| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Reggaemich(m): 4:01pm On Jun 29, 2021 |
OP, u better calm down your blood dey hot
U might hurt yourself in the future with your decision, let me explain✓✓
Most men that promises a woman that she will finish her Education when she is married to Them, most of those women End up not finishing their Education, the wife later End Up as either an undergraduates, dropouts, OND holders (like your case)
It is difficult to combine academics with marriage especially when children are involved
Difficulty reading your books when you start having kids and taking care of them, leading to divided attention, Which in turn affects your your Zeal in your Education in a negative way
The best level a person can attain in academics and come out with his/her utmost best is when they are single, because they will give their Education their Overall best and they have less Distractions.
I know of someone who followed this your Route and she is regretting it Now, it may look blissful today but Tomorrow it might turn Sour
If he truely loves u, he should wait 1 Like |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Masturbator2020: 4:24pm On Jun 29, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.
See,make I warn you.if you like take my warning if you like don't take it.. If you let this man go,you will very likely regret it..There is a lady here that coursed her father even in death. Because her father stopped her from marrying a man she loves in name of tribe longtime ago.Now she is single even at her age..so think ooo..
It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.
Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.
The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.
I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.
|
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Rooneyboy(m): 8:26pm On Jun 29, 2021 |
derindel:
His dying business also resurrected
My friend,go get something to do and stop deceiving yourself. Follow the advice of ur parents, you both are too young to understand the situation of things in Nigeria at the moment. |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by DrFunmisticGlow: 8:57pm On Jun 29, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.
It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.
Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.
The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.
I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.
marry him. But get something legit to do With this your conviction that is so hard to find. I wish you luck. Also, try to hold off child bearing for a few years to stabilize |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by DrFunmisticGlow: 9:55pm On Jun 29, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.
It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.
Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.
The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.
I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.
marry him. With this your conviction that is so hard to find. I wish you luck 1 Like |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by escapefromusa(f): 9:36am On Jun 30, 2021 |
derindel:
also my dad does not want to see him. He thinks I am too young to get married
This my problem with southern parents.. not all but most. And, I think easterners have no qualms with a 21 year old finding a husband. .. not all but most I have seen. A 21 year old girl is too young for marriage but she allowed to sleep with different men, lick birth control pills like Tom tom and get abortions. Marriage at 21 - no Sex slave at 21 - yes |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Nobody: 1:51pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am .....
Was this announcement really necessary? 1 Like 
|
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by bepositive11: 2:47pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
Mikester:
Tell the lady that if her subconscious points to just graduating to be a housewife, then she has lesser reasons not getting married to him now.
Women were and are primarily married to support the family with love and care and not necessarily career proceeds. That is where their core happiness lies.
Furthermore, what I see the family has to understand is that she at that age is at her prime and is a perfect fit for the man of that age; one who of course has a prospective future and a reasonable level of comfort.
Her degrees and certificates in the university doesn't make her a better wife or mother, her understanding and fulfillment of her purpose does; being a family creature and not necessarily a success one. Ignore that feminism teaches.
It takes a high level of knowledge, discretion or experience to understand this. Please, you don't know what you're talking about. Do you know how many women remain in abusive marriages because they are not financially stable? Abusive men look for women who can't support themselves financially. Sometimes, they even remove their financial support after marriage. Some women get lucky but not all. It's better for women to be able to sustain themselves. Having a healthy balance between family and career is key |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by efficiencie(m): 3:12pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.
It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.
Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.
The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.
I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.
It seems you are already in the mood to do something stupid...you had better repent for your own good! Right now you are in a catch-22 situation. Your father may not supportive of your desire to get married now but you need his blessing to actually get married. Your man on the other hand does not trust that you will eventually get married to him after he supports you through school. He possibly believes you will likely be a very bad investment and that is why he is predicating his further support on the marriage...and from the way you sound, even I will have trouble trusting it seems you are agreeing to marry the man due to the support he has been offering you. I will advise that you genuinely repent of your past ways, seek deliverance, inform your father about the support you have received from your man and how you have no other means of getting finance to further your education, inform elders (including clergy folks) related or known to your father about this development and ask their support, reassure your man of your loyalty to him and plead with him to work with you through this trying time. If he is a good man, he will not let you go because of your father's opposition. 1 Like |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by 4reala(m): 4:54pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.
It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.
Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.
The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.
I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.
Sir, are you telling someone's story? Cos I can see male on your profile. So tell the lady, since she said she has found the one she desires to settle down with, and they are both getting closer to God(Hope they are no longer doing the do, if they have been doing it before). Then let her go with her pastor to the dad to reassure him of the good intention of her man, and the man should be committed to wait for just 18mnth for her finish her HND and then marriage will take place |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by derindel(m): 9:07pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
efficiencie:
It seems you are already in the mood to do something stupid...you had better repent for your own good! Right now you are in a catch-22 situation. Your father may not supportive of your desire to get married now but you need his blessing to actually get married. Your man on the other hand does not trust that you will eventually get married to him after he supports you through school. He possibly believes you will likely be a very bad investment and that is why he is predicating his further support on the marriage...and from the way you sound, even I will have trouble trusting it seems you are agreeing to marry the man due to the support he has been offering you. I will advise that you genuinely repent of your past ways, seek deliverance, inform your father about the support you have received from your man and how you have no other means of getting finance to further your education, inform elders (including clergy folks) related or known to your father about this development and ask their support, reassure your man of your loyalty to him and plead with him to work with you through this trying time. If he is a good man, he will not let you go because of your father's opposition. let me clarify something: I am not marrying him because of his support for me. When I met him, he was still struggling financially. He loves me genuinely and I love him genuinely. There is nothing to be delivered from I am not possess and for his help, my dad knew about it. I am close to my dad. I have a trade and finally I will rather be honourably married to the man I love than to be a beggar relying on clergy and relatives. |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by derindel(m): 9:23pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
4reala:
Sir, are you telling someone's story? Cos I can see male on your profile. So tell the lady, since she said she has found the one she desires to settle down with, and they are both getting closer to God(Hope they are no longer doing the do, if they have been doing it before). Then let her go with her pastor to the dad to reassure him of the good intention of her man, and the man should be committed to wait for just 18mnth for her finish her HND and then marriage will take place I am a female posting through a friend's account. The HND is not the problem. He desires it more than I do, his business is very formal hence he needs a wife that is educated and presentable. Our desire to get married is based on love and moral ground. We prefer to get married than to continue fonicating. Also I desire to start my family early and on his part he feels he is behind time since he is already 34. My father has refused to see him or anyone, he thinks I am too young to get married. |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by derindel(m): 9:26pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
See 4reala:
Sir, are you telling someone's story? Cos I can see male on your profile. So tell the lady, since she said she has found the one she desires to settle down with, and they are both getting closer to God(Hope they are no longer doing the do, if they have been doing it before). Then let her go with her pastor to the dad to reassure him of the good intention of her man, and the man should be committed to wait for just 18mnth for her finish her HND and then marriage will take place I am a female posting through a friend's account. The HND is not the problem. He desires it more than I do, his business is very formal hence he needs a wife that is educated and presentable. Our desire to get married is based on love and moral ground. We prefer to get married than to continue fonicating. Also I desire to start my family early and on his part he feels he is behind time since he is already 34. My father has refused to see him or anyone, he thinks I am too young to get married. |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by 4reala(m): 10:04pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
derindel:
I am a female posting through a friend's account. The HND is not the problem. He desires it more than I do, his business is very formal hence he needs a wife that is educated and presentable. Our desire to get married is based on love and moral ground. We prefer to get married than to continue fonicating. Also I desire to start my family early and on his part he feels he is behind time since he is already 34. My father has refused to see him or anyone, he thinks I am too young to get married. Is your father not a Christian? Doesn't he go to church? Talk to his pastor 1 Like |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Twirelex: 12:13am On Jul 01, 2021 |
The guy should ManUp and go to the girl's parents place.. They reside in the same state right? |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Twirelex: 12:17am On Jul 01, 2021 |
On the flip side the guy may just want to marry the lady because he feels he is getting old.
Is he a graduate? |
| Re: Before I Do Something Stupid. I Need Advice Desperately!!! by Tohsynetita1: 5:50am On Jul 01, 2021 |
derindel:
See I am a female posting through a friend's account. The HND is not the problem. He desires it more than I do, his business is very formal hence he needs a wife that is educated and presentable. Our desire to get married is based on love and moral ground. We prefer to get married than to continue fonicating. Also I desire to start my family early and on his part he feels he is behind time since he is already 34. My father has refused to see him or anyone, he thinks I am too young to get married. toor 1 Like |
