subconscious fear of loosing me and he would be back to himself after I am back (marriage).
But ofcourse it’s definitely d proper thing to do....to get out.....thanks much

All thanks to God. Wishing u all the best in ur relationship.

sex has a way of bonding romantic partners together and that is what is lacking in this relationship. sometimes it can be quite frustrating, especially for men , when u cannot get intimate with the lady that ure in a relationship with . so op there's nothing wrong with your relationship but sex.

kunkelhanspeter:
Guy man don see finish tire looking for a way to discharge and look for fresh puxxy sorry aunt

Something wey he never tasted .....

I think could be lack of money that is making your guy act that way,but come to think of it,this is how white people carry on their normal relationship, everything is 50/50 including bills,shopping and all expenses if the both parties are working,thus the women there has great worth in the male folks eye..In our culture what the guy is saying to u about milk,and those stuffs is absurd,but trust me could be because of lack of sex too cos sex connects people more,the relationship starts in most guys eye after sex,that's why those who are not committed to u or love u will discard u after they have had sex with u,but is sex bad?No..
I believe the guy is frustrated with u cos u live with him so block him from every chances of sleeping with another girl yet in your selfishness u have decided to lock up,
"Body no be firewood na"..If it were to be me,I won't be with a girl who is not ready for sex for 3 months talk more of living with her..cos trust me without sex u are like u have nothing to loose so u might end this relationship at any time with the guy,that's our Nigerian female mentality, so all his spending will be a waste of resources, cos most Nigerian ladies have nothing to offer to guys order than sex..if u want a normal relationship then I think sex must be involved to be able to really
Know if u both want to be with each other for real or is it lust, infatuation and all about sex...And if u don't want sex then enjoy been together as roommates u are now and share the responsibility together,u have nothing to complain about...

ruffkenny:
I think could be lack of money that is making your guy act that way,but come to think of it,this is how white people carry on their normal relationship, everything is 50/50 including bills,shopping and all expenses if the both parties are working,thus the women there has great worth in the male folks eye..In our culture what the guy is saying to u about milk,and those stuffs is absurd,but trust me could be because of lack of sex too cos sex connects people more,the relationship starts in most guys eye after sex,that's why those who are not committed to u or love u will discard u after they have had sex with u,but is sex bad?No..
I believe the guy is frustrated with u cos u live with him so block him from every chances of sleeping with another girl yet in your selfishness u have decided to lock up,
"Body no be firewood na"..If it were to be me,I won't be with a girl who is not ready for sex for 3 months talk more of living with her..cos trust me without sex u are like u have nothing to loose so u might end this relationship at any time with the guy,that's our Nigerian female mentality, so all his spending will be a waste of resources, cos most Nigerian ladies have nothing to offer to guys order than sex..if u want a normal relationship then I think sex must be involved to be able to really
Know if u both want to be with each other for real or is it lust, infatuation and all about sex...And if u don't want sex then enjoy been together as roommates u are now and share the responsibility together,u have nothing to complain about...

This ur theory deep o
Kilode.
I understand the sexual frustration part hit he has never really shown it though like it’s something he is angry about. It seemed like it’s something we would later do so no problem.
I am just tired sef and bored and the boredom would be worse once I am back to my house.

Validfacts:
All thanks to God. Wishing u all the best in ur relationship.

Hmmmmmm

ruffkenny:
I think could be lack of money that is making your guy act that way,but come to think of it,this is how white people carry on their normal relationship, everything is 50/50 including bills,shopping and all expenses if the both parties are working,thus the women there has great worth in the male folks eye..In our culture what the guy is saying to u about milk,and those stuffs is absurd,but trust me could be because of lack of sex too cos sex connects people more,the relationship starts in most guys eye after sex,that's why those who are not committed to u or love u will discard u after they have had sex with u,but is sex bad?No..
I believe the guy is frustrated with u cos u live with him so block him from every chances of sleeping with another girl yet in your selfishness u have decided to lock up,
"Body no be firewood na"..If it were to be me,I won't be with a girl who is not ready for sex for 3 months talk more of living with her..cos trust me without sex u are like u have nothing to loose so u might end this relationship at any time with the guy,that's our Nigerian female mentality, so all his spending will be a waste of resources, cos most Nigerian ladies have nothing to offer to guys order than sex..if u want a normal relationship then I think sex must be involved to be able to really
Know if u both want to be with each other for real or is it lust, infatuation and all about sex...And if u don't want sex then enjoy been together as roommates u are now and share the responsibility together,u have nothing to complain about...

Trust me it’s not lack...
Nobody is lacking in the relationship
Far from it

tchidi066:
@op, madam, in the name of whatever you serve, please leave that house, yes leave, why should you cohabit with someone who isn't your husband, imagine my so called boyfriend will buy apples and i will split the bills by half, it's so uncalled for. I doubt that guy loves you, and if there is anything that irks me in life, it's stingy and selfish people, i avoid them like a plague.

Hello ❤️

Iamafinegirl:


These things wld still b there wit or without d sex. When sex tire am...or nothing fascinating about my body again. It would still raise up its ugly head back

Having read both threads, you're obviously immature and a lil selfish. I'd tell you as a woman your virginity is nothing and should not be used as a bargain for a man to love you eternally. If your withholding sex was for chastity or religious purposes I'd understand, but to you it's a tool, so 'he won't use and dump me,' 'when sex tires am'. What keeps a man isn't sex or the fact that you were a virgin but rather what you bring to the table in terms of total package.

Even your responses on his thread shows pettiness. He is petty yes, but you girl are the Queen of petts. As highlighted you also truly don't like him, you've made it clear he toasted you for 1.5yrs, it took the world intervening to give in to a relationship, you stated you only gave in because he buys fuel for you and pizza at unholy hours, now being in a relationship you're withholding sex moreso whilst in the relationship despite living with him, you're not pulling your weight and expect him to shoulder more of the responsibilities even though you're living rent free, working in same office and earning equally. No other words for you girl, you're a USER.

Best bet, walk away from this relationship, you guys have different idealogies. Evaluate and work on yourself before venturing into another relationship. Because as you currently are, you have no business in relationships

Iamafinegirl:

Sex doesn’t change a person. It won’t change me neither would it change him

If you've not had it how do you know? You cannot talk about what you've not experienced and worse still don't speak on behalf of others. You're so immature girl. You must be very early 20s

?

Whether the two of you love each other or not is not in my place to dwell on.

Fighting over little things like sharing the cost of N400 apple is quiet laughable.

What I deduced from this write up and having heard from your supposed boo side of the same story is clear and without a hint of doubt points to UNDERSTANDINGS.

You two don't understand each other not even by 50% not minding the fact that you two have already cohabit for probably a year.

Sit him down and settle the difference once and for all. And above all work on your understanding.

From what I deduce again,you two are not the quiet type.

Work on your understanding.
Work on your understanding..
Work on your understanding..

and...


Make patience a critical part of your personality.


Best wishes!!!

To Iamafinegirl
Well I've read your posts n comments, I've never dropped any comments on nairaland but I decided to drop some bits cos I felt for you n him
There are several question marks to your post, his posts and comments... your kind of relationship is a child's play that both of you even decide to expose each other on social media! haba... it's not mature and it really questions your readiness for marriage (referring to you too).
From what I read, you guys are like tennis players but if you are really in love with one another, you play it like a doubles game with the MINDSET of WINNING TOGETHER, even if one is doing better, he realizes that's it's a team game and he won't fare well without his partner.
you both are accusing each other and exposing faults without even mentioning a fault of yours as if you're perfect without any mistakes even asking us all to 'note', 'note that'.. you won't find that in a happy marriage
don't listen to all these bigots asking and telling you to give him sex, they are so unreasonable, he didn't force it from you and you giving him with change very little cos from what I saw in your post and his, no problem was mentioned about that part but it's totally wrong to move in with him, living together 'like' a couple but no commitment, to me it's a drama.
I won't attack you or him, this matter needs maturity cos it may lead to your being happy forever or living a life with regrets and self hate...
There are things you can do to make the whole thing beautiful again as it started if you're truly in love with each other... None of us here have all the facts between you two, all we read is your story and you're vindicating yourself and exposing the other... I would wish to ask you both questions so both can see how he can play ones part to building it up TOGETHER, what we read is sad but exposing it on social media is wrong, many are giving ill advice, many will insult you or him and I'm sure that's not what you would like... Before I drop any advice to you as a brother to his sister, it's just to ask few questions especially to both cos i can't do not based on what I read cos it's either one act based on your opinion, his opinion or the FACT...
but those telling you to give him sex are misleading you but there are still question marks in your posts..

from what I see, these important qualities are either not there or too low
#Understanding is either not there at alllllll
#Love... Do you even love each other or it's attraction or infatuation, Love is not infatuation neither is it attraction cos both are similar but like a castle built on a Sandy Beach that will be washed away with time.
#Communication... How well do you guys communicate, is it heartfelt communication? when you guys are having misunderstanding, do you try to settle it together by having a deep conversation as best friends allowing the other to talk without interrupting or if it's beyond you, do you both AGREE to see an older person, one with a SUCCESSFUL, happy marriage on how he can advice you to settle some matters? you can threw it on this platform for us to see your shame
#Prayer... Prayers help, pray with him and pray for him and put God first
#Empathy, both are not empathetic at alllllll, the other one is at fault, the other one does not know what I'm passing through


All I dropped is not for unmarried couples, I wonder why u stay with him in the first place, he may not have complained about sex cos he agreed earlier but we are all humans with urges but I stand with sex after marriage... if you employ an hungry man to work for you in a bakery without feeding him, do you expect him to come n complain to you that he's hungry?

tsmith:


Having read both threads, you're obviously immature and a lil selfish. I'd tell you as a woman your virginity is nothing and should not be used as a bargain for a man to love you eternally. If your withstanding sex was for chastity or religious purposes I'd understand, but to you it's a tool, so 'he won't use and dump me,' 'when sex tires am'. What keeps a man isn't sex or the fact that you were a virgin but rather what you bring to the table in terms of total package.

Even your responses on his thread shows a pettiness. He is petty yes, but you girl are the Queen of petts. As highlighted you also truly don't like him, you've made it clear he toastes you for 1.5yrs, it took the world intervening to give in to a relationship, you also gave in because he buys fuel for you and pizza at unholy time, despite being in a relationship you're withholding sex and more so in the relationship despite living with him, you're not pulling your weight and expect him to should more of the responsibility even though you're living rent free, working in same office and earning equally. Not other words for you girl, you're a USER.

Best bet, walk away from this relationship, evaluate and work on yourself before venturing into another relationship. Because as you currently are, you have no business in relayionships

Couldn't believe a lady said this deep truths to a fellow sex..
Had to click on your profile and Alas, it was so, considering the fact that the account has been created since 07 and also based in bristol, Uk..
Really surprised..

#ILMOVON
#Attitude
#Bliv


Both of you have issues, having read both threads but I blame the dude more
@ BwambaSolomon who on earth toast a woman for close to 2 years and even involve his boss and colleagues to help him and do so ??
That was when you lost your man frame and became vulnerable to her whims and caprices ..
Y'all need a break and a re evaluation..

ABANGWABOI:



Couldn't believe a lady said this deep truths to a fellow sex..
Had to click on your profile and Alas, it was so, considering the fact that the account has been created since 07 and also based in bristol, Uk..
Really surprised..

Haa haa Haa. Because feminism is a 2 way street, many choose the parts that favour them.

And also because I am an well experienced realist.

tsmith:


Haa haa Haa. Because feminism is a 2 way street, many choose the parts that favour them.

And also because I am an well experienced realist.

kudos..
much Regards from me to you..

on a diff note, Make we do contract marriage, make I join you for yankee, I go settle you wella.. na d papers I need ..
lol, but I am serious thou..

Finegirl and Solomons mata tire pesin ooh

If you had taken the advice of so many who asked you to return to your house, the second phase of this from the guy wouldn't be here. Please go back to your place find something to engage yourself with to avoid loneliness.