c#nt
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialedit. A man answered, saying "Hello." I
Politelysaid, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell ?"



Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I
found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.



After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a C*nt!" and hung
up. I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt'nextto it, and put it in
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "

You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.



When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'C*nt'callingwould
have to stop. So, I called his number and said,"Hi,thisis John Smith from
BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"



He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"



One day I was at LakesideShopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a
parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled
into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that
I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For
Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.



A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt( Ihad his number
on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too. I
said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?" Yes, it
is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked

"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced
house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen,"

hesaid. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"

"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."

"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
dial, too.



Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up
with an idea. I called C*nt#1. Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't
hang up.)



"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Steve Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal
grey Land Rover parked out the front."



He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve.

And you had better start saying your prayers."



I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up. Then I called
C*nt#2. "Hello?" he said.



"Hello, C*nt," I said.



He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are, "

"You'll do what?" I said.

"I'll kick your a**e," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

129 Alice Street, Ilford ,and that I was on my way over there to kill my
gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodiewar going down in
Alice Street, Ilford .



I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there
just in time to watch two C*ntsbeating the crap out of each other in front
of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.



NOW I feel much better.



Anger management really works,

U are insane.lol.
I like dis.

Nice one

phew, that was some joke, jezzz,
i cant stop laughing. you ve made my day.

watin we no go see 4 dis life?

hey guy ure a genius!!! men my boss almost kicked me out of the office because i was laughing uncontrollably hahahaha,  boy ol boy keep it up. cheers!!!!

I'm almost dying 4rm dat joke bt plz giv me ur no so I can save it wit d*ckhead

Keep dis up.

lol

I love this

Good to see Siena unwind. Good joke too

abeg carry pot cova dis ur yeye teeth ojare

@ lollabey

U dey here. [size=8pt]Off to Auto section[/size]

Eagle1:



Good to see Siena unwind. Good joke too

C'mon dude, Siena posted that TWO years ago, so he DEFINITELY must be done un-winding by now.

@kay9

Yes o. tnx. didn't check da date. Gota good laugh tho

@lolabbey. Can't match ur wits. Do enjoy ur contributions. Keep them cumming