frozen70:

Irrespective of your thinking towards parents, it depends on your relationship with your parents

The way you relate with your parents seems different from the regular way

Don't spoil others mind

I am not talking here of how one relates to a parent at all. I am speaking of parents as as source of wisdom on issues. A good portion of Nigerian parents are not the best source of advise whatsoever. The Nigerian community and country holds up a mirror to the minds of its citizens and what it reveals is the level of wisdom as far as the average individual.

Two mother doesn't gave birth to person, she is your mother. God let good mother give birth to me is a late prayer, she is your mother. Since you said you are close with her open up to her what she doing that you hate and get close to your father as well to mend the fatherly relationship. I hope your mother had painted him bad to you

AdviseMePls:


Someone should talk to me. My mum has been giving me mental troubles. Most especially when this goes sore for me. She has always been doing that.
And as a man, I deserve no stress.

I noticed, whenever I have, my family always want to be close to me. When I go broke, they'll dump me.

They want to have control all over my life and I'm not yet married. Now u think things will get worse for me when I get married.

Right now, I'm homeless, I lost everything. I'm planning so hard to fix up myself. But my family are making it difficult. My mum especially, whenever she calls me. I don't get the mothering advice I want from her. All she does is nag and complain over me not calling her.

The worst thing she did to me, when I was in the hospital dying, she and everyone left me. My mum visited and felt so reluctant about me. She was not moved. I couldn't pay my hospital bills to receive the right treatment. My friend have to borrow from his sis for me to be treated. She was not moved. Only a friend of mine who I'm squatting with now. Everyone dumped me. When I got back to my feet and visited. They started feeling entitled again. They started billing me here and there. I feel pain because I was just trying to stand up again.

My dad and I have never been friends right from time. When I visited his last two months and notice he's been passing through a lot that I never notice from time. I tried to embrace him and showed him some love. I observed my mum was pained about this. She has been irritated by my goods towards my dad.

I'm a man, I know she's my mum. I can't allow women to control my life. I feel I own my life as a man. She always wants me to take all her advice which I know not all the advice will help me.

I feel bittered.

The statements in bold insinuates that you are not as blameless in this brouhaha as you paint here.

If you can type them here, then I wonder the kind of vibes you have been giving your mother which she is also reacting to. Imagine having a son/daughter who thinks you are not qualified to correct or parent them because of your sex or achievement or whatever.

As a man, you don't like stress; were you told somewhere that women love stress?

Most parents like their kids to take all their advise which is naturally unrealistic or would not be correct due to generational gap or lack of exposure.

The few that you took that worked out well for us, did you thank/acknowledge her? What I see is a constant overt and covert disrespect for your mother yet you expect her to treat you well. (I am not saying your mother doesn't have her own short comings).

However you decide to maintain the relationship with your folks is up to you; just change your mindset towards women or don't marry else you will have same problems with your wife and complain 'all women are bad.'

Goodluck.

Family members that are bad can be a major downfall to anyone. Because you will keep feeling you owe them something as family, but they will keep letting you down with their entitlement attitude.

Please keep your distance from them and allow only minimum contact. With the way it's going, the woman you will marry is in trouble already.

bukatyne:


The statements in bold insinuates that you are not as blameless in this brouhaha as you paint here.

If you can type them here, then I wonder the kind of vibes you have been giving your mother which she is also reacting to. Imagine having a son/daughter who thinks you are not qualified to correct or parent them because of your sex or achievement or whatever.

As a man, you don't like stress; were you told somewhere that women love stress?

Most parents like their kids to take all their advise which is naturally unrealistic or would not be correct due to generational gap or lack of exposure.

The few that you took that worked out well for us, did you thank/acknowledge her? What I see is a constant overt and covert disrespect for your mother yet you expect her to treat you well. (I am not saying your mother doesn't have her own short comings).

However you decide to maintain the relationship with your folks is up to you; just change your mindset towards women or don't marry else you will have same problems with your wife and complain 'all women are bad.'

Goodluck.

You are very emotional and subjective, you do not realise that there are toxic parents.
And yes a man/woman has to learn to take responsibilities for themselves once they are of age.
The OP may not have written it in a way that you find appealing but if you look deeply at what he has written he is not someone that is bad, his family seem to have taken advantage of him severally and abused his trust.

Again, I would not expect you to fully understand if this is something you have not dealt with before. You would think the OP was exagerrating so I can understand why you are not on the same page with the OP.

Kobojunkie:
According to whom? Let me guess, your parents?

So many out in Nigeria would have benefitted a great deal from not listening to their parents.. it's the truth. Parents aren't as wise as many try to believe them to be. No , wisdom belongs to those who work at it and most Nigerian parents don't.

Wisdom does not even belong to the Old either. If the world in the west had listened to the Old, imagine where the world would still be today.

You should stop wasting your energy trying to advise people, most Nigerians youths do not have the mental capacity for objective reasoning.
They are too deep in cultural and religious subjectivity so it is usually impossible for them to engage their analytical mind.

Not all parents are good, infact with the evidence of what we see in Nigeria, majority of Nigerian parents are corrupt, greedy, unfaithful, shortsighted people.
When you go to the ministries and the other places in Nigeria, are the people misbehaving not parents ?

Many people have been misled by following their parents and a lot of parents have ruined their childrens marriage cos they cannot bear to let the spouse have them to themselves alone.