I am 21 years old, I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.

It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.

Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.

The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.

I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.

Are you a lesbian ni?

airminem:
Are you a lesbian ni?

No she is not

I have a question for you too. Are you marrying him because you want your education to be furthered or because you love him genuinely? Cause you sound like someone who is tired of getting money to fund her education through your wayward life and now want to settle for a guy who is ready to pick your education with his money.

Ask yourself do you love him genuinely or you just see your relationship with him as a means to an end.

No matter what you do pls mk sure you're not marrying him for help.

What if he was jobless or broke like me, would you still say you love and want him? Coz we all know there's no such thing as love without money.

At 21years it is not too early for you to be thinking about marriage or about getting married. ​
From what I depicted from your story ,you like this guy and see a future with him. On the other hand going against ones Parents choice of a spouse is a great leap in life, and if it backfires... you wont like to feel the outcome.

Remember if you wish to go against your Parents choice in a spouse, make sure you are very very very guided, and if you do like me know how, so as to Crown you among the few that succeeded in doing so.

O kwa Maka Premium Tears

hmm

Hanibbal:
I have a question for you too. Are you marrying him because you want your education to be furthered or because you love him genuinely?

according to her she loves him genuinely.

derindel:

No she is not

She dont need to do olosho to get herself some education. She could learn some skills or handwork for now(you need to bring something to the table in your marriage) For her family, you cannot throw away what the want for you. Just get some good reasonable family members to talk to your people and i hope the wind of your desire blows your direction. Wish you and your partner well.

derindel:
according to her she loves him genuinely.

According to who? Abi according to you derindel

Anyway. If you love him genuinely there is no problem and since you said both of you are closer to God why not involve your pastor if they can talk to your parents about the issue.

Useless people will be tormenting the OP now like they also planned to swallow in poverty

@OP you already said you genuinely love him, so what ? Sometimes families make some decision for us that we need to oppose, you only can see better how far you’ve gone and improve with the man.
But if really he meant what he said, he should see you through your HND first at least to the final year before marrying you off. Just an opinion not necessarily necessary.

Tell her,to post It herself.

Marriage is a very serious venture which can only be contracted with the consent of every party involved - the couple and their parents alike.

Marriage comes with huge responsibilities of which you will never have full grasp of what is involved until you jump in.

If you have prepared yourself mentally, emotionally and otherwise to get married, approach your grandparents, uncles/aunts or church elders to convince your family to allow you to get married to the man who proposed to you.

Prepare your points and present them convincingly. Maybe they will be able to get your father to allow you get married to your boyfriend.

I sabi b babe... See her twin self Dey same situation

NobleDeSage001:
Marriage is a very serious venture which can only be contracted with the consent of every party involved - the couple and their parents alike.

Marriage comes with huge responsibilities of which you will never have full grasp of what is involved until you jump in.

If you have prepared yourself mentally, emotionally and otherwise to get married, approach your grandparents, uncles/aunts or church elders to convince your family to allow you to get married to the man who proposed to you.

Prepare your points and present them convincingly. Maybe they will be able to get your father to allow you get married to your boyfriend.

thanks

HND is 18 months, not so? So he cannot wait 18months while making the preliminary preparations? What our parents see while lying in bed, you cannot see it even if you climb the Burj Khalifa. You better fara burukubale and ask your boyfriend to hold on.

Ishilove:
HND is 18 months, not so? So he cannot wait 18months while making the preliminary preparations?

We have being dating for more than two years. Also we are am mentally ready to get married

derindel:

We have being dating for more than two years. Also we are am mentally ready to get married

Don't start marriage on controversy. Start the program first then approach your dad again

Ishilove:

Don't start marriage on controversy. Start the program first then approach your dad again

thanks. But what if he leaves because he has waited for sometime now and he is not getting younger, I won't blame him

Ishilove:
HND is 18 months, not so? So he cannot wait 18months while making the preliminary preparations? What our parents see while lying in bed, you cannot see it even if you climb the Burj Khalifa. You better fara burukubale and ask your boyfriend to hold on.

also my dad does not want to see him. He thinks I am too young to get married

derindel:
also my dad does not want to see him. He thinks I am too young to get married

We are still saying the same thing. Start the HND program first and then approach your dad again.

na so e dey start!! chidinma twin sister spotted.


one man is about to go down, I repeat , one innocent man is about to go down!!!

let me go and sharp the remaining knife for you incase ..for future use

All you need to do is fasting and praying for onward divine guidance.

Your matter is just a very simple sturvs, just make him sign agreement that he will allow you to continue your studies even after marriage in order to ease your parents fear. Cos that's what they are afraid of; that your education will come to an abrupt halt..

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them!

Listen to the voice of ur parents and hold on.
I believe the whole thing will become clearer over time.
But in the interim let ur guy sponsor u through HND and by the time u're through u are either married or u get to marry him.

Since u're closer to God, make Jesus ur personal ally and he will definitely give you Divine direction on this matter.

Abeg d op na man abi woman ? Am lost

A Good foundation matter's alot.
U can't go into marriage without the blessings of ur parent. Do whatever it takes to have their backing, as fr ur age, I don't think 21yrs is too Young fr marriage in this time again.

Tell the lady that if her subconscious points to just graduating to be a housewife, then she has lesser reasons not getting married to him now.

Women were and are primarily married to support the family with love and care and not necessarily career proceeds. That is where their core happiness lies.

Furthermore, what I see the family has to understand is that she at that age is at her prime and is a perfect fit for the man of that age; one who of course has a prospective future and a reasonable level of comfort.

Her degrees and certificates in the university doesn't make her a better wife or mother, her understanding and fulfillment of her purpose does; being a family creature and not necessarily a success one. Ignore that feminism teaches.


It takes a high level of knowledge, discretion or experience to understand this.

I dont see any issue here. You have admitted that you did somethings in the past that were wrong and you are willing to marry him because you are 21. Age is a factor but a major factor for marriage except there is a wide difference. Now you are mentally ready and both of you are drawing closer to God. This means that your mind is already in shape to take on responsibility of marriage good or bad, however it comes. Please in all you do do not see this as an opportunity to just further your education but an opportunity to be with the man you truly love and he truly loves you. Take time to make your decisions from the point of balance and maturity. Your parent will eventually agree to your decision to marry, they only brought you into the world and your ultimate life will be lived by you. Above all take it to God in prayer and let him give you his eternal peace to go ahead. Ladies this age is the right and ripe one for you to marry. We have ladles in their 30s begging to be married and some in their 40s. Please dont compare her with Chidinma, it was her greed that led her.

derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.

It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.

Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.

The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.

I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.

This is one of the simplest problems to solve as far as I know

Once you are sure that your happiness is with these guy, pls go ahead and keep the relationship

Get pregnant if possible and continue the relationship

Your father and the rest of your family are doing what they feel best, so you too do your own before you loose that guy

The only solution here is for you to keep the pregnancy once it occurs and leave the matter to sort its self out

Don't go to any family members to beg your parents onhh, just team up with your guy and have one mind and spirit

Every problem get solutions

Can’t believe I booked a space to read this crap... meehnnn am outta here.