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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Critique These: My Sonnets (1081 Views)
Sonnets From The Portuguese XLIII / A Critique Of Poems Featured In Nairaland's "The Poets" Competition Season 2 (2) / Pls Critique This Poem (2) (3) (4)
Critique These: My Sonnets by Basic(m): 10:34am On Jul 19, 2007 |
MY SONNETS SHAME ON THE STARS I once beheld the sky one starry night And saw the stars continuous as the sky, For most, or all of them did came to sight And so adorned with lights the space up high In spite of this the earth was clad in gloom, Likle as the inside of a coastal cave Then curious thoughts arose in me like plume. And made me from myself the reason crave. I then discerned the moon did not emerge But couldn't the stars coalesce and light the earth Despite that they abound in space at large? So useless they're we ne'er perceive their dearth! The moon alone on what's a starless night, Shames a zillion stars on a moonless night. CONSCIENCE My fleeing self, conscience apprehended And then gripped my mind like as a sword's hilt With pictures I'm shown, I'm being reminded By him of all I'd done of acts of guilt. I escaped the men of truncheons and guns And shamed the probing tentacles of law. But this unseen cop caught me on the run And melancholy, I'm being fed with, raw. His captive I'll remain till my last day For none but death could help rid him of me. E'en though Heaven had forgiven me, nay! This cop won't leave, but wait, my end to see. A cop more effective there had ne'er been Than this one, wielding no weapon, unseen. TO MY LOVE Oh! How shall I describe our first meeting? It was like that between death and a soul. Then came thy love to my heart (then waiting) Naturally as leaves to a tree's bole. My heart and thine are now but Siamese twins And our love keeps waxing like the new moon. Stuck to thee my mind hath always been since I ne'er thought love could come my way so soon. Please let us water our love, oh my love For it is still but a tender seedling, Which if nurtured becomes that none can move But if not, dies of lack after wilting. May this wax stronger till our hairs go grey And so last as long as our lives, I pray. STIFF-NECKED FOOLS Many could enter man's oral or'fice: From birds and beasts, his source of milk and meat, To verdant plants, his fruits and herbs sources. But some chose none save clouds of smoke to eat. They'd turned their lungs to bio-chimney pots And stick to th' act like paper does to glue. And when urged to stop blackening their own guts, They stiffen their necks in pride like turkeys do. Know them not that they, by their own hands are Gradually multiplying the number Of holes punched in that standing barrier Shielding them from death, (who's ever in hunger)? Reflect now and love thy life more dearly For thou art digging thy grave so early. |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by RuuDie(m): 2:09pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
man . . . i just love your word-play! your cipher's real deep bro but you just make it so easy for the "lay-eye" to dig . . . you're tha man! |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by iice(f): 3:25pm On Jul 20, 2007 |
Love them especially the first one. . .brings back memories (i used to sit on this rock at night and stare @ the heavens ) |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by RuuDie(m): 8:51am On Jul 21, 2007 |
@iicey, D more i read of u, d more IICIER u seem. . . Lol |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by iice(f): 9:14am On Jul 21, 2007 |
Really? Thought i'd seem warmer |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by RuuDie(m): 5:02pm On Jul 21, 2007 |
@iicey, yeah, that 2. . . And more like evry brodaz dream dame 2! U use specs/glasses? |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by iice(f): 5:30am On Jul 23, 2007 |
Ahahahaha i surely hope not. . .not for those of faint hearts and weaker brains Yeah i do. . . |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by RuuDie(m): 1:13pm On Jul 23, 2007 |
iice: even the faint hearted and weak brains have a right to dream iice: guessed as much. . . got a picture of u in my head! |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by iice(f): 1:21pm On Jul 23, 2007 |
RuuDie: Very true RuuDie: Aha! you think? Maybe we should take this to your own thread lol |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by RuuDie(m): 2:19pm On Jul 24, 2007 |
Lol ok. . . Read d nxt post there. lol |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by Basic(m): 6:19pm On Jul 28, 2007 |
Critique my sonnets is what I say. I didn't open this thread for all these trash you people are talking! |
Re: Critique These: My Sonnets by Basic(m): 7:50pm On Aug 03, 2007 |
Please check them out and tell me which you like best.Also criticise. |
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Chronicles Of An Only Son / Blindful Love ! / Poem For My Internet Wife
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