introvertlady:


I'm so sad now, extremely depressed,if death was an option, I would have chosen it.

I'm at the weakest point in my life, I'm so sad because my life is fruitless and I'm irrelevant, that I think I would feel better if it would just end, but I already know it won't and it's no option.

, I have always known myself to be a very hard-working person, I have endured everything, I had hope, I don't enjoy anything other girls do, I wear rags with pride, walk bare footed with pride, I don't make my hair with pride, I ate bad foods with pride. I'm contented with the Little I have, I don't hurt people especially men so I never went into dating, I don't disturb anyone for money including family, anything my stingy dad gives me, I do not complain, I accept and manage it.

I don't collect money from men because I believe it's sinful. As a teenager, child,I was an object of bullying, mistreatment, abuse in school, I didn't let that get to me, I kept working hard, reading my books, doing good things. I'm a very quiet girl.
When I gained admission, same lifestyle, no friends,no talks, no shame about my poor condition, I can go without phone if my phone spoil, until my dad or mum decide to repair or buy a new one. I don't ever disturb them for any money like my older siblings, I just endured my poverty thinking one day it would end

At my University, I thought I would graduate with a first class, but they wickedly hurt me and gave me a very bad result, which is 0.01 away from a first class, but I still graduated as the best in the faculty. At that point, I knew I'm in a mess, so I thought of learning a skill, at least that would feed me till I get a job, my parents are unsupportive, so I had no one to give me money for learning,I had to wait till my nysc, I enrolled with someone I thought was the best in that area, she came to the nysc camp and taught well. Without minding the distance to m y PPA, I rented an apartment very close to her shop, having to take 3buses to my PPA. All my allowances were used to pay for housebills, and training fee. I usually give her money whenever they pay allowance, with nothing to eat,no cloth to wear, I endured, but at the end, the woman failed US, I ended up leaving the area depressed,as it was my hope and I gave it my everything, all my time and energy. She taught us to a level and stopped.it was a textbook she taught us with,she didn't proceed to sewing dresses with us and everyone left, I was still enduring until she started to insult me like a child, and wouldn't teach me anything after coming back from my PPA.

So I was still enduring,I proceeded to masters,I still put in my all, and ended up the best student, I sew cloths for myself but
I'm usually broke with nothing to eat. I finished master 2018 at age 24. 2019, I started pursuing Canada,I wasted all the year writing IELTS exam, applying for jobs and scholarships. I got nothing out except IELTS.
2020, there was covid19, I quietly sit with my broken laptop and developed IT skills and proceeded with Canada pursue. I can't earn with the Little IT skills, 2020,I got ITA, and early 2021, I got PR.,I can't go to Canada because of covid19 border closure. Everything is sponsored so it's not my money and doesn't mean I'm rich
Early 2021, I was dashed some money, I proceeded to learn dreads making, I became very sick after I finished the 2minths training.out of the stress I put myself through jumping busses and not eating since March. I have become very weak and not able to get customers as I was forced to travel home so I would eat good foods.

Now I'm 26, I feel so broken and sad because looking back at all my struggles to be relevant, I'm still irrelevant, I'm a nobody and above all, I'm 100Percent broke. I do hide from my mates because I still wear rags, and look very poor. My endurance yielded nothing. I'm tired because I don't know what is right and what is not, each time I have an idea, I do get confused, because non of my plans worked or yielded me earnings.

I get little energy to do things, I have people that constantly remind me of how all my struggles have been vanity, my family,bf, everyone close, they don't mean harm though, but just because she wanted me to make hair I hate, Ghana weaving, she would say what have I gained from my odd looks. I didn't bleach my hair or skin when my mates were doing that, and also, I get teased how not relaxing my hair has helped me look like a mad person, different scenarios like that.
My boyfriend would say, my agemates have achieved this and that and I haven't achieved anything, which is true. He could point to someone's shop for me, how big it is, how someo
Is making money. My Aunts, siblings, cousins could tell me stories how they use to steal to start business while in school, or how they used to lie about handout money, school fees just to wear the best cloths and be fine. My cousin would say how she used to collect double money, collect money from guys,lie etc while in school, how they use to attend parties, enjoy life. And they would mock me for reading/attending night classes because they knew that is my lifestyle since I was in secondary school.

Now, I want to learn hairdressing but I have no energy, because I saw my mistake in learning tailoring,as I never had the money to buy a sewing machine for myself while learning and afterwards plus I can't see for people. I want to add it to my dreads so I can earn from itboth in Canada. My mum wants me to use the money to buy clothes, I don't know what to do again at this point, I'm so tired and sad.
That's just an inch of the whole story, but a summary,so I understand if you don't understand how pained I am that my pains, endurance, and simple lifestyle has yielded nothing. Now to become an extrovert is very not me, and draining, and it seems it's my only route to financial freedom and to become somebody in life

Pointblank09:
Dear poster, pick yourself up and do what you desire to do you will be happy at the end

introvertlady:
People would mock me ok n everything I endured just to be better in the future, and I'm still backward. I ask myself if I was wasting my years but i keep looking back and seeing how I have spent every month working tirelessly.

Everyone would mock me for not achieving anything

FanOfMyself:
Have you considered learning computer programming/software development?
I can teach you if you are serious

smart1204:

pls sir/ma can u teach me, what will it cost pls can I give u a dm??

FanOfMyself:
090 74191 547 chat me up on whtsapp

Twittyt:
@OP be yourself, satisfied, happy, don't always look at what people around you are saying, If you think in your mind you are doing what is expected of you, why do you want to be sad?

My dear, when you are happy and fulfilled, kill all bad and negative comment around you because it's suck and will continue to weigh you down and be depressed.

Finally, always look happy, be motivated and stay positive .