Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by MrColdsweat: 10:42am On Jul 29, 2021 |
bisqit: where are the virgins? My ex confessed she was a virgin till i stumbled on her erotic chats. It is your fault for believing her without making proper investigation. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by tunjilana: 10:42am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Afodot0022: Hmmm am just speechless with OP experience. Seems like we both are going through the same issues mentioned by you. Infact it looks like your wife is related to my own wife in some certain ways cos she exhibit same trait your wife display. You have said all and a word is enough for the wise. Single guys should open their eyes and pray real hard before settling down with any lady expecially those that were raised by single ladies and those that came out of polygamous home. They are really toxic and unbearable. My wife mom abandone them to their father when they were young and it was their step mom that raised them. The father had many wives and also her mum married multiple husband before she married their father and still left him to marry another again. So you can imagine how messed up their background was. I knew all this when i was still dating her but let me say i was carried away with love or probably lust and didnt make me consider those things. The issue am facing now with my woman, when i maried her, i only did traditional marriage and didnt do any registry. After the traditional, madam show me hell o that i was even looking for a way out cos of peace of mind. Now after some years, my father inlaw just called me recently that we should go and do our registry which is court wedding. He mentioned that he gave me a week to get this done and if i dont have enough funds , he is willing to assist financially. Now my question is with the way my wife has behave in the past, should i still go ahead and do the court wedding now after 5 years we did our traditional. Pls i need answers and advice from matured married men out there cos if left to me, i am not doing any court wedding cos the way i look at it, i dont think our marriage will last with the way my wife had behaved. If its you, will you proceed to do the court marriage. That your father-in-law is giving you ultimatum and even talking about sponsoring the wedding shows something is wrong somewhere. Firstly you need to minimize your availability to your in-law, respect is key. Secondly, carefully evaluate her disposition towards you in those five years, cause nothing will likely change. If you think you can endure, then go ahead else tactically delay. Your peace of mind is central to your ability to be a good father to your kids(if any) 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by crossfire47(m): 10:42am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Munzy14:
That your last statement is deep!..
I av noticed their is a threat of arrogance and pride when some women feel they have achieved financial stability...You will notice this when you date some professional or career ladies.
Yet, there are very comfortable ladies humble, cool and humane..with womanly care...
In all this, you just pray you meet the woman for you...Even in the long run most trusted partners can be influenced by a lot....Friends, what they read, hear or see etc..
When a man is ready to settle, e dey involve prayer o..
If not you may repeat marriage. Na so Bro 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by benji93: 10:42am On Jul 29, 2021 |
You mean you've never told them their father is irresponsible? Do they know him? AutoChick4U: Aeya sorry. Im a single mom but definitely raising my kid in love. Not all single moms bad sha |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by live4ever: 10:43am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Frenzy01: Why does everybody keep advising single men to avoid ladies raised by single mothers
Contact me for your pedigree dog of your choice. Waybill available to any location free of charge You don't need to understand why. Just continue without heeding. You'll soon Understand why. Just that then, it be too late. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cocolacec(m): 10:44am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Mutemenot: I wish my friend could see this thread, his own hell is on this earth; courtesy of wife trained by a single mother... our women are becoming trap, looking for who to catch and, they re after the good men in the society to devour... Only narcissistic women trap empathic mem and vice versa. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by lordally(m): 10:44am On Jul 29, 2021 |
adedayourt:
OP, let me first empathize with you as this must be that very phase of your life you wish not to arrive at.
Exactly what you stated up their is what I go through, but mine is happening while we still dating and we already have a wedding date. Introduction is supposed to be in few weeks from now.
But this lady is raised by partially her mum, partially her dad. She does most of the things you stated up there to the extend that when I step out of the house to buy stuff, she tails me and locks around behind (I have caught her doing this).
Now she has gone to my family to speak a whole lot and currently I am the worst guy on earth before my folks while she walks like an angel. Presently I called off everything with her and cancelling the wedding even though everybody is insisting I cannot take such decision.
I am only glad I am not married to her yet. After calling off the wedding what was her reaction please? |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Ishilove: 10:44am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Rubbiish:
Not in all cases! Sometimes we feel happy losing some people & start regretting why we had to wait that long to lose them. Especially when u see how meaningful your life has become without them. That is true. However in this context, in the privacy of her room she will regret letting her husband go without a fight. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by JustcallmeFavou(f): 10:45am On Jul 29, 2021 |
So sorry about what you went through in your marriage. But what's with the generalization that women raised by single mothers are bad and bitter?
There are men and women who are raised by both parents that are so crazy, irresponsible, and wicked. Whether a man or a woman is raised by a single mother or not. Pray for a partner that is yours, that's what I will always say.
And also, in the dating or courting stage;
1. Check if your partner listens to you when you talk or give them advice.
2. Check if he/she is ready to change or adjust to things or habits about them you don't like, and can you willingly do the same for them as well?
3. Check if they are generous, and supportive towards you no matter how little.
4. Check if there is an iota of the fear of God still left in them.
5. Check if they are promiscuous in nature.
6. Check if they can at least talk to you about like 80% of their personal plans ie if they can't tell you everything yet.
7. Check if when he/she is angry, can you pacify them, or are they revengeful or don't forgive at all.
8. Is he/she so proud or humble, kind, and a nice human?
9. Check if he/she easily apologizes when they wrong you without always trying to play the manipulative card? And can you easily do the same as well when you offend your partner?
10. Check if he/she is mentally, and psychologically mature. Or are they still babies in their early, mid, or late 20's, 30's..... ??
11. Check if he/she is accommodating, and friendly to your friends and family members, or do they have one complaint or another with almost everyone in your life?
12. What are their reactions whenever you extend a kind gesture to your family members or to others? Do they encourage you to do more, or do they frown or complain bitterly?
13. Lastly, go down on your knees and pray to God to reveal the true nature of your partner to you. This way, no matter how he/she wants to pretend to you God sees the unknown, and He will reveal their true nature to you. I believe, if one can easily get answers to the above, then it's a step to know if he/she is who you want to settle down with or not.
May God help us all, amen! 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Ishilove: 10:46am On Jul 29, 2021 |
adedayourt:
OP, let me first empathize with you as this must be that very phase of your life you wish not to arrive at.
Exactly what you stated up their is what I go through, but mine is happening while we still dating and we already have a wedding date. Introduction is supposed to be in few weeks from now.
But this lady is raised by partially her mum, partially her dad. She does most of the things you stated up there to the extend that when I step out of the house to buy stuff, she tails me and locks around behind (I have caught her doing this).
Now she has gone to my family to speak a whole lot and currently I am the worst guy on earth before my folks while she walks like an angel. Presently I called off everything with her and cancelling the wedding even though everybody is insisting I cannot take such decision.
I am only glad I am not married to her yet. How is she handling it? |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Lamasta(m): 10:46am On Jul 29, 2021 |
EndRape2: U are a stupid man, you do not live her, you divource her because of the weak womb, nothing more nothing less,
You are stupid, she should go and thank God you left her, because in marriage we need people that truly love us, and willing to go an extra mile for us , you can not put live aside in marriage , love is the only thing that can make you see strength in your partner's weekends,
It is the weak womb, and abortion that made you see other weaknesses,
A weak womb does not mean she can not give birth, ivf is there , surrogacy is there As long as there is no domestic violence , both partners can sit and resolve issues that comes with marriage, you think divource is a thing to celebrate , you are a mumu ,people praising you here have their own marital challenge , and they are solving it gradually.
Let her dust her self and be happy, that you left, because every woman needs a man that genuinely love her because at old age she will need care and love, not a man that will dump her at old age and follow young girls .
Give me her number let me celebrate with her.
Must you use derogatory comment to pass your message across Speaks volume of your type of person 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Ishilove: 10:47am On Jul 29, 2021 |
lightwind: Looks like you have do ABORTIONS well well? Looks like you didn't pay attention in English class. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nonexisting1: 10:47am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Elsueno:
pls, can we see ur picture? , even if it's just a silhouette..I & my friends want to make sure to stay away from a woman like you She doesn't look so different from this. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by bisqit: 10:48am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Fountainofyouth:
What you think of me is SOLELY your problem, you are just a mere moniker same as everyone else. have heard you ms biglittlelois 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Reelmii: 10:48am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Stupidquestions: One last point....be careful with women with big yansh....cos most times..the yansh dey geh insurance for outside unknowing to the man. wahala no dey finish.... |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by DrayZee: 10:49am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Fountainofyouth:
Dumbness of the century, you keep ranting lack of womb everywhere when Op specifically said she had miscarriage TWICE, are you blind? Or you lack comprehension? Did you see the part where he wanted her to get medical attention but she was blaming it on spiritual problems? 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by BROWNEMMANUEL26: 10:51am On Jul 29, 2021 |
CharisEleos: Twp Captains cannot be in one boat. The problem lies with both of you. She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.
Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage. When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.
The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.
It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.
If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.
No one is perfect. Motivational speaker, easier said than done |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Belafonte(m): 10:52am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Why violence, dear? Fountainofyouth:
Dumbness of the century, you keep ranting lack of womb everywhere when Op specifically said she had miscarriage TWICE, are you blind? Or you lack comprehension? You're not blind but you missed this direct quote from the OP himself? Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life. The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion.... https://www.nairaland.com/6673069/marriage-finally-crashed#104176980 |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:53am On Jul 29, 2021 |
DrayZee:
Did you see the part where he wanted her to get medical attention but she was blaming it on spiritual problems? So how does that equate to not having a womb? 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 10:53am On Jul 29, 2021 |
that's what happens when you're deceived by beauty. You probably left a better woman to meet the daughter of Wrath. You're lucky to escape alive. Tomorrow she will enter social media to say she left due to "irreconcilable differences" and what not. Stop marrying mannerless beauty una no go hear. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:55am On Jul 29, 2021 |
2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 10:55am On Jul 29, 2021 |
bisqit: where are the virgins? My ex confessed she was a virgin till i stumbled on her erotic chats. see mu.mu o. So because someone is hor.ny then she's not a virgin. Did you enter "the place" only to discover that someone has been there before you? What's your obsession with the V card 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by crossfire47(m): 10:56am On Jul 29, 2021 |
lordally:
My friend's elder brother left a Cool headed and respectful business woman he was dating saying he needs to marry a professional by the way , he's a doctor working at UCTH he ended up marrying a Doctor too! That is one of the greatest mistake he made in his life and he's deeply regretting it. The woman does nothing in the house! Even to cook na Wahala to even sweep na Wahala, plates go dey sink for 2 days. The woman's mum came for Omugwo and does absolutely nothing in the house. In the morning the wife go carry phone dey press the mama go dey follow the wife gist na this man go wake up to go cook. The wife has no atom of respect for the man! The man's mum too came for Omugwo this woman doesn't even care if she eats or not. But the woman would bath the baby , cook etc. Make I just stop here. See bro take your eyes away from Profession. Doctor , lawyer engineer , SSCE holder all na bullshit! You're not marrying the profession na the woman you dey marry! See let me tell you , a stack illiterate and a PHD holder all give the same wahala! Just go for one that gives peace of mind and sees her Helping you all round as her responsibility. Words! 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Belafonte(m): 10:56am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Fountainofyouth:
I believe you are educated, is a weak womb, a lack of womb?
Okay sorry, a lack of a functional womb |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by tunjilana: 10:57am On Jul 29, 2021 |
skoroko: As a responsible man you have to hold on to the ancient belief that everything a woman needs under your roof is your responsibility. Note this and no woman will override your position. If you get into another marriage with the feminist oriented woman the situation may be worst that the first... My opinion though.... In those ancient times, the woman and everything she owned equally belonged to the husband. Some are reinforced with strong juju that makes it even hard for the woman to give out her own money to an outsider without the man's consent, talk less of cheat on him or disrespect him or disobey his orders. You have to realise that we no longer have the ancient way...And all the checks and balances used to balance the equation no longer exist. If women have adapted and you are still stuck to old ways, u will be setting up yourself to be used and manipulated 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by DrayZee: 10:57am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Fountainofyouth:
So how does that equate to not having a womb? I wasn’t attempting to counter. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cescky(m): 10:57am On Jul 29, 2021 |
Rozcol: Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not here to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww You could easily have made your points.. But you had to show how uncouth and local you are 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:58am On Jul 29, 2021 |
bisqit: have heard you ms biglittlelois I am also pocohantas, cococandy, mariahangel, Hathor5, ishilove, and so many others, has your shocking revelation made you increase in height and age? 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Aksnoopy: 10:59am On Jul 29, 2021 |
[s] Fountainofyouth: @Pecoleee345 you are the cause of your problem not your wife, your wife is never at fault
1) You admitted you were carried away by beauty and whatsapp status instead of doing due dilligence
2) You did not table out how financial responsibilities would be shared before marrying her, if you did, you would have simply bounced out if you are not cool with taking full responsibility, you cannot force your mentality you feel is right, on another person who feels her own mentality is also right,
3) You admitted she told your family members and hers lies and truth, so why didn't you tell us the truths that is your fault? Why did you instead choose to tell us only her faults?
4) You said your family also joined in castigating you for all she said, even the lies, that means you were also castigated on her truth of your own faults, why didn't you clear the air and also tell them about the weak womb if you were that innocent as you opined?
5) There are so many reasons why she keeps having miscarriage, as much as having an abortion may be one of them, that doesn't mean she can't give birth, so many women have had abortion and they have kids today, also, women who have never had any still have issues of childbirth today. Now the case of your wife can easily be solved if you would have simply Google search what causes pregnancy incompetence and how it can be solved, then you can go to a good and reputable OB/GYN for consultation, you shouldn't just pack up and give up just because you were told she has a weak womb, except you were looking for a good reason to divorce her.
*first pics below are causes of cervix incompetence, 2nd pics is a common and successful solution to solving the issue, yours may even be rhesus factor if thorough tests was actually done for her.
And lastly, the nonsensical notion of avoiding single mothers or their daughters has got to be the most foolish rant coming from nairaland dings, should we also say men brought up from single mothers should be avoided like plagues? What of ladies raised by their dads? They are also damaged? So many idiots on here capitalising on this stupid notion comes from stable background but are very damaged, bitter, and thoroughly mentally ill, should we now say children from stable background should be ignored too? Let's kuku not date or marry anyone na since there is a high probability of meeting damaged people from every home, abi we should only date stone? Idiots, see how all the resident nl manboys have already capitalise on the single mothers ish forgetting same mumu Op already said not all of them are like that, na so una blind reach, to the extent that one said he would break up with his gf of a single mother, they prefer to follow bandwagon instead of using their brain to think, very daft set of people. [/s] You actually found a way to lay all the blame on the guy alone and then never said anything about the lady. I pity the man that's dating or married to you that's if you have a husband. Nigeria today is filled with lots of useless and stvpid ladies, only a tiny number are reasonable. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 10:59am On Jul 29, 2021 |
lordally:
My friend's elder brother left a Cool headed and respectful business woman he was dating saying he needs to marry a professional by the way , he's a doctor working at UCTH he ended up marrying a Doctor too! That is one of the greatest mistake he made in his life and he's deeply regretting it. The woman does nothing in the house! Even to cook na Wahala to even sweep na Wahala, plates go dey sink for 2 days. The woman's mum came for Omugwo and does absolutely nothing in the house. In the morning the wife go carry phone dey press the mama go dey follow the wife gist na this man go wake up to go cook. The wife has no atom of respect for the man! The man's mum too came for Omugwo this woman doesn't even care if she eats or not. But the woman would bath the baby , cook etc. Make I just stop here. See bro take your eyes away from Profession. Doctor , lawyer engineer , SSCE holder all na bullshit! You're not marrying the profession na the woman you dey marry! See let me tell you , a stack illiterate and a PHD holder all give the same wahala! Just go for one that gives peace of mind and sees her Helping you all round as her responsibility. serves him right! All these greedy men that want to eat their cake and have it. You want a top professional who has battled her way to the top in the world of men to come serve you dinner on her knees! I've said it, 99% of career oriented women are very stubborn, they won't submit. Your best bet, marry someone with ssce, or bsc. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by mechanics(m): 10:59am On Jul 29, 2021 |
donbachi: No perfect woman.but,make we no meet the ones wey go kill us. That's right |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by ursullalinda(f): 11:00am On Jul 29, 2021 |
TarOrfeeek:
Whether she exhibit.
Whether she nor exhibit
I no like wahala.
Buhari hardship is enough for one person. Don't loose something beautiful out of panic.... study your own and access yourself.......there where so many things the society thought is wrong when I met my husband .......but I studied him and married him and that is my best life decision.......don't follow stereotypes and may God guide u. 1 Like 2 Shares |