As you are thinking of going back to him dont forget to coffin for youself because when next he covers your face with pillow you may not survive to tell us, take care.

am a man, so i will advice u dat a man dat lay is hands on u does not deserve u no matter is justification of is anger. unless u love being beaten and maybe dat is ur turn den u can stay. but i will tell u e does not deserve of u a bit unless sincerely e is ready 2 change. QED

I know he still loves me and has realized the horrible things he has done.

Poster, are you for real? In case you think he loves you, (NOT!) he definitely has a very nice way of showing it then

I know most of you will tell me to leave him but it's not that easy, the commitment and the sacrifice i have made in this relationship would not make that so easy for me.

Count your loses, and start investing in a happy, fruitful and fulfilling future for yourself. Don't let some loser cut your life short for your parent and the people who love you!

Well, well, well, the most complicated part of this whole story is that you said that you love him.
When a woman is in love, hmmmmm, it takes God to make her see a fault in her object of love.

The first and very important advice I will give you is to leave the man; but I know you will not;
A man that beats you even before marriage will poison you in marriage, it gets more complicated in marriage.
If he can raise his hands on you now,sister be ready for really serious battering in marriage.

So that take me to the second advice, you said that you argue a lot, meaning that you are a very stubborn lady. You have become so used to this man that you take him for granted. You know he is hot tempered and yet you go ahead and raise your voice on him.If you MUST be with this man you MUST settle it in your heart to ALWAYS accept to loose in EVERY argument even when you know he is being foolish.Tell him what you want to tell and NEVER exchange words with him if he does not agree with your view. That means you will be playing the fool in the marriage.

You said he loves you, well,I suggest you suspend/separate from him for now.Stay away from him for atleast two months to re-evaluate what you actually feel for him.You will not die in two months without him. If he truly loves you,he will be coming to check you and then you will have the opportunity to re-negotiate the relationship.

And PLEASE for your love's sake,stop arguing with him.
And remember to tell God about your worries and fears about him.Love and prayers is very effective.He is getting bored of you and you are helping him to find the reasons dump you.Separate from him and give yourself some value girl.
What you have invested is nothing compared to what you will suffer if you dont deal with these issues before marrying that man.

You must love him so much to have posted it here.
Love is sacrifice.According to 1 corithians 13,love is not a feeling. Resist the urge to go back to him now,you can talk to him but wait for two months.Your head will be clearer then and try to talk to other guys who can add value to you,especially those guys that has been after you for sometime now,they will tell you sweet things that will boost your ego.

Good luck.
Remember to vote tommorrow

it won't get better it might get worse though

tell me the kind of stupid luv u are aving for him.Everybody that have suffered hrtbreak has bin committed on way or another so urs is not new.this is just little of what you will c wen u marry him.If he cant b controlling his temper and u still luv him the way he is,that mean you are ready for untimely death.

please my sister give me ur address, so that i can come and taste my power on ur body. because since i was born i have not beathing a woman before. and it looks as if i am not man a nuf. please i want to have a taste of beathing a woman. and since they have already started the thing with u. so that after i finished with u then i can now think if i can use the styles on my girl.  but it has to start with u because i can see ur body is very strong like stone or robber.





if u cares meet me @ 23 Angola street via Jamaica/Nigeria u will see me. first knock on my door one powerful blow that carys aju on ur face u fall down and stand up again for the second and the final blow that will send u to hospital. from there u get the answer to what u are asking for
gud luck

How weak an wanton the human heart is. It the midst of such grave abuse, many still seek to find love- even if it is non exitant. One often finds them self in situations to complex to simply turn and walk away, yet the consequences of staying are terrible. So what is the real reason you remain with him? A question you should ponder upon with sincerity, for even a dog will bite its master if abused for too long. The crux of the relationship is long gone, yet you find reason to belive it is still there. Don't take likely to such threats, less they merit real consequences in the future. One day will come and in his anger, he will strike the fatal blow (be it deliberately or inadvertently). So do both yourselves a favor, and take some time out to reevaluate the relationship. Except there are other reason you choose to stay e.g material reason i.e money, status, etc. Good Luck my friend, and stay blessed.

you're only staying because of the KONDO, use ur brains gurl

There is something i do not understand, why a girl gets to physically abused and she turns around ad says, I know he still loves me!
Well, i am a guy and i was never brought up to beat adults that i love.
This guy has said he will kill you and has come close to doing that: I really do not know what else you are waiting for there, maybe you are waiting to be killed. Why am i even wasting my time responding to this post: It is a very simple solution, if you want to die, stay put and keep your mouth shut (DO NOT BOTHER WASTING OUR TIME ON THIS FORUM WITH YOUR STUPIDITY) If you do not want to die, then you are an adult and know exactly what to do!

.

Hey Nerd, dont think I backed down on our arguement about this issue. I went out with a friend and am just coming back now. It's 3:30am saturday morning over here but, I'll like to stay for maybe 30 to 45 more munites before going to bed, so lets continue our arguement cos you guys fail to point out the main problem but, I thank God that som1 with GOOD SENSE OF REASONING has finally came up with it!

Pls, read the post below let me know if you can stil try to see where I was heading to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote from ekoboy:

"My take on this is, why tempt?
We forget that its not only between man and woman that you have weaker persons. A man will not go looking for fight against someone he is sure is stronger and will surely beat him up. Why can't some women adopt that strategy? Am sure there are other ways a woman can make her point without being confrontational. We forget some words are more dangerous than fists.

Am not supporting men beating women, but am saying let the woman help in not making it happen. It is inappropriate to tell a man " there is noting you can do" under any circumstance. The man will go ahead to prove to you that there is something he can do. I have seen where a man killed someone because of that statement. So everybody should be careful how they use their tongue. Its not everyone that has self restraint."

Do you grasp what I was tryna say?

well we are all stupid in some aspect of our lives.no one  sees  everything  that's  why  we have mirrors

Aah na wa oh some men bad ooh. But if na true story be this, I don't think You will be thinking of going back after just 2 days.

it also depends on whose daughter you marry if you beat baba iyabo's daughter you no go fit laav for long time

Only pathetic excuses for men hit women. I wonder why anyone would justify the actions of an animal. If you aspire to be a kick boxer or street fighter, simply pick an opponent your size. As for the poster, I think it is up to her to decide if her life is worth living or not. What exactly can an abusive man give you except black eyes and bruises. What kind of sacrifice will make you wait for your own death? You should leave while you can. He will never change. It takes a punch in the wrong place to earn you a spot in the obituary section of newspapers.  

Dear Poster there is no amount on investment that can be weighted with how much your life is worth. Do not remian in such abusive relationship before you become damaged yourself. For crying out loud you are constantly being abused and you have not taken to your heels? Let me give you a stern advice; i do not care how deeply you love the guy or how many times he apologises you must leave him now before you are destroyed by a monster. Do not be afraid to let go especially for your own security.You deserve to be loved by someone who cares genuinely about you.

[size=14pt]Beat?

I can't find any reason to even use an abusive word on my girl friend, let alone beat her. I have read stories how people quarrel in their relationships to the extent of fighting each other, and I begin to wonder why? I have friends who do and say all sorts of things to their girl friends, but I have not done it myself, at some point I started looking for a way to start a quarrel with my girl friend, I wanted to know how it feels like to quarrel with the girl you truly love. I wanted to start quarrel lol, _{stupid me} till today, I still haven't find a reason to start the quarrel, and I don't see that happening. I think I am a lucky guy to have find such a humble, inteligent, understanding, caring, loving and pwetty girl.[/size]

@kofsy.your case is similar to a very good female friend of mine. She has been dating my brother's friend since 2005, its all started last year when this broz started beating my friend ooo even they both loves each other.both parent knew they were dating,my friend use to sleep at d broz parent house, after my friend couldnt bear the beating again,she started dating someone else without letting d broz to know. Just last week,the broz went to check her at her school in AAU only to caught a guy with her ,na so yawa gash. Everytin scatter, Thats how d relationship ended, even though my friend made a mistake for not tellin d broz she aint doing again. But wat has happen has happened. I told d broz,JUST CLEAR HEAD AND WALK AWAY.find anoda girl, ,but kofsy, i will advice you to quit before he eventually murder u, remember,if u die in d course of d relationship. He's going to marry and live his life,,. .my dad never beat my mum and NEVER NEVER would i beat my gf or wife. Abo oro la n so fun omoluwabi,to ba de inu re a di odindi.

It is obvious that this girl is really in love with the guy that she does not mind losing her life as long as she is with him so my question to the girl is this DO YOU LOVE THE GUY ENOUGH TO TURN HIM INTO A KILLER? DO YOU LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO SEND HIM TO JAIL FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE? because if you do not leave now, then you don't love him half as much as you claim to love him

@ Poster

You still love him eh? He was 'nice' at first. OK stay in the relationship, until he beats you so bad that even Jackie O sunglasses wont be large enough to cover your black- eye.

Nuff said.

Walahi, ode ni e

hehe!

This word LOVE has been abused. Gal u dnt love dis guy. U re only with him bcoz of some selfish reasons best known 2 u. Even the gals i like, i can step my hands on them in form of beating let alone the ones i love. Gal open ur eyes jor! I dey vex!

Unfortunately, ekoboy is the ONLY one that saw the real picture on this topic, gademmit!

Ileke-IdI:

I just don't get it.
I don't get the possibility of loving or accepting the love from someone who causes physical damage to their love ones.
This reminds me of Tina Turner's case study. "What has love got to do with it?"
The best advise I've seen on this thread; You can't love someone until you love yourself. I understand that the person that was referring to the abusive man in question. But at the same time, it also applies to you (original poster). If you love yourself, you would do anything in your power to protect your physical and mental identity.

Why do you make yourself so vulnerable? Do you think you can't be loved by another human being?
I offer you my love then. If my love will help you love yourself, I'll be happy to offer it.
No woman should allow herself to be abused.

I've worked with people who found themselves in similar situation as yours, some even violated by their so called boyfriends. I know it's not so easy to walk away as many suggested here. It's never so easy to walk away, but at times, that's the only option.
I know I'm just a cyber identity, but you need a shoulder to lean on, I'll provide mines. I'll be back on this thread, just incase.

Please dear reserve the other shoulder for me cos i need am bad bad


@poster,
you are not ready to leave d guy yet u want an advice so wot do you want me to tell you cos i definitely dont want blood in my hands for me to tell you to stay, but sometimes i wonder how Nigerian girls behave dont we have cops in nija again or is there no law that protect d right of our woman in that country.

In this country were i live you dare not lift your hands on your gf or wife unless you have made up your mind to cool your heels in jail, sometime last year my neighbor had a heated argument with her bank manager husband moments later d cops arrived on d request of d wife, wen they tried to settle the two of them d wife was like "i cant stay in this house with him this night" after all effort to calm her down falls the cops ask d husband if he has a friend who can accommodate him this night that they will be back to 2moro to see if his wife has calmed down, the cops left with d husband

And i was like oooboyyy can this type of thing happen in my own country Nigeria

[b]I NEED TO DIRECT YOU TO WHERE YOU WILL BE COUNSELED. YOU NEED HELP AS YOU ARE NOT WITH YOUR RIGHT SENSES.

I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE OF YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF. I AM STILL BITTER OVER YOUR CLAIM OR BELIEVE THAT THE GUY WILL CHANGE. I AM ANNOYED WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU WANT TO WASTE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF A MAN. LISTEN, IN THIS MODERN ERA, WITHOUT MONEY IN RELATIONSHIP, NO LOVE AS LOVE IS NOT BLIND ANY LONGER. IT WAS BLIND IN THE YRS BACK.50S, 60S, 70S AND NOTHING TO WRITE HOME FROM 80S TILL DATE. IF THE GUY CAN PANEL BEAT YOU LIKE PANEL BEATER, ONE DAY HE WILL WASTE YOU THROUGH ANY MEANS.
RELATIONSHIP IS ALL ABOUT UNDERSTANDING AND NOT BY VIOLENCE. ANY MAN WHO BEATS A WOMAN IS POSSIBLE OF DOING ANY OTHER THING FURTHER, LIKE DIRECT KILLING OR INDIRECT KILLING. HE COULD HIRE A PERSON TO GET YOU OFF HIS LIFE, IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO DO IT DIRECT.

IN CALABA, A MAN SUSPECTED HIS WIFE OF CHEATING ON HIM, MARE SUSPICION. A MOTHER OF 2 OF HIS GROWN UP CHILDREN OF ABOUT 15YS AND 17YS OF AGE. HE CAME BACK FROM THE SCHOOL ONE DAY AND ASKED HIS CHILDREN TO GO TO THEIR NEIGHBOR THAT HE WANTS TO DISCUSS WITH THEIR MOTHER. THEY LEFT THE HOUSE AND THE MAN LOCKED THE BURGLARY PROOF ONLY TO SLASH HIS WIFE’S THROAT AND LEFT HER TO DIE.

YOU CAN HANG ON TO THIS YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ONE DAY, YOU WILL BE A VICTIM. IF NOT NOW,
LATER. YOU ARE NOT MARRIED YET AND YOU ARE BEEN ABUSED ALREADY. I WISH I KNEW YOUR PARENTS. I THINK YOU HAVE A LOW SENSE OF MIND.
I HATE YOU.[/b]

beeke:

In this country were i live you dare not lift your hands on your gf or wife unless you have made up your mind to cool your heels in jail

Not when she "dares" you and when you ask her to leave YOUR house, she confidently tells you "NO, I WONT!"

The fvck do you think she's looking for?. . .NO BE DEATH, ni? . . .Unfortunately, the BF gave her what she asked for and he's being crucified here in NL. Kudos to the boyfriend jare!

STUBBORN GIRL!

The guy must be very good in bed 4 her 2 not want 2 leave the guy inspitte of the severe @$$whuppin'

If you must stay with him, go learn martial arts up to black belt level. Also enrol in self defense classes for women.

Ranoscky:

Not when she "dares" you and when you ask her to leave YOUR house, she confidently tells you "NO, I WONT!"

The fvck do you think she's looking for?. . .NO BE DEATH, ni? . . .Unfortunately, the BF gave her what she asked for and he's being crucified here in NL. Kudos to the boyfriend jare!

STUBBORN GIRL!

Bros believe me na for nija wey leave my house dey workoooo
can you imagine that i have to secretly relocate becos of my ex gf. the babe openly told me that any day i f**k up that she will hang R*A*P*E for my neck ooboyyy before anybody say ben johnson i take off. for here them no take woman right play ludo especially wen you are a foreigner