There was once a woman who was born in a village. Her parents, whom where full time farmers were able to train her till secondary level, after that, she joined her parents fully in the subsistence farming business.

The level of lack didnt stop her parents from procreating though, they kept on having kids they could not clearly take good care of.

She left her village, went to the nearest town and got married. She started having kids and her husband further her education and she became a qualified teacher. As the salary was coming in, she remembered her siblings whom were not having the best care under her parents.

She went back to the village and picked them one after the other, trained them in school, fed them and took care of them like her own children. Obviously, with the extra people to feed aside her children, her salary was not going to be enough. She had to go into farming to augment.

Many years later, these woman siblings are now doing well for themselves. The last one of them is a civil servant in active service but would retire in few years time.

The point is, imagine if this woman didn't care for her siblings. By now, some if not all of them would be in the village, tilling the ground even at old age.

Family, friends and neighbors should do their best to uplift one another where necessary, it's not even about money alone.

Nobody should have this mindset of, I owe nobody nothing. Nobody should expect other people to be fully responsible for them either.

Hmmm

Making sense

Hmmmmm....


Actually, your story doesnt depict the true "nobody owes you anything" story. She had help her siblings, the law of restitution requires her siblings pay it back. There was an exchange there. Naturally, we humans love to pay back a good deed, it's cycle of life.

This is quite different from siblingA/person expecting siblingB/another person to help him/her just because they are siblings/friends/wateva. There isn't an exchange there...the only time sibling can feel like he/she is owed is if he had given in the past and need now but B isn't willing to give back. Otherwise,both siblings should deal with each other with their church mind not some entitled mindset.

Now there is an exception, those that owe you something are those you entered a contract with to do so or nature made that contract for you. Eg, Parents owe their children until adulthood some basic needs, spouses owe each other those things they vowed to give each other when signing their marriage, employees owe employers all those terms of agreement, etc. Biko no one owes you nothing bro, expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised.

sisisioge:
Hmmmmm....


Actually, your story doesnt depict the true "nobody owes you anything" story. She had help her siblings, the law of restitution requires her siblings pay it back. There was an exchange there. Naturally, we humans love to pay back a good deed, it's cycle of life.


This is quite different from siblingA/person expecting siblingB/another person to help him/her just because they are siblings/friends/wateva. There isn't an exchange there...the only time sibling can feel like he/she is owed is if he had given in the past and need now but B isn't willing to give back. Otherwise,both siblings should deal with each other with their church mind not some entitled mindset.

Now there is an exception, those that owe you something are those you entered a contract with to do so or nature made that contract for you. Eg, Parents owe their children until adulthood some basic needs, spouses owe each other those things they vowed to give each other when signing their marriage, employees owe employers all those terms of agreement, etc. Biko no one owes you nothing bro, expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised.

There was no exchange anywhere. She helped her siblings irregardless of anything.

The main reason she did that was because she knew she owed her sibling because she was already having a good life without them even asking.

Try to read the post without the mindset of making a counter point. My last paragraph did justice to your worry.

Karleb:


There was no exchange anywhere. She helped her siblings irregardless of anything.

The main reason she did that was because she knew she owed her sibling because she was already having a good life without them even asking.

Try to read the post without the mindset of making a counter point. My last paragraph did justice to your worry.

Ok then, you are right. Enjoy your weekend.

Klass99:


You make me laugh I swear, you no just like online drama of any kind.

Howwefordo? Oga no gree understand me and this argument isn't even mine to start with. How I go come carry mat begin type retaliations after my already lengthy post? I learnt to choose my battles a gazillion years ago fa

@OP

You're correct. The disgusting statement/mentality is a major hallmark of hypocritically prejudicial and self-absorbing people - the wannabe woke and wannabe civil people. People who're too small-minded to understand that free will doesn't negate thoughtfulness; and that there is a difference between expectation and a sense of entitlement. There's a thin line between liberty and indecorousness; unfortunately, these hypocritically prejudicial elements promote the latter knowingly or unknowingly.

Servility is what no sane person owes another - in other words, every sane person owes another/others goodness/decorousness and should be prepared to pay the price of evil/war whenever they fail to do the needful.

Lol. Nobody still owes you anything. Anything you receive from anybody is a gift/charity.

Untrue and the story does not apply. She sowed and reaped where she did. That is quite different from the popular saying 'no one owes you anything'. The saying became quite popular and gained more recognition after social media beggars evolved and developed a sense of entitlement towards people they sense have the means to help them but failed to.

But how does it apply to families?

Take out the 'one good turn factor' and expect a nephew look up to you and even bug your life like it is his right to get whatever from you. Between siblings, you are only entitled to feel you are owed if you only you have been kind and helped in the past, other than that, you're joker if you think a sibling owes you just because you both came from the same portal.

The idea behind the statement generally is to force people to wake up from their horrible sense of entitlement, be it on social media or within one's family. Growing up, I used to classify some uncles as stingy and some as Sinzu money who would even ask me to make a list of stuff I needed for secondary school and they would get them, all the way down to text books and pens. It wasn't so long until I realised that whatever I got from them were things they felt like doing.

Again, your story does not apply. If you have a sibling you periodically bug for favours and believe they owe you because you share the same blood, perhaps it is time to tell yourself to smell the early morning coffee. No one owes you Jack, particularly if you have not done anything deserving.

@Klass99

Firstly, the quote is wrong. The fact that it was made by someone popular doesn't make it right.

Success at anything in life depends on some many people.

Dangote's younger brother has a higher chance of purchasing a Bugatti latest vehicle compared to a child of a farmer in Arochukwu.

Did you know a biologist was once sent to prison, her crime was she altered so many forensic data to favour the plaintiff in USA?

I can go on and on on this.

Of course, she didn't birth them and she could have looked away but that would make her a very bad person. Fine, maybe she "did pass herself" but a responsible adult would help her siblings in need as long as the siblings are not feeling entitled.

Sanchez01:
Untrue and the story does not apply. She sowed and reaped where she did. That is quite different from the popular saying 'no one owes you anything'. The saying became quite popular and gained more recognition after social media beggars evolved and developed a sense of entitlement towards people they sense have the means to help them but failed to.

But how does it apply to families?

Take out the 'one good turn factor' and expect a nephew look up to you and even bug your life like it is his right to get whatever from you. Between siblings, you are only entitled to feel you are owed if you only you have been kind and helped in the past, other than that, you're joker if you think a sibling owes you just because you both came from the same portal.

The idea behind the statement generally is to force people to wake up from their horrible sense of entitlement, be it on social media or within one's family. Growing up, I used to classify some uncles as stingy and some as Sinzu money who would even ask me to make a list of stuff I needed for secondary school and they would get them, all the way down to text books and pens. It wasn't so long until I realised that whatever I got from them were things they felt like doing.

Again, your story does not apply. If you have a sibling you periodically bug for favours and believe they owe you because you share the same blood, perhaps it is time to tell yourself to smell the early morning coffee. No one owes you Jack, particularly if you have not done anything deserving.

She never got 1/100 of what she did in return, either in cash or in kind.

She did it out of freewill/goodwill.

I made the analogy between siblings because I hate it when people say your brother or sister doesn't owe you anything. The distance between uncle, aunt, niece and nephew is a bit far but siblings are blood!

I have younger siblings, and I know I owe them something. I can't take care of them, they have parents that have been doing that since they were born but there are something I know I could do in their life that will help a lot and when the time comes, I'm never gonna say I don't owe them anything. That would make me a bad elder brother.

Imagine if Obi Cubana fails to help his sibling with N1m, knowing fully well he needs it dearly, he comes to NL to rant and people tell him frankly that Cubana owes him nothing, also on Twitter, there are a set of people telling Cubana he hasn't done anything wrong as he owes his sibling nothing.

That's what I hate. Everybody owes every other person something, so long the other fellow is not entitled and giving wouldn't hurt the giver. It doesn't always have to be money. There are a lot to be given.

Klass99:


You completely misunderstood Onyeka's point, which is understandable because people perceive things differently.

Sincerely, I would love that you explain to me how I misunderstood her.


According to my experience, especially as a Nigerian. Success is hugely dependent on other people.

Karleb:


She never got 1/100 of what she did in return, either in cash or in kind.

She did it out of freewill/goodwill.

I made the analogy between siblings because I hate it when people say your brother or sister doesn't owe you anything. The distance between uncle, aunt, niece and nephew is a bit far but siblings are blood!

I have younger siblings, and I know I owe them something. I can't take care of them, they have parents that have been doing that since they were born but there are something I know I could do in their life that will help a lot and when the time comes, I'm never gonna say I don't owe them anything. That would make me a bad elder brother.

Imagine if Obi Cubana fails to help his sibling with N1m, knowing fully well he needs it dearly, he comes to NL to rant and people tell him frankly that Cubana owes him nothing, also on Twitter, there are a set of people telling Cubana he hasn't done anything wrong as he owes his sibling nothing.

That's what I hate. Everybody owes every other person something, so long the other fellow is not entitled and giving wouldn't hurt the giver. It doesn't always have to be money. There are a lot to be given.

Understand this; there is no free meal anywhere. I don't want to sound condescending and apologies if it seems so but I would like to believe you haven't really seen much of life. I also believe you are lumping the idea of assisting a sibling with you OWING a sibling. You can assist them in reaching their goals faster, doesn't mean that you necessarily owe them that, most especially if they are adults and capable of making their own decisions. I hate when people get entitled and I do with every fibre of my being.

If you think blood makes you entitled to getting help from a sibling, then it obvious you haven't really seen life up close. There is a Yoruba adage that says 'Alagemo ti bimo re tan, aimojo di owo e (omo)' (transliterated as 'the chameleon has birthed all its offspring, it is now up to the offspring to learn how to dance'.

I don't have an issue with a someone who chooses to help his or siblings but know this, we could argue this from now till tomorrow but it doesn't change the fact that NO ONE OWES YOU. You were given birth to the same way he or she was. If blood ties is the excuse you have for developing a sense of entitlement, then go and 'horsu' (in Bobrisky's voice). The horrible over reliant family system we practice in this part of the world has made a lot of us lazy, both physically and mentally.

I guess this makes sense but maybe the statement has been abused online and honestly, there are people who have used that mantra to be irresponsible.

Sometimes here, a guy complained of how his big brother who is doing okay neglected his siblings even let his own mother die of a curable/maintainable ailment but ended up throwing a lavish party for the burial, do you want to know what happened next? Nairalanders started saying the brother owe them nothing. At that point, I felt like killing somebody , I was really really angry.

I used to be in a situation where I look up to people but now, younger ones are gradually looking up to me and I know my obligations to them. Maybe saying I owe them sound somehow but I know what I must do.

Karleb:

The point is, imagine if this woman didn't care for her siblings. By now, some if not all of them would be in the village, tilling the ground even at old age.

Family, friends and neighbors should do their best to uplift one another where necessary, it's not even about money alone.

Nobody should have this mindset of, I owe nobody nothing. Nobody should expect other people to be fully responsible for them either.

That's because they all share similar Philosophies as hers .... some would just waste your money, go diabolical and still blame you for their misfortune......

Once we don't share similar Philosophies, I'm out of your ears and eyes and nose !

Karleb:
I guess this makes sense but maybe the statement has been abused online and honestly, there are people who have used that mantra to be irresponsible.

Sometimes here, a guy complained of how his big brother who is doing okay neglected his siblings even let his own mother die of a curable/maintainable ailment but ended up throwing a lavish party for the burial, do you want to know what happened next? Nairalanders started saying the brother owe them nothing. At that point, I felt like killing somebody , I was really really angry.

I used to be in a situation where I look up to people but now, younger ones are gradually looking up to me and I know my obligations to them. Maybe saying I owe them sound somehow but I know what I must do.

In the realistic sense, the brother owed them nothing. Everyone is responsible for their outcomes in life. Nobody owes you anything

Gladly carry the cross first and come back years later to tell us the experience. When you meet those siblings who want to make you their working horse, you will know better.
Just pray you don't have unappreciating siblings who feel so entitled to your toils/hardwork and you owe me ish....added to your own obligations eg children, community etc
What they are telling you is the pressure and stress is not a joke. You should give out of goodness/goodwill/freewill not because you owe anyone anything.

There is no free meal in life.

Karleb:
I guess this makes sense but maybe the statement has been abused online and honestly, there are people who have used that mantra to be irresponsible.

Sometimes here, a guy complained of how his big brother who is doing okay neglected his siblings even let his own mother die of a curable/maintainable ailment but ended up throwing a lavish party for the burial, do you want to know what happened next? Nairalanders started saying the brother owe them nothing. At that point, I felt like killing somebody , I was really really angry.

I used to be in a situation where I look up to people but now, younger ones are gradually looking up to me and I know my obligations to them. Maybe saying I owe them sound somehow but I know what I must do.

Karleb:


There was no exchange anywhere. She helped her siblings irregardless of anything.

The main reason she did that was because she knew she owed her sibling because she was already having a good life without them even asking.

Try to read the post without the mindset of making a counter point. My last paragraph did justice to your worry.

She didn't owe her siblings. The people that owed them, who brought them into the world were busy having children they couldn't care for.

She just did it what she could to lift them up.

Well this was quite possible years ago. It's suicide to try that now especially with the kind of rubbish wages available in Nigeria.

tensazangetsu20:
Well this was quite possible years ago. It's suicide to try that now especially with the kind of rubbish wages available in Nigeria.

That's true.

My late grandmother is the woman in question. The youngest of her siblings is now at least 50.

You are using the word owe wrongly, if I lend you money, you owe me and I’m fully entitled to what you owe me. Owing and entitlement goes hand in hand.

Your grandmother is a good woman but that doesn’t me she owed them, she did what she did because she wanted to do it, she did not have to. Nobody would compel her if she didn’t do it.

To your example about Obi Cubana, let’s assume he sent the brother abroad to study, the brother was caught sniffing coke and got deported, he got a job for the brother, the brother wouldn’t show up so he got fired. He then put his brother on 150k allowance per month but that wouldn’t maintain bro’s lifestyle, bro wouldn’t get a job. After two years of collecting allowance bro comes with a plan, goes to Obi and says he needs #5m to execute his idea, but Obi knows bro is a black hole, the money will disappear so Obi says a resounding NO. Bro comes to nairaland to cry that his wealthy brother wouldn’t give him #5m for his idea, people tell bro you are 33 years old Obi doesn’t owe you anything, then you, from nowhere start getting angry.

Most entitled people only speak out when the giving stop, they don’t recount how much they have collected. So my question to you is when does owing you sibling stop? or is it forever? You have to budget a cut of your pay to give the sibling who got the same education and opportunity you got but who has chosen to be useless.

Karleb:
There was once a woman who was born in a village. Her parents, whom where full time farmers were able to train her till secondary level, after that, she joined her parents fully in the subsistence farming business.

The level of lack didnt stop her parents from procreating though, they kept on having kids they could not clearly take good care of.

She left her village, went to the nearest town and got married. She started having kids and her husband further her education and she became a qualified teacher. As the salary was coming in, she remembered her siblings whom were not having the best care under her parents.

She went back to the village and picked them one after the other, trained them in school, fed them and took care of them like her own children. Obviously, with the extra people to feed aside her children, her salary was not going to be enough. She had to go into farming to augment.

Many years later, these woman siblings are now doing well for themselves. The last one of them is a civil servant in active service but would retire in few years time.

The point is, imagine if this woman didn't care for her siblings. By now, some if not all of them would be in the village, tilling the ground even at old age.

Family, friends and neighbors should do their best to uplift one another where necessary, it's not even about money alone.

Nobody should have this mindset of, I owe nobody nothing. Nobody should expect other people to be fully responsible for them either.

hmmm. I preach that no one owes you anything not because it is true. but because it would at least unshackle people from living in expectations that usually end in disappointment.

If anyone owes anybody anything in life, it is the parent of a child.
I am of the personal opinion that every parent owe their children anything and everything they can afford to give even if the child is 100 years old. as long as the parent are alive and that child needs help, and they can afford the help, it must be a duty to help that child.

I also think it should be a crime for people to give birth to children they cannot provide basics of living for them, so at least the children can grow up with some dignity. It is wickedness to have children you cannot feed, for example. It should be one of the strictest laws in the world. The world is in a mess today because there are too many children that cannot be properly catered for. We don't need 7 billion people on earth if they cannot be accounted for by the people that brought them here. I personally dont see why i must leave an offspring, we are competing to leave a legacy. What legacy? Having children means nothing if they cannot be provided a good life.

Let every young man and woman know this and make proper adjustments now that they are young. Don't go and give birth to children expecting them to make money to take care of you when you did not care for them as children. They owe you nothing and you owe them everything.

Sorry for my long comment. I just needed to say this to every potential parent

Aside from my kid and wife, i owe nobody nothing!. i can say that with double assurance.

HardMirror:
hmmm. I preach that no one owes you anything not because it is true. but because it would at least unshackle people from living in expectations that usually end in disappointment.

If anyone owes anybody anything in life, it is the parent of a child.
I am of the personal opinion that every parent owe their children anything and everything they can afford to give even if the child is 100 years old. as long as the parent are alive and that child needs help, and they can afford the help, it must be a duty to help that child.

I also think it should be a crime for people to give birth to children they cannot provide basics of living for them, so at least the children can grow up with some dignity. It is wickedness to have children you cannot feed, for example. It should be one of the strictest laws in the world. The world is in a mess today because there are too many children that cannot be properly catered for. We don't need 7 billion people on earth if they cannot be accounted for by the people that brought them here. I personally dont see why i must leave an offspring, we are competing to leave a legacy. What legacy? Having children means nothing if they cannot be provided a good life.


Let every young man and woman know this and make proper adjustments now that they are young. Don't go and give birth to children expecting them to make money to take care of you when you did not care for them as children. They owe you nothing and you owe them everything.

Sorry for my long comment. I just needed to say this to every potential parent

I echo your sentiment 100%. You are a wise man. A lot of African parents use blackmail and intimidation on their kids. I let people around me know that i am not responsible for them.