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How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? (41933 Views)

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Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by a4cube: 9:41am On Apr 04, 2021
doggedfighter:


Very stupid post grin grin

He even drew monthly plans and percentages on someone's salary grin

If you're not wise, people will ruin you with responsibilities and before you realize it. Hmmm.
Do not be surprised some family members reason that way. And when you don't agree to this their wack reasoning you become a bad person. It's unfortunate.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by BRATISLAVA: 9:41am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


True.

I called my mom and told her what my uncle said, she said I should not take him seriously.

Thanks

Your mother sounds very reasonable.

However, it sounds like you're painting your mother with a bad brush by coming here and acting like she got sick on purpose and as if she's draining you.

You simply don't want to have responsibilities towards your family, and that is understandable, but stop acting like she got sick to spite you and drag you under. Sons are fond of this attitude. They will live lavish while their families are struggling then act like their families don't know what they are passing through and nagging them.

Your uncle is right about one thing: your mother is your responsibility. How you choose to go about it is entirely your business.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by writeprof(m): 9:41am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
What surprises me is that immediately I got the job, my mom started having health challenges.

I have observed it several times in different people.

When they are able to make a breakthrough in life (like getting a good job, graduation, financial breakthroughs),

something bad (like sickness or death) would affect their relatives, either the mom,dad,son, daughter or any close relative.

Please who else has noticed this, and why must it be so?


Use godly wisdom and patience to calmly explain while you cannot meet the demands being placed on you as putting off your phone will not solve anything. I hope you are also not living a lifestyle that also sends out the wrong message to all them.
For your mum, if possible, move her from the village to where you could watch her closely as she is being used by your uncle.
About people getting sick as ways to drain resources is a clear and true situation brought about by ungodly demonic forces. Anything demonic or ungodly can only be faced by/with a godly response/actions. GOD BLESS YOU �
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by CapedBaldy: 9:43am On Apr 04, 2021
ImaIma1:


That one sounds like an entitled sibling. He knows how someone's money should be shared for the benefit of the whole family.
all that's left is for him to create percentage for himself as payment for creating the formula.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by michlins(m): 9:43am On Apr 04, 2021
Here's some facts,
..
your village people are after you and hates your progress.

Your mom is old and will eventually die. So what happens when she dies and you don't have a job

If you resign your job and she becomes sick and you can't take care of her and she dies. The uncle will still blame you
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by seunny4lif(m): 9:43am On Apr 04, 2021
Solution no need of fasting and prayers
Take your mom away from family people and village people
Simple solution that as worked over 100%
Else more problems for you
I few friends that were suffering from similar problems and that was their solution.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by seyz91(m): 9:44am On Apr 04, 2021
you right about other things except for the part you said "to be great, you have to be stingy"

thats so fucking wrong on all levels
chatinent:
Bros, you are not from Bethlehem!


If I were you, I'll set up a provision store for mom to minimise the monthly expectations.

I can easily relate to what you mean.


Advise everyone of your relatives to go and WORK! Make them know you have your own life to live.


To be great, you have to be stingy.

Because if you fall now, those people will still abuse you that there's nothing you did from your Federal job for so and so years. They'll forget you helped them!
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Sirlins(m): 9:44am On Apr 04, 2021
Die
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by fashrola(m): 9:44am On Apr 04, 2021
Mindlog:


Based on her age and health status, I would suggest you and your siblings see to it that you get someone to stay with her to help prepare her meals, do her laundry , general cleaning and most importantly make sure she religiously adheres to her medication.

You know the financial strength of each of your siblings, do encourage them to contribute accordingly to support your mum's assisted living as it would help you all have the peace of mind knowing your mum is not alone and being cared for.

Take this guy's advise!!!!!

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by pansophist(m): 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
Tell your uncle to come look after your mum, while you supply cash. If he refuses, don't pick his calls again. It would send a clear message that you're not subservient to him. Don't also quit your job, it's your power and bargaining chip. Let one of your siblings look after your mum, while you supply the funds necessary until your family gets over this challenge. Make it clear that quitting your job is not negotiable, of what use is a man when he can't even provide ? Don't make that mistake.

The responsibility to look after your mum is also on them, not just you. Telling you that they will hold you accountable if your mum dies should only worry you if you're not providing funds, as far you're providing, ignore their words, even a stupid person have something to say, and you must accept that many times, stupid people are not far, they are within your circles, even families.

It is your conscience and "being right" you should care about, not some threats and opinions of someone that is probably lazy, haven't work and have a low milage of ambition.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Basilekeh: 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
Why not bring your Mom to the place you are.....that's the best thing to do na.....that way you can take care of her.......maybe she and your sister....
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by udemzyudex(m): 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
Well this is my own advice, call a meeting among your siblings, all of you should decide whether to bring mama to stay with one of you or hire someone that will be taking care of her at home.

According to their financial capability, they should also send money to her too.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by seyz91(m): 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
Got a point there

if one person rich in a family the burden and pressure will be too much
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Duplexxx: 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
Bullshit dem when ever next time they will call they are crazy people your enemies will die before you no progress they we see



All because they are jealous of you having a gvt job

They want you to come and sit in the village doing nothing


Witch dem
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by wisemaster(m): 9:45am On Apr 04, 2021
I can perfectly relate to your situation.

There's only one key to use at this time. That key will give you absolute rest and peace of mind and your mum will forever be grateful to you. You would be shocked that her recovery may even be tied to this key.

What is the key?

Simply relocate her to be with you. You only need to get another caring sibling to temporarily stay with her while you're off to work.

The blessings you would reap from this is immense and this will silence all opposing and discordant voices of your people.

Nothing can be too much to do for your mother if you truly love her.

I read where you asked why some bad things happen to other people sometimes parents inclusive when one is making progress in live. Don't allow this philosophy to put your mum in bad light. That school of thought is faulty. Quit from that school.

Prayerfully take care of your mother and leave the rest to God.

All the best.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by BarrElChapo(m): 9:46am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Household enemies showing themselves, if I were you I'd blacklist that your uncle cos he surely doesn't have your best interests at heart, giving him your money is a big risk cos he can do the unthinkable.

By the way if your moniker is anything linked to your FG job how much is the pay kwanu, my kid sis is a lecturer too in a federal university and.is frustrated. Just be very very prayerful o
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Owopariola: 9:46am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

while I agree with you, the bolded one no follow. did the boy begged to be born? or if the mama no born am, another woman no go born am?
please we should stop thinking that anybody, either parents or even "God" did us good by giving us life we never begged for from the start.
Na the mama want born pikin, not the pikin want to be born by the mama, if at all he chose to be born.

Also, giving birth is part of life, almost inevitable. It's not only humans that born children, other life forms including plants also give birth to new life.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by kaboninc(m): 9:47am On Apr 04, 2021
maximunimpact:


Lols... i can change your life in a heartbeat. We are all anom here doesn't mean real men don't hang around here

You should first change yourself. Because you need the uplifting even more than the op.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Walkee: 9:47am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?
it's funny. You should have laughed and end the call.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by spotmataz: 9:48am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


Guy stop typing what you don't know about me.

I know what I am doing for them.

I just need an advice, not a bad judgement from a person who believes he knows everything about me.


You should expect things like this when you come to an open forum to ask for counsel.

That is by the way though.

Pls don't stop your job. You will regret it. Is there a way you could bring your mum to where you are, this will allow you actually monitor her treatment get someone to follow and stay with her while you work.

As for your Uncles don't quarrel with them o, use wisdom and explain why to them.

Maybe that treatment money you send is used to cater for some others things too. Your mother is your primary responsibility o.

Some elders here must have said more on this too sha.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by BRATISLAVA: 9:48am On Apr 04, 2021
writeprof:



Use godly wisdom and patience to calmly explain while you cannot meet the demands being placed on you as putting off your phone will not solve anything. I hope you are also not living a lifestyle that also sends out the wrong message to all them.
For your mum, if possible, move her from the village to where you could watch her closely as she is being used by your uncle.
About people getting sick as ways to drain resources is a clear and true situation brought about by ungodly demonic forces. Anything demonic or ungodly can only be faced by/with a godly response/actions. GOD BLESS YOU �

How can you believe that thing about people getting sick to drain others?

What if the years of suffering are having their toll? And if they fall sick and are draining, is the way out running away?

Children care too little for their less well off parents nowadays. Me, me, me. Yet these parents were selflessly bringing them up. You'll see a guy lavishly living life to the fullest, once he hears his mother, father or siblings are in need he begins to act like he's under pressure and there's no money. Money is truly the root of all evil.

May we all be rich parents so that our children won't play us for fools.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Sundaycomputer: 9:48am On Apr 04, 2021
Smile brother
It's well
Life goes on
As for me
I go No were
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Sofistcatdmoron: 9:48am On Apr 04, 2021
This is a worst case of "your-village people"
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Kobicove(m): 9:48am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


Guy stop typing what you don't know about me.

I know what I am doing for them.

I just need an advice, not a bad judgement from a person who believes he knows everything about me.


Just do the best you can but don't kill yourself afterall no be only you una mama born.

...ignore that fo0l that says you should resign from your job to relocate to the village to take care of your mother
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by DAramis: 9:49am On Apr 04, 2021
At OP, the said, Picture speaks louder than words.
I do hope this picture will give you the answers you need.

All the same, don't quit your job but look for a nice lady you could be paying monthly salary to look after your mum (probably the lady should be in same village with your mum and comes from a good home. Who knows, you might end up wifying her.... I mean marrying her as a wife.)

CC
lecturer50

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Owopariola: 9:49am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

if your dad is no longer in the picture, can't your mum stay with you in your new state?
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Protein0: 9:50am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?
I wonder how you roll with your mom that gave an uncle the gut to ask u to resign.

People live far away and still get praised for taking the best care of their blood, we're talking about your mom here.
Even if her ailments are age related, she deserves the best you can spend on her,even if it'll mean putting some personal expenses of yours on hold. This is the only opportunity for you to take care of her.

On your relatives, erase the thoughts of blocking them. I understand how troublesome some might be, keep doing within reasonability for them,even if they're not appreciative, let your conscience vindicate you.
Don't fight any of them,be as diplomatic as possible with them. May the Lord be with you
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Biggcake: 9:50am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Brother I understand what you are going through...

Simply block all of them from calling you so you have some peace....

After blocking them, create a hidden channel that you can be using to reach out to your mum and also to send her money...
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by sunnnnyuu(m): 9:50am On Apr 04, 2021
My advice to is take your mother to your work location and since it's federal government job you will have hmo include her in your defenders and the issue will be less difficult to you
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by ping72: 9:50am On Apr 04, 2021
Just get married, you'll be suprised!
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by EBEk101(m): 9:51am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

ai agree with him giving his mom what she needs but brothers and relatives should give the young man breathing space Abeg

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