Hello everyone I just want to let out this piece. To put words on my thoughts on romance and brokenness.

In the days of my fathers your being broke wouldn't stop you from getting into romantic relationship even getting married. It was that easy for them. In fact my father married my mom at the age of 25. He was a mere carpenter and was managing a small shop for his carpentry works. It really worked for them that time maybe based on so many factors that may not be applicable to our current era.

But, right now, its very difficult to keep a romantic relationship with no small investment, financially and otherwise. Although there are exceptions but the point still stands. Its even harder for the physically challenged which I am in that category.

With my broke state I have never felt wanted romantically all my life not that I am that bad looking or lack game. Its just an uphill battle for me in the dating game. While, for the mean time I have intimate needs as a fully developed adult male which masturbation can not fully solve.

I am worried how much more longer I can go in my life without a partner and later find out I might not perform fully to satisfy my partner due to masturbation. I don't like masturbation but its just an alternative for me. I am really worried.