Because your in-laws moved into your husband's uncompleted house, that's why you think they are about taking your husband's property?

You really don't know how hard things are becoming in this country everyday.

TheeDetective:
@Op;

Is this not your husband who also brought this matter to NL BELOW?

Let me turn the story around; if it was your parents who moved into the house you and your husband were building would you be fighting this hard to get them out?

https://www.nairaland.com/6784538/parents-move-ongoing-new-house

What are you saying

The parents have are their life and wants to eat the life of their children and grandchildren too

So if it's you, you will do that to your children abi


Haba

franklingud:
Because your in-laws moved into your husband's uncompleted house, that's why you think they are about taking your husband's property?

You really don't know how hard things are becoming in this country everyday.

Deleted.

Acidosis:


You're m a d. You and others trying to shift blames and make the OP feel bad.

If you people lack self-respect or live with people who don't understand the meaning of self respect, then that's y'all personal problems.

Not everyone will throw common sense and reasoning to the wind at the mention of "parents".

Oga I didn't abuse you nor insult you.

Don't start what you can't finish.

franklingud:

Oga I didn't abuse you nor insult you.

Don't start what you can't finish.

.

Emotions will be at play from the both corners

franklingud:
Because your in-laws moved into your husband's uncompleted house, that's why you think they are about taking your husband's property?

You really don't know how hard things are becoming in this country everyday.

Insulting you isn't the best but I doubt you read the part where the parents were given money to rent another apartment yet they went ahead to move in to the uncompleted house their son is building.

To be honest with you, if I were in their shoes, I will rent a new apartment for them and let them leave my house.

No emotions here.

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

You must be wary of what you speak, think or do. The spiritual laws are not bound by earthly arrogance or deceit .

You must stand aloft from this issue lest you heap heavy karma on yourself and your hubby were he to follow up manipulative behaviour in this madam.

But alas seeing the post he made after yours has told me you succeeded in pushing him to act so carelessly.

Now let me be clear , you have spun a truly severe thread of faith and karma for yourself which you must redeem.

Here or in the afterlife. Material things are of no consequence but you have allowed your obssession with social strata and seeking perceived class status to harden you and make you unempathetic hence closed off to your spirit guide for you would never have followed this though process the dark ones have led you down.

Unfortunately to the spiritual laws ignorance is not an excuse.

You have unleashed a new thread of fate for yourself and all whom you manipulated with this sort of thought processes. The karma will remind you why you are here, brace yourself.

I wish you strength for what is to come.

Cheers

OP,
I actually saw your husbands post first, but choose to reply you as you are likely the person who has an issue with this.

First, in Africa, our extended family is real. Our parents went through hell to raise us. So you will not see us arguing about our parents expecting us to support them in old age. Many of our parents have no formal career with pensions. Some of them were mere artisan, they worked with all their strength and invested all the had in us. So yes, we are their pensions and are very happy and proud to be such.

So, If you are bringing the western concept that you owe your parents nothing to Africa because they too had parents and blah blah blah, the simple truth is you will have problems even with your own children in future.

Beyond the culture clash, have you considered your own Hypocrisy. You can not be benefitting from a cultural system and be seeking your privacy from it.

1. You have been using your father in law as your project officer. Why, because you are related. Your husband trusts him with the money. He is willing to go above and beyond to build for his children, because he sees you as the continuation of him. But as soon as he treats what belongs to you as his, you start foaming in the mouth. If you wanted your privacy, why did you not hire a private project manager. Your father in law won't even know jack about the house. But the many scammers we have here would have drained your pockets since with nothing to show.

2. The land you are building on, is it inherited. If so, then you are even more of a hypocrite. You inherited land from parents, and then you want your privacy in the land they passed on to you, while they are still alive. In our culture, passing on such land is simply a consideration that you can do better with it than they could. Passing of baton. But they still have a stake.

3. How many days in the years are you going to spend in Nigeria, that you want to lock up a house for your private use. If you were that much in Nigeria, you should have been able to build your house your self.

4. Are you aware that an unattended house can be colonised and sold off by scammers and you end up in court. Your parents using the house provides your some security.

Further, if your fear is that your husband siblings are in the house. There is no cultural provision in east or west Nigeria for them to inheirit it as long as it was not funded by your father in law. The day your parents die and are buried, they are visitors, except if you permit them too stay.


Except, were the land is not your husbands to inherit. In the Igbo heartland. If your husband is not the first son, he cannot inherit a land were his father built his primary abode or obi.
As a wife, if you want to invest in things you can take after a divorce, then do not do so on family land or with extended family help.

This is the one reason why some women will NEVER pool funds with their husbands, some women would never do it. Some women would have the funds but watch you struggle and hustle and they won't flinch instead of helping you out they would rather build their own empire personally.



Now let's even remove the wife from the equation and assume the man spent every kobo, is it fair for the parents to move into the place after they were told NO and given money to rent another apartment? They don't even respect their own son at all, this is not good and yes they are very insensitive to their son and his wife by extension. They have their own motive for moving in and it will be revealed in due time.

The man is not even happy about the situation hence his thread too. Its not a situation I wish for anyone I know.

If they didn't have funds to move to another apartment I will understand but they were given rent so why?


Madam the house is gone, just know that you have contributed to building house for your husbands family remove your mind from it, advise your husband to to remove his mind.


You both should try to look for funds to start another elsewhere, its very painful but that's the fact. In fact you guys don't have any house anywhere oo just know this and have peace.

Madam please do nothing about this and let your husband handle it. This is a very delicate situation that you may end up blaming yourself if you over react. I personally won't evict my parents or parents in-law in my house except if they are claiming ownership or doing something horrible.
I pay God to bless you so that you get another property and dash them the current one.

TheeDetective:
So you are referring to your MIL and FIL as being insensitive right?

ok lets see if your husband will be happy to hear that you his wife is referring to his parents as being insensitive.

I will be tranferring this your comment to his own thread for him to see how his wife is referring to his parents.

I hate men like you. What are you trying to achieve?

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

if it were to be your parents, believe me you wont be sounding so harsh.
Let your husband's parents stay in that house till you are ready to move in.
Do not make your husband push his parents out of that house.
Instead of wasting money on house rent, use the money for a proper building while they stay in the house till the building is complete.
Your husband's parents are not insensitive, they want to save your husband from sending money yearly for house rent.

TheeDetective:
So you are referring to your MIL and FIL as being insensitive right?

ok lets see if your husband will be happy to hear that you his wife is referring to his parents as being insensitive.

I will be tranferring this your comment to his own thread for him to see how his wife is referring to his parents.

you are such a petty evil being but alas….. ir stupid wicked plan will not work. Yes….. they are insensitive.

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

My dear buy another land and start a new building... They only rented it too, they will surely give it back when they die... So no qualms. Don't fight them, just leave it for them.

Acidosis:


No apologies for the insult. If insulting some of you is what it takes to realize the extent of wickedness you condone and if it will prevent the next generation from making the same mistakes some "African parents" made, then I will continue to insult you.

I don't need your apologies.

I have two questions for you and answer it to yourself before insulting me.

Is the old man and woman going to live in that house forever?

The said couple live in the UK. Are they going to live in the property in Nigeria and UK at the same time?

PuZZyNegro:


Insulting you isn't the best but I doubt you read the part where the parents were given money to rent another apartment yet they went ahead to move in to the uncompleted house their son is building.

To be honest with you, if I were in their shoes, I will rent a new apartment for them and let them leave my house.

No emotions here.

Sir, if I may add, the said parents are old. And they aren't going to live in that house forever. Are they?

The couple live in the UK. And I bet they need someone to monitor the house till it gets completed then they can go live elsewhere.

They should just allow those old people live in peace.

abeniagbon:


My dear buy another land and start a new building... They only rented it too, they will surely give it back when they die... So no qualms. Don't fight them, just leave it for them.

They don't even have to buy another land.

They should continue building the house and allow the old people to live in that house.

The couple have a better advantage in this case because they both live in the UK while building a house in Nigeria.

Unless the house documents are not tampered with, i suggest they allow the old parents live in that house to monitor the building project efficiently.

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

@ the bolded, this means he bought the land and started the building project without your input at the beginning.

It was after you guys got married you became a financier of the project.

Based on the above, his parents won't believe you have financial input in the building project.

Since he started the project alone, why ask for financial input from his wife as the project progresses? Cos your money in the project is a major stumbling block on how he will handle this issue with his parents.

You can only demand a refund of what you have contributed so far and you guys start another building project together. In this new building project, your name and husband's name will be on the land documents and every other documents relating to the building project.

Do not involve any family members this time around.

Correct me if I am wrong with my assumptions.

cococandy:
1)Maybe your dad could afford multiple properties, don’t assume the OP and her husband can.

2)there’s nothing wrong with one’s parents living in their house. I believe It’s the way they went about it that’s annoying the couple.

3) also everyone is a little different. For them to offer to rent a place for the parents probably means they don’t want anyone living there. Maybe for personal reasons.

4) property in Nigeria can get dicey and I understand why people get hyper vigilant about it.
From parents living there, one sibling can join them in a few months and before you know it, years down the line , it becomes a contested property. Especially since they are not home based.

Some people don't understand personal space and privacy. And the parents just believe it is a house and it is for their son, so they have the right to live there.

Others don't help matters with the emotional blackmail of "they are your parents, they brought you up" blah blah.

And once the parents start to live there and settle in, they won't want to go to a rented apartment again.

I think the guy in question is not someone who stands his ground. If not, the parents won't just move in.

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

Madam, for peace and love, don't say a word when your husband is handling things with his parents.
Have a good discussion with him, let him handle the rest with wisdom.
Hmmmm, You really need wisdom here, there are times our parents hurt us and we just have to understand things from their point and life, life may be really challenging for them,but let your husband handle this with utmost wisdom.
Please, don't get involved when he is speaking with his parents, for peace and love, don't get involved. In fact when the heat is much, try to calm both parties down. It is just a property, there are people who even wish their parents can move into their house right now.
Please, let wisdom be used.

franklingud:

I don't need your apologies.

I have two questions for you and answer it to yourself before insulting me.

Is the old man and woman going to live in that house forever?

The said couple live in the UK. Are they going to live in the property in Nigeria and UK at the same time?

I apologize for the insults. Sincerely, I am sorry. I don't think we should drag this any further.

I saw your husband post earlier, he didn't mention his parents told him and he refused. He should have told us they asked, he didn't consent.

Now that I have a clearer fact of the matter, I'll like to ask;

1. Is your husband building in his hometown or in the village?
2. What is the proximity b/w where your in-laws lived (the rented apartment) and your new home?
3. How big is this house he is building?
4. Apart from your husband, are there other successful children with your in-laws?

If you're African, a Nigerian precisely, you'll understand that this isn't just about privacy or property acquisition.

Our parents are usually proud people. Particularly very proud of their children when they're successful.
It's humiliating to be dealt harshly by a landlord at a certain age especially when you know you are bigger that that (banking on your son's wealth). Every father will want to proof that he have a bigger house.

Secondly, their intent will never be to claim, no parent will do that. But probably they could think it's big enough to accommodate everyone.

If that is his hometown, you should give it up because that's how it's going to be till his son build for him a good house too. If it's in the city, then why border? Parents will retire and go back home soon, or just build something small for both of them where they chooses to live.

I understand how you feel now, truth is in this part of the country, you are bonded not just with a man, but his entire family. Any attempt to jettison this thought will put you more in harm's way, which part you're threading now.

My advice is take it easy, speak kindly with your in-laws, they'll give you space when they understand.

cococandy:
1)Maybe your dad could afford multiple properties, don’t assume the OP and her husband can.

2)there’s nothing wrong with one’s parents living in their house. I believe It’s the way they went about it that’s annoying the couple.

3) also everyone is a little different. For them to offer to rent a place for the parents probably means they don’t want anyone living there. Maybe for personal reasons.

4) property in Nigeria can get dicey and I understand why people get hyper vigilant about it.
From parents living there, one sibling can join them in a few months and before you know it, years down the line , it becomes a contested property. Especially since they are not home based.

Why you get sense like this?
Which school you attend.

I will reserve my defense, because of your presentation.

Which ever works for them, but i will still let my parents stay in my empty property, rather than being tenants.

[quote author=TheeDetective post=106421014]So you are referring to your MIL and FIL as being insensitive right?

ok lets see if your husband will be happy to hear that you his wife is referring to his parents as being insensitive.

I will be tranferring this your comment to his own thread for him to see how his wife is referring to his parents.


now that you have done it, did you make any sense.

Op I just suggest that you should hide your face from that matter because it may be a road to your matrimonial destruction. Your husband is in better way to handle that matter, even if his parents made him furious to anextent he can never hate them. So I suggest you should be the good Samaritan here. Since the house is still in construction allow them. You two can rent a house for them then he will be the one that will ask them to pack to the be location and make sure that they are comfortable with the house. Don't give them money to rent house; you two should rent it for them by sending the cash to the lordland direct or a trusted agent.

Ur husband already opened a thread for this...build anoda hus

Solatpumpkim:


My parent are content and will never make such insensitive decision. If they do, I will personally eject them from the property; as they have no right to move into a property built by myself and my husband without our consent. “Like seriously, who does that”
If they truly love and respect our marriage they won’t do such; as things like this could break home. If I single handedly build a house then it will be a different ballgame.

See, there is nothing you can do about this. After all, the man was already building the house before knowing you. Ask your husband or whatever you called him to give you back your contribution in the house and if u can't cope with that , divorce him . You are bad wife .

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

wicked women everywhere, you don't want parents to enjoy the fruit of their labour because you are married to their son. If they are your parent you will keep them in rented apartment when you have a house and nobody is living in.

Tell your husband to build their own house for them if he don't want them stay in his house. God will never allow me have a wife that will make me denied my parents.

franklingud:

I don't need your apologies.

I have two questions for you and answer it to yourself before insulting me.

Is the old man and woman going to live in that house forever?

The said couple live in the UK. Are they going to live in the property in Nigeria and UK at the same time?

don't mind the evil greedy woman. Try this one with my mama let her use JuJu send u out of my house the next day.

Dilemmas of people living abroad.

Mistake number one is telling parents you are building not to talk of executing the project through them.

People don't learn

[quote author=KIA51 post=106429034][/quote]


The parents are very insensitive actually.